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102. Leading With Love, Humor & Employee Autonomy Jul 28, 2020

Show notes

Trusting employees is crucial to the growth of a company. Whether you're leading a Fortune 500 company or a three-person podcast production company that operates remotely, you need to foster good relations by giving employees autonomy and freedom. That's the wisdom of Kate Astrakhan, an audio engineer and technical podcast producer. She is the founder of Podcast Network Solutions, a podcast post-production company that testifies her love of storytelling and audio broadcast. Through her company, Kate demonstrates what it means to be an empowering leader whose actions are based on faith and values systems.

In this episode, Kate and I discuss how she leads her business and the people she works with. We explore how appreciation can encourage positive behavior and how giving autonomy and freedom empowers their genius. We describe the role of trust in business relationships and emphasize the value of helping employees through tough times. We also examine the impact of letting employees work on what they love and encouraging employees to grow in their area of genius.

"Let your team be the mayors of their world. Empower them to rule their area of genius in service to clients and company." - Kate Astrakhan

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

The fear of going out of the box
The best thing about podcasting for Kate
The impact of giving employees autonomy to make decisions
How encouraging employee development and growth benefits a business
The role of trust in allowing employees to flourish and its relationship with reliability
How Kate uses her value systems as the foundation of everything she does
The power of emotionally supporting employees
Motivating individuals in a team and directing workers to let them do what they love
How appreciation can magnify the behavior you want to see from an employee
Why Kate decided to start a business and become her own boss
Kate's advice to business leaders who want to motivate their employees
The pitfall of leaders who micromanage their team
Producing a podcast as a birthing process and personal practice
How trust in a business partnership can foster innovation, especially in a crisis like COVID-19

Related Content:

Connect with Kate Astrakhan:

Podcast Network Solutions Website
Podcast Network Solutions on Twitter
Podcast Network Solutions on Facebook
Podcast Network Solutions on LinkedIn
Email: socialmedia@podcastnetworksolutions.com

Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, email HeartShares@yahoo.com or visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

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And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

101. HeartShare: What Can You Do To Change Your Partner? Jul 21, 2020

Show notes

So often, couples come into my office wanting to change their partner. They highlight how their partner is doing 'this' and not enough of 'that,' as if they're returning a defective item and want a refund. Yet, so rarely does change in our partners happen when they're forced or nagged to do it - at the very least, they'll only feel forced, controlled, and disrespected. And in trying to change our partners, we forget one fundamental thing: that change must start from within.

In this episode, I discuss the essential things you need to practice to inspire change in your relationship. I explain why you need to think about what you would consider red flags before you commit to a relationship and why you need to avoid focusing on your partner's negative characteristics. I share some of my experiences with my wife where we were inspired to change as individuals and reveal the role of respect in bringing about change in relationships. I also explore how appreciation can foster growth and encourage couples to reach their fullest potential.

"That's where change can happen. A safe, vulnerable environment where couples can cultivate themselves in their relationship." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Relationship red flags and non-negotiables
Influencing the change you want to see in your partner
The wisdom of older people on committing to relationships and marriage
Avoiding looking at our partners as DIY improvement projects
The differences between complaining and criticism and how they spill over into other areas of the relationship
Fostering positive growth in our partner through first accepting them for who they are
How criticism and blame takes a partner further from growth and change
The importance of introspecting over criticizing and blaming a partner
Why it's necessary to know yourself and your needs before committing to a relationship
How focusing on fundamental differences and challenges discourages a relationship's connection
The need to verbalize what a person wants in a relationship and focus on transformation and change
Why change needs to come from ourselves first before they occur in our partners

Related Content:

The Power of Appreciation

Resources Mentioned:

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, email HeartShares@yahoo.com or visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

100. Couples Appreciation Jul 14, 2020

Show notes

If a relationship is a garden, what is the number one thing you could do to make it thrive? You might think it's sex, but the number one relationship booster is appreciation. Appreciation is the most potent tool couples can use to cultivate their relationship with each other, their friends, and their family. My 25-year-long relationship with my wife, Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky, has grown through mindfully and intently expressing our appreciation.

Rainbow is a brilliant artist, designer, and founder of the Artsy Goddess Studio whose practice of appreciation - not only in her relationship with me but with all of the people around her - has grown and blossomed like the flowers in her garden.

In this episode, Rainbow and I explore how appreciation has defined and deepened our 25-year-long relationship. We share how we began to consciously practice appreciation and how couples can establish appreciation as a practice. We discuss how consistently and meaningfully expressing appreciation can nip the bud of affairs in relationships and explain how a couple can escape the blame game through cultivating appreciation. We also illustrate how appreciation can magnify the potential in people as well as share an example of how Rainbow and I express our appreciation for each other.

"Appreciation expands and grows. Plant their seeds and see them bloom into flowers." - Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How appreciation made a profound difference in our relationship
Why appreciation is the most essential tool couples have to maintain and strengthen their relationship
What a HeartShare Appreciation is and the different levels of appreciation
The importance of expressing appreciation as soon as you feel it
Cultivating appreciation as a practice in the relationship
The value of knowing and communicating how you want to be appreciated and what you want to be appreciated for
Why it's okay to appreciate your partner for the same things
How we began to bring appreciation as a practice into our relationship
The challenge of receiving kindness and appreciation from other people
Appreciation as a tool to affair-proof a relationship
John Gottman's ratio of positive and negative interactions
Getting out of the relationship criticism loop through the power of appreciation
How appreciation makes us more open and accepting of challenges, accountability, and responsibility in relationships
Deepening our connection with our son by modeling appreciation

Related Content:

Connect with Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, email HeartShares@yahoo.com or visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

99. The Importance of A Personal Practice Jul 07, 2020

Show notes

Many of us maintain daily practices. They bring us to a state of a balanced and stable mind. For some, that practice is yoga or meditation, while for others, it could be writing morning pages or creating art. For Corey Costanzo, it's doing didgeridoo meditation sessions. Corey - a colleague and long-time friend of mine - is a master didgeridooist who has been playing the instrument for over 20 years. For over 100 days since the COVID-19 pandemic started, Corey has been hosting 20-minute didgeridoo meditation sessions at Still Point Wellness on Facebook.

Corey is a licensed massage and bodywork therapist, a licensed addictions counselor, somatic experiencing practitioner, and co-owner of Still Point Wellness, a premier Esalen Massage and Salt Water Floatation spa in Asheville. By transforming his morning routine with the didgeridoo to a shared experience with an online community, Corey continues to realize the connection between cultivating personal practices and wellbeing.

In this episode, Corey and I discuss the importance of personal practices. We differentiate routine from cultivating a personal practice and illustrate how our relationships can benefit from the latter. We describe how bringing curiosity and mindfulness into our practice can bring us to a deeper understanding of ourselves. We also explore the overwhelm and guilt people feel when they fail to follow-through on habits and practices as well as share advice on how we can cultivate a daily practice.

"Personal practice is the antidote to a co-dependent relationship. I fill myself with what brings me joy and from there, I meet my partner." - Corey Costanzo

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

A didgeridoo meditation with Corey
Our relationship with our personal practice and how they affect us and our relationships
How Corey found his connection with the didgeridoo and how he taught himself to play it
The difference between a routine and a personal practice
How mindfulness can bring a deeper self-awareness
The art of breathing and recognizing the connection between breath and anxiety
The benefits of breathing through your nostrils and how breathing through the mouth can negatively impact our health
Transforming the Relationships: Let's Talk About It! Podcast from routine to personal practice
How podcasting has affected my relationship with my wife, Rainbow
The importance of having an interest or hobby outside of your relationship
Going back to our personal practice for self-care, self-soothing, and self-regulation
Learning more about ourselves through diving into personal practice
The overwhelm and guilt that comes with trying to maintain a daily practice and how to cope with them
Identifying the link between curiosity and mindfulness

Related Content:

Resources Mentioned:

Breath: the New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor

Connect with Corey Costanzo:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, email HeartShares@yahoo.com or visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

98. HeartShare: Is Love A Choice Or A Feeling? Jun 30, 2020

Show notes

It's a question I've encountered in my practice so many times: is love a feeling or an action? Is it both or more of one than the other? If love is a feeling, is it possible to feel it without taking actions that reflect it? If love is a choice, how do we choose to love our partners, friends, and family over many years of challenges? These are all profound and important questions, for they reflect how we show up in our relationships.

In this episode, I discuss whether love is a choice or a feeling and explain why love is a constant action we do every day with our partner. I describe why falling in love is different and illustrate how it's easier to foster connection and attraction at the beginning of a relationship. I share the story of a friend who lovingly took care of his mother, despite his mother's behavior towards him. I also explore the different ways we can show love to our partners and how the power of appreciation has enhanced my relationship with my wife over the many years we've been together.

"We have to show love, not just feel it. We can feel love, but we choose to love every day and every moment." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Why love is an action
How we don't choose who we are attracted to but can choose with whom we stay in love
The feeling of falling in love, the courtship stage, and how we choose to maintain the spark
The work involved with deciding to share a life with a partner
Why we shouldn't aim to change our partner
The power to choose your words, your actions, and your perception of your partner
Choosing to love another begins with choosing to love ourselves
Giving ourselves the chance to be our best selves and the kind of people we want to be
How our childhood upbringing affects our perception of what love means
Changing your attitudes towards your partner's quirks and celebrating their uniqueness
Examples of how we can show our love to our partner
How the power of appreciation brings the value of love higher and eases challenging times

Related Content:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, email HeartShares@yahoo.com or visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

97. HeartShare: Why Is It Hard To Receive Kindness? Jun 23, 2020

Show notes

"It is better to give than to receive." That's an adage we've all been taught. While giving is indeed a gracious act, we're not taught how to receive it - which is equally noble. To fully experience, appreciate, and receive kindness is a gift we give back to the giver. Yet, we sometimes struggle to accept gestures of kindness and, in this struggle, we even think that we're not worthy of generosity. But no matter who you are, where you're from, or what you did, you are worthy of receiving kindness.

In this episode, I discuss the difficulties we face in receiving acts of kindness, help, and generosity. I illustrate the vulnerability that comes with accepting a gesture of kindness and how we tend to negate appreciation by pointing out our flaws. I describe how I recently struggled with fully experiencing kindness from my son and share my observations of couples who have difficulties accepting appreciation. I also explain how some characteristics, like perfectionism and self-doubt, can hinder us from receiving kindness and gifts from our loved ones as well as share my advice on how you can practice receiving kindness.

"It doesn't matter what your history is. Down to your core as a human being, you are worthy to receive kindness." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Why and how we tend to deflect or avoid receiving gestures of kindness and appreciation
What it feels like when your kindness and gifts aren't well-received
The vulnerability that comes with accepting a gesture of kindness
Why we need to liberate ourselves from the feeling of obligation when receiving gifts
Receiving appreciation by taking in deep breaths
My recent struggle with receiving an act of kindness from my son
How fully receiving and appreciating a gift or kind gesture is a gift to the giver
Examples of verbal responses to gifts and kindness and how to practice them
How perfectionism and control issues can prevent a person from fully receiving an act of kindness
The self-doubt that impedes us from accepting appreciation and how all humans are worthy of kindness
How the inability to receive kindness can handicap a relationship
Reframing our responses to kindness and focusing on the giver's intent

Related Content:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, email HeartShares@yahoo.com or visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

96. The Importance of Apologies Jun 16, 2020

Show notes

An apology, meaningfully and thoughtfully given, transforms. It transforms us, empowering us to take ownership of our actions and behavior. It transforms relationships between couples, paving the way for love and intimacy. It transforms relationships between peoples, giving them the courage to take responsibility for the past and standing up for racial equality and justice.

These are lessons I keep learning in the life I share with my wife, Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky. Rainbow is an artist, fashion designer, and founder of the Artsy Goddess Studio. Together, Rainbow and I continue to hone our skills in the art of apology. We consistently learn about the truths of apologies and forgiveness, whether it's from our daily interactions with each other or from social and human rights movements like the Black Lives Matter movement.

In today's episode, Rainbow and I discuss why apologizing is as essential in relationships as appreciating. We illustrate how upbringing and social and cultural environments can affect our attitudes toward taking responsibility and asking for forgiveness. We reveal the foundation of giving meaningful and profound apologies and underscore the role of empathy in this foundation. We also share how we apologize to each other and explain how apologizing brings connection and healing.

"A happy marriage is between people who are willing to apologize and forgive." - Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

The value of asking for forgiveness in today's social climate
How important and impactful apologies have been in our relationship
Why we emphasize apologizing as much as appreciation in committed relationships
How Rainbow used to find apologies dreadful but now sees it as an opportunity for connection
Why the inability to apologize is a source of dysfunction in relationships
How apologizing paves the way for understanding, intimacy, and empowerment
The pillars of giving a profound and meaningful apology
The importance of waiting to be ready before apologizing
Why an apology shouldn't come with defending or explaining a behavior
How culture, upbringing, and social environments create negative behaviors around apologizing and taking responsibility
Creating a bridge for connection by apologizing first
Why learning to receive an apology is as important as giving it
Sharing feelings of hurt, discomfort, or shame without disconnection and how to respond to its expression

Related Content:

Connect with Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, email HeartShares@yahoo.com or visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

95. Exploring Our Racial Biases Jun 09, 2020

Show notes

It is a heavy time in America. Viruses are taking the nation by storm - and not just the ones that cause disease. I was young when the Detroit riots in 1967 broke out. Some 50 years later, we still have the same issues: African-Americans are still being oppressed and assaulted by police. Racism is a prevalent issue that all of us need to discuss and resolve. We need to step up our game in addressing the racial prejudice deeply ingrained and institutionalized in our society.

For white people, a part of that means confronting what it means to be white, a question Mana Vermeulen-McLeod is dedicated to answering. Mana is a natural builder, social activist, and life coach. Born in Holland, Mana is a generational European-American who came to the U.S. about 15 years ago. She is committed to confronting her whiteness through education and understanding profound questions about the privileges that come with being a white woman.

In this episode, which was recorded many months ago, Mana and I discuss witnessing our whiteness, white privilege, and how we should tackle racism as white people. We describe how racism is institutionalized in our society and share our experiences with racism and diversity. We underscore the need to teach children about racial prejudice and explain how racism is not going to die on its own. We also discuss how books can help us learn more about racism and prejudice and highlight how we can support each other in unlearning racism.

"We need to think of that deep healing: how are we going to own what our forefathers did? That's a huge piece nobody wants to do." - Mana Vermeulen-McLeod

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

The Racism 101 class that sparked Mana's interest in issues about race relations
Looking at racism from the perspective of what it means to be white
Our experiences growing up with racism and diversity
How we all live in a racist society and the institutionalization of racism
How white people can tackle racial prejudice by looking into themselves
Book recommendations on unlearning racism and prejudice
How books can help us learn about racism and white privilege
Mana's experiences growing up in a segregated environment
What colorism or shadism is and a controversial Dutch cultural heritage
Why we need to talk to children about racism
Why we need to step up our game when it comes to racism and diversity
Looking at history and ancestry to address racial prejudice
Supporting each other in unlearning internalized racism

Related Content:

Resources Mentioned:

Witnessing Whiteness: The Need to Talk About Racism and How to Do It by Shelly Tochluk
White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism by Robin DiAngelo
White Awake
Me and White Supremacy Workbook by Layla Saad

Connect with Mana Vermeulen-McLeod:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

94. Practicing Self Care In Your Relationships Jun 02, 2020

Show notes

In cultivating a loving relationship, practicing self-care as individuals is as essential as co-creating the relationship itself as a couple. The journey to our inner individual worlds helps us maintain a healthy sense of self that will spring the wellbeing we can bring to our relationship. My wife, Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky, is a self-care inspiration. She is a fashion designer, artist, and the founder and owner of the Artsy Goddess Studio. As a creative, Rainbow's artistry not only manifests in the up-cycled garments and tapestries that she creates but also in how she practices self-care and maintaining a connection with herself.

In today's episode, Rainbow and I discuss the role of practicing self-care as individuals in a relationship. We share how our parents practiced self-care while we were growing up and how we, as parents ourselves, maintained our self-care activities while raising a young child. We explain how we prioritize and make time for self-care activities, especially during the pandemic. We also discuss the impact of practicing self-care, both as individuals and couples, and underscore how staying connected to ourselves helps bring more balance in a relationship.

"We need to stay the individuals that we are while we merge into the relationship that we co-create." - Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How we learned about self-care, alone time, and communication at the Esalen Institute
Why we should communicate our need for alone time and self-care practice
How self-care brings back self-worth, self-love, and self-esteem
Self-care through creativity and artistry
The importance of prioritizing and making time for self-care
Rainbow's self-care activities during the pandemic and how free-flow writing lifted her spirits
Self-care for parents raising young children and why maintaining a spotless house takes a lower place in Rainbow's priority list
The role of parents in teaching children about self-care
Maintaining connections and spending time with friends as a form of self-care
How prioritizing self-care and self-soothing help bring our best selves in our relationships
Challenges and unrealistic expectations in self-care and why it's not selfish
The power of supporting and encouraging self-care in a relationship

Related Content:

Connect with Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, email HeartShares@yahoo.com or visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

93. HeartShare: Men And Emotional Honesty May 26, 2020

Show notes

When your partner asks you about what you're feeling, what's your typical response? Do you attempt to change the subject or joke around? Freeze for a while? Or maybe start blaming your partner? Everyone can find it challenging to open up their inner world of emotions - but a lot of men find it particularly difficult to do. It's understandable why the topic of emotions and feelings can be puzzling for men. Yet, emotional honesty is a crucial aspect of cultivating intimacy, connection, and trust in a relationship; it's an essential tool that everybody needs to develop to become relational heroes.

In today's episode, I discuss the difficulty men experience when they share their emotional world in their relationships. I reveal the significance of emotional honesty in cultivating connection and intimacy in relationships. I explain why men avoid the topic of emotions and opening up to their partners and explain how a person should respond when someone shares their feelings, despite the difficulty of expressing them. I also highlight the importance of cultivating emotional truth within our friendships and share a story about a friend who honestly shared their feelings and emotions.

"This path of emotional honesty is the way of the relational hero." - Pripo Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

What it means to be emotionally honest
How and why men avoid expressing their feelings and emotions
The relational dread and fear that men feel when they're asked to open up their feelings
The vulnerability that comes with being emotionally truthful and how shame prevents us from sharing our emotions with our partners
Responding and validating our partners when they attempt to share their feelings despite their difficulty in expressing emotions
How our childhood upbringing influences how we express, contain, or avoid our emotions
Speaking our emotional truth without anger, blame, or judgment
The difference between emotional honesty, behavioral honesty, and outbursts of anger
Developing your distress tolerance to cultivate emotional honesty
The impact of emotional honesty on intimacy
The importance of practicing emotional honesty within friendships

Related Content:

Let's Talk About It!

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, visit our podcast page to leave us a voice message. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

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