Recovery Elevator

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**Recovery Elevator**

It’s not a NO to alcohol — it’s a YES to a better life!
Bestselling author Paul Churchill interviews people who have successfully quit drinking, offering an honest, uplifting look at what an alcohol-free life can really look like. Each week, Recovery Elevator explores sobriety from fresh perspectives — no judgment, no lectures, just real stories from real people.
Whether you’re sober curious, newly sober, supporting a loved one, or already thriving in recovery, you’ve found your community.

Topics include: how to stop drinking alcohol, alcohol addiction and dependency, whether moderate drinking actually works, what happens to your brain when you quit drinking, the role of spirituality in recovery, whether AA is right for you, tracking sobriety milestones, and whether addiction might be trying to tell you something.

If alcohol is making you sick and tired, Recovery Elevator is your invitation to explore what life on the other side looks like — through candid conversations and inspiring guest stories.

Latest Episodes:

RE 418: Serenity Now! Feb 20, 2023

Show notes

Today we have Bethany. She is 34 from Michigan and took her last drink in January of 2021.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

[2:15] Highlights from Kris:

Kris enjoys living in a small town where everyone helps one another, and the pace is rather consistent. He and his wife were recently on a trip to the city, and it was busier than usual which created sensory overload for Kris. He found himself in the candle section of Target taking a moment and saying the serenity prayer. It helps him shift his thinking that it's all about him and reminds him that he can exist better with others.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The courage to change the things I can

The wisdom to know the difference

It doesn't fix everything right away, but it assists with pausing and choosing how to react going forward.

[10:15] Kris introduces Bethany:

Bethany is 34, has two kids and a fiancé. She just graduated college last year, works as an account manager for a car parts company. For fun she likes to play video games and plays often with her fiancé. She also enjoys running, camping, travelling and quality time with friends and family.

Bethany wasn't exposed to alcohol much growing up. She had her first drink when she was 14 and got sick so she didn't try it again for a while. Started going to high school parties but didn't drink when she was playing sports. She found herself in a toxic relationship with a boy she met in church. After a messy break up she stopped going to the church and ended up feeling the loss of community as a result. After going away to college, she started partying as a way to escape her depression.

By her sophomore year she stopped going to classes and for the next year, her drinking escalated a good bit more. She met her ex-husband around this time. She ended up getting pregnant and then they got married and had another child. She says they weren't compatible, and they didn't have a healthy relationship. Bethany feels she didn't have a good real-life example of strong relationships growing up because her mom died when she was four and her dad never remarried. Her husband was in the military where the drinking culture is very normalized, and they drank a lot. Towards the end of the marriage, she realized that the drinking was getting in the way of her parenting, and it was hard to take any breaks from it. Everyone she was around drank like she did, so no one ever said anything to her about it. For a while she stayed stuck in the cycle of drinking too much, taking a few days off and then starting back again.

She met her fiancé at a friend's party. He is a normal drinker and would sometimes call her out for her drinking. Bethany says her behavior towards him and others could be abusive, so she started trying to set rules around her drinking. It wasn't until an incident that had her feeling bad about not being present for her kids prompted her to think about trying to quit drinking.

A Google search led her to finding RE and she discovered a few episodes that really resonated with her. For the first time she realized she wasn't alone and felt hope for the future. She joined Café RE for support and accountability and started reading a lot of Quit Lit. Soon into recovery she found herself enjoying life without alcohol and enjoying her children playing sports. Her grades improved and she graduated with honors. She has started making friends that she enjoys spending time with.

[52:25] Kris' Summary

Telling our stories is a brave thing and can help a lot of people. Reach out if you are interested in sharing your story: kris@recoveryelevator.com

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The only way out is through, we can do this

I love you guys

RE 417: The Best and Worst Place to be With a Drinking Problem Feb 13, 2023

Show notes

Today we have Jenny, she is 36 from Hudson, WI and took her last drink on 2/16/2020.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

[02:45] Intro Summary:

When Paul describes the best and worst places to be with a drinking problem, they both look a lot alike.

That realization that alcohol no longer serves us, but we can't imagine life without it can be a scary place to be. Alcohol has us right where it wants us. It may feel like part of you is dying, that feeling is grief.

But on the flip side, when we realize that alcohol no longer serves us, we can see that as an invitation to live the life we were meant to live. We are at the tipping point about to embark upon the greatest journey in our life.

We are all right where we need to be. Life will keep giving us the same lesson until we are ready to learn or make a change. By making that first jump into the unknown, you give others courage to do the same.

[10:15] Paul introduces Jenny:

Jenny is 36 and lives in the small town of Hudson WI. She is married and they have one son together. She works in education and enjoys the outdoors – camping, backpacking, she also enjoys gardening, yoga and in recovery she learned that she likes to read.

Jenny's drinking started when she was just 11 years old. A traumatic event that she didn't share with anyone had her feeling alone and out of place. Jenny realized she loved drinking right from the start. She grew up aspiring to be the bad girl with the tough persona because it helped her put up a guard to protect herself. She enjoyed drinking and was willing to try any other drugs.

When she was 20 her and her boyfriend moved to Montana. She thought she could escape her issues, but that didn't work. Her addictions got worse and while she would quit some things, the alcohol remained which helped her believe that she didn't have a problem because drinking was socially acceptable.

At age 30, she lost a pregnancy and her drinking evolved from drinking for fun to being self-destructive. She later got pregnant again and her son was born 18 months later. She still struggled to quit drinking during pregnancy and since her doctor told her it was ok, she saw that as a green light to keep drinking.

When their son was 7 weeks old, they moved back home from Montana to their hometown to be close to family. In debt, postpartum with no job, the lived in her in-law's basement and her drinking got really bad. No one called her out because drinking was all part of the culture.

Her turning point was after Super Bowl Sunday when she had crippling anxiety the day after and ended up staying in bed for two days with very dark thoughts. There is a history of suicide in her family and that is what stopped her from that path.

She says she was sober from alcohol for the first 14 months but doesn't feel like she was in recovery. She ended up going to AA in April of 2021 and hasn't looked back.

To her, there is a big difference between being sober and being in recovery. She is doing things that she likes to do instead of just not drinking. She feels like every day is a victory and she counts every day as it helps motivate her. At first, she had a hard time letting go of the old persona, but now she has let go of that and has redefined who she is. She loves mornings now and is doing well in her job. She also loves yoga and attends AA meetings frequently as well as other online community events.

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I love you guys

We can do this.

RE 416: The AF Beverage Feb 06, 2023

Show notes

Today we have Mike, he is 59 from Newport, OR and took his last drink on 1/27/2022.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Thank you Café RE chat hosts! You do an amazing job!

[01:34] Highlights from Paul:

When quitting drinking, the thinking mind creates 99 problems or obstacles, but what to drink when we ditch the booze shouldn't be one of them. Exploring AF beverages in recovery should be fun.

Paul gives us the three key pillars (the drink, the temperature, and the glass/cup) along with many great tips on combining these elements to make the perfect AF drink.

[10:31] Kris introduces Mike:

Mike has been sober for 323 days at the time of recording. He lives on the Oregon coast and after leaving the restaurant business three years ago, he now manages a deli. He enjoys writing and walking on the beach which he lives very close to.

Mike started working in the restaurant business as a cook at the age of 15-16 years old. He says that alcohol comes with the restaurant industry. It was customary to drink with customer and coworkers, it was part of day to day life. No one really commented on his drinking because his family was on the west coast and he was attending college on the east coast. Everyone he associated with at the time drank as well.

He did some soul searching after he had gotten a divorce and took some time away from alcohol, but it was hard to sustain. The long hours and drinking we beginning to take a toll on him mentally and physically. He started making rules around his drinking but always broke them.

When he was 40, he got married again and they had a child. He says alcohol was a problem in his relationships and was starting to affect his job as well. He tried outpatient rehab and attending AA on his own but when that didn't repair the marriage, he stopped going. His drinking increased and he got a few DUIs that included court ordered meetings and counseling. He was just checking the boxes by going, but ended up learning things on the way even though he wasn't ready to quit drinking. He enjoys research and looks at that as time he used to research quitting drinking. He reflected on his journals that he has kept throughout his life and realized that he has always had issues with alcohol but didn't listen.

He joined Café RE in September of 2021 after his girlfriend found Recovery Elevator and suggested it to Mike. He feels that quitting drinking this time is his choice which has made all the difference for him.

When Mike first started his current AF journey, he would keep track of any cravings that he would have in a notebook that he carried with him. He says by the time he finished writing it down the craving had mostly left. His friends know he has quit which has made socializing much easier. He enjoys AF beer and isn't bothered by being around alcohol at events and when out playing pool.

Writing and processing his thoughts has been an instrumental tool for Mike in recovery. He works on his sobriety every single day and shares his reflections with the community daily since he quit.

[52:00] Kris' outro:

Kris reflects on "sandpaper people". This quote from the book Us by Terrence Real helped him change his responses and reactions to these types of people. Even subtle positive energy can have an impact on those around me.

"This world does not belong to us; we belong to on another".

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Thanks for being here RE and remember,

We're the only ones that can do this, but we don't have to do it alone.

I love you guys

RE 415: Dopamine Jan 30, 2023

Show notes

Today we have Jorie, she is 31, from Westford, VT and took her last drink on 9/19/2020

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

[02:01] Highlights from Paul:

We hear a lot about dopamine in recovery. All humans have dopamine, but our dopamine systems all work differently. It is the chemical that drives us eat, find warmth, shelter, find a mate and is also known as the pleasure molecule.

Living in a world of abundance rather than scarcity finds us with an overwhelming number of dopamine-triggering stimuli for nearly all of us in one way or another. Many of us reached the point in our drinking where we no longer drank to feel good but drank just to feel normal. This is all tied to dopamine and how it is processed by the body. Dopamine is important to keep us going, but we must find healthier ways to get it.

Check out the book Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke, it is a great read on the topic.

[09:14] introduces Jorie:

Jorie is 31 and was born in raised in Vermont. She enjoys running, playing hockey and loves to write which she says helps her stay in the present moment. She's an athletic trainer at a local school, runs her own business and supervises sporting events. She is also part of a co-ed hockey league in her spare time.

Jorie didn't start drinking until after college. Her parents divorced when she was young. Her father had a drinking problem, but her mother did not drink. She was never interested in drinking, she worked hard in school and played sports, so it didn't fit into her lifestyle. She was in a long-term relationship since she was 18 and they got married when she was 27.

The pandemic really opened her eyes to her relationship with alcohol. She realized how uncomfortable it made her to think about alcohol not being an option to cope with things. Jorie and her brother challenged one another to quit drinking over the summer of 2020 and they almost made it three weeks. That experiment helped her to further review her drinking and she started realizing that she really tried to avoid being uncomfortable for a long time. She began reading books associated with recovery and discovered Recovery Elevator where she listened to other people's stories and recognized that we don't have to hit rock bottom to question our drinking.

When she quit drinking, she initially felt a lot of anxiety and fear. She felt guilt that she craved alcohol, she felt shame for listening to podcasts for hours. She wants to live her best life and realizes that alcohol will impede that. Jorie does not want to see a rock bottom and is focusing on her growth in sobriety. She feels stronger in her job and in her relationships and really thrives on focusing on the present.

For Jorie, recovery takes effort and continued learning is important.

[46:49] Paul's outro:

In the book Dopamine Nation Dr Anna Lembke talks about a 30 day dopamine fast. It isn't always that easy, but it is necessary to help us heal. Over time and with work, we can live a life without the temptations to the dopamine system.

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We took the elevator down, but we've got to take the stairs back up

I love you guys

RE 414: You Won't Regret Not Drinking Jan 23, 2023

Show notes

Today we have Emily, she is 44, from Phoenix, AZ and took her last drink on March 10th, 2019

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

[02:34] Paul's thoughts:

Paul doesn't make many promises on this podcast but feels he can 100% positively tell us that we will never regret not drinking. You won't regret the extra $20 you save; the planet won't regret the gallons of water not used after "breaking the seal" or the trash drinking creates. Your family will never regret you not drinking. Your pets, your plants, your job, your community. Your hobbies, and your goals as well as any one of the 70 trillion cells in your body will not regret you not drinking.

It takes bravery and courage to take this path but listeners, you will not regret ditching the booze. You can do this.

[08:30] Kris introduces Emily:

Emily has been sober for almost 4 years. She lives in Phoenix AZ with her husband, two daughters and two cats. She currently works in music education and loves to play music, paddleboard, and listening to podcasts.

Emily had little exposure to alcohol growing up. Her father was a recovering alcoholic, which wasn't talked about much. She took her first drink at the age of 19 at an Army officer training program event. She was very nervous and insecure in new social settings so accepted the offer to drink and ended up blacking out.

She was excited to fit in but had a huge sense of shame because she didn't remember what happened.

Drinking was a problem for Emily right from the start. It was never just one she always binge drank. Throughout college and her career, she was able to mostly uphold her dual life – had it all together but on the inside was struggling with fears of not fitting in and fears of abandonment.

Emily's husband was also in the military and was deployed frequently. She used alcohol to self soothe when she felt isolated. They were moving around a lot which gave Emily a chance to start over every time. She didn't have to worry about who she alienated or upset with her drinking and just moved to the next town.

Emily reconnected with her father when one of their moves took them to the area where he lived. She enjoyed the opportunity they had to get to know one another and spend time together. When her father died unexpectedly, her drinking ramped up again.

Over the last few years of her drinking, she ended up resigning from her job and took a work from home position. She found herself drinking more and it was affecting all of her relationships. Emily decided to change her relationship with alcohol after a painful experience that happened with her kids. Within a few days of the event, she walked into her first AA meeting and that was her quit date.

Emily started with AA and an IOP program. She attended a lot of meetings and found a sponsor that helped her learn how to stop punishing herself and stop worrying about being abandoned. Being willing to do what her sponsor suggested helped her recovery. She was able to start playing music again and has started being a sponsor herself.

[51:20] Kris' outro:

One of the beautiful things about recovery is finding parts of ourselves that we thought we lost. Emily has reconnected with her love for music and her song "Am I Alright?" as the outro today.

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Remember, we took the elevator down, but we've got to take the stairs back up

You can do this

I love you guys

RE 413: Grit, Grace, and Gratitude Jan 16, 2023

Show notes

Today we have Matt who is from Atlanta and took his last drink on November 15th, 2022.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

[02:35] Thoughts from Kris:

Turning 40 found him thinking more about longevity and being able to be healthy later in life. He has struggled with his physical health the past few years but gave himself a pass because his mental and spiritual health was more important at the time.

Now, five years later and several stops and starts, he realizes he needs to treat his nutrition and physical health goals like another form of recovery. Much like sobriety, he felt he shouldn't do it alone and reached out to a friend in the health and wellness world and asked for help. Together they set some small, attainable goals rather than a strict daily routine bound for failure.

He talks about the virtues of "grit" "grace" and "gratitude" and their relation to our recovery.

[10:21] Paul introduces Matt

Matt has 31 days at the time of this recording. He feels great making it past that milestone after many stops in starts over the past four years. Matt was born in Atlanta and moved to Utah in middle school. He was an avid skier and baseball player in school and currently enjoys going to the gym, running, and playing in a local rock band.

Matt was young when he first tried sips of his parents' drinks. Other than a few parties, Matt didn't drink much in high school. It wasn't until joining a fraternity in college that his drinking really got going. He considers his drinking as binge drinking and did not drink daily however, he started developing panic attacks and having issues with his grades at school.

He buckled down and cut back on partying during his senior year and graduated. He got a good job right after college and wasn't having any more panic attacks. He typically only drank on the weekends and didn't feel he had a problem because work was still going well and, on the occasion that he got a hangover, he would take a break for a while.

Some consequences came when he lost his job a few years ago and his drinking really ramped up as a way to cope with it. It took him a while to realize he was drinking to cover up his feelings and started using more and more. When things at home weren't going well Matt agreed he needed to address his drinking and started attending AA. He was stuck in the cycle of addiction with many stops and starts.

It was 31 days ago that Matt took himself to inpatient detox so that he could start the healing process. He was ready to commit to not drinking and working on getting his life back. Initially he feared judgment from others but felt relief when he got there. After four days, he feels he had a moment of clarity and started to feel better and really dove into his recovery. Matt believes in radical honesty and accountability now and is working with his wife to earn her trust back while helping her understand what addiction is like. He went back to AA, is working the steps with a sponsor and he enjoys helping newcomers. He is feeling like this is a rebirth for him and is happy to live a life without alcohol. He has a clear idea of the person, husband, and father he wants to be.

[46:35] Kris' outro:

Kris encourages us to look at ourselves and ask if a different approach could help us with our goals that we may have been struggling to reach. Our egos want to protect us but if we pick the right people to have on our team, it can be a game changer.

Change is hard, but so is letting something keep us from our best life.

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You're the only ones who can do this, but you don't have to do it alone

I love you guys.

RE 412: Get Your Connection On Jan 09, 2023

Show notes

Today we have Brad who is 35 from Fort Wayne, IN and took his last drink on 8/31/2018

[3:19] Highlights from Paul:

Human beings are wired for connection, we need it to survive. It's up on the list with food, clean water, and shelter. Paul shares several statistics surrounding chronic disorders with the biggest one being mental disorders and loneliness. Loneliness has been compared to smoking in how it affects our bodies and is considered to be unhealthier than inactivity or obesity. Our addictions are symptoms of our disconnection.

Are we doomed? Paul says no. There is a remedy - get connected!

The ability to connect is a skill that we acquire naturally as kids/young adults but connecting later in life isn't as easy. Here are some steps to help with connecting:

#1 – leverage your decision to quit drinking

#2 – Connect - Go to AA, join Café RE, meet with other sober people

Connection isn't always human to human. Animals can help too. Paul credits Ben in saving him and helping him get sober. We (the community) are what help him stay sober.

[11:25] Kris introduces Brad:

Brad is from Indiana; he is married and has a daughter and two dogs. He works in sales and enjoys spending time with family and friends, playing golf, and being active with his church.

Brad didn't really drink much until his sophomore year in college when he had an opportunity to go to school in London. When he returned, he continued to go out frequently to bars and parties. He didn't see a problem as he was still doing well in school and graduated with honors. He found the transition between college and finding a career to be challenging. Due to his colleagues being older than him, he felt a little isolated socially so he would continue to spend time with friends that were still in college. This found him drinking more and more frequently.

He met his wife at a bar and in the early days of their relationship they socialized often. He always drank more than her and it wasn't until they moved in together that he would recognize that his drinking was a problem. He would try to quit for a while, but it didn't last, and he considered his drinks a reward for working hard. It started causing issues in their relationship.

Brad was starting to have some negative consequences from his drinking but still wasn't ready to quit. It wasn't until he was forced to face the consequences of a DUI and an ultimatum from his wife that he explored recovery. His dad took him to his first AA meeting where he got some encouraging words from members at the meeting and chose to continue going and working the steps. He says it felt great to find a community which is still important to his recovery.

At first, he approached his recovery as just not drinking. He quickly learned that he needed to do more internal work. Brad is open about the fact that he doesn't drink. He has lost a few relationships which hurt at first, but it showed him his true friends. He finds acts of service important to his recovery. He uses HALT to help him deal with the cravings which he says he has very few of these days.

[57:30] Kris' outro:

There are more conversations about being sober curious happening outside of the recovery space. The idea of looking at your drinking is becoming less taboo. Sure, the time of year has a lot to do with it but having the conversations is what's important. Look for the right times to share, you can help others with your experiences.

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We took the elevator down but we've got to take the steps back up.

I love you guys.

RE 411: The Grateful Alcoholic Jan 02, 2023

Show notes

Today we have Lisa who is 65 from Atlanta, GA took her last drink on 11/17/2022.

Highlights from Paul:

Paul didn't understand a fellow AA member's references to being a "grateful alcoholic". Only after getting to know Jim, did he understand what they meant. It took a few years for Paul to get to that point to be grateful for his addiction.

He reflects that our addictions are signposts trying to guide us to a more authentic life and that there are no such things as failures. They are learning opportunities and we should never give up. We should trust the process of healing from the addictions, and we can all become grateful for the role that alcohol has played in our lives.

[00:00] Paul introduces Lisa

Her last drink was November 17, 2022 - a little over three weeks from the time of this recording. She says it feels wonderful, relieving, liberating, comforting, all positive things.

Lisa is 65 and lives in Atlanta area with her husband of 36 years. They have two grown children and remain close to them. She enjoys reading, travelling, exercise, nature and family time.

Lisa's drinking started out on the weekends in high school. She drank throughout adulthood and always knew she drank abnormally. She discovered she had her first blackout and fell when she was nearly 50. That scared her into getting sober with AA but she feels she never did the work or found a good sponsor. After one year, she thought she could handle drinking again.

Over the last two or three years she has known she needed to stop again. She was starting to notice the health consequences and began finding resources including The Huberman Lab podcast episode about alcohol, and This Naked Mind.

Journalling about her drinking past has helped her recognize some of what drove her to addiction. She became aware that her drinking ramped up after she retired in 2015 as she felt a loss of identity. She has recently become a caretaker for her mother who has been in recovery since Lisa was 15, but they have never been close. She thinks she used alcohol for stress and anxiety relief over that and the loneliness she found in retirement. Now that she knows that it is her brain reacting to the disease which she finds helpful to her recovery. She embraces that she must do things differently this time and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. She has joined several recovery communities and asked to be on the podcast. She has not shared her journey with her immediate family but plans to do so very soon.

In recovery, Lisa says that routine is vital to her success. She exercises daily while listening to podcasts. She enjoys volunteering to stay busy. Her faith is very important to her and she finds prayer and journalling helpful.

One thing she has learned in sobriety – she can find the courage to do hard things and is stronger than she realized

Parting piece of guidance – you can control your thoughts, just focus on what you are gaining, not what you are losing.

[00:00] Closing thoughts from Paul:

Paul encourages us to stop labeling things as a problem. We need challenges to appreciate rewards. He compares this to alcohol as being the invitation to step into a rebirth and make great changes in our lives for the better. He has yet to meet someone that regretted quitting drinking. Paul also revisits his thoughts on Big Alcohol and his view on legalization of drugs and alcohol.

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I love you guys.

We took the elevator down; we've got to take the stairs back up.

We can do this.

RE 410: What's the Point? Dec 26, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Justin, he's is 37 from New York, and he took his last drink on September 8th, 2020.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul:

Many of us have asked the question "what's the point of life?" The response is always a near derivative of love. It's safe to say that the core religions can be summarized with one teaching. The Golden Rule. The mystics recognized, we are all one, what you do to another you do to yourself and if you treat your fellow human being with respect and dignity, you in turn will experience the same.

We have learned that we cannot find the point of it all at the bottom of a bottle. And when we hear The Golden Rule, we often think of the other person, but what about being kind to ourselves? Treat others as you'd like to be treated, but you need to treat yourself how you want to be treated. And only then, can we have a shot at learning about what this miracle we call life is all about.

[10:00] Kris introduces Justin:

Justin has been sober since September 9th, 2020. He lives in Harrison New York. He is getting married next year, has two cats and two dogs. He loves running, traveling, and listening to podcasts and audiobooks.

When he was growing up, his first exposure to alcohol was his family having wine at the holidays and his dad drank beer. He remembers his father as inconsistent, and was very aware of the amount of beer that his father drank and was attuned to what was going on.

Justin first drank in around 7th grade but didn't like where it was heading. Later he had a small circle of friends that he would drink heavily with late in high school. After transitioning to college alcohol was the gateway to making friends. He started making rules around his drinking early on and used it as a coping tool. He never felt he had a problem because he knew what a problem looked like.

After college, Justin continued to try and create rules around his drinking. Alcohol was more of a social connector and bars were everywhere and he couldn't imagine life without drinking – it was normalized but he knew he was different, and that drinking wasn't right for him.

It was when Justin had his first experience dating someone that didn't drink that he realized it was possible to go out and be fully present and aware. He recognized that this was the person he wanted to be but was still dependent on alcohol. When he had 10 days of sobriety for a personal development course, but could not continue, he knew he had to address the problem. He started listening to audiobooks which helped him recognize what led to his addiction. He had a shift where he realized that he no longer wanted to use alcohol to cope with life. While running he started listening to recovery books and podcasts. He was able to start stringing sober days together and realized that he wanted to be a non-drinker. He started looking at his recovery scientifically and evaluated his sober vs. non-sober time.

He says his biggest tools involve audiobooks, podcasts, playing the tape forward and connection is the most important. You can connect with Justin in the links below:

Alternative Direction Coaching

CoachJustin450@gmail.com

[60:00] Thoughts from Kris

Radical honesty has been important for Kris and urges us to ask ourselves a few questions without judgement. Honesty can help us accept where we are and get the help that we need.

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You're the only one who can do this RE

But you don't have to do it alone

I love you guys.

RE 409: The Cost of Inauthenticity Dec 19, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Jeremiah, he's 35 from Denver, CO and took his last drink on April 27, 2022.

Highlights from Paul:

Being inauthentic creates a lot of pain which many of us have tried to address it by using alcohol. We often choose survival over authenticity by putting our basic needs over expressing or being ourselves. Sometimes we have to be inauthentic to fit in.

Dr. Gabor Mate's book "The Myth of Normal" says "the perceived need to be what the world demands becomes entangled with our sense of who we are and how to seek love. Inauthenticity is thereafter misidentified with survival because the two were synonymous during the formative years."

It has been studied that being inauthentic can lead to physical disease. And Dr. Sarno has concluded that back pain is not structural but represents repressed emotions, mostly rage.

How can we be authentic? It is a practice and a balance. There are two sides to the coin: saying no to BS and doing more of what you enjoy. Paul challenges us to ask ourselves where we are not being authentic? What BS are we putting up with?

[9:28] Paul introduces Jeremiah:

Jeremiah took his last drink on April 27, 2022. He grew up in Wisconsin but currently lives in Denver, CO. He's 35, single and has two dogs and loves all varieties of outdoor sports.

Jeremiah didn't drink in high school but started drinking when he went to college. He was able to do well in school and work and went out a few nights a week drinking like a "normal" college student. After graduating he moved out of state, got married and says his drinking was drastically reduced. Even throughout other life changes including a divorce his drinking wasn't out of control. After getting a DUI he was ordered to take classes that he didn't feel that he needed and was able to quit drinking for over a year with relative ease.

He initially saw the pandemic as an opportunity to focus on healthy and productive endeavors. He soon started to feel very isolated, and depression and anxiety started to set in. His doctor put him on an antidepressant and Xanax which he started to abuse and mixing with alcohol. He attended an IOP for Xanax with no intention of quitting drinking initially. After a big relapse he realized he was no longer in control of his drinking and decided to go to inpatient rehab.

He wishes he had gone into rehab sooner where he finally felt relief and realized that he needed to make some changes. He made the decision to quit his job and moved back to Denver where he took some time off and started doing things that he used to enjoy. He feels that his hobbies are just as important to his recovery as the community that he has found in AA and Café RE. He has found that through his hobbies and mindfulness he is better at living in the moment. He looks forward to the future and plans to do more hiking, travelling and hopefully one day have a family.

[48:25] Paul's summary:

Gen Z and many others are waking up to the fact that alcohol is shit. Just like Big Tobacco had their moment with catchy icons helping us believe that smoking was cool and good for us until people started dying, Big Alcohol has also spun a similar story – that it is good for our health and social life. But we are waking up and just like domestic tobacco sales went to shit, I imagine the same is already in motion for Big Alcohol.

Resources

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Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Recovery Elevator

This isn't a "no" to alcohol, but a "yes" to a better life.

I love you guys.