Recovery Elevator

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**Recovery Elevator**

It’s not a NO to alcohol — it’s a YES to a better life!
Bestselling author Paul Churchill interviews people who have successfully quit drinking, offering an honest, uplifting look at what an alcohol-free life can really look like. Each week, Recovery Elevator explores sobriety from fresh perspectives — no judgment, no lectures, just real stories from real people.
Whether you’re sober curious, newly sober, supporting a loved one, or already thriving in recovery, you’ve found your community.

Topics include: how to stop drinking alcohol, alcohol addiction and dependency, whether moderate drinking actually works, what happens to your brain when you quit drinking, the role of spirituality in recovery, whether AA is right for you, tracking sobriety milestones, and whether addiction might be trying to tell you something.

If alcohol is making you sick and tired, Recovery Elevator is your invitation to explore what life on the other side looks like — through candid conversations and inspiring guest stories.

Latest Episodes:

RE 398: This Moment Always Wins Oct 03, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Adam. He is 30, from Vancouver, and took his last drink on February 8, 2013.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul celebrated his eight-year recovery milestone and is thankful for all the support he gets from listeners, family, friends, and the Café RE community.

Paul's insights include: alcohol is sh!t; addiction is an invitation to make a sweeping change in your life; burning the ships is part of the journey; the opposite of addiction is connection; focus on the wins; admit you are wrong when you need to, in real-time; you have to take action; don't worry about the sobriety clock, keep doing the work; join the party - the AF movement is taking off; be kind to others, help others; be of service; leverage your drinking problem to expand your life; be mindful of the company you keep; there is nothing wrong with you; not drinking makes you a bad-ass;

[13:26] Adam has been sober for nearly ten years. He is a personal trainer, nutritionist, breathwork therapist, mental health, and sober coach. He loves cold plunges, spending time in nature, traveling, and spending time with his dogs.

Adam grew up in Vancouver and was exposed to addiction early on. He was bullied a lot in high school, which led to anxiety, depression, and insecurity. He was 13 the first time he drank or smoked weed. He knew it wasn't smart, but it gave him a sense of community. With a long family history of alcohol abuse, Adam knew he was in trouble the first time he drank.

Adam got his apartment and car at age 15. He made poor decisions, including steroids, drinking, cocaine, being in a gang, and smoking. After a death threat, he moved to another province, got a job, and his drug use escalated. He sold drugs, and it was attractive to him at the time. He was stabbed during a fight. At 16, a buddy of his died in his arms. Steroid use caused Adam to default to anger frequently. He was aggressive. Adam said it took at least ten wake-up calls before he was ready to address his addiction. He was exposed to a lot of violence and death with the people he spent time with. At 19, during a drug deal, he was kidnapped and held captive by some bad people. During that incident, he had an out-of-body experience. When he was released, he was hospitalized. He crashed when in the hospital. A spiritual awakening occurred for Adam. Adam described it as powerful, and it continues to inspire him to live a better life. The last time he used it was on his 21st birthday. He called his Mom, and she let him come home.

The first two years of sobriety were the hardest for Adam. He had lots of PTSD from his gang experience. He had two suicide attempts. Adam went to his first AA meeting. A person said to him, "If you kill yourself today, you are killing the wrong person because you don't know the person who you can become." Breathwork became a big part of his recovery. Learning to accept and demonstrate his emotions was challenging, but Adam continues to learn to manage his feelings. He worked the steps. He saw a psychologist/neurologist and was diagnosed with severe brain injury, PTSD, anxiety, and depression. None of the medications helped. Breathwork and exercise help him manage his anxiety and depression.

[57:50] Kris' Summary

After a rough week, Kris remembered, "you don't have to get sober for the rest of your life today." Trust the process.

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We are the only ones who can do this, but you don't have to do it alone.

I love you guys.

RE 397: The Ultimate Connection Sep 26, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Santino. He is 43, from Massachusetts, and took his last drink 43 days ago.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul shares that our actions are felt for seven generations in our lineage. When you quit drinking, do the inner work, the ripple effect can last 150 years.

Eckhart Tolle defines love as recognizing oneness in a world of duality. The ego craves separation, judgements. When we are drinking, we are reinforcing that divide. The worst side effect of alcohol is isolation. But when we drop the bottle, we give ourselves a chance to find love, or maybe let love find us.

Congratulations Dusty and Lotus on your recent nuptials.

Love yourself and love yourself first. Love in recovery can be rediscovering nature, it can be planting a garden, it can be zipping around on a one wheel, it can be learning a new instrument, picking up an old instrument. It can be laughter.

Make sure to stay tuned to the end of the episode. Our outro music is from one of our Café Re members, Ron.

[9:50] Santino works for a nonprofit homeless organization; he is married with a son and enjoys being a father.

Being present, in the moment and the ability to remember the moment are the early perks of sobriety for Santino. His first taste of alcohol was at age 10. He took a sip of his Dad's drink and enjoyed the taste.

Paul and Santino discussed how college culture and military culture both celebrate drinking. Santino said his drinking was normalized because of the culture of drinking in the military. His wake up calls around drinking came when he left the military. He got his first DWI and went to court ordered AA. He drank before and after the meetings.

Santino noticed a pattern of lying, about all kinds of things, but particularly about what he was drinking, when and how much. AA is now part of his life. He has learned to say "alcoholic" to be accountable for what was happening with him. He is well informed about withdrawal and his most recent experience was painful and a reckoning. Santino encourages listeners to be honest with themselves. Give yourself grace AND accountability. He did a 72 hour fast. He listens to the Recovery Elevator podcast. He burned the ships with his childhood friend, his sister and his wife.

The Uvalde shooting had a major impact on Santino and became an impetus for him to quit drinking.

[55:20] Paul's Summary

Paul introduces Ron who is a musician who wrote and performed today's outro music.

[56:51] We walk each other home.

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We took the elevator down. We need to take the stairs back up.

I love you guys.

RE 396: The Brain and Alcohol | Genetic Predisposition Sep 19, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Rene. He is 33, from California, and took his last drink January 18, 2022.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Alcohol has many biochemical and neurochemical effects on the brain. There are dramatic changes in the neurons that control the release of serotonin when we consume alcohol. Serotonin is the feel-good chemical and 80% of it is created in the gut. When we mix alcohol and serotonin it gets converted into acetaldehyde. This acetaldehyde acts as a toxin.

Alcohol changes the relationship between the hypothalamus, the pituitary gland, and the adrenals. The adrenals release chemicals called epinephrine and cortisol, which are involved in the longer-term stress response.

People who consistently drink are more stressed out at baseline. They have more cortisol released form their adrenal glands even when they are not drinking. Consequently, they feel more stressed and more anxiety when they are not drinking. Many scientists agree that stress is the number one contributor to disease.

When we overload the brain with alcohol, it's almost too much to process and the activity of neurons in the hippocampus, which is involved with memory formation, are strained and then they completely shut off – that is a blackout. You can still be functioning, some high functioning, but the memory forming part of your brain, the hippocampus, clocks out.

Many believe that alcoholism is hereditary. Recent studies, including one of twins conducted by Dr. Gabor Mate indicate genetics may not be as much of a contributor as we once thought. Epigenetics indicate that environment influences gene expression and gene mutations. Science is beginning to accept that environmental factors cause or influence addictions. The ten-fold increase in alcoholism supports that theory.

Dr. Andrew Huberman's podcast provides much more detail on the science behind many of these theories. Take a listen if you would like to learn more:

https://open.spotify.com/episode/2ebY3WNejLNbK47emgjd1E?si=bf71f9f038bc4826

[14:37] Rene has been sober for over six months. He is 34 and a single Dad He is an entrepreneur and enjoys going to the gym, exploring the outdoors, hiking and the beach.

Rene is first generation American, and his family is very supportive. He grew up around drinking, it was normalized.

He got drunk once during his senior year of high school. He didn't drink again until after he broke up with his first girlfriend years later. Drinking became a reward, then it became a daily habit. Working in the restaurant industry, drinking was expected. He was fired once for drinking.

It didn't occur to Rene that drinking was a problem. He began counseling and the counselor recommended AA. Rene found it easy to see the similarities; he felt like he found his people. He was planning to join the military when he learned he was about to become a father. Eventually, he won sole custody of his daughter which dashed his hopes of joining the military. The combination of issues sent him back to drinking. He controlled his drinking for over a year, and it worked until it didn't.

Rene went back to AA and got a sponsor and a fitness coach. Consistency helps him maintain his sobriety. He is feeling mentally and physically strong.

[57:35] Kris's Summary

Seasonal shifts can put you on edge. Share your experience: kris@recoveryelevator.com.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

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We took the elevator down. We need to take the stairs back up.

I love you guys.

RE 395: Can You Have Fun Without Alcohol? Sep 12, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Jim. He is 50, from New York, and has been sober since June 19, 2022.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul and our listeners would like to hear from prior podcast guests. Please send us a note (approximately 200 words) to let us know how you are doing. We would love an update on your sobriety journey. Email: info@recoveryelevator.com

Yes! You can have fun without alcohol. Paul just finished hosting the Bozeman retreat, and it was FUN. One of the highlights was an ecstatic dance party. Imagine 60ish sober people dancing on a basketball court in the afternoon. There was also a silent dance party on the last night. Paul loved watching and participating in pure joy and fun.

Sober fun is a learned skill, but it's worth it. You learn to have fun without an external substance. Life is like a movie. Consider yourself the director. You can guide or nudge it any way you want. Leave room for other actors in your life and let them act their way. It makes the experience rich. If you are not having fun, check your inner narrative. At times we let external rules guide us when we have fun. Forget those rules and have fun now.

Stay tuned to the end for a poem written by one of our listeners, and today's outro music was written and performed by Michael P, a member of Café RE.

[10:02] Jim has been sober for two weeks. He had almost two years and drank, and now he is back on track. He's had 699 sober days in the last 700. Jim is married with two kids and loves reading on his front porch.

Jim attributes his recent field research to not using his tools.

Growing up, Jim drank in high school with his buddies. The quest for beer was their primary goal. College was more of the same. After college, it didn't feel as good. Drinking is part of his work culture and was celebrated. His first attempt at sobriety was at age 25. He stayed sober for three months, then returned to drinking. It was part of his job, his social circles, and his life always included drinking. Alcohol pushed back his fears.

In his early 40s, he started to realize he had a problem but didn't know how to go about quitting. He didn't love AA. By 45, he knew his drinking had become unsustainable. Drinking was like a low-grade hum that perpetually played for him. He began drinking alone at home, where nobody would bother him, and he could drink like he wanted.

Gradually he began exploring sobriety. He would accumulate a few months and do more field research. He read "This Naked Mind." When the pandemic hit, he decided to make more efforts to maintain sobriety. He joined Café RE in July of 2020, which was his turning point. Earlier this year, he started traveling more for work. He now realizes he stopped using his tools, including Café RE. He only drank for one day. It was scary; he was a wreck and knew he couldn't do this anymore.

Jim writes every day. It helps him get the thoughts out of his head and on paper.

[49:33] Paul's Summary

Paul reads a poem, "Connection," by Kelley A, Café RE Go Group.

[51:05] Outro Music, The Light Inside, by Michael P.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

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We are the only ones who can do this, but we don't have to do it alone.

I love you guys.

RE 394: Fixin' to Grow Sep 05, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Kristie. She is 47, from Michigan, and has been sober since May 2020.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Kris

Return to school is here and is the catalyst for conversations about expectations. Growing up, the letter on the report card was the measure of success. Kris has begun to consider praising the work instead of the result.

Neuroscientists have identified two different mindsets: the fixed mindset and the growth mindset. A fixed mindset looks at intelligence as static. The effort is pointless – you've got it, or you don't. It's all about the result. The growth mindset is more about a learning goal. The effort is seen as a path to mastery.

What is your goal in recovery? Language matters. Think about the metrics. If you are fixed on being alcohol-free and have a slip, you might feel like a failure. Embrace the growth in yourself and let that be enough.

[11:29] Kristie has been surise for two years. The word sober doesn't resonate with Kristy. She wants to be fun and exciting and enjoy every moment. Kristie believes that language creates our reality. Through journaling, she came up with the word surise – it brings her energy, light, and love. Kristie believes surise is yours – the opportunity to be your authentic self.

Kristie is from West Michigan and is an academic advisor. She is married and has two daughters. She loves traveling, the beach, the woods, nature, and connecting with people.

Growing up, her parents rarely drank, but they did smoke. After her parents' divorce, she assumed much responsibility for her younger brothers. She was the conduit between her parents. She was involved in theater, student government, and dancing.

Kristie went to college and was ready to rescind the role of the responsible oldest child. Earning a degree was essential to Kristie. She went to school and partied and enjoyed drinking and being social. She adopted the work hard, play hard mentality and always drank to get a buzz. She put herself into some risky situations and was raped. Alcohol helped numb the pain, and she learned to carry on.

Kristie met her husband in college, and drinking was part of their relationship. Drinking was a coping mechanism for the stress of parenting. Over the years, her drinking progressed from beer to wine to vodka. After her father died, Kristie's drinking became very dark. Drinking was a reward, a way to avoid loneliness, and it served many purposes.

Several years ago, Kristie's husband announced that he was planning to quit drinking. He did, and she couldn't follow suit. After her father-in-law died, they were both drinking again and went backward. Kristie read "This Naked Mind" and listened to Annie Grace's podcast. Paul Churchill was Annie's guest, and something clicked for Kristie. She could hear herself in other people's stories. She joined Café RE in 2020 and went to her first women's AA meeting. She quit drinking for several months and returned to drinking when the pandemic began. In May of '20, she found a small group of RE members all over the US, and they held each other accountable.

Kris's Summary

Look at your mindset. Ask yourself without judgment, are you holding on to absolutes? What is your measure of success? Do you find joy in the results or the process? Wherever you are is okay. Show yourself grace. Change the narrative. Surrender to the process. Let go of old ideas.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

You can find more information about our events

Resources

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We are the only ones who can do this, but we don't have to do it alone.

I love you guys.

RE 393: Hello Listeners Aug 29, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Alina. She is 32, from Northern California, and has been sober since June 20, 2022.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

If you are in a cycle of continuous Day ones, keep showing up and listening to the podcast. We believe in you.

If you have quit drinking, don't forget incredible short memory can get us any time. Don't look back. That old way of life didn't work. Keep building the new.

If you are a normal drinker here to support someone, we are glad you are here. The opposite of addiction is connection, and we appreciate your support. The healing process is a collaborative effort that requires both parties to come together.

If you are in your teens or twenties, you are learning vital lessons and building resilience. When the dust settles, and your normal drinker friends begin to phase out of the party years as they marry and have kids, you will have acquired unique life skills that your friends don't have. Your unique skills revolve around presence, listening to your intuition, taking life as it comes, loving yourself and others. You're more grounded. Your roots go deeper. Also, be patient. I think it's harder to quit drinking at a younger age, but with time, and each year around the sun, some of those challenges get easier. Time is working in your favor.

If you treat or support someone who struggles with, what is addiction? Addictions are adaptive behaviors leveraged to survive in unhealthy environments. Addictions are present when something is out of balance or not in harmony with our environment.

Keep the thinking mind in check. The mind has 60,00-70,000 thoughts per day, and science has shown that most of them are not valid. Keep doing the inner work, find your people, and show the world how it's done.

[13:04] Alina has been sober for two weeks. She has three kids, loves being outside, cooking, and reading. She immigrated to the US from Ukraine, is the youngest of seven, and had her first drink at age 16. Growing up, she had the impression that an alcoholic was someone who drank every day.

In 2018, Alina had her first blackout. She resolved to do something different. She listened to "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace. Moderation never worked. During the pandemic, Alina went on vacation to Mexico and drank daily. Alina continued to learn about recovery, and she learned to see the similarities in other people's stories. She is an active member of Café RE and enjoys the chats.

Paul's Summary

Listeners, stick together. Choose love over fear. Choose peace over being right. If the conditions are right, we bloom as a species. If the conditions aren't right, we don't. Humans are so close to blooming on a large scale, and addiction is fast-forwarding this process. Addiction forces us to surrender, open up, and say yes to the flow of life.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

You can find more information about our events

Resources

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Lighten Up.

I love you guys.

RE 392: One Week Without Alcohol Aug 22, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Megan. She is 34, from Florida, and has been sober since June 22, 2021.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Stacking days, which is a day here, and a couple of days there, is fantastic, but your body and mind will respond faster to continuous sobriety, and I think a week is the most doable chunk of time. I know for me, even 30 days was overwhelming.

Day 1: Drink water, then more water. Eat at least one full, healthy meal. Your body is detoxing today. Anxiety is part of this. Embrace the process. Remember the pain. Exercise will help with sleep. Sleep won't be great, and night sweats are expected. Expect cravings, and ice cream is your friend.

Day 2: Expect to be tired, exhausted, and anxious. Drink water, sleep, eat ice cream and worry about sugar later.

Day 3: Sleep should improve and welcome back appetite. Eat a healthy breakfast.

Day 4: Your body is healing. Drink water, sleep and eat (sugar does help with cravings.)

Day 5: What happened? You may be sleeping better, and you are hungry. Eat some healthy food and don't worry about calories. Your brain is coming back on, which has two sides: your cognition is better, and the thinking mind is on overdrive.

Day 6: Your confidence is building, and your energy begins to return. Inflammation begins to dissipate.

Day 7: Sleep! Cellular restoration. Mental clarity improves.

Tips for week one:

Drink plenty of water

Exercise for at least 20 minutes. It gets endorphins going

Eat at least one meal with healthy greens

Put pen to paper and capture your insights

Remember, it's a week and not forever.

Seven days is the start of the healing process. Your seven days await – go get 'em.

Paul describes PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) in this video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=esHLnz-BUXw&t=1s

[15:40] Megan has been sober for over a year. She lives in Orlando, has two kids, is a social worker, and is getting a master's in criminal justice. She loves to travel and has been to 25 countries. She loves the beach, music, theater, working out, and theme parks.

Megan grew up in a conservative religious home with no alcohol in the house. Her grandfather was a recovering alcoholic. Alcohol was a big part of her family history, and Megan experienced a lot of generational trauma. Megan's father passed away when she was 15, and her childhood abruptly ended. Coincidentally she had her first drink that year.

Megan started using alcohol as a coping mechanism in her early twenties. Her marriage, work, and being a grown-up were a lot to manage. In 2021 she started working for a men's prison, which changed her life. Giving something back and witnessing other people's trauma helped her harness her inner strength. Megan was able to share her story and learned to adopt solid self-care practices. Slowly, she started to heal.

Today, Megan sees sobriety as a beautiful way to live, even if incarcerated. She credits the men at the prison with helping her to get sober. Her sobriety tools include self-care, Café RE, leveraging an accountability partner, focusing on the good in life, and great friends. Instagram: magicalsobermama

Kris's Summary

Together is always better. Kris just returned from the Bozeman retreat, and he loved getting to see all the participants.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

You can find more information about our events

Resources:

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Recovery Elevator-

We are the only ones who can do this, but we don't have to do it alone.

I love you guys.

RE 391: What do You Want to Hear? Aug 15, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Polly. She is 50, from Minnesota, and has been sober since December 23, 2021.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul shares that he created the podcast to create a new level of accountability for himself when he quit drinking. He is grateful for his listeners and proud of how the podcast has evolved since the first recording. Paul would like to hear more from listeners about what they want to hear during the intro portion of the podcast.

Email Paul at: info@recoveryelevator.com

[10:09] Polly has been sober for six months. She is a high school English teacher, has two daughters, and has been married for 24 years. She enjoys animals, running, the outdoors, camping, and family adventures.

Polly's parents drank, but not to excess. Turning 21 was a right of passage, and Polly waited to drink until then. In college, Polly partied, partially as an act of rebellion. After graduating, drinking was a weekend social thing but not an issue. Polly's husband was not a daily drinker, which was initially a red flag. There was drinking everywhere, from sporting events to book clubs to unwinding from work.

As time progressed, Polly started hiding how much she drank from her husband. She slowly started gaining weight, and drinking/eating/negative emotions became a spiral for Polly.

Polly's husband asked her to get treatment and told her she was on the verge of losing her family, friends, and job. She was in treatment over the Christmas holiday. She was violently ill during detox, and the detox nurse told her never to forget how sick she was. She appreciated how much people embraced her during treatment. She vowed to herself that she would give back and described treatment as the best experience of her life.

After leaving treatment, Polly leveraged the tools she learned in treatment and recognized that cravings are temporary. Alcohol still calls to her at six months sober, but she works on it daily. Her husband quit drinking a week before Polly went into treatment, which made her home more supportive. Polly is outspoken about her cravings and regularly asks for help. She attends AA meetings; she has a sober community and is transparent about her addiction with those close to her. She talks to her daughters regularly about her addiction. Polly hopes her experience ends her family's addiction cycle so her daughters never have to choose treatment. Polly describes sobriety as the most challenging thing she has ever done, but she is also proud of her success. She carries some shame for what she put her family through while drinking.

Paul's Summary

Paul believes adding joy, fun, and creativity to your life helps you to maintain sobriety and live a life you don't need to escape. Paul reminds listeners not to take themselves too seriously, to find joy, and don't let healing be painful.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

You can find more information about our events

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Recovery Elevator-

Lighten Up.

I love you guys.

RE 390: The Secret to Change Aug 08, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Jess. She is 37, from Ontario, and has been sober since May 7, 2022.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE IT! Anyone who doesn't quit quitting eventually creates distance from alcohol. "The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not fighting the old, but building the new." Socrates. This journey is about transformation. It's an invitation to create a life where alcohol isn't needed. It's about letting part of you go. It's about saying goodbye to the aspects of your life that aren't working,

Paul suggests fighting the old is a waste, and addiction is a messenger letting you know your life is out of balance. Desperation leads to surrender, which leads to openness and willingness. Don't resist change as it is one constant you can count on.

Music Submissions - email edited versions to: info@recoveryelevator.com

[11:31] Jess has been sober for two months. She is an accountant for a rehab hospital and enjoys reading, camping, cooking, and paddleboarding with her dog. She lives in Ontario, Canada, and has two children.

Jess came from a family of drinkers. Her Dad was a heavy drinker. She started experimenting with alcohol in her early teens. At age 14, her Dad died suddenly, and her Mom's mental health deteriorated as a result.

Jess hosted parties and smoked pot. Since her family didn't talk about things, drinking was an escape. All her friends drank and smoked, so it seemed commonplace. At one point, she started skipping school, and her sister intervened. Jess slowed down and appreciated the attention from her sister.

After high school, she took some random jobs and habitually stopped working, excusing her behavior with feigned sicknesses. She made lots of excuses but never addressed the root problem. She quit her jobs before she got fired. Her temper flared when her drinking hit a certain point, and she became a monster. Jess moved back in with her Mom to curb expenses, and her drinking slowed slightly. Six months later, she moved in with her boyfriend, and they were drinking buddies.

Jess got pregnant and abstained throughout her pregnancy but picked up again as soon as the baby was born. She bought into the "mommy wine culture ."Her Mom had dementia. Being around someone with dementia was difficult, and Jess' drinking escalated. Eventually, she went to an online AA meeting and cried. She felt so welcomed. She counted minutes to hours, and finally, it got easier. She is now grateful to be present with her kids and is learning to like herself.

Kris's Summary

Kris is looking forward to Recovery Elevator's sober retreat. Kris has learned to listen to others, be present, and hold space for them. He has fun with his sober people. Kris encourages listeners to find their way to go deeper and have some fun. Challenge yourself to take the next step.

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

You can find more information about our events

Resources

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Recovery Elevator-

It all starts from the inside out.

I love you guys.

RE 389: Journal Speak Aug 01, 2022

Show notes

Today we have Christy. She is 42, from Denmark, and has been sober since April 5, 2022.

Today's Sponsor: Café RE Use the promo code CONNECT for one free month in the alcohol-free community Café RE.

Highlights from Paul

Paul talks about "journal speak," an informal, off-the-cuff style of journaling. The point is to get unprocessed, uncomfortable emotions out of you. It makes you feel less alone and more connected to yourself. This is a significant component connecting with the raw, unheard, vulnerable, pissed-off version of you. When you feel a craving coming on, this is one of the best times to do this because a part of you is screaming to be heard. Paul suggests starting with 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night. Make it informal, with no spelling or grammar check, and toss or burn it when you finish. Generally, you will find that you feel better and have cleared your mind.

[10:58] Christy has been sober for eighty days. She lives in Denmark, is from North Carolina, and is an agile coach in IT. She is married with two children,

Christy describes herself as a boring child who didn't get into trouble. She was active in sports and music. Alcohol was always present in her life. She remembers the DARE program in high school and decided to avoid drugs and alcohol. She met her husband and married young. Christy drank socially, but there were no red flags.

In 2004, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer. He was age 47. Christy knew she needed to be strong. He passed in 2007. Unaware of how to process the grief, Christy pushed through, went through some counseling, and had a baby. After giving birth, she experienced anxiety and high blood pressure. She spiraled downward. Alcohol was a great way to shut down her brain. She gave birth to her second son and immediately returned to drinking and felt okay because the Mommy wine culture made it alright.

When moving to Denmark, she knew she needed to address her drinking because she had started sneaking alcohol. The geographic solution didn't work. The trauma of her Dad's death brought on emotions Christy could not process. She began taking days off and going to the liquor store early while her husband was at work and her kids were in school. Her drinking progressed, and she could secretly consume a whole bottle of wine. Her panic attacks got worse, and she didn't realize it was the progression of her drinking that was causing the panic attacks.

Christy told her doctor about her problem. She started listening to recovery podcasts and saw a new counselor to deal with her grief and health anxiety. Her self-talk was, "don't think, drink." The anxiety was debilitating. She was depressed and had the shakes and the shame of uncontrollable drinking.

COVID and having the kids home 24/7 was challenging. When she got to the point where her children had to put her to bed, she knew she had hit rock bottom. Her marriage was in jeopardy.

Christy enjoys Café RE and often hosts some of the chats. She attends AA and Smart Recovery as well. She has learned it is okay to be vulnerable and not strong. Leaning on her husband is okay. She no longer has to be "the rock." Her anxiety has improved, and her counseling is helping. Her greatest joy is that her son says he has his mom back.

Paul's Summary

Paul talks about the anxiety that came with trying to fix his printer. He loves that he has learned to let emotions flow through him. Paul believes in all the listeners.

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