Relationships Let's Talk About It!

Latest Episodes:

72. Getting Along With Your Ex Dec 31, 2019

Show notes

Maureen McCarthy is a living testament that just because a marriage ended, it doesn't mean it has failed. When doctors told Maureen that she would die from a rare genetic illness, she ended her 10-year marriage with her husband, Bill. Yet, Maureen and Bill collaborate to maintain a relationship that's healthy for both of them and their children. She knew that the fear-driven stories that revolve around marriage and divorce aren't the only stories that exist. Carrying this insight with her, Maureen co-founded the Center for Collaborative Awareness, home of the Blueprint of We Collaboration Process, which helps people build and keep sincere and strong relationships.

In today's episode, Maureen and I discuss how to design a break-up or divorce process, why you should maintain a healthy relationship with an ex-partner, and how to get along with your ex after a break-up or divorce. We discuss why Maureen and Bill opted for a divorce and how they collaborated to maintain their friendship after their marriage ended. We also highlight how a healthy divorce affects children positively and underscore the power of purposefully designing a relationship.

"Relationships are like containers. You're going to be in a relationship as long as you can call it a memory. There's no real ending to a relationship. You have to morph the container to fit the new situation." - Maureen McCarthy

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Why Maureen and her ex-husband opted for divorce
Why Maureen decided to maintain a relationship with her ex-husband
How Maureen and her ex-husband collaborated for a graceful divorce
The effect of a graceful and healthy divorce on children
What is "lookback learning" and how to use it days after an argument
Maureen's childhood experience with her parents' divorce and how it affected her
The difference between the "safety" brain and the "connecting" brain
The power of designing a relationship with an ex-partner
How maintaining a good friendship with her ex positively affected Maureen's health
The importance of self-care, ownership, and accountability when transitioning into a divorce

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Maureen McCarthy:

The Center for Collaborative Awareness (use the code "Pripo" to receive 50% off the Blueprint of We document)
Maureen McCarthy on LinkedIn

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

Don't forget to visit our website, like us on Facebook at HeartShare Counseling, join our Relationships! Let's Talk About It Facebook group, and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Share your favorite episodes on social media to help others build better, more meaningful relationships.

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

71. What Is A Generous Conversation Dec 24, 2019

Show notes

Gregg Levoy is devoted to helping people find and sustain their passions in life. His books, Vital Signs: The Nature and Nurture of Passion and Callings: Finding and Following An Authentic Life, reflect his mission of helping people feel alive through their passion. He is currently a regular contributing author to Psychology Today and holds workshops and keynote presentations at organizations such as the Smithsonian Institution, the Environmental Protection Agency, and Microsoft. A former reporter and adjunct professor of journalism at the University of New Mexico, Gregg has mastered the art of generous conversations and understands how to hold space that lets people feel understood and validated.

In today's episode, Gregg and I discuss what it means to have a generous conversation. We discuss how curiosity interplays with listening to create great communication skills. We share tips and exercises to improve listening skills and explain how to set boundaries with talkative people. We also explain how generous conversations impact other people as well as share our own experiences with using listening skills and promoting a generous conversation.

"Communication is shared understanding and "co-mmunication." - Gregg Levoy

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

What makes a great conversation
Why curiosity is a key aspect of excellent listening skills
How to deal with people who talk too much
Why many people in relationships don't enjoy the conversations they have with their partner
Ways to practice conversational skills
Why people are scared of telling a talkative person to slow down
How to use supportive language in response to someone who had a bad experience
How to leverage silence in business negotiations
How couples can cultivate connection through silence and presence
How culture influences a person's tendency to be talkative
The impact of a generous conversation

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Gregg Levoy:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

70. HeartShare: Stonewalling -The Silent Treatment That Blocks Communication Dec 17, 2019

Show notes

There are times in a relationship when a person needs to set boundaries. It could be healthy to take a step back and soothe the emotions in times of anger. But while it's helpful to 'take a breather' during escalated conflict situations, refusing to engage or acknowledge the other person in the relationship is not healthy. Stonewalling, silent treatments, or sulking can be hurtful, and in some cases, manipulative. If there's no communication, there's no relationship.

In today's episode, I discuss stonewalling, the silent treatment, and the many reasons people resort to it. I explain how stonewalling can undermine communication and, eventually, the relationship itself. I explain why men stonewall more than women and the steps you can take to handle the silent treatment. I also share the steps I took to change my stonewalling habits as well as identify the ways a couple can handle conflict situations better.

"Stonewalling could be really detrimental to a relationship. Have the courage to mess up, to say things that are vulnerable, and to reach out for love." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

The definition of stonewalling and the reasons people resort to it
How stonewalling damages communication in relationships
A healthy way to temporarily withdraw from conflict situations
Why men stonewall more than women
How the silent treatment affects a relationship
How to re-engage with your partner after a stonewalling episode
The steps I took to change my stonewalling behavior
Effective ways to deal with the silent treatment
The ways stonewallers can change their behavior
How to build your empathy muscle
What emotional maturity is and how it helps a relationship
The signs of a healthy relationship

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

69. The Relationship of Business Through The Lens Of Giving Dec 10, 2019

Show notes

Thomas Doochin believes in humanity's inherent capacity for love and interconnectedness. At the age of 19, Thomas took this faith in humanity and, together with his peers from the University of North Carolina, co-created Daymaker. Through helping employees and their companies connect with under-resourced communities, Daymaker helps people realize and foster their intrinsic goodness and generosity. Now at 25 years old, Thomas continues to discover what it means to give and receive as he serves as Daymaker's messenger of kindness and love.

In today's episode, Thomas and I discuss giving and how it fosters goodness in business. We illustrate how his philosophy affects not only his work but also the people he works with. We share how to bring a message of love to business and explain how running a business can be a spiritual practice. We discuss the value of being authentic and connecting with joy. We also share how fostering generosity impacts your employees' wellbeing as well as benefits the company's abundance.

"Giving is our innate wiring as humans. Companies that help amplify those values in their people are building more vibrant, healthier workplaces." - Thomas Doochin

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Thomas' philosophy of giving and how it affects the people at Daymaker
How running a business can be a spiritual practice
What is Daymaker and how it helps employees connect with communities
How Thomas brings the message of love to a business or corporation
The importance of finding and connecting with joy
What is countertransference and how it can encourage authenticity
How authenticity inspires other people to be true to themselves
What causes the need for validation and how it affects the attitude of giving and generosity
How businesses can benefit from fostering their employees' generosity

Connect with Thomas Doochin:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

68. Food and Diet Can Influence Relationships Dec 03, 2019

Show notes

Mollie Curry is a 'true Earth' person. In addition to being a wilderness ranger, communitarian, permaculturist, home herbalist, and gardener, she is a natural builder who aims to help the planet and its people come to greater balance. Through her work, Mollie fosters more profound connections with herself, society, the Earth, and spirit. She was first involved in the art of natural building in the mid-90s when she moved to the Earthhaven Ecovillage in North Carolina.

After years of honing her skills and working as a ranger for the Forest Service, Mollie met her husband, Steve Kemble, at the Lama Foundation, a spiritual community in New Mexico. They eventually moved to Asheville, NC. where she combined her business, Earth Circle Natural Building, with her husband's to create MudStrawLove, an organization dedicated to training people in natural building techniques.

In today's episode, Mollie and I discuss how health and diet can affect relationships. We discuss what caused her addiction to sugar and what made her decide to choose a healthier diet. We discuss the cycle of shame that came with her sugar addiction and how that shame affected her relationship with her husband. We also discuss the psychological aspects of eating habits and why distressed couples eat unhealthy food.

"There are so many ways of being fed. If you feel an emotional eating impulse, you can go outside and take ten deep breaths. That's a way of being fed as well." - Mollie Curry

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

The factors that caused Mollie's addiction to sugar
How physical health affects psychological health
The shame cycle of sugar addiction
How self-deprecation impacts relationships
Mollie's turning point towards a healthier lifestyle
How emotional and social factors influence eating habits
Why couples in distressed relationships eat unhealthily
How emotional distress can impact the immune system
The power of appreciation in relationships
How our environment affects the way we eat
How cooking can be a chance for emotional connection and bonding

Connect with Mollie Curry:

MudStrawLove
Mollie Curry on Instagram
Email:molliehat@hotmail.com

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

67. Emotional Regulation Nov 26, 2019

Show notes

Corey Costanzo is a licensed addiction counselor and somatic therapist who seeks to help people achieve a higher flow in their life experience. Another area of expertise is bodywork, a mix of Esalen Massage, Craniosacral therapy, and Didgeridoo sound vibration healing. A kind-hearted person and good friend of mine, Corey helps the local community improve their lives by offering donation-based Restorative Yoga classes at Asheville Community Yoga and teaching somatic psychology at the Center for Massage. He co-owns Still Point Wellness, Asheville's premier spa featuring sensory deprivation float tank and world-class Esalen Massage, with his wife, Robin.

In today's episode, Corey and I discuss emotional self-regulation and how we can bring awareness and mindfulness to respond to our internal experiences. We explain how we can choose to self-regulate instead of allowing ourselves to be swept by emotions and share tools and coping techniques we can use to regulate. We explain how a parent's ability to regulate their emotions can affect their children's psychological development. We differentiate feelings from emotions and explain how this distinction can help us manage our emotions. We also draw from our personal experiences to share the steps we took to self-regulate in times of conflict.

"If we know how to self-regulate as a parent, then that's a form of wisdom we can pass on to our children." -Corey Costanzo

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Corey's definition of emotional regulation
How to access the choice to emotionally self-regulate instead of being swept by emotions
Using mindfulness and awareness practices to help emotional self-regulation
The biochemistry of emotions and where they are felt
How to distinguish feelings from emotions to regulate responses
Self-soothing and self-care methods to increase self-awareness
The importance of co-regulating a partner's emotional experiences
Why parents should develop emotional regulation skills and how dysregulation can affect childhood development
How attachment styles affect confrontation and conflict management in couples

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Corey Costanzo:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

66. Difficult Conversations Nov 19, 2019

Show notes

Ever since she felt a sense of urgency to find truth in the world at a very young age, Cathy Courtenay has lived a path of personal and spiritual growth. Inspired by this calling of truth, she studied Body-Mind Centering in her early twenties and later became interested in the potential of re-patterning and perceptual shifts, applying them into her bodywork practice. She took her pursuit of truth further by closely studying the Art of Circling with its founder, Guy Sengstock.

Cathy brings heart to everything that she does, whether it's into bodywork, dancing, leading Circling sessions in Asheville, NC, or maintaining relationships with small and large businesses in the marketing world. Her capacity to be in a wide range of human emotions and experiences, along with her deep listening skills, allows her to create safe spaces that help people be present in difficult moments.

In today's episode, Cathy and I discuss how to handle difficult conversations, whether it's in the office or at home. We explain why people avoid conversations and share tips on how to handle difficult conversations. We emphasize the value of bringing in curiosity and ownership and how they can impact communication. We discuss the reason people argue over text and why couples should avoid it. We also reflect on our personal experiences with having 'the talk' and highlight why it's essential to choose difficult conversations over the comfort of avoiding them.

"We put such a weight on positive emotions but it's important for us to be with whatever it is in the other person." – Cathy Courtenay

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Why people avoid conversations and what happens when they do
How relating to our partners is similar to building muscles
The barriers that make conversations difficult
What should be done before starting a difficult conversation
The values of self-regulation, empathy, and curiosity in having difficult conversations
How blaming the other person impacts conversations and relationships
How speaking in the heat of the moment affects the delivery of a conversation
The signs of emotional defensiveness
How to reduce escalations in challenging conversations
Why couples argue over text and why it should be avoided
The importance of choosing to have difficult conversations

Resources Mentioned:

Connect with Cathy Courtenay:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

65. Time Apart vs. Time Together: What's Healthy? Nov 12, 2019

Show notes

Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky is a talented artist who creates tapestries and paintings from a variety of materials. Born and raised in Denmark, she now runs her up-cycled clothes design business in the USA, Artsy Goddess Studio, in addition to facilitating voice-empowering workshops in Black Mountain, NC, co-facilitating couples' workshops with me, and hosting a women's circle in our home. Yvonne does many things outside of our marriage and remains open and curious about life. Doing her own things means she spends a lot of time outside of our relationship.

Spending time apart is as vital as spending time together in a relationship. After all, some space creates the spark. Yet many couples fear being apart, with one person (or both people) in the relationship worrying that the other might find something—or someone—better. And, at the other end of the spectrum, some couples make little time to feed their relationship. How do you find that sweet spot, that balance between being alone and being together?

In today's episode, Yvonne and I discuss how we navigated as a couple in the past 25 years and found the sweet spot between spending time apart and together in our relationship. We discuss the challenges we faced in maintaining that balance and how we managed it. We share how our relationship has changed through the years and how we adapted to those changes. We stress the importance of spending alone time, what we do when we're together and apart, and how couples can improve the time they spend together. We also share something that's unique to our relationship and why we maintain it.

"It feels so enriching to be away from each other for a day, two days, or more." – Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How relationship cycles affect time spent together and apart
Why every couple should explore and find out what works for their relationship
Should couples spend all their time together?
How talking to other people about your partner affects your relationship
The impacts of spending too much time together and away from each other
Why building trust is important to spend time away from each other
Why Yvonne goes away for three months every summerand how we stay connected while we're apart
What couples should do -and talk about -when they're together
Doing routine work as a couple
Reuniting and reconnecting after some time apart
Bringing curiosity in the relationship
The value of stepping into your own life and individuality

Resources mentioned:

Vital Signs by Greg Levoy
Eight Dates by John Gottman

Connect with Yvonne:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

64. A Conversation Between Two Young Elders Nov 05, 2019

Show notes

Gregg Levoy is a vibrant and passionate teacher, presenter, and author of the books Vital Signs: The Nature and Nurture of Passionand Callings: Finding and Following An Authentic Life. He is a contributing author and blogger for Psychology Today and has written countless articles for publications like The New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, and Christian Science Monitor. Gregg has appeared on multiple media channels like ABC-TV and CNN and frequently hosts seminars and workshops in the business, educational, governmental, faith-based and human-potential industries.

Today, Gregg and I discuss the difference between getting old and becoming elders and how we can intentionally and consciously become wise elders. We discuss the significant roles that mentoring and being a good role model can play in today's society and why there is a big need for good modeling and mentoring in the lives of the younger generation. We also discuss the significance of defining the kind of elder you want to be, regardless of your age.

"The beauty of mortality and what can turn people from 'regular older people' into 'elders' is the wisdom in mortality." - Gregg Levoy

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Characteristics of an elder.
Why eldering is a generational issue.
How the Huffington Post's video, What is old? changed the perspective of the younger generation about being an elder.
Why elders have better, more intimate sexual relationships than younger people.
How Gregg's vision quest changed him as he admitted, declared, and screamed out about being an elder.
The effect of society's lack of template for conscious eldering.
How Gregg naturally entered an elder role as he opened up to a woman who was afraid of failure.
Why eldering is not a matter of age.
How the realization of getting older allows us to step up, be more alive, and show compassion and understanding to others.
Where the superpower of eldering comes from.
How the reminder of having a "Used By" date impacted Gregg.
Why he looks highly at people who are not afraid of death.
How the story of Toni Morrison impacted Gregg and the way he presents his views on mortality.
What the "clarifier" is in people's lives.
How Gregg helps people reengage with their own passions.
How being diagnosed with only six months to live can liberate people.

Connect with Gregg Levoy:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

63. HeartShare: Curiosity Can Improve Your Relationships Oct 29, 2019

Show notes

When you put two people together - people who grew up with different values and belief systems, who lived out different customs and principles - the natural outcome of this human partnership can be both fascinating and frustrating. Each person's unique experiences can either build up or tear down relationships, depending on whether the people involved would choose to judge or be curious about the other person's experience. If you take the time to be curious, you would be amazed about how it could change the level of your relationships for the better.

Today, I share how your curiosity builds up your relationship with your partner and those around you. I discuss how curiosity allows you to reexamine the conflicts in your relationships as you stay away from assuming, concluding, and judging the other person. I also share the different ways you can ask your partner, "How's your day?" as well as how my own curiosity led me to bring a certain level of freshness and newness into my relationships.

"Wondering and curiosity creates fertile ground to create open discussions." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Why couples have conflicting recollections of how a particular event happened.
The one thing that can improve the conflicts that couples have.
The result when couples form incorrect assumptions of what's going on with the other person.
How a scene in the movie City of Angels shows the perfect example of being curious about your partner's experience.
The reason why breakups in relationships happen, according to research.
One of the most sincere ways to inquire about your partner's day.
What a "Gotcha" moment is and why it's unhealthy to have them in relationships.
Examples of questions of curiosity.
How to make other people feel cherished by you.
How to cultivate a curious mind.
The different, interesting ways my friend trains his curiosity to see the world from a different perspective.
The process that can help you move out of conflict faster than any other tool presented out there.
How my adventure in Asheville allowed me to bring more novelty in my life.

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

Relationships! Let's Talk About It is produced by Auxbus. You can create your own great podcast - faster and easier - at Auxbus.com

Our TOPPODCAST Picks

Follow Us

Stay Connected

Relationships Let’s Talk About It!

Related Podcasts

Links

Stay Connected