Sex and Psychology Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 99: Who Should Pay On The First Date? Jun 07, 2022

Show notes

When you go out on a date with someone, who should pay for it? When two people of the same sex or gender go out, they’ll often split the bill—but when it’s a man and a woman, more often than not, the man pays. So there’s still a lot of chivalry present in dating between men and women, despite the fact that we have increasingly moved away from traditional gender roles and norms in many ways. So what’s up with that? How do men and women really feel about this issue? And how can be better navigate financial issues and dating?

For today’s episode, Dr. David Frederick returns. David was a previous guest on Episode 97 (Keeping Passion Alive in Long-Term Relationships). He is an Associate professor of Health Psychology at Chapman University in Southern California, and has taught more than 70 courses on human sexuality and gender. In this show, we explore some of David’s research on money and dating in the context of men and women going out together. Some of the questions we get into include:

When men and women go out on a date, who usually pays? And how do things change the longer they date each other?
How often do women offer to pay when they go out with a man? How do they feel if their date refuses the offer?
How do men feel about women paying for dates?
Do people feel that paying for dates and sexual activity are linked in any way?
Where does this expectation that men should pay on the first date come from? Is it cultural? Evolutionary?
Is there a better way to navigate this fraught issue?

To learn more about David, check out his website here and visit his Google Scholar page here for more information on his research.

Thanks to the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 98: Navigating Sexuality and Religion Jun 03, 2022

Show notes

The impact of religion on our sex lives is complex—it is neither uniformly negative nor positive. The way that religion affects sexuality really depends upon how sexuality is situated within a given religion. But when religiosity and sexuality conflict, how do you navigate this? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. How do sex therapists balance religious and sexual identity in the therapeutic process when conflicts arise? Is it possible to resolve this in a way that doesn’t require sacrificing one or the other?

Dr. Eric Sprankle returns for this episode (he was a previous guest on Episode 96: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation). Eric is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He is also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist. Some of the topics we explore in this show include:

How often do people seek sex therapy for issues relating to religiosity, and what kinds of issues are they usually experiencing?
How do you balance religious identity and sexual identity (or desire) in the process of sex therapy?
How can we make sex education something that is more inclusive of religious diversity?
In what ways can religiosity have a positive impact on sexuality?
If you’re struggling with issues of religiosity and sexuality, how can you find a therapist who is affirming of both?

Check it out! To learn more about Eric, visit his website at drsprankle.com and follow him on Twitter or Instagram @DrSprankle

Thanks to the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 97: Keeping Passion Alive in Long-Term Relationships May 31, 2022

Show notes

When you’re feeling that intense passion in the early stages of a relationship, having great sex is usually pretty easy. However, those feelings don’t tend to stick around very long. It’s normal for passion to begin fading after a year or two. But it doesn’t have to disappear entirely. It’s very much possible to get the spark back–and keep it going–with a little bit of effort. So let’s talk about how to do it!

For today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. David Frederick, an Associate professor of Health Psychology at Chapman University in Southern California. Dr. Frederick has taught more than 70 courses on human sexuality and gender. Some of the questions we explore include:

What typically happens to sexual frequency and satisfaction over time in long-term relationships?
Why is trying new sexual activities crucial to boosting passion? And what kinds of novel activities have the biggest impact?
How many new things do you need to try sexually in order to experience a boost in passion?
Are the factors that predict sexual satisfaction the same for lesbians and heterosexual women? What about for gay versus heterosexual men?
What can lesbians teach heterosexual women about closing the “orgasm gap?”
Besides trying new sexual activities, what are some other tried and true ways of reinvigorating passion in a long-term relationship?

To learn more about David, check out his website here and visit his Google Scholar page here for more information on his research.

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 96: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation May 27, 2022

Show notes

Masturbation is something that most people do, but many of us have a complicated relationship with it. For example, some people are under the impression that masturbation is an unhealthy or even “addictive” activity. Given that we’re in the midst of Masturbation Month, now seems like the perfect time to set the record straight on solo sex and tell you what you really need to know about it.

My guest today is Dr. Eric Sprankle, an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and the co-director of the Sexuality Studies program at Minnesota State University, Mankato. He is also a licensed clinical psychologist and AASECT-certified sex therapist, and author of the forthcoming book, DIY: The Wonderfully Weird History and Science of Masturbation.

Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

How long have human beings been masturbating?
What makes masturbation in humans unique compared to other species that do it?
Where did this idea that masturbation is unhealthy come from?
What kinds of masturbation “cures” were used in the past to discourage this behavior? (This is some weird and wacky stuff!)
Is there any truth to the idea that masturbatory abstinence can improve your health or boost testosterone?
Is masturbation really an “addictive” behavior?
Can women really become “addicted” to their vibrators?
How can we develop a healthier relationship with solo sex?

Check it out! To learn more about Eric, visit his website at drsprankle.com and follow him on Twitter or Instagram @DrSprankle

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 95: The Psychology Behind Forced Sex Fantasies May 24, 2022

Show notes

Have you ever fantasized about being ‘forced’ to have sex? If so, you’re not alone. Fantasies about being taken against one’s will (also known as ‘ravishment fantasies’ and ‘consensual non-consent fantasies’) are actually quite common. But just how many people report having had them? And why? That’s what we’re going to be exploring in today’s episode.

I’ll be sharing five examples of forced sex fantasies that have emerged in my research to illustrate what these fantasies tend to look like, and also to explore the psychology behind them. To help me put this show together, Rose Caraway returns to narrate the actual fantasies. Rose is a writer, editor, and publisher who runs the Kiss Me Quick’s Erotica Podcast. She also served as the narrator for Dr. David Ley’s amazing book, Insatiable Wives, which was the subject of Episode 70 of this program.

The fantasies we dive into in this show come from my book Tell Me What You Want, and they include:

Ravished By My Lover
Kidnapped and Forced to Have Sex
Animalistic Sex With an Alpha Male
Banged By the Bachelorettes
Taken By a Warrior Princess

I walk you through the main themes behind each of these fantasies and the common threads that unite them, while also considering similarities and differences in how these fantasy scenarios play out for men and women. I also discuss who is most likely to have fantasies of this nature and why. This is a fascinating episode. Be sure to check it out!

Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for being sponsors of this episode!

The Handy, made by Sweet Tech, is an automatic stroker designed for self-pleasure. Pair it with your sleeve of choice to mimic realistic sensations of different partnered activities with precise speed and stroke control. Visit https://link.thehandy.com/sexandpsych-1 to learn more and use my exclusive discount code (sexandpsych) to get 10% off your order.

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 94: Uncommon Sexual Fantasies – Tentacles, Monsters, And Cows, Oh My! May 20, 2022

Show notes

As someone who studies the science of sexual fantasies, every time I think I’ve heard it all, I discover something new. Human beings are endlessly inventive and flexible when it comes to their sexuality, which means that our fantasies are sometimes truly fantastical and may reflect things that wouldn’t even be physically possible in reality. While these fantasies may strike many people as “strange” or “weird,” however, a deeper analysis of them reveals that they aren’t so unusual after all. They’re actually just creative variations on the things that turn most of us on.

In this episode, we’re going to explore four uncommon sexual fantasies I’ve encountered over the course of my research and consider the psychology behind them. To help me put this show together, I invited Rose Caraway to narrate the actual fantasies that my participants provided. Rose is a writer, editor, and publisher who runs the Kiss Me Quick’s Erotica Podcast. She also served as the narrator for Dr. David Ley’s fantastic book, Insatiable Wives, which was the subject of Episode 70 of this program.

The fantasies we dive into in this show come from my book Tell Me What You Want, and they include:

The Human Cow (or HuCow)
The Human Doll
Getting Eaten Alive (Vorarephilia)
Taken By Tentacles

I walk you through the main themes behind each of these fantasies and the common threads that run through all of them. I also discuss who tends to have more of these fantastical fantasies and why. This is a truly fascinating episode you’re not going to want to miss. Check it out!

Thanks to the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for sponsoring this episode!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 93: Tips For Having The Best Sex Ever May 17, 2022

Show notes

When it comes to sex, we could all benefit from a few pointers because great sex is usually something we have to figure out on our own. On previous episodes of the show, we’ve talked about things like expanding your definition of sex, learning how to communicate what you want, and building up your sexual self-confidence. We’re going to take it a step further today and talk about some of the finer details. We’re going to explore how you can get even more pleasure from several specific sexual activities, from masturbation to oral sex to intercourse to kink.

I am joined once again by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and host of the Love and Libido podcast. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

How mixing up your masturbation routine can unlock new sources of pleasure and enhance partnered sex.
How to have better oral sex.
How to make penile-vaginal intercourse more pleasurable and increase the odds of mutual orgasm.
How to have comfortable and pleasurable anal sex.
How to make role-play fun and enjoyable instead of stressful and awkward.
What you need to know about sharing and acting on sexual fantasies.
Why it’s important to step out of your comfort zone from time to time.

Check it out! To learn more about Emily, visit her website at emilyjamea.com As a special deal for listeners, Emily is offering 50% off her online sex ed workshops (available on her website) with the coupon code: HALFOFF

Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and Promescent (promescent.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

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Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 92: How To Get In The Right Headspace For Sex May 13, 2022

Show notes

One of the keys to great sex is being in the right headspace and allowing yourself to be totally immersed in the experience. If you’re not fully into it, it’s easy for your mind to start wandering and to get distracted. Divided attention can make it hard to stay aroused and to reach orgasm. So how can you get in the right mental space for great sex? That’s what we’re going to be talking about today.

We’re going to be discussing a mental state called flow and share practical tips for getting into this state of mind so that you can have the best sex of your life. I am joined by Dr. Emily Jamea, an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and host of the Love and Libido podcast. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

What does it mean to be in a state of “flow?”
How is flow similar to or different from practicing mindfulness?
How can being in a flow state enhance sexual satisfaction?
What is the role of flow in kinky sex?
Do some people naturally have an easier time getting into flow states than others?
How can you open yourself up to experiencing flow during sex?
How can flow boost sexual desire and help people to deal with sexual difficulties?

Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and The Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Jonathan Raz (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 91: Sex and Love When You Have Anxiety, OCD, or Depression May 10, 2022

Show notes

Relationships are hard for everyone, but they can be especially hard when you’re living with a mental health issue such as depression or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). Psychological struggles can heighten the anxiety around sex, dating, and intimacy in ways that can make relationships feel inherently unsatisfying, even hopeless. But there is hope! Today, we’re going to explore how mental health issues can pose unique relationship challenges, but also consider practical tips and tools for overcoming them.

I am joined by Allison Raskin, a mental health advocate and New York Times bestselling author. Her latest book is titled: Over-Thinking About You: Navigating Romantic Relationships When You Have Anxiety, OCD, and/or Depression. Some of the topics that we explore include:

How do you even bring up the subject of mental health with someone you’re dating or in a relationship with?
How can you tell whether something you’re worried about is a valid relationship concern vs. a symptom of your disorder?
How do you take care of both your mental health and your relationship at the same time when some mental health treatments carry sexual side effects?
How can you learn to be “in the moment” during sex and block out distracting thoughts?
How can you make online dating less anxiety-inducing?
How can you handle breakup in healthier ways?
How can you be a supportive partner to someone who has mental health struggles?

To learn more about Allison, visit allisonraskin.com. Also, be sure to check out her latest book Over-Thinking About You and follow her on Instagram @emotionalsupportlady

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 90: The Rise of Male Full-Frontal Nudity and Prosthetic Penises May 06, 2022

Show notes

Until very recently, the sight of a penis in film or on television was a rarity. And when it happened, it was a big deal. The promise of even a fleeting glimpse would overshadow everything else. For example, remember when Gone Girl came out? It seemed like all anyone could talk about was Ben Affleck’s member. Today, however, penises seem to be popping up everywhere, and Hollywood keeps upping the ante. Case in point: there’s a scene in Euphoria featuring nearly 30 dongs. So what’s up with that? What’s behind the rise of male full-frontal nudity on screen?

That’s what we’re going to be talking about today. We’re also going to discuss why most of the penises you see are actually prosthetics, and you’re going to learn how the sausage gets made. Literally. I am joined by Matthew Mungle, an Academy Award winning artist specializing in Make-up Effects and Prosthetics. With over 250 film and television projects to his credit, Matthew is regarded as one of Hollywood’s top masters of makeup effects illusion. Odds are, you’ve seen his work–and maybe even some of the penises he’s created. Some of the topics we explore include:

Why male full-frontal nudity is a growing trend.
The first time Matthew was ever approached to make a penile prosthetic.
Why most of the penises we see on screen are prosthetics.
How producers decide what a prosthetic penis will look like for a given actor/character.
How prosthetic penises are made (it’s both an art and a science!).
Whether prosthetic penises are contributing to unrealistic perceptions of penis size.
Average penis size and whether size really matters anyway.

Check it out! To learn more about Matthew’s work, visit his website at wmcreationsinc.com and check out his IMDB page to learn about the many amazing film and TV projects he has contributed to.

Thanks to The Handy (thehandy.com) and Promescent (promescent.com) for sponsoring this episode!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Legit Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest and Deon Black on Unsplash.

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