Sex and Psychology Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Episode 239: Kinky In The Digital Age Nov 07, 2023

Show notes

Ever since people started having sex, they had kinky sex. While kink itself is not new, kink practices have certainly changed over time, as have people’s opportunities to explore and experiment with kink. This is especially true in the modern digital era. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how technology has opened up new ways for people to explore their kinks, whether technology itself is making us kinkier, and where kinky interests come from in the first place.

I am joined once again by Liam Wignall, a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Brighton. He specialises in research on kink/BDSM, looking at the impact of internet and community engagement on identity formation. His book, Kinky in the Digital Age, explores how kinky gay and bisexual men navigate kink in contemporary times with an in-depth analysis of the pup play subculture.

Some of the topics we explore include:

How is kink defined?
How far can we trace back the kinky history of the queer community?
How has the mainstreaming of kink (i.e., the Fifty Shades phenomenon) changed the research on kinky sex?
Why at a time when heterosexuals are more openly embracing kink do we see a lot of LGBTQ+ people trying to hide it? Why has kink suddenly become controversial at LGBTQ+ pride events?
Is technology making us kinkier?

You can check out our article on Liam’s recent publication here, and connect with him on Twitter/X here.

You can also get 30% of Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age through Oxford University Press with discount code: ASPROMP8

Thank you to our sponsors!

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The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University has been a trusted source for scientific knowledge and research on critical issues in sexuality, gender, and reproduction for over 75 years. Watch for presentations and papers from Kinsey Institute faculty and students at this month’s meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sexuality, which will be held in New Orleans. Learn more research and upcoming events at kinseyinstitute.org or look for them on social media @kinseyinstitute.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 238: Are Neurodiverse People More Likely To Be Kinky? Nov 03, 2023

Show notes

Some folks who frequent kink and BDSM spaces have observed that there seems to be a higher percentage of neurodiverse persons compared to other social settings. So is there actually a link between neurodiversity and kink? In today’s show, we’re going to dive into a recent study published in the Journal of Sex Research that looks at how neurodiversity, specifically in the form of autistic traits, is linked to engaging in the kink subculture of pup play.

I am joined by Liam Wignall, a Senior Lecturer in Psychology at the University of Brighton. He specialises in research on kink/BDSM, looking at the impact of internet and community engagement on identity formation. His recent book, Kinky in the Digital Age, explores how kinky gay and bisexual men navigate kink in contemporary times.

Some of the topics we explore include:

What does it mean to be neurodivergent? How prevalent is neurodivergence in the general population?
What does pup play look like and why are some people into it?
Why might there be a link between autism and kink in general?
What specifically about pup play might be appealing to neurodivergent individuals?
Why is there so little research on neurodiversity and sexuality?

You can check out our article on Liam’s recent publication here, and connect with him on Twitter/X here.

You can also get 30% of Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age through Oxford University Press with discount code: ASPROMP8

Thank you to our sponsors!

Earth and Salt offers a curated selection of sex toys, accessories, and gender expression gear to help you access your pleasure, your way. Visit Earth and Salt at earthandsaltshop.com, and use “Lehmiller” as the discount code for 15% off your next purchase.

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 60% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2344-lehmiller

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 237: How Women Feel About Anal Sex Oct 31, 2023

Show notes

There’s a lot of research out there on the subject of anal sex; however, surprisingly little of it has focused on how women feel about this activity. Fortunately, a large nationally representative study of women’s experiences with anal touch recently came out that sheds important light on the subject. In today’s show, we’re going to dive into the results and discuss how many women have explored anal stimulation, their preferred forms of anal touch, tips for experiencing more anal pleasure, and more.

I am joined once again by Dr. Devon Hensel, an Associate Professor of Research at Indiana University School of Medicine, who has led several national and international sexual health studies. Devon has expertise in sexuality across the life span, sexual pleasure, romantic/sexual relationships and solo and partnered sexual behavior.

Some of the topics we explore include:

How many women have engaged in some form of anal stimulation?
Why is it important to explore different forms of anal touch beyond penile-anal penetration?
What are anal surfacing, anal shallowing, and anal pairing?
Which forms of anal touch do women find to be most pleasurable?
What are some of the dos and don’ts of anal sex when it comes to pleasure and safety?

You can learn more about Devon here and read her full study on anal touch here.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

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Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 236: The Science of Squirting Oct 27, 2023

Show notes

Some women experience a large expulsion of fluid during sexual arousal or orgasm, often referred to as squirting. Although this is by no means a new discovery, the nature of the fluid, what it’s called, and where it originates in the body have been subject to much debate. So let’s talk about it! In today’s show, we’re going to explore the science of squirting by looking at results from a nationally representative survey on the subject. We’re going to discuss how squirting is different from female ejaculation, what we know about how and why it happens, how common it is, the surprising diversity in squirting experiences, and more.

I am joined by Dr. Devon Hensel, an Associate Professor of Research at Indiana University School of Medicine, who has led several national and international sexual health studies. Devon has expertise in sexuality across the life span, sexual pleasure, romantic/sexual relationships and solo and partnered sexual behavior.

Some of the topics we explore include:

How is “vaginal squirting” defined?
Where does the fluid involved in vaginal squirting come from?
How prevalent is squirting? How many women have experienced it before?
What are some of the various ways that a woman might experience squirting?
Is squirting something that every woman is potentially capable of?

You can learn more about Devon here and read her full study on squirting here.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 235: The Surprising Politics of Polyamory Oct 24, 2023

Show notes

Polyamorists tend to be stereotyped and portrayed in the popular media as pretty liberal bunch. However, it turns out that they’re actually quite diverse in their political views. This isn’t surprising when you start to trace the history of the modern polyamory movement in America, because what we see is that it actually has strong libertarian roots. In today’s show, we’re going to explore the fascinating (and surprising) intersection between polyamory and politics, including how libertarian science fiction writers in the 1960s helped turbocharge interest in polyamory.

I am joined once again by Christopher Gleason, who lectures at Kennesaw State University and is the Director of Academic Programs at the Georgia Coalition for Higher Education in Prisons. He lives in Atlanta and his latest book is titled American Poly: A History.

Some of the topics we explore include:

Who was Robert Heinlein, and what impact did his sci-fi book Stranger in a Strange Land have on American polyamory?
Ayn Rand is an author known for shaping right-wing thought, but her work was influential to polyamorists during the sexual revolution. What’s the story there?
How did a return to sexual conservatism in the 1980s lead to an organized polyamory movement?
Why is there a heated debate in the poly community about whether polyamory is about sex versus connection and spirituality?
Are individuals on the political left more likely to embrace polyamory as an identity than those with other political views?

To stay connected, you can find Christopher on Instagram @christophermgleason

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 234: The Evolution of Polyamory in America Oct 20, 2023

Show notes

Believe it or not, the term “polyamory” has only been around for a little over 30 years. However, while the name itself is still relatively new, the practice of it definitely isn’t. Although people were living polyamorous lives long before we ever had this name for it, the way people practice it has morphed and changed over time. So let’s dive into the long and fascinating history and evolution of polyamory in the United States.

My guest today is Christopher Gleason, who lectures at Kennesaw State University and is the Director of Academic Programs at the Georgia Coalition for Higher Education in Prisons. He lives in Atlanta and his latest book is titled American Poly: A History.

Some of the topics we explore include:

When did the term polyamory first enter the mainstream, and what were people calling it before that?
Who were the first people practicing something that looks like what we might call polyamory today?
How did countercultural religious movements in the 1960s and 70s shape the practice of ethical non-monogamy?
How did the advent of the internet impact the polyamory movement?
How have portrayals of polyamory evolved in the media, and how does this shape people’s views and attitudes towards it?

To stay connected, you can find Christopher on Instagram @christophermgleason

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2342-lehmiller

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 233: Your Brain On Sex (Essential Listen) Oct 17, 2023

Show notes

As I look back on all of the amazing guests and conversations we’ve had on this show, I’ve begun to curate a list of ”essential listens.” These are the shows that are often a sexual revelation because they get people to think about or understand their own sexuality in a new way. One of these essential listens is my “sex on the brain” interview with award-winning author Emily Nagoski from episode 48.

Emily wrote the bestselling books Come As You Are and The Come As You Are Workbook. She is also coauthor of Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Emily’s new book, Come Together, is currently available for preorder.

In our original conversation, we explored the brain mechanisms that underlie sexual response in a way that can help people to better understand their own sexuality—and why it might be really different from that of their partner. Some of the topics we discussed include:

What is the Dual Control Model of Sexual Response and why is it crucial to understanding our own sexuality?
Why do many people (but especially women) sometimes experience a disconnect between genital arousal and psychological arousal?
What’s the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire?
How can a better understanding of how our brains work unlock sexual pleasure?

To learn more, listen to our full conversation in episode 48 and check out Emily’s website.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 232: What To Do When Your Partner Is Kinkier Than You Oct 13, 2023

Show notes

I’ve received countless emails from people who have discovered that their partner has a kink they didn’t previously know about—and, now, they’re not sure what to do because they’re not into it. So what do you do when you’re a vanilla person and it turns out that your partner has a kinky streak? The fact that you both want different things from sex doesn’t have to mean the end of your relationship, so let’s talk about how to make it work.

I am joined once again by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani is also a Certified Sex Therapist and organizer of the upcoming Securing Sexuality conference. Her latest book is titled With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect.

Some of the topics we explore include:

For people who are worried that they’re “too vanilla,” what do they need to know?
How can people better navigate the strong feelings they might have when discovering a partner’s kink?
When partners have different fantasies and desires, how do you find common ground?
How can opening up a relationship help partners bridge a sexual desire discrepancy?
Is it always possible to make things work when partners want very different things from sex?

To learn more, check out Sefani’s website.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2341-lehmiller

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 231: Safe Sex in the Digital Age Oct 10, 2023

Show notes

From the rise of online dating, to internet porn, to sexting and cybersex, our intimate lives are increasingly digital. Although it’s undoubtedly great that we have these new ways to connect and explore our sexuality, we now need to content with a host of novel challenges, especially around issues of privacy and safety. Any time we explore our sexuality online, we’re leaving a digital trace. So who has access to this information? How do we keep it secure? Today, we’re going to talk about how to leverage technology to enhance our intimate lives while also staying safe.

I am joined by Stefani Goerlich, award-winning author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. Stefani is also a Certified Sex Therapist and organizer of the upcoming Securing Sexuality conference. Her latest book is titled With Sprinkles on Top: Everything Vanilla People and Their Kinky Partners Need to Know to Communicate, Explore, and Connect.

Some of the topics we explore include:

Why is cybersecurity such an important topic to discuss in relation to online sexuality?
What are some ways that technology can give our sexual and intimate lives a boost?
What can we be doing better to ensure our privacy and security in digital spaces?
How can we minimize some of the risks around AI and sexuality?
What kinds of challenges has the move to a digital economy created for sex workers, educators, and therapists?

To learn more, you can check out Sefani’s website. Also, if you’re looking for a “USB condom” (i.e., data blocker) like Stefani recommends, see here.

Thank you to our sponsors!

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Episode 230: How To Make Consent Sexy Oct 06, 2023

Show notes

Sexual consent is not as simple and straightforward as it might sound. It’s actually a complex and highly nuanced concept that means different things to different people and is communicated differently across contexts and relationships. In today’s show, we’re going to talk about how we can do better when it comes to obtaining consent, how to make consent sexy, tips for better sexual communication, and more.

I am joined once again by Dr. Eric FitzMedrud, a therapist specializing in relationship and sexual issues in the San Francisco Bay Area. His specialty is helping men improve their sex lives, and his latest book is titled The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex.

Some of the topics we explore include:

How is consent usually depicted in the popular media, and how does this line up with reality?
How can you go about obtaining consent without taking the excitement and spontaneity out of sex?
How has the language around sexual consent evolved in recent years?
Is it realistic to think that everyone will practice enthusiastic consent?
What is the three-step consent process?
What else should we be talking about when it comes to understanding and improving sexual communication?

To learn more, you can check out Eric’s website.

Thank you to our sponsors!

Expand your sexual horizons with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Enjoy a free trial today and get 40% off their yearly pass by using my last name – LEHMILLER – as the coupon code. Sign up now at: https://beducate.me/pd2340-lehmiller

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Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast!

Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

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