Relationships Let's Talk About It!

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132. Receiving Someone's Anger Mar 16, 2021

Show notes

Dealing with our own anger habits in a healthy and productive way can be challenging in itself, but what can often be even more difficult is learning how to deal with receiving someone else's anger in a way that doesn't turn into a conflict or inspire feelings of resentment. If we leave ourselves unchecked, it can be easy to 'feed off' of someone else's anger. Keeping ourselves grounded when receiving someone's anger is critical to defuse the situation, but how do you do that? Addiction counselor, trauma specialist, and co-founder of Still Point Wellness, Corey Costanzo, suggests it starts with self-regulation

In today's episode, Corey and I discuss the varying degrees of anger - both giving and receiving it. We discuss how some anger is considered healthy and how we can determine when someone's anger becomes unhealthy and abusive. We explore ways couples can help their partners defuse their anger. We discuss how my wife, Rainbow, helps me self-regulate my angry feelings by allowing me to vent. We highlight the strategies we use to keep ourselves grounded when we're on the receiving end of someone's anger, such as breathing deeply and validating the other person's point of view. We discuss the importance of setting boundaries when receiving someone's anger, some of the phrases that can often trigger a person's anger, such as"calm down," "just deal with it," and " you're making too big of a deal out of this." We also share alternative phrases you can use to help defuse an angry situation and Corey shares how his wife, Robin, helped him snap out of an 'anger fog' through empathy, understanding, and love.

"It's the validation of an angry person's anger that is most likely going to defuse the anger and lead towards greater connection and understanding." - Corey Costanzo

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Understanding the difference between 'healthy anger' and 'unhealthy anger' and why it's critical to recognize the boundary line between them
How mirroring strategies and allowing your partner to express their anger without interruption can help them self-regulate their behaviors
How our childhood experiences with anger Impact the way we deal with other people's anger in adulthood
Using deep breathing techniques to keep yourself grounded while receiving someone's anger
Setting healthy boundaries when someone's anger crosses the line
Identifying and addressing emotionally, psychologically, and verbally abusive behaviors
Working with your partner to set healthy boundaries, agreements, and commitments for dealing with each other's anger
Phrases that can often fuel a person's anger and what you can say instead to help defuse the situation
How validating your partner's feelings and experiences can help them feel less threatened
How Robin snapped Corey out of an 'anger fog' by expressing her concern for his health and wellbeing
Using the practice of witnessing your partner's anger when it's directed at an object
Retraining your mind and body to respond to anger in a healthier way through visualization techniques
Preparing ourselves for conflicts in our relationships

Resources Mentioned:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
The Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics by Cedar Barstow

Related Content:

The Anger Habit

Connect with Corey Costanzo:

Sponsored by Still Point Wellness

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Let's Talk About It!

Thanks for tuning into this week's episode of Relationships! Let's Talk About It - the show to help you forge deeper, more meaningful connections and relationships with those around you. If you enjoyed this week's episode, please head over to Apple Podcasts, subscribe to the show, and leave us a rating and review.

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

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Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

131. Zen And The Art of Relating Mar 02, 2021

Show notes

Spiritual practice is a yearning for many of us. One can certainly feel the desire to renounce the world and live a contemplative life in a secluded monastery. But Zen priest and milkman Jonathon Flaum advises that spiritual growth can be found in the everyday. Echoing the teachings of the Buddhist philosopher Dogen, Jonathon warns us that the seeds of awakening can be cultivated by taking care of what's in front of us, no matter how worldly they may be: from mopping the floors, delivering and organizing bottles of milk, or cleaning a rug full of fur to relating with our life partners, children, and friends.

In this episode, Jonathon and I discuss the insights he has culminated in his practice as a Zen monk and milkman. We discuss what working as a milkman taught Jonathon about taking care of things - and of people. We explore how the practice of Zen can be found in something as mundane as housework and ponder how establishing a relationship with chores helps us relate with people. We also elaborate on the wisdom that could be found in committed relationships like marriage and how - if we remain open - they can give us an opportunity for spiritual awakening.

"The thing about zen practice is we start with relating with very small things, like sweeping the floor. It's about establishing a relationship with the environment and treating them like they matter." - Jonathon Flaum

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Bringing the perspective of Zen in the art of relating
Revering the things around us and how Zen teaches us to relate with small, everyday things
The wonders of a silent Zen retreat
Why Zen isn't about perfectionism and how perfectionism can be aggressive
Bringing the Zen practice to delivering milk and in daily life
How putting the time and effort to take care of things creates a connection with people
The subtlety of human relationships and the importance of paying attention to the smallest of things
The old man, his art, and the value of taking care of what's in front of you
Cultivating a relationship with chores, the house, and honoring the humans in it
The difference between cleaning up before and after everyone
Opening the hand and relating with emotions
Misconceptions about the Buddhist practice of non-attachment
Steadying as you go in marriage and the importance of allowing ourselves to get surprised
Marriage as the spiritual practice and how to see the magic in our partners
Treating everything equally and Dogen's instructions to a cook

Resources Mentioned:

Opening the Hand of Thought: Foundations of Zen Buddhist Practice by Kosho Uchiyama Roshi

Connect with Jonathon Flaum:

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

130. Dealing With Worry Feb 16, 2021

Show notes

Worrying is a natural inclination. It is inherent in every one of us to want to protect ourselves, our loved ones, and our possessions from harm. Like other emotions, worrying is an element of the human condition that can transform into a detrimental habit when left unchecked. While worrying can show up in our lives and relationships, fashion designer and Artsy Goddess Studio founder Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky suggests that the key to managing it is to be mindful of our words and emotions when reacting to challenging situations - an insight perhaps derived from our marriage that has seen both joy and worry over the last 25 years.

In this episode, Rainbow and I recollect how worry has shown up in our relationship, what we learned from it, and how we manage it. We discuss how worry is a human impulse and how it can negatively impact relationships. We compare how men and women generally respond to worry. We share our experiences growing up with worriers in the family and highlight the importance of trusting children. We also underscore the differences between worry and anxiety and emphasize the role of authenticity and aligning with our values in alleviating worry.

"Worry is a part of life - the trick is balance and awareness." - Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Worrying about health, providing for the family, and the weather
The value of trusting how we respond to a situation rather than trying to control it
Growing up with worriers in the family
Letting go of a situation that we can't work out
How men and women experience worry differently
The difference between processing worry and ruminating or suppressing it
Dealing with worry and other negative thoughts and feelings
Our tendency to 'catastrophize' things that don't actually happen
How children feel their parent's worry and the power of focusing on what we want instead of what we're scared of
Trusting our children to make good decisions in their lives
The role of communication in preventing and soothing worry
Explosive reactions and how they can make your partner be avoidant
The importance of giving and receiving confidence from each other
The role of appreciation in building confidence in relationships
Seeing a UFO on a starry night and the importance of expressing care in worry
The difference between worry and anxiety
The power of authenticity and value systems in lifting worry
Allowing our partners to deal with their worry in their own way

Resources Mentioned:

Guided Audio Meditations

Related Content:

Connect with Yvonne Rainbow Teplitsky:

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

129. Rebuilding Trust In Your Relationship After Betrayal Feb 02, 2021

Show notes

Safety, trust, and vulnerability. These are some of the pillars of long-term relationships. That is why infidelity could inflict a deep wound within us - for betrayal stands at the opposite end of what relationships stand for: open-heartedness, transparency, and communication. Licensed marriage & family therapist Jennifer Lehr is the founder and owner of WeConcile, through which she helps couples heal from pain and reconnect in their relationships. She stresses that infidelity is such a powerful force that it completely changes a relationship - but through work, transparency, and the willingness to own up to vulnerabilities, couples may be able to reconcile and begin their relationship anew.

In this episode, Jennifer and I explore the different aspects of betrayal in relationships. We highlight the difference between privacy and secrecy and explain how the latter can become destructive to a relationship. We discuss whether the cheated person should ask detailed questions about an affair. We also underscore the role of transparency and vulnerability in healing and reconciliation after a betrayal and emphasize the importance of supporting each other's growth in a relationship.

"Infidelity is a tsunami - it completely changes the landscape of a relationship. Rebuilding is a definite process that involves responsibility and remorse, and transparency." - Jennifer Lehr

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

The slippery slope of emotional infidelity
The many forms of betrayal
Creating safety and trust in long-term relationships
Taking ownership of infidelity and how defensiveness makes betrayal challenging to heal
The difference between privacy versus secrecy and their relationship to trust
The importance of cultivating reliability
The need for transparency after infidelity
Why it takes so long to rebuild trust after a betrayal
Grieving and mourning a relationship after an affair
Working through patterns and histories of cheating
Being a grown-up and aligning with our integrity
How secrecy can be a form of control and manipulation
Jennifer's philosophy of reconciliation and rebuilding trust after infidelity
Accepting remorse and how it's different from forgiveness
Influencing the precipitating factors of infidelity
The role of a couple's therapist in rebuilding trust in relationships
How defensiveness creates a break in the progress of healing
The reason power and control moves are a form of betrayal

Related Content:

Connect with Jennifer Lehr:

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

128. Revealing Is Healing: Embracing Vulnerability Jan 26, 2021

Show notes

There is something beautiful and affirming about being truly seen and known. To be understood and accepted for who we are, despite our flaws and shortcomings, is a common aspiration in relationships, one which requires us to embrace vulnerability. Greggy Levoy, speaker and author of Vital Signs and Callings, suggests that the choice to show your cards and lower your defenses - despite the fear and anxiety of shame and losing control - is the kind of vulnerability that builds trust and safety in relationships. And when we embrace our vulnerabilities, we open ourselves to healing.

Today, Gregg and I contemplate the power of vulnerability. We discuss vulnerability's capacity to create trust between relationships and encourage others to embrace their vulnerability. We explain how vulnerability feels like weakness when considered from the inside out but looks like courage when examined from the outside in. We describe how we can default to vulnerability through compassion and the difficulty of accepting love and appreciation. We also highlight the healing power of vulnerability and underscore how we can create space for someone when we are on vulnerability's receiving end.

"Vulnerability and trust are intimately related. By lowering your drawbridge, you encourage your partner to do the same." - Gregg Levoy

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

The relationship between vulnerability and trust
How embracing vulnerability encourages others to be open with their own
A communal way of expressing vulnerability
Why accepting flaws and shortcomings is part of saying 'yes' to a relationship
Understanding why people hesitate to be vulnerable
How our childhood experiences with vulnerability persist into our adult relationships
The importance of considering the recipient of your vulnerability
Our tendency to equate vulnerability and love
The sweet moment of being accepted with your vulnerability
The healing power of revealing and vulnerability
The role of confession in the therapeutic world
What it means to have a confiding relationship
How self-compassion creates strength in moments of vulnerability
What we need to do when someone opens up about their vulnerabilities
The human impulse of comforting other people

Resources Mentioned:

A Natural History of Love by Diane Ackerman
Love and Survival: 8 Pathways to Intimacy and health by Dean Ornish
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown

Related Content:

Connect with Gregg Levoy:

Gregg Levoy Website
Gregg Levoy on Facebook
BOOK: Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Gregg Levoy
BOOK: Vital Signs: Discovering and Sustaining Your Passion for Life by Gregg Levoy

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

127. Partner Yoga Jan 19, 2021

Show notes

Practicing yoga can be a stretch for beginners. But while it can put you in a challenging position, did you know that practicing partner yoga as a couple can powerfully impact your relationship? Jenne Sluder is a mental health professional and certified yoga therapist specializing in mind-body approaches to improving mental and physical wellbeing. According to Jenne, yoga is a practice of healing oneself and others. When practiced as a couple, partner yoga can give individuals in relationships an opportunity to deeply connect in a non-verbal way. Couple's don't have to worry about flexibility either. Jenne stresses that partner yoga doesn't have to only be about complicated poses; it can be as simple yet powerful as breathing together and looking into each others' eyes.

In this episode, Jenne and I discuss how couples can bring yoga and mind-body practices into their lives and enhance their relationships. We describe the interactive quality of partner yoga and illustrate what makes it different from other practices of yoga. We highlight the role of self-kindness in mind-body practices and partner yoga. We also explore how couple's yoga can create a space for emotional safety and cultivate the language of intimacy and compassion in a relationship.

"Yoga is a vehicle for intimacy and relationship with your body, with each other, and with the natural world." - Jenne Sluder

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Jenne's background and how long she has been practicing and teaching yoga therapy
What makes partner yoga unique and interactive for couples
Metaphorically and literally leaning on each other and how practicing couple's yoga can foster relationship trust
Why Jenne encourages verbal exchange in partner yoga
Learning the value of consent and getting to know your partner's body through couple's yoga
How the partner yoga practice can be a safe environment for people to talk about their needs and wants
Exploring communication and safety through the practice of breathing with your partner
Reconnecting with your partner after conflict through yoga
Utilizing mind-body practices to create an energy of care and support in the relationship
How partner yoga and listening to your partner's body can decrease tension in the relationship
Coaching couples through the challenges of partner yoga
How partner yoga can heal a relationship after infidelity and betrayal
What yoga can teach us about consent
The role of laughter and joy in partner yoga classes
The practice of "being with" and the relationship between partner yoga and the power of eye contact
How yoga practices can bring more compassion for physically-challenged partners
Jenne's experience with COVID-19 and how partner yoga helped her and her partner navigate the illness

Connect with Jenne Sluder:

Jenne Sluder Website

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

126. The Anger Habit Jan 12, 2021

Show notes

Whether we are its origin or its receiver, we all experience anger throughout our lives. While anger isn't necessarily "bad," it is a critical emotion to understand, for what we do with anger has the opportunity to bring our loved ones closer or push them away from us. And like other emotions, we become more accustomed to anger the more we express it without restraint, creating a toxic habit that can lead to contempt in our relationships. Anger becomes more difficult to manage when it becomes a habit, for habits are executed without much conscious effort. Although the anger habit can be hard-wired in a person's brain, bodywork therapist and Still Point Wellness owner Corey Costanzo suggests that a person can break free from anger's chains through awareness, conscious work, and education.

In this episode, Corey and I define anger as the need to be in control of external factors. We reveal how helplessness leads to frustration and, eventually, anger. We highlight different means of expressing anger in a healthy, non-destructive way. We discuss how anger impacts relationships and creates codependent dynamics in family systems. We also uncover the other emotions behind the mask of anger and underscore the power of appreciation as an antidote to the anger habit.

"Anger is an emotional pathway that gets hard-wired in the brain. With a bit of awareness, work, and information, you can shift out of the anger habit." - Corey Costanzo

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Anger as an emotional pathway and contraction in the body
The roots of anger
Why anger is a false sense of power and how it disempowers other people
The first door to frustration and how it translates to anger
A pet pig named Ginger and Corey's recent experience with anger and frustration
The feeling of justification whenever we express our anger
How Corey shifted his expressions of anger and frustration
The difference between feeling your anger versus expressing it without a filter
How unmanaged anger creates a codependent dynamic in family systems and relationships
Feelings of helplessness, frustration, anger, and how they all lead to contempt in relationships
Why anger isn't a bad emotion and how expressing a specific emotion creates more of it
The value of visualizing our moments of anger
Creating an environment where we can express difficult feelings in a healthier way
Sitting with anger and how it's different from ruminating on it
The power of breath in dissipating anger
Using anger, frustration, and other challenging emotions as biomarkers to detect the need to shift something
How anger impacts children, their behavior, and the development of their nervous system
The different styles of anger and how to manage them through awareness

Resources Mentioned:

How Anger Affects Intimate Relationships by Randi Gunther
Headspace

Related Content:

Connect with Corey Costanzo:

Sponsored by Still Point Wellness

Schedule your first appointment by visiting www.StillPointWell.com or call (828) 348-5372.

Mention the code: Pripo to receive 10% off your first Salt Water Floatation or Esalen Massage®!

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

125. The Shame/Fear Dynamic In Couples Jan 05, 2021

Show notes

There are many moments in a couple's life that shame and fear show up shrouded in subtlety. While men predominantly feel shame and inadequacy, women tend to go through fear and anxiety. Because of this experiential difference between men and women, it becomes a challenge for couples to understand and navigate the dynamics of shame and fear in relationships. As such, Juan Santos - the owner of Santos Counseling and author of Couple's Workbook: Making Your Relationship Work - recommends that couples seek self-discovery and strive to cultivate an environment of safety where they both can open up to vulnerability in their relationship.

Today, Juan and I illustrate how shame and fear interact and feed off of each other. We discuss the underlying factors of the shame/fear dynamic and describe how societal expectations exacerbate men's experience with shame in adulthood. We explain how childhood upbringing influences the way people navigate moments of shame in their lives. We also underscore the power of compassionate touch in soothing and calming moments of vulnerability between couples and highlight the role of compassion and kindness in the self-exploration of shame and fear.

"We have to do work on ourselves to be able to feel comfortable with witnessing shame, so we know how to make space for others" - Juan Santos

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

Feeling shameful about feeling shame
Growing up in a culture of shame and men's experience with shame and vulnerability
Compassion and empathy as antidotes to fear
Natural reactions to men's expressions of shame and vulnerability
Soothing vulnerability through intentional and compassionate touch
Sexual shame and social expectations of sexual performance
Being ashamed of not understanding the emotional world
Providing for togetherness and understanding women's experience with fear
Decreasing resentment through compassion and connection
The subtle ways couples shame each other
Understanding and creating "soft start-ups" to conversations
The power of visualization in cultivating the kind of people we want to be in relationships
Why we need self-compassion when we explore and work on our shame
Making space for others to share their shame and vulnerabilities

Related Content:

Friendship Breakups

Connect with Juan Santos:

Santos Counseling
Santos Counseling on Instagram
Santos Counseling on Facebook
Santos Counseling on YouTube
Juan Santos on LinkedIn
EMAIL: juansantos@santoscounseling.com
BOOK: Life Without Stress
BOOK: Rebuilding Us: A 30 Day Guide for Healing Your Relationship After an Affair
BOOK: Couple's Workbook: Making Your Relationship Work

Sponsored by Still Point Wellness

Schedule your first appointment by visiting www.StillPointWell.com or call (828) 348-5372.

Mention the code: Pripo to receive 10% off your first Salt Water Floatation or Esalen Massage®!

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

124. New Love... Taking Risks To Be Real Dec 29, 2020

Show notes

The willingness to take risks, to be authentic, and to be open to vulnerability is critical to a new relationship. To author and speaker Gregg Levoy and musician and former Silicon Valley tech executive Cindy Nelson, being able to work with each other's darkness and light - not to mention their "crazies" - allows them to go deeper in their connection with each other. Gregg & Cindy both began their relationship in May 2020. At the height of the pandemic, Gregg & Cindy navigated their budding relationship slowly, bearing the openness to balance out infatuation and romance with gentle doses of reality, indeed demonstrating that "love" is not only a feeling, but also a verb.

In this episode, Greg, Cindy, and I share the story of how they met and illustrate their unique way of connecting with each other. We discuss the value of catching and addressing issues while they're still small and describe how couples can use non-violent communication to resolve conflict. We also highlight how couples can cultivate safety in each other and explain why it can be beneficial to see a couples' therapist early on in the relationship.

"As we share our vulnerabilities, we become more capable of handling them, sharing them with somebody else, and putting our hearts in their hands." - Gregg Levoy

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How meeting during the pandemic helped Greg & Cindy take their time in their relationship
Greg & Cindy's first meeting in person after months of written correspondence
The dynamics of new relationships and how Cindy & Greg knew they wanted to pursue their connection further
Purposefully balancing out infatuation and romance with gentle doses of reality
The first question Cindy asked in person and how Greg established that he wanted somebody with depth
Greg & Cindy's "crazies" and the importance of being open to vulnerability
The power of intentional touch and its impact on a new relationship
Establishing the need for some time alone and how Greg & Cindy satisfy each other's love languages
The right time to bring the "love is blind" adage into a relationship
How taking risks and exploring vulnerability brings more love, intimacy, and safety
How Cindy's mindfulness practice helps her navigate her relationship with Greg
Working through challenges while they're still small
Using non-violent communication to work through conflicts and avoid kitchen-sinking
Expecting potential challenges and milestones in new relationships
Navigating the extrovert-introvert scale between Greg & Cindy
Making peace with and respecting your partner's history and previous relationships
Why it could be beneficial to see a relationship therapist earlier in a relationship

Related Content:

Connect with Gregg Levoy:

Gregg Levoy Website
Gregg Levoy on Facebook
Book: Callings: Finding and Following an Authentic Life by Gregg Levoy
Book: Vital Signs: Discovering and Sustaining Your Passion for Life by Gregg Levoy

Connect with Cindy Nelson:

Cindy Nelson on LinkedIn

Sponsored by Still Point Wellness

Schedule your first appointment by visiting www.StillPointWell.com or call (828) 348-5372.

Mention the code: Pripo to receive 10% off your first Salt Water Floatation or Esalen Massage®!

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

123. Relationship Sabotage Dec 22, 2020

Show notes

Whether we're in the dating stage or have been married for many years, there are many ways that we conduct self-defeating behaviors that can undermine our relationships. Some of these behaviors are so deeply rooted in our history that it can become challenging to uncover. Yet, it is human to have self-sabotaging tendencies, stresses Cathy Courtenay, a Conscious Relating Coach who guides people through connecting with themselves. With all our complexities and nuances, it may look impossible to form intimate relationships; but, through self-awareness and healing work, Cathy stresses it is possible to overcome our inclinations to sabotage and create healthy, fulfilling relationships.

In this episode, Cathy and I discuss the many ways we sabotage ourselves in our relationships, uncover their underlying causes, and share advice on how they can be managed. We dissect our personal challenges with self-sabotage in our relationships and discuss the steps we take to manage them. We also highlight the role of self-esteem and self-awareness in cultivating intimacy in relationships and healing self-sabotaging patterns.

"If you are self-sabotaging in your relationship to a point where it creates harm and damage, there may be a trigger from your past that needs to be looked at." - Cathy Courtenay

This week on Relationships! Let's Talk About It:

How insecurities and the need for constant reassurance lead to self-sabotage
Owning our vulnerabilities as the first step to mending insecurities
The role of self-awareness in managing self-sabotaging emotions and behavior
The dangers of knee-jerk responses from the lower brain and suppressing emotional experiences
My subtle tendencies to sabotage in my marriage and Cathy's inclination to hyperfocus on what's wrong
How Cathy uses appreciation practices to magnify the things for which she is grateful
Why we need to shift how we view masculinity and femininity
Anchoring on corrective experiences to heal the wounds of the past
Codependency and sabotaging a relationship through doing your partner's work
The importance of taking responsibility for your part of a problem
The pursuer versus the distancer and how their difference can sabotage a relationship
Strategies and skills to handle anxious-avoidant relationship patterns
The relationship grid and the connection between intimacy and self-esteem
Engaging in unhealthy and excessive behaviors as a mode of self-sabotage
How holding grudges can lead to poor communication and passive-aggressive behavior
The fear of entrapment and managing differences in relationships
Recognizing and managing the desire to control

Related Content:

Connect with Cathy Courtenay:

Sponsored by Still Point Wellness

Schedule your first appointment by visiting www.StillPointWell.com or call (828) 348-5372.

Mention the code: Pripo to receive 10% off your first Salt Water Floatation or Esalen Massage®!

Let's Talk About It!

You can check out the original songs I have sung in my podcast at Pripo's Podcast Songs.

If you have a relationship question you'd love to have answered, contact us. Your question may be featured on a future episode!

And if our content has helped you forge deeper connections and more meaningful relationships, be sure to help support the show by visiting our Support the Podcast page!

Theme music "These Streets" provided by Adi the Monk

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