Sex With Dr. Jess

Latest Episodes:

Empathy Is A Superpower: How to Cultivate Trust, Have More Fulfilling Relationships & Work Through Trauma Jun 12, 2020

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Marriage and family therapist Shadeen Francis joins us to talk about X-Men, therapy, vulnerability and emptying the jug. She helps us to explore the following questions: How can the “emptying the jug” approach lead to more fulfilling relationships? How can we even begin to open up and let our guard down? What language can we use if we’re new to opening up and letting others in? How can empathy transform experiences? How is self-esteem tied to vulnerability? What does it mean to be vulnerable — the good and the bad? How can distraction be useful when dealing with difficult experiences? How can we improve communication around challenging topics? How can we open up and be more open to being emotionally impacted? Follow Shadeen on Twitter and Instagram. This podcast has been sponsored by Let'sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Empathy Is A Superpower: How to Cultivate Trust, Have More Fulfilling Relationships & Work Through Trauma 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice. You can use tonight. Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess podcast I'm your co host, Brandon wear here with my lovely partner Dr Jess Hey. Hey, now before we get started, I want to show our sponsor. Let's get checked. Use Code, Dr Justice Save on at home. STI testing hormone testing, other health tests go to let's get checked. Dot Com, and please enter code Dr. Justice Save and let them know that you learned about them here. Now today we are joined by Shea Dean Francis, marriage and family therapists with a specialty in sex therapy and social justice sheer to talk about her work, and how you can learned open up and be more vulnerable, and how this can improve your relationships and change your life welcomed. Thanks so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me now. You Are Toronto. Born like me. You are a transplant and you're. You're in Philly now. So what brought you into the field of sex therapy So the short version of the story was that my original plan was to join the X men, and it. It felt like a reasonable extension. To then get really into the world of sex kind of my. My link was through Sue Johannesen Henson talk, sex with sue and I. Came across her work at a time when I was really realizing that there weren't open dialogue, there weren't places where people could go to have. These conversations and someone had called in to her show I was. This is probably the summer for seventh grade and as a pragmatic and realizing like shit, I might be enormity so my powers were not manifesting and I'm thinking payable. Let me have something working on in the meantime while I wait for my obvious mutant. to become apparent to everyone else. and someone called into her show and said thank you so much for your work. You saved my life. So my great I'll just do that like what whatever whatever it is. She's doing obviously is important. She was like waving around with a big purple, like but plug and I'm like okay well, whatever that is helps people so I should probably do that, so the X. men didn't call not yet, I'm I'm still hopeful and so you know if you're out there. Professor Clavier I'm ready. Superpower shown. Come forward,

Modern Whore: One Sex Worker’s Story & Insights May 29, 2020

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Andrea Werhun, author of Modern Whore, joins Jess and Brandon to share her personal story as a sex worker, performer and author. She discusses her beautiful journey into sex work and how her work has shifted during physical distancing and isolation. They also discuss: What makes an escort enjoy the experience with a client How sex workers and their clients build trust and connection in their relationships Andrea’s Hire-A-Muse packages The coming out process and Andrea’s story of sharing her truth with her Mom & Dad How to be an ally to sex workers and how to be sex worker-positive Jess’ experience with sex workers at her first SAR Sex work as a healing profession The benefits of sex work Insights from sex work that can benefit all daters Stripping vs. Escorting and the whorearchy The importance of labour rights for sex workers Follow Andrea on Instagram & Twitter. Follow Modern Whore on Twitter & Facebook. This podcast has been sponsored by Let'sGetChecked. Use code DRJESS to save at checkout! If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Modern Whore: One Sex Workers Story & Insights 00:00:05 - 00:05:02 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. How's it going good? Good happy to be back chatting with you. I I know you you say you always feel nervous when we begin these podcast but feel way more relaxed after and I think we could both use that right now. Yeah I mean these are source of therapy for me. I hope you don't mind. I'm not paying you therapy session here. I don't think I'm the one therapist using you. Well it's it's It's it's self therapy then self therapy had just kind of talking about what's going on. Yeah it feels good to get it off. Your chest feels good. I mean especially for somebody who doesn't have a lot of relationships with people where I can open up the way that I do here with thousands and thousands of listening in today. I'm excited because we're going to be speaking with the author of modern. Hor and we need more sex workers on this podcast because if we're talking sex education if we're talking about relationships this is a big part of sexuality and often ignored often kind of treated as a footnote and. I think that many of us live in this world of an kind of a divide of US versus them right You know maybe we have interactions with sex workers in their professional capacity Maybe we have friends who are sex workers and we don't even realize it and they're new. There are many sex workers in my field who are educators and who are also therapist and hearing the stories of how stigma adversely affects their life their work. Their friendships is heartbreaking. But on the flip side. I think we're going to be having a conversation about the positivity about all of the wonderful outcomes of sex work and you know I I have always in my adult. Life regarded sex work. As and of course Wanted to support sex workers but I had a really enlightening moment when I did my very first SAR so SAR stands for a couple of things. But it back then. The course I took was called sexual attitude reassessment and in Sr you learn about old types o...

Sex Ed The Musical & Sexual Golden Tickets May 22, 2020

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Wendy Miller, host of Sex Ed The Musical Podcast, joins us to discuss her experience as the former Head of Production with PlayboyTV. She shares stories from the Playboy set shoots as well as insights from the Under Covers series, which explored the real stories of women from all walks of life. They discuss PlayboyTV’s Swing, the toll TV representations can take on body image and their “Sexual Golden Tickets”. Listen now and learn more! Follow Wendy on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Sex Ed The Musical & Sexual Golden Tickets 00:00:05 - 00:05:11 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr Pye. I'm your co host Brandon. We're here with my lovely other. Half Dr Jess Hey. Hey we are joined today by my friend. Wendy Miller and Wendy and I met working on playboy. Tv's swing and Wendy is the host of sex. Ed The musical the is just following you around. I've heard Wendy. I can't get away from it. No matter how hard I try so I think most people know the show swing but I'm sure there are listeners who don't I O was. This is how I describe it. And it's your your baby so you can correct me if I'm wrong but it's basically a reality show about a bunch of seniors living in a house and every weekend we'd bring a new couple who thought they might. WanNa try swinging and I'd introduce them to the group they'd have a little bit of fun overnight and then I'd come back and do some debriefing you know. Tv therapy with them to think I hit the mark. Did I miss anything? You absolutely the only thing you missed was a cock ring. Tossed one of our favorite item. We need to talk about your podcasts. So who met working on playboy you have worked for everyone from the all the big networks to Oprah and now you're still in television production correct. That is correct. I'm working for a another network right now which I don't want to talk about because It would be very scandalous but Suffice it to say I am still working in mainstream television. Yes yes and definitely not in anything to do with sex anymore. You're you're basically working at the opposite playboy flavored one hundred eighty degree different by the way. That's one of my favorite things that people get wrong when they say. Oh I've completely changed. I did a three sixty well then so I did at one eighty and I'm working at a place that is absolutely no sex whatsoever and that's totally fine But I'm still doing my podcast. Which is all about sex. And I'm podcast and just you probably Brennan you to. You probably encountered this a lot. People WanNa know am I normal? What is normal am I normal? Is this way my normal? Everybody's sort of judging themselves against this ideal of normal do you encounter that a lot. I definitely feel like People WanNa know what normal is and that goes without saying sex money relationship kids vacation you name it. Yeah everybody wants to be within the range of normal but at the top. If that makes sense well I think that a lot of people are worried that their choices their lifestyle. What they've experienced. You know what turns them on? Whatever is abnormal and they think that may be something wrong with them so I decided to do these series of episodes calle...

Your Diagnonsense: How to Break the Avoidance Cycle & Set Your Own Relationship Goals May 15, 2020

Show notes

Therapist Todd Baratz joins Jess to discuss the costs and potential benefits of avoidance behaviours. He shares his thoughts on: The ways in which avoidance can be functional The stress and anxiety associated with sexual avoidance How to manage conflict avoidance The importance of conflict in relationships Specific strategies to break the avoidance cycle Follow Todd on Instagram here. Check out his podcast, Your Diagnonsense. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Your Diagnonsense: How to Break the Avoidance Cycle & Set Your Own Relationship Goals 00:00:05 - 00:05:00 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey Hey Jessica Rally here your friendly neighborhood sexologist and I'm here with psychotherapist todd. Barrett's you're in private practice in New York City you specialize in relationships and sex and I found you through your instagram page. So your instagram page is your diag- nonsense grand and it's full of gems. I I really admire people who are able to sink convey these really meaningful messages with takeaways in such a short amount of taxed. There's another therapist based in Austin Texas. Who's able to do the same atom our from Moon Tower counseling? Soy follow the both of you so excited to talk to you because I'm always green grabbing your stuff saying Oh man I need to ask him about this so happy to have you here. You just came back from Mexico City I did. I'm happy to be here to We've been deeming here in there And it's nice to finally meet you to be here with you to chat about this stuff so I'm super excited but yes just back from Mexico City Great City. Great Time what was the highlight. The highlight was definitely the food The food like literally everything I ate was so so effing good The pyramids are also super cool to Did you go and you have you been no. I've been to the Pyramids along the Mayan. It's a it's an hour trek outside the city. Yeah it's an hour. Wasn't that bad though. It went by pretty quick Especially because if you're driving around an area that you don't know it's Kinda Nice to look at everything The tour was kind of a bit long so I'm not a person it's like. Okay I've seen it like I'm done So it's a little bit longer but still super cool. So is the other highlight. Well I think we're on the same page. If the food was your highlight for sure. Mexico City is so good so good and you live in New York City. You live right down here in the meatpacking. So you've got everything at your fingertips and you still love Mexico City. Oh yeah totally. I mean the food and New York great to But it's also like five times as expensive And I think I had a six dollar croissant this morning. Yeah it's crazy which is like eight fifty Canadian. It's crazy it's just. Everything's so expensive everywhere. Toronto'S EXPENSIVE TO TORONTO is but at least we you know as an American coming in. You've got currently like thirty three percent bump on the dollar so at least a croissants three bucks. It's only like two fifty. I'm don't get me on my mouth. Okay but her numbers but what is? Your thing is giving practical advice around relationships that is grounded in data research base. Psychologically sound and you recently posted about avoidance and.

How to Overcome Sexual Shame May 08, 2020

Show notes

Messages related to sexual shame are ingrained from a young age and they affect how we feel about our bodies, how we interact with sexual partners and how we experience sexual pleasure. This week, we discuss a range of approaches to relinquishing sexual shame. Consent educator, survivor-turned-thriver and founder of CONSENTParenting, Rosalia Rivera joins Jess and Brandon to share her story and insights. They discuss: Rosalia’s personal path to recovery after assault Pleasure as a route to relinquishing sexual shame How partners can support survivors when they disclose past trauma/abuse The importance of your inner compass in recognizing sources of shame Prompt questions to help you examine shame-based beliefs including: What messages did you receive about sex from your parents? What did your parents tell you about sex with their words? What did your parents tell you about sex with their actions? How did your parents react to sexual depictions on TV? What messages did you receive about sex from your peers? What messages did you receive about sex from your teachers? What messages did you receive about sex from media sources? What messages did you receive about sex from your religion? Am I okay with these belief systems? What do I want to do differently for myself? What do I want to do differently for my kids? Follow CONSENTParenting on Instagram and Facebook. Listen to the AboutCONSENT Podcast here. This episode was brought to you by We-Vibe, use code DRJESS on their website for a small discount off your purchase. :) If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Overcome Sexual Shame 00:00:05 - 00:06:26 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Where here with my lovely other? Half Dr Jess how are you? I'm pretty good. I'm happy sunshine in ready to talk about a rather serious topic very serious sexual shame and childhood sexual abuse and just the General Topic of relinquishing sexual. Shame and as usual. I'll put you on the spot. Would you say you were raised with shame around sexuality? I wouldn't say that there was shame but there was certainly a lot of communication around sexuality as I. I remember learning about sex in anatomy in junior school from a bunch of my friends who had like a dictionary with a naked man and woman was like what. How do you think you are probably around? Eight seven or eight. And then. From that point onwards there wasn't really much said in my household probably because of discomfort. Either that or just don't remember anything from when I was a kid and then when I was in high school my parents said and I'm not faulting them because of their own perhaps Discomfort maybe or maybe once again I don't remember just don't come home with the kid. There wasn't really talk about a lot of discussion about sex and sexuality sort of like my parents said. Do not bring a dog home. Yeah so human. Don't you dare bring a dog home. Does the Chinese side the Jamaican side and my Dad's side He. He's not so comfortable with animals. But that's so broad to don't come home with a child because there is no directive of how you might come home with a child o...

Pelvic Floor Health: Perineal Massage, Postpartum, Peeing & De-Stressing Your Vagina May 01, 2020

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Pelvic floor physiotherapist, Kate Roddy, joins Jess to answer questions and share advice for keeping your pelvic floor as healthy as possible. They discuss: How to destress your vagina How to protect your pelvic floor while lifting weights and working out The forms of incontinence and how to manage them Why you don’t have to settle for peeing when you laugh How to do a proper kegel How to differentiate between pain and discomfort The Power of the Kegel Release Curve How to find the back end of the clitoris Safe vaginal & perineal massage (especially postpartum) Symptoms of an unhealthy pelvic floor The 4th trimester Follow Kate on Instagram. To learn more about the Kegel Release Curve, check out their Instagram and website. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Pelvic Floor Health: Perineal Massage, Postpartum, Peeing & De-Stressing Your Vagina 00:00:05 - 00:05:01 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight. Hey just Morelli here and I am with Kate. Roddy of sports and Pelvic physiotherapist. You have just released a new pelvic wand called the Kegalle release curve. Wiz that mean Kegalle release so I think Kiko releases. We are trying to release. Our Kiko muscles are muscles. There's just the pelvic floor Pelvic floor consists of a whole bunch of muscles and for probably eighty years. Now we just keep getting told to our key goals and we know so much more about those muscles and knowing that we need to release them where probably overly stressed down. There are vaginas are stressed just like any other part of our body because its muscles so most people should perhaps not be doing eagles. Most people need to check in with what their vagina needs. And even within a certain week they may need different things. So if you are very stressed your vaginas probably stressed as well because those muscles respond to stress whether it's mental or physical and they're going to protect and guard just like any other body parts so we will always guard our most intimate or stronger than anywhere else. So if you're stressed good chance you're China's stressed and we want to release those muscles like anything so you're probably tensing up and almost doing permanent. Kegalle as out of fair way to put it for lay people like me absolutely absolutely so tension is a contraction right. It's it's the muscle contracting on itself and if it doesn't let go then it's just holding on all the time and then you don't really have a lot more capacity for those muscles to work when you need them so for example if I am really tense and so I'm in a state of contraction almost like I'm doing Akigal though not consciously when I laugh will I P because my muscles too tired it absolutely. If women are having experiences with these accidental leaks so sneeze laugh. They go to lift something heavy. Even the jump or running those are all forms of incontinence and we call that stress incontinence right. So there's an external factor that acts on our body that makes us have a little bit more pressure in our intra abdominal cavity. Which just means our our stomach area and that pushes down on our pelvic floor. If we're to tents from sort of everything else going on in our lives the pelvic floor has ...

A Conversation for Lovers Apr 24, 2020

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Jess & Brandon try one of the “Lovers Inquiries” from her new book, The Ultimate Guide to Seduction and Foreplay co-authored by Marla Renee Stewart. They discuss ways to eroticize daily interactions within the context of a busy lifestyle and work through the prompts in the “Why do I love you again?” activity. Have a listen and try it out yourself using these prompts to guide you: What was the first thing you noticed about your lover? What first attracted you to your lover? On your first date, what excited you most? On your first date, what made you nervous? Do you remember the first time you kissed? What was it like? Do you remember the first time you had sex? What was it like? What is one awkward intimate moment you wouldn’t want to relive, but are able to laugh about now? Can you remember the wildest/hottest sex you ever had? What made it so memorable? How has your partner changed for the better since you first met? And if you’re in the market for a new toy for your bedside drawer, use code DRJESS at Womanizer.com and WeVibe.com to save a few $. To learn more about Erosscia, the adult toy that was mentioned during this podcast, click here. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. A Conversation for Lovers 00:00:05 - 00:05:05 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jasser podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Where here with my lovely other half Dr Jess? How's it going? I'm good. How are you? I'm hanging in there? I have good days bad days these days. I feel like I have good hours. Sobat hours. Yeah I think that's the way it goes during this whole lockdown or semi lockdown pandemic. Yeah it's It's interesting because you can hear in people's voices that were just more emotionally exhausted. Yea I feel that way for sure and I think the people that I work with feel the same way too and sometimes unwilling to admit to how they're feeling like people that are generally very positive. It's hard to get on the phone with somebody. How are you doing? Oh I'm great and for it to sound real. Yeah I think that's a struggle for me because I'm like always up always is always positive. Always happy every day. I wake up and I'm like oh I love life and I don't mean to be that way but these days I'm waking up and I'm like I don't really want to engage engage today as I walk up the stairs with your coffee. I know that is what is keeping me keeping me happy. Yeah so again. We talked about this before. There's this feeling of being really conflicted where we know how lucky we are. But we're still super frustrated and you and I were chatting about where we'd want to travel when this is all over and and again that's just like such a massive privilege to even get to think about that but I was saying to you. There's no where I WANNA go specifically. I JUST WANNA work. I WanNa go where I was supposed to go to work and in May I was so lucky that I was going all over Europe in in Romania in Portugal and Spain and elsewhere and so those are all canceled and I get it of course not you know not a victim in this but I just want to work again. I just wanted to do what I normally do. And it's weird to do it over zoom. Yeah it it.

The Good Sex Diet Apr 21, 2020

Show notes

Let’s talk about food and sex and dismantle diet culture. Food and sex have so much in common and so many of us (Jess included) consider food an important component of our core love languages. Lisa Davis, author of Clean Eating, Dirty Sex: Sensual Superfoods and Aphrodisiac Practices for Ultimate Sexual Health and Connection, joins Jess and Brandon to discuss the ways in which the foods we eat affect our sex lives. We discuss: What foods have been shown to benefit sexual health? Why you may not want to “ditch” foods, but rather focus on new additions How diet affects metabolism How to rice cauliflower How diet can affect erectile dys(function) The power of flavonoids The concept of “cheat days" Follow Lisa on Instagram. If you want to learn more about her book or podcast, click here. Listen to Lisa's Podcast, Talk Healthy Today, here. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record0 your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. The Good Sex Diet 00:00:05 - 00:00:20 You're listening to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight. 00:00:21- 00:00:27 Welcome to the Sex with Dr. Jess podcast. I'm your co-host Brandon Ware, here with my lovely partner, Dr Jess. 00:00:28- 00:00:33 Hey! Hey! Happy to be here today. We're gonna be talking about my favourite topic. 00:00:34- 00:00:35 Dogs? 00:00:35- 00:00:36 No and not sex either. 00:00:36- 00:00:37 No? 00:00:37- 00:00:39 Food. 00:00:39- 00:00:40 That's very true. It is your favourite topic. 00:00:41- 00:00:49 It is and we are joined by author of clean eating, dirty sex. Lisa Davis. Lisa, Thanks for being here. 00:00:50- 00:00:52 Oh, thank you so much for having me. 00:00:52- 00:01:06 Now, your latest book is part memoir; part lifestyle guide; part cookbook. It's about clean eating and dirty sex. I like... I think I like both of those things. Sometimes, I like to eat dirty as well but tell me what made you write this book in the first place. 00:00:52- 00:02:25 Well, I wanted to write about something that I could relate to and I should point out that the book is not about dirty sex. I. It It really is just a play up the word clean. And I was really hoping that would come across. But it's funny. There's so many people who are like I don't. I'm not into that. I'm like well it's just a pun but the book is so about improving your sexual health so, when I was growing up I ate dirty just mentioned dirty eating a moment ago. I mean I hit girl scout cookies and I would eat as much junk food as possible. My friend's house because my grandma was a health food nut. She passed it down to my mom and I just really struggled to eat well for a while. Uh... And so I wanted to talk about something that I struggled with and then I also had an unhealthy relationship with sex. Uh... I was awkward girl who can ever get a date and I was skinny and uncoordinated and not only was I pick last in gym but, they fought over who got stuck with me. And I went to school with the same kids from when I was six till I was eighteen. So it's like you you get you know how you get boxed in and you're always seen a certain way and so I- internalize that and then at eighteen. I suddenly had like a really nice figure out of nowhere and I started dating and sleeping around ...

Can Conflict Save Your Relationship? Apr 17, 2020

Show notes

Do you avoid or lean into conflict? Do you fight to win or fight to understand? Do you speak up when you’re unhappy? This week, CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clarke of Thrive! Inc. join Jess and Brandon to talk about the upside of conflict. They discuss: How to start difficult conversations Three questions to ask yourself when you’re fighting (or about to engage in conflict) How to cultivate better listening skills Why you don’t always need to arrive at compromise or a resolution The challenge of emotional differentiation The connection between conflict and passion The 5-5-5 approach to tackling tough topics Follow CrisMarie & Susan on Instagram and Facebook. Check out their books, The Beauty of Conflict for Couples & The Beauty of Conflict: Harnessing Your Team's Competitive Advantage. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. Can Conflict Save Your Relationship? 00:00:05 - 00:05:08 You're listening to the sacs with Dr Jess podcast sacks and relationship advice you can use tonight Welcome to the sex with Dr. Just podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Wear here with my lovely other half Dr Jess how you doing. I'm good how are you I'm good? I'm good you ready to talk about fighting and conflict. I'm always ready to talk about fighting and conflict but because I think that when we have had fights and arguments that when I have a level head I think I'd benefit tremendously from the you know Not long ago on the PODCAST. We talked about a recent argument. We had It was on a Saturday. We had this argument. It wasn't about much it was really about going for a walk and it was one of those smaller arguments that feels intense in the moment. But after you kind of work through it for me at least I walk away with a sense of relief and can even laugh about it and many months ago over a year ago we recorded an episode on what we fight about and surprisingly it was one of our most popular episodes especially in this is the thing. Among people who know us like friends and family and acquaintances. Who Apparently listened to the podcast? But they've never told us about it. They've never I guess admitted it and we receive so many messages from people who felt reassured or comforted by the fact that you and I argue and I don't know what would make people think that we don't argue. I guess because we don't argue in public and you really only see what we put out there. I mean obviously. I don't post instagram stories. While we're in the middle of a fight and I guess it just for me. It went without saying that. Were a normal couple. Normal couple. Were a happy couple but we still fight. I was thinking. Do you remember our first fight. Our very first fight no not at all. You looked at me like I was going to remember. I thought you remember it. I was like wow. I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday. So I definitely don't remember. I don't even think I could pinpoint our biggest one. I can remember a few where I was really really mad like really mad but the way that I used to fight and the way that I fight now are very different. I just feel like it's changed so much over the years you're wake calmer cranky on and then when you're in your early twenties but you're never explosive a verbally. I think it was more in your body.

How to Get in the Mood for Sex Apr 14, 2020

Show notes

In this quickie episode, we chat about the fact that our interest in sex has declined since the onset of social isolation. We discuss strategies for creating “responsive” sexual desire and managing distractions that detract from pleasure. If you’ve got questions or topic suggestions for the podcast, submit them here. As well, you can now record your messages for us! Please record your message/question in a quiet room and use your phone’s headphones with a built-in mic if possible. And be sure to subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music & Stitcher! Rough Transcript: This is a computer-generated rough transcript, so please excuse any typos. This podcast is an informational conversation and is not a substitute for medical, health or other professional advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the services of an appropriate professional should you have individual questions or concerns. How to Get in the Mood for Sex 00:00:05 - 00:05:04 You're listening to the Sex with Dr Jess podcast. Sex and relationship advice you can use tonight! Welcome to the sex with Dr Jess quickey podcast I'm your co host Brandon. Here with my lovely other half Dr Jess. Hey. I can hear that you're smiling in your voice. I mean I can see it but I'm glad that you can see me across the desk here. I like the sound of it. I'm glad that you like me smiling. Yeah well I wanted to share some big news. We had sex yesterday. Boom! Big News! With each other That was a key point. I had sex by myself. That's okay too. That's cool too and you know it's not big news but I have found that I'm not in the mood for sex lately because Of my hair. No nothing to do with you. I actually love being home with you. Getting to admire you. You have your sleeves rolled up right. Now it's nineteen ninety-four my sleeves rolled up. I it's not about you. It's really just about my routine changing so significantly and I think I'm one of those like I. You know a nice lifestyle. That's high adrenaline very tiring. overworked usually and I love it. Like I love waking up after almost no sleep and catching a flight and being excited to meet New People. I love the risk of my job. Every time you get on stage you don't know if you're GONNA kill it or mess it up and so everything's changed because we're working from home and yeah. I don't find myself in the mood for sex so I wanted to talk about how to get in the mood for sex. When you're not in the mood for sex but you want to be in the mood for sex so to clarify. I'm not suggesting you should have sex when you're not in the mood unless you want to get yourself in the mood and you've probably heard me talk before about sexual desire falling into two experiences. One being spontaneous and the other being responsive so spontaneous sexual desire occurs when you worked at home all day. You've gone through the same routine you've been wearing the same jogging pants and the same shirt and your been hanging out with that same one person relevant to right then you watch some NetFlix and then spontaneously at the end of the day. You're like yeah I want the sex I can't wait to do the sex I'm GONNA get on Top. You know so that spontaneous sexual desire in for many people. That's not particularly realistic. However, we can always experience what we call not always but we have more opportunity to experience responsive sexual desire meaning that it doesn't occur spontaneously. But if you do something to get yourself physically aroused the mental or subjective part of it follows. So if you use a toy or if you fantasize or if you touch each other if you start kissing or if you think about the last time you had sex or you watch porn or you read a story. Whatever it is that turns you on you get turned on physically and then the mind remembers. Oh yeah man sex. I remember that thing that feels really good and so I've noticed that over the last few weeks since ...

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