Sex With Dr. Jess

Latest Episodes:

A Rant About Micro-Cheating Feb 07, 2020

Show notes

This is a six minute quickie! And it’s a bit of a rant about micro-cheating. From deep-liking to chatting with an ex, what behaviours are considered cheating? And how do you deal with a partner whose behaviour is making you uncomfortable? Have a quickie listen today! Behaviours that have been classified as micro-cheating include: using emoticons, liking too many photos on an account, “deep liking” online (liking old photos), posting sexy selfies, having friends of the gender(s) to which you’re attracted, and having private DM conversations. I think this is absurd. What specifically constitutes cheating is subjective, but the micro-cheating expectations set some very narrow guidelines that simply are not realistic. In fact, some of these expectations are rooted in control, possession and monitoring that sets off some red flags with the potential to undermine respect, love and personal autonomy. Is it fair to say that anything that makes your partner uncomfortable should be classified as cheating or micro-cheating? Certainly, some of these behaviours can cause tension in a relationship, but tension itself is not evidence that your behaviour is in appropriate; compatibility and monogamy are subjective concepts — one person might be fine with their partner dancing sensually with another person and another might find it threatening. Neither is right or wrong — it’s up to you and your partner to talk about expectations and boundaries. I’m more concerned about the desire to control your partner’s behaviour than I am about many of the behaviours on the so-called micro-cheating list. What if you disagree on these boundaries and definitions of cheating? If you disagree, you run into an issue of compatibility. Again — there is no universal standard. Many of our expectations around relationships are personal, cultural and even regional. You have to talk about these issues and behaviours from the onset and you need to keep talking. It’s a conversation that requires vulnerability and work and compromise. You don’t get to call the shots and the real mistakes people make is the assumption of monogamy, and the assumption that monogamy means the same thing to everyone. It doesn’t. We have a wealth of data to support this, but people are so hung up on their belief that they are the ultimate arbiter of right and wrong that they make far too many assumptions. Let’s say you have this conversation and you still disagree. Does this mean you're incompatible? It might. But you might also need to be more flexible. If you expect to find someone who agrees with you on everything, you should stop looking. They don’t exist. It can feel that way when you first meet because you’re overwhelmed by passion chemicals, but once you get to know them, I can assure you there will be significant differences in definitions and expectations. How do you have the conversation effectively? You dig deep and get vulnerable. And you talk about feelings first. If something makes you uncomfortable, you need to identify the emotion associated with that discomfort — is it insecurity, self-consciousness, fear, threat of loss or another negative emotion? Talk about the feeling that underlies your desire or belief as opposed to debating the righteousness of a behaviour. If you don’t want your partner to text their ex, talk about how it makes you feel as opposed to discrediting the person. When you show vulnerability, it leads to more honest and meaningful conversations. And for the partner who is engaging in a behaviour that causes tension, ask yourself why it’s important to you. Why do you do it? Do you chat with your ex because you’re secretly hoping for an intimate connection or do you stay in touch because they’re an important person in your life? Convey the underlying motivation and feelings honestly to your partner. We’ll all be better off when we stop trying to control one another — especially with shaming language like “micro-chea...

How to Manage Infidelity As A Couple Jan 31, 2020

Show notes

George’s wife cheated on him — twice. He still remembers the smell of the room they were in when she told him 13+ years ago. George joins us to share his story of how worked through the infidelity and continue to grow as a couple. He shares his struggles, lessons learned and the ways in which his community supported them through the process. Many years later, they’re together and thriving just as they did in the early years of their relationship. Please see a rough transcript of this episode below. Brandon: Welcome to the @SexWithDrJess Podcast. I’m your co-host Brandon Ware here with my lovely partner, Dr. Jess Jess: Today we’re going to be talking about infidelity and moving forward after an affair. In the past, we’ve talked about the fact that there are many ways in which you can hurt your partner. There are many means through which you can cause harm to a relationship. And that feeling hurt is a universal experience alongside the feelings of being let down, feeling alone and even feeling betrayed at times. In a world that touts monogamy as the gold standard of relationships, however, we have placed sexual cheating at the top of the transgression hierarchy. Many view cheating as the worst possible thing you can do to your partner (perhaps with the exception of physical and emotional abuse). But the reality is that cheating is common. Some research suggests that one quarter of us has cheated. I’d suggest that the number might be higher, because it’s difficult to even be honest with ourselves let alone to be honest with researchers. But relationships survive and thrive despite cheating. And whether or not someone has cheated isn’t necessarily an accurate measure of your relationship quality or fulfilment. You can be in a relationship in which no one has cheated and be miserable and you can be in a relationship in which you’ve both cheated in the past, worked through the causes and effects and be living in deep fulfilment. We’ve talked about monogamy in the past and the challenges that it presents for many people — and strict or toxic monogamy, in particular, so we won’t get into that now. Instead, we’re going to delve into a real life story of how cheating can be overcome. Joining us today to share his story of how he managed and worked through an affair in his relationship is George, who has been listening to the podcast and wrote in with his story. George: I will start off with the good news first: We have been married for nearly 16 years now, we have 3 kids and a good home. She is a stay at home mom and I work full-time. We have a great home and a dog to boot. I need to pinch myself sometimes because we are so fortunate to have what we have, to be together with each other and our kids and to have fulfilling relationships with friends and family. 3 years in to our marriage my wife cheated on me with her boss. The emotion behind writing this even 13 years in the future is still very raw and palatable. I can remember the smells of the tavern we were at when she told me. She had 2 (that she told me of) separate encounters with him. One in their office in Chicago, another on a company trip to NYC. My heart rate is increasing in the telling now. We were both working in lower paying, middle management jobs. We rented a crummy house in a nice community that was near where I worked and the train to the city where her office was located. We were in our late 20's and we spent our evenings and weekends drinking with my friends, smoking cigarettes and giggling. In retrospect I was avoiding adulthood. We had a lively sexual life, I thought, although she wasn't in the mood as much as I am. Truthfully, she still isn't as I am usually ready on a moment's notice. She needs the set and setting just so. Conversely, an empty house without kids in it will do at this point! At any rate, I have always been attracted to her. Even now as we approach our mid-40's she is a sexy women with a body I ...

Kink, Energy Orgasms & Multi-Dimensional Body Scans Jan 24, 2020

Show notes

Evguenia joins Jess & Brandon to share her personal experience with kink play, polyamory, and energy orgasms. She shares a short erotic story (The Decadent Play Party) from her book, Alice in Polyland and walks Jess & Brandon through a multi-dimensional body scan. As it was referenced on the podcast, check out Evguenia's free Healing Body Scan Exercise here. Follow Evguenia on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter & Youtube. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Kink, Energy Orgasms & Multi-Dimensional Body Scans 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with the Doctor Chess O'Reilly and I am here with the we VIBE wand you hold that like you're going to do some dirty to me with it so this wand is this is not sponsored by the way looks like an Oversized microphone if you're familiar with the Hitachi magic wand which is a back massager that has been around for decades and has been used for non back massage. There's purposes this is in my in my opinion an improvement upon that wand by my friends over at we've five and it's it's just just this beautiful beast that I was GonNa sub in for Brandon's microphone but I was too late. It looks like that thing is ready for pleasure. Yeah and the the We vibe one you guys should check it out you can go google that is causing a little bit of a storm here at my house because Ria we've had a number of people ask to see it to touch it. Yes what it's all about. Let me be clear. I don't leave this big sex toy out on my coffee table. It's just that in Carlisle Johnson from good for her was here a little while back and she. I guess people haven't seen it yet. So she mentioned it to someone else who mentioned it to someone else and then someone came mm to drop off some equipment at my house unrelated to sex toys and just kinda standing in the doorway. This is this is a friend but a friend of the from social media. But I haven't met in person person and she said well you have something I want to see and I said Oh. I'm sure I'm sure I do. She said I wanNA see the wand. Because Carla what was talking about it and now I've been carrying the one everywhere with me so make sure you check that out. It's the we want totally unsponsored. Just thought I'd share that with the all other. You'RE GONNA say I cuccia either one but brandon's upstairs playing with it. Yeah you can leader. If you'd like okay. It's nice all over the body so today we're GONNA be talking about a number of topics with our special guests of Kenya from spirit. Sex Lab so of an accredited energy therapist a sex educator cater. She studied at the world's premier hands on healing program. What is that? What is the world's premier hands on healing program? It's called the Barbara Brennan School of Healing. It's located in Miami and it's a four year program really really in depth in terms of healing approaches and also personal growth personal transformation. Oh Okay and so. It's not just about sexuality. Although that's year airing all yes. You study A lot of things Second Year focuses serology. The and Also Mind Sexual Gardens comes from seven years of experience in polio.

Amazing Anal & Prostate Play Jan 17, 2020

Show notes

Author & Sex Educator Carlyle Jansen joins us to discuss anal sex, prostate pleasure and sex toys. Carlyle shares her insights and tips regarding: How to stimulate the perineal sponge The best toys for prostate pleasure The importance of butt plugs for anal sphincter relaxation Why you want to have Goldilocks poops The water-bottle butt technique The clock technique for the prostate The importance of your knuckles when it comes to your butt The relationship between “rest & digest” and pleasure Be sure to catch "Conversations for Couples: Passion, Intimacy, Sex & More" with Jess & Brandon at Good For Her in Toronto on January 27th, 2020! Get your tickets here. The following products were mentioned in today's podcast: Loki Wave Fun Factory Duke Pleasure Plug We-Vibe Vector Aneros Prostate Simulator To learn more about anal play, listen to Episode 72, "All About Anal" here. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns.

Specific Strategies for Talking to Teens About Sex, Sexting & More Jan 10, 2020

Show notes

Author and sex education expert, Dr. Karen Rayne is a wealth of information and has developed specific and actionable strategies to help you talk to your kids and teens about sex and other difficult topics. In this episode, Karen and Jess discuss: How to talk to teens about breakups, sex, sexting, risk-taking The “one question” rule to revolutionize conversations about sex Specific “rules” for talking to teens 10 steps to break the “hush factor” when it comes to sex The benefits of considering yourself a “contractor” when it comes to your teen How to ensure that your child/teen feel supported and come to you during times of need, distress and crisis Sexting - essential rules, approaches and considerations How to stay cool when your teen is riling you up Considerations related to how much space and autonomy to give your teen As Dr. Karen referenced "The Hush Factor" in today's podcast, please see this explanatory graphic below. Follow Dr. Karen on Instagram. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Specific Strategies for Talking to Teens About Sex, Sexting & More 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Hey Jessica Riley here your friendly neighborhood sexologist. And today I am joined by Dr Karen Rain the Executive Director of on on hushed an author and educator. You do all the things in sex education with folks of all ages but with a focus on young people and parents. Yeah yeah I would say so. And part of the reason I don't focus a lot on adults is because they're really hard to reach and so I have plans in the works long-term plans. Do you think adults need more. Sex Education may be even more than teens. Do you think think we ended up in a place where we think because we're mature or because we have experienced. We don't need the formal education. Yeah or people think that. Oh like I got that when when I was a teenager as much as I needed and Not Recognizing that things change as you get older bodies change what you want out of a relationship. Changes is what you don't want on her relationship. Changes like everything evolves and continues to evolve are learning about sexuality and relationships needs to continue through as a life life-span learning process one pattern. I observe with parents is that oftentimes you didn't receive sex education. You needed when you were younger as we know In many cases it was entirely absent. And then your kid or your team comes to you with an issue or they don't come to you but you observe from the sideline the and then you have to do the learning in order to be the teacher in some ways and so I'm thinking of a couple of scenarios lately where some parents texted me and they're fourteen fifteen year old in in these cases daughters are either sexting and I know sexting abroad term means lots of different things but sending sexy messages suggestive tax even some sexy photos not not nudes in these cases. And they're freaking out. They're really concerned. They see it as a moral issue is an ethical issue. They see this as something that could potentially ruin their daughters lives. And as much as I you know we can understand that visceral reaction that yo...

Sexual Values Questionnaire Part II Jan 03, 2020

Show notes

Jess & Brandon complete the Sexual Values Questionnaire and continue learning about themselves and one another. They discuss how they feel about the physical, practical, emotional and spiritual components of sex. They also discuss sexual frequency and some of the challenges they personally face. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sexual Values Questionnaire Part II 00:00:05 - 00:05:15 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcasts it's twenty twenty first podcast of the year. I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my love. The other half Dr Jess Pretty Pretty excited for twenty twenty produce cited what what particularly excite you twenty twenty space travel flying cars. It's twenty twenty twenty. I'm teleporting everywhere. Robots clean my house and make smoothies. I'm pretty sure there are robots that clean the house. Listen I'm just excited for the jetsons. Yes which is what. Let me guess what I watched as a child right well tell me this was the jetsons set in twenty twenty because it seemed like it was set in twenty twenty it. Did they had flying cars. We're not there other than that. I don't know anything about the show contrary to what you believe. I did not watch that as a child. They had a robot a dog. They did have a dog. I don't think it was a robot dog underneath that it was a robots a robot. So anyhow I'm excited for this year it's the very beginning beginning. We Pretty Nice holiday definitely hope everyone had a good holiday was fairly relaxing. I'm a little still under the whether you're getting under the weather. This is my fault you in a throw you under the bus on this one. I'm getting sick because of you. Use My toothbrush are you. Somebody's toothbrush other day. Whose it was probably somebody was cleaning with it? Did you use the cleaning toothbrush. Filled bleach clean done. My New Year morning breath was just a little bit better Vinnie so we had a pretty good holiday feeling. I've feeling relaxed. I'm not as refreshed as I would have liked to have been for the start of the year and I know you're more of a sentimental person like wanting to do things a certain way to set the tone. Interestingly I was reading that the tradition of wanting to be doing being something specific at midnight at the start of the year comes from our shameful pass. So the idea that Oh. I should be spending time with with whomever I love. Or if I'm having a good time at midnight it means I'm going to have a great year. I was reading. This actually comes from the shameful past of slavery That's no that. Slaves would be families in slavery. Would the extra nervous four January first because because this was the date when their owners could lease them out to another property so this was a time when families became separated from one. Another so something that we see as this you know perhaps positive or sentimental tradition is perhaps related to are sorted history of I. It's such a weird thing to say to even the the notion of owning people but I think it's important we talk about it because it wasn't that long ago because folks we know still have surviving relatives who who who were affected and of c...

How to Better Understand Your Sexual Values (And Your Partner’s) Dec 27, 2019

Show notes

In this episode, we use the Sexual Values Questionnaire to explore our own sexual values. Brandon shares his experiences learning about sex and gender through sport, family and (Catholic) school and I share my memories of what I learned about sex growing up. We don’t complete the full exercise, so it will be continued in next week’s episode. If you’d like to support our work and spice up your toy drawer while you’re at it, check out our affiliate links and use discount code DRJESSVIP at checkout to save on our favourite products. We appreciate you! Code DRJESSVIP THANK YOU! 💜 (for real) Code: DRJESSVIP-Save $ + Support Us! No pressure — but if you’re shopping, use our code DRJESSVIP for exclusive savings and a little support for us, too. Win-Win! LOVEHONEY.COM WE-VIBE.COM This is an affiliate link. We may earn a commission. Thank you! TL;DR: Your Sexual Values Deserve Attention And Reflection Most of us learned about sex from shaky sources: locker rooms, pulpits, porn, and poorly xeroxed school handouts. Your sexual values matter. They shape what sex means to you (physically, emotionally, spiritually) and influence everything from desire to compatibility. Start reflecting with these prompts: What did you learn about sex growing up? What values feel true to you now? What do you want from sex, emotionally, physically, spiritually? How do you want to feel before, during & after sex? How do you expect sex to evolve over time? Our takeaways: Brandon’s Catholic school and sports culture = shame + silence. Jess got body-positive messaging later, but still absorbed “chaste girl” scripts. Sexual values are fluid and they grow as you grow. Support your reflections with sensation: We-Vibe Nova 2 for blended g-spot + clitoral stimulation We-Vibe Melt for couples craving oral-style intensity Dig deeper in your body & mind: Our Mindful Sex Course offers guided reflection and pleasure-focused practices. Craving more connection? Try: How to Talk About Fantasies Without Feeling Weird Overcome Sexual Repression Bottom line: Sexual values aren’t rules, they’re reflections of your evolving erotic self. Honour them. Share them. Re-write them. Exploring Your Sexual Values Many of us are navigating our adult sexual selves using an outdated roadmap written by school boards, religious institutions, sports locker rooms and awkward parental chats. Sound familiar? In this episode, Brandon and I go through the first few questions of the Sexual Values Questionnaire, a tool I often use with clients and groups. Rather than assuming we’re on the same page about what sex means and how we express it, this activity invites us to step back and consider: What do we really believe about sex? And where did those beliefs come from? Whether you’re single, partnered, or somewhere in between, these eleven questions offer an opportunity to explore how your values have been shaped, which ones serve you now, and which you might want to release. Why Do Your Sexual Values Matter? Because sexual compatibility isn’t just about positions and preferences, it’s about understanding. And you can’t create meaningful connection without first understanding yourself. This process can be both grounding and liberating. Feel free to try the Sexual Values Questionnaire on your own or with your partner(s) using the following questions as discussion prompts: What messages did you receive about sex growing up? What messages do you wish to retain and which ones do you want to reframe/discard? What does sex mean to you? How important is sex to you?

The Most Common Couple Fights & How to Manage Conflict This Holiday Season Dec 20, 2019

Show notes

What are the most common issues couples fight about? How can you argue less and effectively manage conflict? How do you find middle ground when it comes to tough topics like money, sex and time? How can you support your partner over the holidays when they’re faced with family and sibling conflict? Jess and Brandon share their stories and sex therapist and psychologist Dr. Rachel Needle weighs in with her expertise. Follow Dr. Rachel on Facebook, Twitter & Instagram. To learn more about Modern Sex Therapy Institutes, click here. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Most Common Couple Fights & How to Manage Conflict This Holiday Season 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the SAX with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess. PODCAST I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other. Half Dr Jess Hey. Hey doing I'm great. How you doing candidate coming up on the holidays lots going on? We do have a lot going on so before we dive in. Because we're GONNA be talking about common fights that couples bowls and even siblings and families have. And how do maybe have fewer of those fights or fight fair and resolve them. And I think I'd like to chat a little about common holiday. They've fights before we do big. Thank you to desire. Resorts increases for their ongoing support of this podcast. Be sure to check them out at desire experience. It's now joining us. Today is Dr Rachel Needle. Who is a sex therapist psychologist Tell us a little bit about your organization. Sure so thanks so much for having me. I'm excited to be here As you said I'm a licensed psychologists certified sex therapist I'm in private practice and on a group called the hall all Psychological Center in West Palm Beach Florida. I also Co Director of modern sex therapy institute. So we Do Continuing Education and certified sex therapists around the world so very excited to be here. Yes and so. I'm doing some work with modern sex therapy institutes coming up in March. Can't wait of twenty twenty in west Palm Beach not a bad place to be in March. I think Brennan will probably come down. Join me could excellent. Because it's cold in Toronto at that time and then we'll be in New York City in May and so if you are a sex therapist or counselor even educators or just enthusiasts they come and attend these clinical trainings wings on a wide range of topics including some of the most common issues. You're facing sex therapy and we're we're also going to be talking about the business of sex therapy sex exit education and sex counselling because that's sort of my background. Yeah and something that a lot of people don't talk about and don't learn anything about right how to build a business as a therapist and specifically specifically as a sex therapist so I think that's going to be a really well received one. Yeah excited to be joining forces. So you're here today because you've got the expertise. He's on fighting. What do couples come to you fighting about? What are the most common issues? Say what a thing to have an expertise the fighting expert now so we had an argument last night and we want to turn it into a therapy session. I'm just kidding Swedish it.

Full-Body Orgasms & How to Be Grounded in Your Body Dec 13, 2019

Show notes

M'kali-Hashiki has a complex sexual history including personal experience with polyamory, non-monogamy, BDSM, and achieving mystical states during sex. She considers herself a “sexual outlaw”, as well as being a “triple minority” (Black, female, and queer); accordingly, she views society's standards on sexuality with a critical eye. In this episode, we discuss: Erotic empowerment & breath work The difference between the erotic and the sexual How to be more grounded in your body The importance of “checking in” with the butthole and with the jaw Full-body orgasms Follow M'kali on Instagram, Facebook & Youtube. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Full-Body Orgasms & How to Be Grounded in Your Body 00:00:05 - 00:05:03 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Jazz. PODCAST I'm your co host Brandon. Where here with my lovely partner? Dr Jess Hi there before we get started I want to give a a big thank you to desire resorts and SPA. And they have a cruise line for their ongoing support of this podcast. Check them out at desire your experience today. We have a very special guest and really excited because this gas works in an area of the sexuality the field. That is far beyond the purview. So I have lots of questions. Lots of learning to do and Kali has shaky is an erotic empowerment consultant and and you teach erotic breath work course. What does that entail? Oh suss alert. There's a big question and Basically the idea is that Breath one of my little catchphrases. That breath is an anchor and a vehicle and and so breath keeps US anchored in our body but it also moves energy around the body and it's a really important way to get in contact with an access our Roddick Energy and I define Roddick is different than sexual. Although related so around breath work is really about teaching people particular breath techniques techniques that they can use to deepen their relationship with their with themselves and also to deepen their relationship with the divine however they define that. And so what's the difference between erotic and sexual so to me when I do a three part definition And it's the central. The sexual erotic to differentiate between the three so the central Paul is that which is pleasing to stimulation of any of the senses. And the sexual is anything that is pleasing to stimulation of any of the erogenous zones owns and or the genitalia with one or more of the following as goal connection communication or orgasm and the erotic is that which is stimulation of over please into the soul and the ways that they are connected. Is that sensuality sexuality or the Central and the sexual are the most direct routes and the most embodied routes to the soul so I teach erotic breath work but it also does have Uses for enhancing sexual intimacy. But that's not the only thing that is about and and so does this type of breath work learning and practice affect your daily life side from the central is really well you. We know helping people to be more grounded in their body I work a lot with Folks who as I say live and bodies multiple marginalized by estate. And I say that he's that phrase you know.

Fat Sex, Topping & Bottoming and How To Be a Dominant in Bed Dec 06, 2019

Show notes

Nikki DaVaughn joins Jess to share insights on Domination, dirty talk, fat sex and body confidence. We cover: Scripts you can use if you want to try being more Dominant with your lover. The difference between being a Dominant and a top; the difference between being a sub and a bottom. The language of fatness: plus-size vs curvy vs fat. How her mother’s voice offset the potential effects of a fat phobic and objectifying culture. Body positivity versus body neutrality. Follow Fat Bottom Cabaret on Instagram and Facebook. Follow Nikki on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. This podcast is brought to you by Desire Resorts. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Fat Sex, Topping & Bottoming and How To Be a Dominant in Bed 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Hello Hello Jessica Riley your friendly neighborhood sexologist here and today we are talking to Nikki Devan a writer storyteller a a performer. A dominatrix the host of fat bottom cabaret yes. Hi Hello thank you for being here so excited site to be here. Oh so you host fat bottom cabaret tell us all about that so fat. Bottom cavalry is a plus size cabaret troupe. Based here in Austin Texas and I am the founder and director but as a troop we put on a show once a quarter. Call them in nursery and It is a powerhouse collective of POC performers. You either have to be a person of color a person of size or you have to be queer. And it's just A. It's a SEC Obama's Obama's way to showcase people of color during their art and create visibility. And you have fun and it's a party on stage and I am see awesome. The Harry coming up soon. Yes December seventh. It's called fanciest. Eff that way so many times it. It is a great description we mutual friend Adam from. Yes our counseling on. I would describe him as oh absolutely absolutely. Adam is one of our sponsors sponsors for our show and every time he's okay. I want to sponsor the show them like. That sounds great. And he's like I'm just GonNa give you this. And every time he offers something it turns terms are show into the FA- oh you just took us up a notch on like that. He's fancy I like it. If you're not following moon tower counseling. I highly right. Yes check them out because what Adam has a unique ability to do Adam and sex positive families have this skill where they can give re-lease elise thoughtful and practical insights in like eight words right. I can't do that. I need a lot of words. I'm chatty yeah talking to a turtle the other up. Can we talk about the Turtles Austin. Because you're from Austin yes I am from here yes. I was walking along the river the other day and I saw seven turtles and the almost looked as though they were top a top of one another. Yeah right and Adams saw it on my instagram was like Oh so you went to a turtle orgy. Of course Adam said that I like Oh my God the turtles are I am very biased. They are the cutest God. Damn things in the world and is though they congregate where they know. They're going to be a lot of people and then they do cute things like each other's backs or like pop up on land and look around and like crawl right up to you and they'd be like nope never mind go away.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected