Relationships Let's Talk About It!

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42. What do men want in relationships Jun 04, 2019

Show notes

Vijay Director has provided coaching and consultation services for over 25 years and across a broad spectrum of specialized areas. From relationships and intimacy to sports performance, meditation, and business, he has had extensive experience in supporting men in need of guidance and emotional reassurance. An entrepreneur in the fields of natural living, therapy, as well as arts, health, and spirituality, Vijay also runs a non-denomination, non-profit learning center and has led support groups for men for three decades. Additionally, he is currently on the cusp of completing his first book.

Vijay joins me today to discuss the need for women to understand men's shame and feeling of inadequacy. We discuss the need for affirmative acknowledgment and appreciation as well as non-sexual physical contact as affirmation of love and support. We share our thoughts on the challenges that men face, particularly with regard to anger and healthy masculinity. We also discuss men's need for softness in complaints, as opposed to harsh criticism.

"Men are looking to be in relationships and be in spaces where they can avoid shame or have that shame healed in some ways." - Vijay Director

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Vijay's perspective on the most important thing that men are looking for in their relationships.
The varying physical needs of men, especially in different age groups.
The "touch-starved" and "touch-phobic" culture of men and how touch is misinterpreted and underestimated as a result.
The complexities, pre-requisites, and challenges involved in sexual intimacy.
The comedic notion of men as "bears with furniture," and the grain of truth behind it.
The nine ways anger comes out sideways and the physical ways it manifests in men.
The societal pressure that leads men to express sadness as anger.
How men can gently invite women to be with their sadness.
The reality behind men's feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
Balancing the roles of men and women in society and what men and women are asking from each other in modern-day relationships.
The definition of "owning the masculine," and how men's need for direct answers can lead to complications.
Resistance as a kneejerk response to change and why it takes time for men to determine how they really feel about it.
How a sudden surge of long-distance heartbreak led Vijay to an unexpected realization and ecstasy.
Insights on what happens to men whose needs grow with their relationships.

Resources Mentioned:

Courting a Woman's Soul by John Lee

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

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Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

41. HeartShare: Transforming the Inner Critic May 28, 2019

Show notes

Research shows that on average, we have about 60,000 thoughts a day. Ever wonder how many of those thoughts help us - and how many actually destroy us? Our inner critic serves the important purpose of being our protector, but what happens when we listen to it too much and allow it to take control of us?

And more importantly, how do we break out of that mindset when that happens?

Today, I share my thoughts on how to transform your inner critic and the way you think about it. I discuss our conscious and subconscious thoughts, and how our inner critic becomes deeply ingrained in us over the years. I share how our inner critic prevents us and our partners from seeing and appreciating our best selves, discuss the impact of our inner critic on our behavior and emotions, and explain how we can develop a belief system that counteracts that. I also share my own experiences with my inner critic and some exercises you can use to help you get over yours.

"Our inner critics are terrified that we're going to be hurt - and it wants to protect us." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

The primary function of our inner critic.
How our inner critic is shaped from childhood and how it is deeply ingrained in us as adults.
The danger of relying on your partner constantly to compensate for your inner critic.
How our inner critic sabotages us by convincing us that we're not worthy of love.
Having our inner critic work for us by giving it "another job description."
How a massage experience reflected my own struggle with my inner critic.
A simple exercise that involves writing to your inner critic with your non-dominant hand.
How to develop a belief system that outweighs your inner critic.
The inner critic manifesting through comparison, especially in sports.
The world as a giant puzzle and embracing the fact that we are pieces of it.
The various obstacles with my own self-esteem and how I handled these obstacles.
The most challenging exercise a human being can do.
How accepting our own flawed areas can help us accept and appreciate others as well.
The negative ways our inner critic manifests through our personality and how it buffers us from our own feelings.
An exercise involving asking ourselves where and how we can bring kindness and compassion to both ourselves and to our partners.
The right way to approach making - and learning from - mistakes.
Positive efficacy and going through memories of experiences that you've moved through challenges.
Why the inner critic should not be calling the shots - and who should be doing that, instead.

Let's Talk About It!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

40. HeartShare: The Dance of Intimacy May 21, 2019

Show notes

Whenever people talk about intimacy, their minds tend to drift automatically towards the sexual kind. However, there is so much more to intimacy than just the physical aspects — and the fact that so many people seem unaware of it means that now more than ever, it's important to talk about it. After all, it is only through openness and being willing to listen that we achieve true intimacy, whether it's with our acquaintances, our friends, our family, our significant others, and even ourselves. And so, before learning about how to handle and facilitate intimacy within our relationships, we must first understand what it is and what it requires.

Today, I share my thoughts on intimacy, focusing specifically on the need to be open and ready to listen with empathy in order to make it possible. I discuss the importance of being intimate with yourself, and how that opens the gateway to being intimate with the people you value most in your life. I share my personal experiences and stories regarding various kinds of intimacy over the years such as with clients, a colleague I hadn't spoken to for a while, my family, and even with my pet. I also share the crucial aspects of intimacy and listening with empathy, and why intimacy requires a certain level of courageousness before it can happen.

"That is what fuels intimacy: An open heart of compassion, of empathy, of being moved by the world and by each other." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Intimacy with others and with yourself.
The importance of being genuine before you can be intimate with yourself.
My recent interesting encounter with an old corporate colleague.
The people I meet during the course of my professional career, and how intimacy plays a role in those encounters.
Creating intimacy with your family, and its role in helping you be at peace.
The difference between physical intimacy and emotional intimacy.
How intimacy leads to our liberation.
My experience at a memorable and unique workshop experience with my cousin.
Taking risks to be intimate with others.
Embracing self-compassion and self-appreciation.
How my emotional bond with my father was forged through physical intimacy from a very young age and how it established the foundation for my perspective on intimacy today.
Our tendency to be passive listeners to our partners and how it becomes a barrier to intimacy.
The two crucial ingredients of listening with empathy.
Intimacy with animals and the feeling of connecting with another species.
The impact of being open to having an open heart and being vulnerable and present with your partner.
How the poem, The Invitation, helps couples who are unsure about the level of intimacy they desire.

Resources Mentioned:

Creating Extraordinary Intimacy in a Shutdown World - Michael J. Russer's TEDx Talk
The Invitation - poem by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

Let's Talk About It!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

39. Helping Men Learn to Connect with Women May 14, 2019

Show notes

Cathy Courtenay is a dating consultant for men. She uses her learnings from the art of circling to provide personal and spiritual guidance to men who want coaching in the dating and relationship world. Her experience with somatic bodywork and dance, combined with her expertise in marketing and parenting, have provided her with a unique set of skills that allow her to process human emotions and experiences, transforming them into valuable lessons for her clients.

Cathy joins me today to discuss vulnerability, presence, authenticity, self-awareness, and other aspects of dating that can help men better understand what women truly want. We discuss her philosophy and approach when it comes to dating and relationships and how our separate professions allow us to gain deeper insight into other people and learn to "fall in love" with their truths. We also share our insights on self-validation, the emotional barriers that prevent men from having meaningful relationships, and the biggest missteps men commit in pursuing and understanding women.

"In terms of masculine and feminine and our roles, we're in a different paradigm than we were even 10, 15, 20 years ago." - Cathy Courtenay

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How Cathy began her practice as a dating consultant for men.
The meaning of the practice of circling and what it entails.
Why getting to know somebody beyond the surface is a gift.
How Cathy's experiences with men inspired her to follow this track.
The process she follows in dating consultation.
The common mistakes men make in dating.
The concept of men having to "lead" in dating.
Attuning to someone's frequency, and how it provides a sense of safety.
How attraction figures into her line of work and how she deals with the possibility of her clients getting attracted to her because of the attention she gives.
How she brings a lot of herself into her work to be able to help her clients.
Her experiences growing up in South Africa in the thick of apartheid — and how that shaped her desire to put her energy into fighting injustice and teaching people how to be more open to love.
Self-validation and why people are scared to open themselves up and reveal what's inside.
How I teach my clients to deal with anger and shame through self-compassion.
The emotional barriers and shortcomings deeply ingrained in men that prevent them from having successful and meaningful relationships with women.
The importance of giving space for vulnerability and dealing with pain and suffering without trying to "fix" or change a person.

Connect with Cathy Courtenay:

Cathy Courtenay website
Facebook

Let's Talk About It!

Don't forget to visit our website, join us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling and Relationships! Let's Talk About It, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

38. Porn and Sexual Health May 07, 2019

Show notes

Joe Kort is a leading expert on sex and relationships. A psychotherapist, coach, and author who established his practice in 1985, he is a certified IMAGO Relationship Therapist and a licensed clinical social worker in the state of Michigan. He holds a PhD in Clinical Sexology and specializes in Gay Affirmative Psychotherapy. He is also the founder and director of The Center for Relationship and Sexual Health where he helps in improving the communication and relationship skills of heterosexual and LGBTQ individuals and couples through therapy and discussions.

Joe joins me today to discuss the topic of porn in relationships. We share our insights on how, within the context of a couple's relationship, it's not the porn that's problematic but the couple's outlook on it. We discuss erotic identity, how gay couples tend to be more open about sexual issues, and why all couples should be just as willing to discuss these issues. We also discuss the right time parents should start talking to their children about sex, as well as the various myths, half-truths, and pseudoscience that has become rampant because of society's refusal to discuss porn and sexuality.

"Sexuality and eroticism evolve, for men and for women. What turns you on today might expand to something different over time as you get older." - Joe Kort

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How the words we use to describe sexuality and genitalia highlight our unconscious or underlying feelings about sexuality.
How we can affirm sexuality in men's culture.
Why couples should be the ones to navigate their own ethical perceptions of porn instead of their psychotherapist.
The significant difference between how gay couples view porn versus how heterosexual relationships handle the subject.
The issue of infidelity in relationships.
How people correlate "sex addiction" and porn - and why sex addiction and porn addiction are unscientific myths.
The right approach to resolving porn-related conflicts in relationships.
The double standard in the way society views porn and erotic orientation.
The need for couples to have sexual health conversations, no matter how difficult they may be.
Why parents need to talk to their children about sex and porn.
What "ethical porn" is and the myths around "porn-induced erectile dysfunction."
How different countries and cultures have varying perspectives on conversations about sex.
What is sexual fluidity and why we need to have more conversations about it.
The evolution of sexuality and eroticism over time.
Scientific facts on how your brain responds to porn.

Resources Mentioned:

Erotic Empathy by Amanda Luterman (coming soon)
Emotional Infidelity: Is It Really Cheating?
Real Your Brain on Porn

Connect with Joe Kort:

Joe Kort and Associates

Let's Talk About It!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

37. Heartbreak: Getting Wacked By Love Apr 30, 2019

Show notes

Gregg Levoy is a frequent seminar leader who holds workshops in the faith-based, human-potential, educational, governmental, and business industries. He is a Passionate Living Expert who has penned bestselling books such as Vital Signs: The Nature and Nurture of Passion as well as Callings: Finding and Following An Authentic Life which has been named as one of the Top 20 Career Publications by the Workforce Information Group. He regularly shares his insights and expertise as a frequent contributor to Psychology Today.

Gregg joins me today to discuss his personal experiences in getting his heart broken and how he found an avenue to heal himself through writing. We share our thoughts on failed relationships, the different aspects of heartbreak, and how we should remember that we're not alone in feeling this kind of pain. We also discuss the various ways of moving on, how to face the pain instead of denying it, and how to keep in mind that there's always hope at the end.

"Our heartbreaks are part of our history. Don't try to dispose of it like you'd throw away a busted pot. The repair is part of the preciousness of it." - Gregg Levoy

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Heartbreak as the resume of rejected love.
How Gregg started a long-distance relationship and fell in love only for it to end eight weeks after moving to the same city she lives.
The stages he went through in the process of getting over the failed relationship.
The difficulty - and necessity - in abruptly ending communication with the other person in the failed relationship.
My own experience of waiting into the late hours of the night, over the span of months, for a call that never happened.
How watching movies and TV programs that speak to the pain of heartbreak can be a cathartic release.
The "altered state" we find ourselves in during periods of loss or heartbreak.
How I found myself dealing with joy and loss at the same time when I received news of my friend's death on my wife's birthday.
How writing helps through extended spells of heartbreak-induced sadness.
My own stories involving baseball, studying Japanese, and how a chance encounter gave me a new direction in life.
Helpful insights from a book on making sense of life changes.
Gregg's interesting chance encounter with his ex at a coffee shop… while he was on a date with someone new.
The Japanese art of Kintsugi, and how it relates to heartbreak.
How Gregg said no to the chance of reconnecting with his ex, and the thought process behind it.
Our parting thoughts on grieving a failed relationship and letting go.

Resources Mentioned:

Transitions by William Bridges
Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

Connect with Gregg Levoy:

Let's Talk About It!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

36. Understanding Racism: Relationships are at the Heart of This Work Apr 23, 2019

Show notes

Connie Burns has been a counselor for three decades, specializing in therapies focusing on trauma and the body. Residing in the Blue Ridge Mountains, she is extremely passionate about issues on racism and environment conservation. A combination of the current ideological disconnect in Western society and the ever-looming threat of climate change spurred her into action, as she now takes a more active role in leading discussions on shattering existing racist norms in American society.

Connie joins me today to discuss the inherent racism in Western culture, particularly in terms of white supremacy. We share our individual experiences with racism growing up and share our personal perspectives. We discuss how we process our thoughts and emotions revolving around racism, as well as the need for openness in order to successfully break down the socially erected barriers of skin color. We also discuss the importance of taking a stand in the face of racist practices and cultural inequality.

"It makes a difference when there are more people speaking up and saying, 'Yeah, this isn't right.'" - Connie Burns

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How Connie realized the need to become more politically involved around the time of the 2016 elections.
How her activism is rooted in her affiliation with Indivisible and how the progressive platform encouraged her to form a small activist group of her own.
The reality behind racism and why now, more than ever, the white race should start opening up about racial issues.
The impact of racism on medical research and how white men being the "prototype" is actually a destructive pattern.
The inherent problem in resorting to sniping at one another instead of trying to understand the other's position when it comes to discussions on 'woke ideologies.'
How Connie used her grief about the world's various issues to stay open and take an active role in resolving said issues.
How — and more importantly, why — white people must work on their resiliency towards being called out, opting to be curious instead of getting defensive when the other party gets offended.
How Connie's experiences while growing up in an integrated neighborhood in Indianapolis and being bullied helped shape her understanding of racism.
How my experience with "reverse discrimination" and being able to travel around the world has made me more comfortable with other races and aware of the inherent racism in all of us.
The reality that race doesn't actually exist beyond being a social construct, and how it was only created to maintain the status quo.
A secondhand account on how white people can and should stand up for the discriminated when racism happens right in front of them — and how that inspired me to do the same thing years later.

Resources Mentioned:

Join Us for The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples

Join Pripo and his wife, Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky, on Saturday, April 27, 2019, in Asheville, NC to learn the secrets of unlocking the Power of Appreciation in your relationships. Genuine appreciation, regardless of how simple or profound, has been proven to bring an immediate shift in the quality and closeness of loving relationships. The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples will teach you the necessary skills and fundamental process of enriching your relationship with your partner, deepening the connection, and enhancing the flow of positive.

To learn more about The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples, and to register, visit HeartShare Counseling & Consulting PC or call (828) 712-8398.

Let's Talk About It!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

35. HeartShare: Self-Compassion Can Improve Your Relationships Apr 16, 2019

Show notes

There is so much negativity and criticism rampant in the world today that sometimes, the idea of self-compassion feels like nothing more than a distant memory. Even though numerous studies have shown the connection between self-compassion and healthier interpersonal relationships, the notion of being less self-critical somehow proves to be challenging to uphold. With suffering as part and parcel of the human condition, how can we appreciate and develop our own capacity for self-compassion? More importantly, what does it mean to be self-compassionate in the first place?

Today, I discuss the meaning of compassion and how compassion for others differs from self-compassion. I discuss the necessary elements to develop compassion for others and the strength necessary to fight your own inner critic. I share how cultivating self-compassion can help your relationships by making you less reliant on your partner, how self-compassion can help us become better parents, and how our children could benefit from the examples we set. I share my experience of building my precious daughter's casket and how it enlightened me on the true connection between humanity and self-compassion. I also share the conscious efforts I make to be self-compassionate as well as the tools and techniques I use to accomplish this goal.

"Compassion is the first step to relieve suffering." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Understanding what compassion is, with respect to what we feel towards others.
The relationship between compassion and the Buddist's philosophy of human condition.
The importance of recognizing that suffering exists.
How cultivating compassion for yourself can help you have more compassion for others.
The problem with depending on others to take away our suffering.
The judgmental voice that exists in all of us and how positive self-talk does wonders for your self-compassion.
My experience with negative self-talk and how I transform my mindset to be more positive and self-compassionate.
How I use humor as a tool to nurture self-compassion.
Using the Hawaiian forgiveness mantra to forgive yourself for mistakes.
The importance of practicing and developing a habit of self-compassion.
A fascinating study on the impact of self-compassion in relationships.
The three main components of self-compassion.
The significance of being kind to yourself.
Why parents should give more slack to children and how it's different from going easy on them.
Strategies I use to practice self-compassion after making a mistake.
The story of when I built a casket for my infant daughter, River, and how the experience helped me understand the connection between self-compassion and humanity.
How being compassionate to yourself can help inspire your partner to take care of themselves as well.
Why it's important to bring down self-criticism with self-compassion.

Resources Mentioned:

Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff
The Secret to Love is Just Kindness

Join Us for The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples

To learn more about The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples, and to register, visit HeartShare Counseling & Consulting PC or call (828) 712-8398.

Let's Talk About It!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

34. Trust and Company Culture: A Conversation with a Former Fortune 200 CEO Apr 09, 2019

Show notes

Bill Morean is the former CEO and Chairman of a Fortune 200 company and a good friend of mine. After studying aviation from Western Michigan University, he briefly worked as a bush pilot in Alaska. In 1978 at the age of 22, after buying a majority stake in his father's company, Jabil, Bill became the CEO. Over 35 years under his leadership, the company grew from 90 employees at one facility with annualrevenue of $700,000 to a $17-billion organization with 100,000 employees at 60 facilities in 19 countries.

Bill joins me today to share stories of how he built a company culture rooted in trust and appreciation. We discuss his unique and personable leadership style and explain how the impact of trusting your employees creates a distinct company culture. We share several stories, some of which describes employees making mistakes - myself included - and discuss his perspective on handling those situations. We also discusshow he handled difficult decisions as the company leader such as letting go of employees that are long-term friends and addressing inter-organizational romantic relationships as well as his perspective on leaders 'being lonely at the top.'

"Don't try to be the 'rigid guy at the chalkboard' leader that you think you should be. Go be you." - Bill Morean

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Reminiscing on old times and my experience while working at Jabil.
How Bill led the company as a 'servant leader.'
Why he admired my decision to leave the company to pave my own path and career goals instead of resenting it.
How his leadership style enabled us to build a deeper friendship after I left the company.
The impact of deferring responsibilities onto others in your organization instead of facing challenges you, as the leader, should handle yourself.
How he approached the challenge of letting go of three employees that were his high school friends.
Why he felt joyful about 'passing the baton' when he retired.
Why character strength is crucial for leading a successful company.
The importance of trusting your employees to do their job and make mistakes without micromanaging them.
Why he believes balancing appreciation with direct, honest critiquing helps your employees receive the critique more easily.
The mistake I made during a customer presentation while working at Jabil and how his value in me as a person encouraged me to be comfortable and accountable for the mistake.
Examples of how he authentically appreciated his employees by feeding their strengths to help them achieve their goals.
Embracingthe 'human aspect' of inter-organizational relationships.
Why he believes 'feeling lonely at the top' depends on the relationships you build with your team.
How he naturally closed the gap between himself and his employees.
How he embraced the 'open door policy' in a large organization.
How he encouraged social connection between his employees and how it impacted the company culture.
How he coached his employees to be better in their role or to become better leaders.

Join Us for The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples

To learn more about The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples, and to register, visit HeartShare Counseling & Consulting PC or call (828) 712-8398.

Let's Talk About It!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

33. Managing Conflict in Partnerships Apr 02, 2019

Show notes

My wife, Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky is the founder of Artsy Goddess Studio, an upcycled clothing design business in Black Mountain. Yvonne empowers women to express themselves and helps them discover and connect with their unique authenticity as the host of women's gatherings at her home each month and through voice empowering workshops. In addition to her work with empowering women, she also works with me to co-facilitate couple's workshops designed to support couples and partners while helping them develop deeper connections and stronger relationships.

Yvonne joins me today to share a behind-the-scenes glimpse of our relationship and share how we manage conflicts and settle disagreements in our marriage. We dive into the origins of our unhealthy response patterns and identify the unhealthy behaviors that should be dealt with as soon as possible. We also discuss what to do when someone flares up and share several great strategies that will help you manage conflicts in your relationships and transform behaviors for the better.

"Our relationship is a living organism that has its own life. We have to nourish that." - Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How we handled conflicts in our relationship early on.
Why managing conflict is a better focus than resolving conflicts.
Why conflicts around money are often considered 'unresolvable'.
How my perspective on money - and its use - differs from Yvonne's and how we manage this conflict instead of trying to resolve it.
The importance of being curious and interested about your partner's perspective on a conflict or problem.
The impact of wallowing and getting stuck in a problem or conflict.
The importance of feeding positivity into your relationship - especially during a conflict.
The art of apologizing and how it helps you manage conflicts in your relationship.
The importance of taking accountability and responsibility for your mistakes during a disagreement.
An example of how we resolved a conflict related to my frequent mistake of putting dirty dishes with clean dishes in the dishwasher.
The importance of understanding the underlying issues that come up during a disagreement or conflict.
Why contempt is considered the number one poison in a relationship.
Why it's important for parents to model healthy communication during conflicts.
How Yvonne's upbringing led to how she used to manage and deal with conflict.
How to set safe guidelines around how you will manage disagreements in your relationships.
The difference between having an intense emotion around a problem or issue and yelling.
Why yelling is notan effective way to address problems, issues, or conflicts and what to do instead.
Strategies we use to calm down during a heated disagreement.
Why stress does not always equate being productive or working hard on your relationship.
The importance of couples encouraging each other to take care of themselves and nurture themselves.
Guarding yourself against the Four Horsemen.
What cross-complaining is and some examples.
Why you shouldn't bring up "deal breakers" during a heated conversation - unless you're truly ready to end the relationship.
Tips on how to ensure that you share the power, time, and space with your partner.
The power of touch and the right attitude when touching your partner.
Why it's important to talk about agreements on how you will fight and when to do it.

Connect with Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky:

Artsy Goddess Studio

Playful Voice Empowering Workshop

Embrace the power of your voice. Join my wife and facilitator, Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky, for the Playful Voice Empowering Workshop, an empowering experience to unlock your natural superpower in a safe group environment. Using gentle movement and supportive expressive techniques such as guided voice strategies, Yvonne takes you on an empowering journey - teaching you how to use your voice to quickly and effectively recenter and realign with your awareness, release emotional energy, and accelerate your spiritual connection.

Embark on an empowering inner-journey and discover the power of your voice. Join Yvonne for the Playful Voice Empowering Workshop, conveniently held at the beautiful Light Center dome in Black Mountain, NC.

Location: United Research Light Center in Black Mountain, NC.

Date:April 7, 2019

Time:2pm to 4pm

Fee:$15 - $20

All are welcome. No previous experience necessary. For more information, visit the Artsy Goddess Studio website.

Join Us for The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples

To learn more about The Power of Appreciation Workshop for Couples, and to register, visit HeartShare Counseling & Consulting PC or call (828) 712-8398.

Let's Talk About It!

Don't forget to visit our website, join us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling and Relationships! Let's Talk About It , and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Podcraft. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Podcraft.com

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