Sex and Psychology Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 59: Can You “Cheat-Proof” Your Relationship? Nov 05, 2021

Show notes

Most people say that their ideal relationship would be monogamous. Despite this, however, a lot of people seem to have a really hard time maintaining monogamy. So why is that? And if monogamy is what you want, how can you most successfully maintain it and reduce the risk of infidelity?

For the answers to these questions, I spoke with Dr. Lucia O’Sullivan, a Professor of Psychology at the University of New Brunswick. She has published over 100 peer-reviewed articles on sexual and romantic relationships and is an Associate Editor of the Journal of Sex Research.

Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include:

What does it mean to be “monogamous?” Do different people define monogamy in different ways?
Why is it a bad idea to assume monogamy in a relationship?
What works and what doesn’t when it comes to maintaining monogamy? Is there anything you can do to “cheat-proof” your relationship?
What happens when someone in a monogamous relationship develops a crush on someone else? When is this harmless, and when does it become a threat to the relationship?
Are some people better equipped to maintain monogamy than others?
What happens when someone “poaches” a partner from another relationship? How do those relationships tend to work out?
What does sex education look like around the world?

To learn more about Lucia, check out her Psychology Today blog “At First Blush” and her website SexMeetsRelationships.com

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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 58: The Sex Lives of College Students Oct 29, 2021

Show notes

What do the sex lives of college students today look like? And how have they changed over time? I spoke with a sex educator who has amassed more than 30 years’ worth of data from students taking her university human sexuality courses. In total, she surveyed nearly 7,000 students and has obtained unique insights into how everything from kink to faking orgasms to condom use has changed since the 1990s.

My guest today is Dr. Sandra Caron, a Professor of Family Relations and Human Sexuality at the University of Maine. She is an AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator and a licensed therapist. Her latest book is titled The Sex Lives of College Students.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

Has the rise of abstinence-only sex education affected the age at which young people start having sex?
What is the average number of sexual partners a college student has?
Why are fake orgasms on the rise among both college men and women alike?
Are college students masturbating more today than they were in the past?
Have college students gotten kinkier over time?
How have same-sex behavior and sexual identity changed among young people?
Are college students today taking more sexual risks or are they practicing safer sex?

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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 57: The Science of Sexual Fluidity and Gender Fluidity Oct 22, 2021

Show notes

A lot of people think about sexual orientation and gender as stable characteristics of the self–they think that people are just born a certain way. While it’s certainly true that many people do demonstrate stability in these traits throughout their lives, not everyone does. Many people experience some degree of sexual and/or gender fluidity, which can manifest in unexpected shifts in identity and expression over time. To be clear, this isn’t to say that sexuality and gender are conscious choices that people can simply change at will at any time, nor is it to say that sexual orientation and gender identity have no genetic or biological basis; rather, it’s just that sexuality and gender can be more dynamic across the lifespan than you might think.

For this episode of the podcast, I took a deep dive into the science of sexual and gender fluidity with Dr. Lisa Diamond, a Professor of Psychology and Gender Studies at the University of Utah. She is author of the incredible book Sexual Fluidity.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

How common is sexual fluidity, and what does it look like?
What is gender fluidity, and how is it similar to or different from being nonbinary or transgender?
How do sexual and gender fluidity intersect? Are people who are fluid in one way more likely to be fluid in others?
Where does fluidity come from, and is it possible that fluidity (as opposed to stability) is the really the norm?
Are essentialist arguments, such as the “born this way” concept, necessary and helpful in the pursuit of LGBTQ+ rights?
What does it mean to have a “sexual orientation?” Is it inherently about sex/gender-based attractions? Or do we all have multiple orientations, with sex/gender being just one type of orientation?

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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 56: Where Do Sexual Fetishes Come From? Oct 15, 2021

Show notes

People can develop sexual fetishes for virtually anything. In fact, it’s not a stretch to say that if you can think of it, somebody probably has a fetish for it. So why is that? How do fetishes develop in the first place? Are some people more likely to develop them than others? And what role does porn play in all of this?

For the answers to these questions, I spoke with Dr. Jim Pfaus, a researcher in behavioral neuroscience in the Department of Psychology and Life Sciences at Charles University in Prague and with the Czech National Institute of Mental Health. Jim has conducted some fascinating research on animals that sheds important light on how fetishes might develop in humans.

His studies show that rats can learn to associate sex with everything from articles of clothing to specific odors (including very aversive smells). Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

What does it mean to have a sexual fetish?
How can learning theory help to explain the development of fetishes?
How do people’s early sexual experiences affect their sexual turn-ons?
Are some people more predisposed to developing fetishes than others?
In what ways does pornography shape our sexual interests?
How has porn (and what kind of porn people find to be arousing) changed over time?

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 55: Sex, Pleasure, Consent, and the Intimate Lives of Teens Today Oct 08, 2021

Show notes

Today’s youth are facing a complicated landscape when it comes to sex. They live in a world where sex is all around and porn is more easily accessible than ever before, but they’re not being educated about it and they’re receiving a lot of mixed messages. So are young adults getting what they want out of sex and relationships? What do their intimate lives look like? And what can parents and schools do to better support them?

For insight into these questions, I spoke with Peggy Orenstein, author of The New York Times best-sellers Boys & Sex and Girls & Sex. Her TED Talk, “What Young Women Believe About Their Own Sexual Pleasure,” has been viewed over 5 million times.

Peggy conducted in-depth interviews with dozens of teens and college students about their intimate lives for her recent books, and the results were fascinating. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

How do today’s youth define the terms “sex” and “virginity?”
Young women today have been empowered in many ways compared to generations past, but that doesn’t seem to be translating into sexual empowerment. Why is that?
Why does pleasure need to be a central focus of sex education? How does sex ed need to change more broadly?
How are young people today navigating conversations around consent?
How do young men feel about “hookup culture?” Is hookup culture disenfranchising everyone?
How are LGBTQ youth faring in all of this?
How can parents have more effective and productive conversations about sex with their kids?

To learn more about Peggy and her work, visit peggyorenstein.com

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 54: How To Have Better Sex And Deal With Sexual Difficulties Oct 01, 2021

Show notes

Sexual difficulties are common, but people tend to have a really hard time talking about them. In fact, people often find it easier to avoid the subject entirely, which can lead sex to disappear in a relationship. So how can people start healthy and productive conversations about sexual difficulties? What can they do to address them? And whether sexual difficulties are present or not, how can you have better sex?

For insight into these topics and more, I spoke with Jeff Abraham, CEO of the company Absorption Pharmaceuticals. Jeff built a successful tech company that allowed him to retire early—but he later emerged from retirement to run a sexual health company founded by urologist Dr. Ronald Gilbert, who developed a product called Promescent designed to help men last longer in bed.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

We’ve all heard that “sex sells,” but does it really? What are some of the challenges of running a sexual health and wellness company?
How long does it usually take men and women to orgasm? What is the size of the orgasm gap?
What counts as “premature ejaculation” anyway?
Why is it that premature ejaculation sometimes gets misdiagnosed as erectile dysfunction?
How do you bring up the topic of sexual difficulties with a partner, whether you’re the one experiencing a difficulty or your partner is?
Is there anything that men can do to last longer in bed?
What do both men and women need to know about having better sex?

To learn more about Jeff and his company, visit promescent.com

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 53: Everything You Think You Know About Sex Is Probably Wrong Sep 22, 2021

Show notes

Have you ever heard that there are 8,000 nerve endings in the clitoris, or that the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis? These statements appear as facts in countless social media posts, news articles, and books. There’s just one problem with them, though—they’re wrong. It turns out that so many of the things we think we know about sex and that we hear repeated over and over just aren’t true.

That’s why this episode of the podcast is all about what we don’t know about sex. To help us set the record straight, I spoke with Dr. Lisa Dawn Hamilton. She is an associate professor of Psychology at Mount Allison University in Sackville, where she teaches about sex, gender, and neuroscience. Lisa Dawn also has a fantastic podcast called Do We Know Things? that corrects common misconceptions about sex.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

What is the G-spot, really?
Do we actually know what the average penis size is?
Can men have multiple orgasms, too?
Does peeing after sex really reduce your risk of getting urinary tract infections?
What is the real purpose of pubic hair, and how is public hair removal related to STD risk?
How do hormones like testosterone and oxytocin really affect us?
How do the brains of monogamous and non-monogamous men differ?
What’s the connection between sexual arousal and disgust? Why does disgust sometimes become a sexual turn-on?

To learn more about Lisa Dawn and her work, visit doweknowthings.com

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

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Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 52: Sex Fantasies Around The World Sep 17, 2021

Show notes

Do people from different cultures have different sexual fantasies? Or are there common threads that run through our fantasy worlds? As someone who studies fantasies, these are questions that have long interested me—and now I have some answers!

During my recent study abroad course on sex and culture in Amsterdam, I met the author of the largest study of erotic fantasies in the Netherlands. He traveled to festivals with a caravan and interviewed hundreds of people about their sexual turn-ons. Needless to say, I had to do a podcast with him!

My guest today is Lucas De Man, an artist, TV host, and CEO of the company New Heroes. In collaboration with psychologist Mariëlle de Goede, he published a book titled Yes, Please! about his work on Dutch sex fantasies, which they are currently expanding to include a worldwide audience.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

How do you get people to open up about their sexual fantasies during an interview? And how can you be sure they’re being honest?
What do our sexual fantasies tell us about ourselves?
How are sexual fantasies similar around the world? How are they different?
Why do Americans seem to be more into cuckolding than Europeans?
Where do our sexual fantasies come from?
What happens when celebrities share their sexual fantasies in front of a live audience? How do you get them to open up, and how does the audience typically respond?

Learn more about Lucas here.

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 51: American Hookup – Inside College Hookup Culture Sep 10, 2021

Show notes

When did college “hookup culture” actually begin? Who is it helping, and who is it hurting? And what can people today do to navigate hookup culture and casual sex in healthy ways?

For the answers to these questions, I spoke with Dr. Lisa Wade, an associate professor of sociology and gender and sexuality studies at Tulane University. She is also the author of the book, American Hookup: The New Culture of Sex on Campus.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

What does the term “hookup culture” actually mean?
When did college hookup culture first begin?
Who is hookup culture helping? Who is it hurting?
What does hookup culture look like for the LGBTQ+ community?
How can young adults more successfully navigate hookup culture?
How do you have good and healthy casual sex?
How has the COVID-19 pandemic changed hookup culture?

To learn more about Lisa and her work, visit her website at lisa-wade.com and check out her book, American Hookup.

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 50: How Many Reasons Are There To Have Sex? At Least 237 Sep 03, 2021

Show notes

Why do humans have sex? To many, the answer to this question might seem obvious—but the truth is that our reasons for sex are many and varied, and some of the reasons people cite might very well surprise you!

For this episode of the podcast, I spoke with Dr. Cindy Meston, a Professor of Clinical Psychology and Director of the Female Sexual Psychophysiology Laboratory at the University of Texas at Austin. She has studied humans’ motivations for sex extensively and is the author of the book Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Motivations from Adventure to Revenge (and Everything in Between).

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

What are the most common reasons humans have sex?
What are the least common reasons?
How do reasons for sex differ across men and women?
Do our reasons for sex change as we age?
Why is it that genital arousal and psychological arousal don’t always line up? And what does this mean?
What effect does Viagra have in women? Are there any women for whom it can offer therapeutic benefits?
How does sexual arousal change sexual decision-making?
How do you build and maintain a career studying sex when there’s very little research funding for it?

To learn more about Cindy and her work, visit her website at mestonlab.com and check out her book, Why Women Have Sex!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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