Sex and Psychology Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 109: Hurts So Good – Why We Seek Pain On Purpose Jul 12, 2022

Show notes

A masochist is someone who derives pleasure from the experience of pain. While we often think of masochism as being a purely sexual thing, it’s actually a pervasive part of everyday life. From the long-distance marathon runner to the person who covers their entire body in tattoos to the person who douses all of their food in hot sauce, there are countless examples of people intentionally inflicting pain on themselves—and getting some pleasure out of it at the same time. So why is that? We’re going to do a deep dive into the psychology of masochism today.

I am joined today by Leigh Cowart, a researcher and journalist whose work has appeared in The Washington Post, New York Magazine, Popular Science, and more. Leigh’s latest book is titled Hurts So Good: The Science and Culture of Pain on Purpose. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

Why do so many of us choose to suffer? Are we all masochists to some degree?
Why do humans experience pain anyway? What is the adaptive value of it?
Why is pain sometimes sexually arousing? How can pain enhance sex?
Why do some people seek out more intense pain than others?
Where does all of the shame and stigma around masochism (particularly sexual masochism) come from?
When can pain-seeking behavior be healthy, and when can it become a problem?

To learn more about Leigh, follow her on the socials @voraciousbrain and be sure to get a copy of her book Hurts So Good

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.

The Kinsey Institute’s (kinseyinstitute.org) 75th anniversary is underway and you are invited to join in the celebration! Follow @kinseyinstitute on social media to learn more about upcoming events. Also, please consider a gift or donation to the Institute to support sex research and education. Click here to donate.

***

Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram.

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Chris Sowa (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 108: Navigating Consensual Non-Monogamy Jul 08, 2022

Show notes

Survey studies find that about 1 in 5 people say they’re been in some type of sexually open relationship before. Despite how common consensual non-monogamy is, research, data, and information on it is pretty limited. And, oftentimes, it’s not addressed at all in psychology training programs. So, for today’s episode, we’re going to explore what you need to know about sexually open relationships.

I am joined by Dr. Michelle Vaughan, an Associate Professor in the School of Professional Psychology at Wright State University. She is the co-editor of the soon to be released Handbook of Consensual Non-Monogamy. Some of the topics we explore in this episode include:

What attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy look like today and how they’re changing.
The key strengths of those who practice consensual non-monogamy.
How to identify and lean into your own strengths in order to improve your relationship(s).
Tips and advice for navigating sexually open relationships.
How to know if consensual non-monogamy is right for you.
Common issues that arise in sexually open relationships (e.g., jealousy) and how to deal with them.
How to find an affirming therapist if you’re in an open relationship.

To learn more about Michelle and her work, visit her Google Scholar page, follow her on Twitter @MichelleDVPhd, and check out the Handbook of Consensual Non-Monogamy (or order on rowman.com and use discount code RLFANDF25 to save 25%).

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 107: Understanding Your Attachment Style Jul 05, 2022

Show notes

Everyone has an “attachment style,” which refers to the way that you tend to interact and connect with others in intimate relationships. Psychologists have found that attachment styles are reliable predictors of so many different things in our sex and love lives, from the content of our sexual fantasies to how we respond in conflict situations to our reasons for pursuing sex. A better understanding of your own (and your partner’s) attachment style can potentially help you to cultivate a more fulfilling intimate life. So that’s what we’re going to be talking about today.

Dr. Nicole McNichols is back to give us the guide to attachment theory. Nicole is an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington and she has a popular Ted Talk titled “Students On Top: A Vision for 21st Century Sex Education.” Some of the topics we explore include:

What are the main attachment styles that exist?
Where does your attachment style come from, and can it change over time?
How does culture influence attachment style?
How can you identify your own attachment style?
How can you identify the attachment style of someone you’re dating?
What should you do if you and your partner have discrepant attachment styles?

To learn more about Nicole, visit nicolethesexprofessor.com and follow her on Instagram @nicole_thesexprofessor

Thanks to FirmTech (myfirmtech.com) and the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 106: Top, Bottom, Side – What’s Your Position? Jul 01, 2022

Show notes

Men who have sex with men often identify themselves in terms of sexual positions, such as top, bottom, or versatile to reference the role they prefer to take during anal sex. But what if none of those terms describe you? Today’s episode is all about the growing number of gay and bisexual men who identify as “sides,” or people who aren’t into penetrative anal sex.

I am joined by Dr Joe Kort, the clinical director and founder of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health in Royal Oak, Michigan. He is a board-certified clinical sexologist and author of four books. Joe was the first person to coin the term “side” and his efforts to raise awareness of it recently led the sex and dating app Grindr to start offering it as an option for identifying oneself. Some of the topics we explore in this show include:

How do gay and bisexual men define “sex?” And what are their most common sexual behaviors?
Why is there so much pressure to identify yourself as a sexual position in the gay community?
Why are some men into anal sex while others are not?
What does it mean to identify as a “side?” And how many gay and bisexual men are sides?
How can people be more respectful of others who have different sexual activity preferences without shaming them for wanting something different?
What are the positive and negative aspects of identifying yourself as a sexual position?

To learn more about Joe, visit joekort.com and follow him on the socials @drjoekort

Thanks to the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 105: Less Sex, More Kink – The Sex Lives of Today’s College Students Jun 28, 2022

Show notes

College students tend to be stereotyped as a pretty horny bunch who are hooking up every chance they get. But are today’s college students really having more sex than ever? That’s what we’re going to be exploring in this show. Are they as sexually active as popular media depictions suggest? How is the sex that they’re having changing? And what do college students today need to know about navigating and cultivating healthy sexual and romantic relationships?

I am joined by Dr. Nicole McNichols, an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychology at the University of Washington. Nicole is the co-author of the textbook Human Sexuality In A Diverse Society and she has a popular Ted Talk titled “Students On Top: A Vision for 21st Century Sex Education.” Some of the topics we explore include:

What are students’ sex education experiences like before they get to college?
How many college students today are sexually active? Are they having sex earlier or later than previous generations?
How is the sex they’re having different? Why is choking during sex on the rise?
How are college students being influenced by porn and the #MeToo movement?
Why do college students seem to find dating and relationships to be so challenging?

To learn more about Nicole, visit nicolethesexprofessor.com and follow her on Instagram @nicole_thesexprofessor

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 104: Women’s Sexuality And Desire Jun 24, 2022

Show notes

Bestselling author Lisa Taddeo has put women’s stories front and center in all of her books. Her work explores how women navigate sexual desire, sexual trauma, and sexual double standards–and it is utterly fascinating and captivating. For today’s episode, I sat down with Lisa to talk about these prominent themes in her writings and what they tell us about women’s sexuality.

Lisa’s first nonfiction book, Three Women, was an instant #1 New York Times bestseller and is currently in production as a series at Showtime with Shailene Woodley set to star. This book takes a deep dive into the sex lives and relationships of three American women who live in different parts of the country.

Following Three Women, Lisa published her debut fiction novel Animal, which tells the story of Joan, a woman who has endured a lifetime of cruelty from men—and eventually forges the power to strike back.

Lisa’s latest book, Ghost Lover, is a collection of short stories that feature a series of women who are searching for—and frequently struggling to find—fulfillment in their lives.

We discuss all three of Lisa’s books, including where she drew her inspiration, the major themes (including why sex and death run through all of them), and some of the sexist criticism her work has evoked.

To learn more about Lisa, visit lisataddeo.com and follow her on Instagram @lisadtaddeo

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Chris Sowa (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 103: The Laws of Attraction Jun 21, 2022

Show notes

Why are we attracted to some people, but not to others? The answer to this question is surprisingly complex, but research has uncovered a set of scientifically-backed principles that can pretty reliably facilitate sexual and romantic attraction. This episode will help you to better understand those “laws” of attraction, including how you can leverage them to enhance your own appeal to others.

Sexuality educator Ashley Weller returns for this show. Ashley is a professor at Chapman University who runs a podcast called What’s your Position? that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore include:

Is attraction something that is usually instantaneous, or does it tend to grow over time?
We often hear that “birds of a feather flock together.” But we also hear that “opposites attract.” So which one is true? Are we attracted to similarity or differences?
What’s the best way to start a conversation with someone you’re attracted to? Do pick-up lines actually work?
Can playing hard to get make you appear more desirable?
How similar or different are men and women when it comes to what they want in a partner?
If you find yourself attracted to the “wrong” type of person, how do you break that pattern?

To learn more about Ashley, check out her podcast What’s your Position? and follow her on Instagram @whatsyourpositionpodcast

Thanks to the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Chris Sowa (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 102: The Truth About Fake Orgasms Jun 17, 2022

Show notes

In the classic film When Harry Met Sally, Meg Ryan famously said, “Most women at one time or another have faked it.” And she was right. But it turns out that women aren’t the only ones who do this. Fake orgasms are surprisingly common across genders. So why do so many people feign the peak of pleasure? And is pretending to climax a good thing or a bad thing? That’s why we’re going to be talking about today.

I am joined by Ashley Weller, a professor at Chapman University in Southern California who teaches human sexuality courses. Ashley has more than 15 years of experience in sex education and runs a podcast called What’s your Position? that tackles issues surrounding sexuality, relationships, life, and love from a comedic yet educational point of view. Some of the topics we explore in this show include:

How many people have ever faked an orgasm before?
Why do people fake orgasms, and do men’s and women’s reasons for doing it differ?
What do people actually do when they pretend to climax?
Is it always a bad idea to fake orgasms?
What should you do if you’re been faking it but don’t want to do that anymore?
What should you do if you suspect your partner of faking orgasms?

To learn more about Ashley, check out her podcast What’s your Position? and follow her on Instagram @whatsyourpositionpodcast

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Chris Sowa (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 101: Want Better Sex? Get Better Sleep Jun 14, 2022

Show notes

Human beings spend about one-third of their lives asleep. We do this because sleep is an essential body function. When we don’t get enough sleep, we suffer in a lot of ways–and that includes our sex lives. That’s why today’s episode is all about the important connection between sex and sleep. As you’ll learn, getting better sleep is one of the keys to having better sex. But it’s also the case that having a great sex life can help you get better sleep. The connection between sleep and sex goes both ways!

I am joined by Dr. Michele Lastella, a senior lecturer at Central Queensland University and a global leader in sleep research in athletes. He has 70 peer-reviewed publications related to sleep, sport psychology, psychological well-being and more. Some of the topics we address in this episode include:

Why do we often feel tired or sleepy after sex?
How does sex impact the quality of the sleep we get? Does masturbation affect sleep in the same way?
Does the impact of sex on sleep depend on whether or not orgasm occurs?
Does sex affect sleep in the same way for men and women?
How do both temporary and chronic sleep disruptions (such as sleep apnea and insomnia) affect our sexual health and well-being?
Why do penile and clitoral erections occur during sleep?
What are some practical tips for getting better sleep so that you can have better sex?

Check it out! To learn more about Michele, check out his Google Scholar profile and follow him on Twitter @sleeppsyc

Thanks to the Kinsey Institute (kinseyinstitute.org) for sponsoring this episode!

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: LEGIT Audio (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 100: Fascinating Facts About Sex Jun 10, 2022

Show notes

It is hard to believe, but we have reached episode 100 of this podcast! So how do you celebrate 100 episodes of a sex show? I’ve put together a compilation featuring some of the most fascinating and mind-blowing facts about sex we’ve covered so far. Specifically, we’re going to revisit my interviews with Hallie Lieberman (Episode 21), Dr. Ina Park (Episode 39), Dr. Lisa Dawn Hamilton (Episode 53) and Dr. Nicole Prause (Episode 60).

Some of the things we cover in this episode include:

Why butt plugs used to be marketed as a cure for asthma (no joke!).
Whether sexually transmitted infections can hijack our brains and change our sexual behavior in order to make them more infectious.
How a study of a cow’s clitoris became the basis for what we think we know about the human clitoris.
Why some people get sick every time they orgasm.

Thank you for supporting the show! If you listen on Apple Podcasts, please consider a paid subscription to Sex and Psychology Premium to help keep the show going and to receive new episodes ad-free. Cheers to the next 100 episodes!

Thanks to Promescent (promescent.com) and the Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (modernsextherapyinstitutes.com) for being sponsors of this episode!

This podcast was made on Zencastr. Join Zencastr today and receive 40% off of their professional plan for 3 months with my exclusive discount code: sexandpsych

***

Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Chris Sowa (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Sex and Psychology Podcast

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected