Real Recovery Talk

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107 - 5 Min or Less: How DARE you take someone else's inventory! Jan 17, 2020

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How dare you take someone else's inventory!!! Not!

Have you been told not to take other people's inventory? Well, maybe you should not heed that advice. Reason being, if you spot it you got it.

Often times, taking inventory of others is a mirror reflection of character defects that I may own myself. In addition, I had to learn how to be open to allowing others to take my inventory. If I am lying to myself, how do I know? You can't spot self-deception by yourself.

Welcoming the feedback of others, and ultimately asking for others to take your inventory can be a necessary tool to achieve an entire psychic change. In conclusion, do not take the inventory of others so that you can be critical of them; take the inventory of others so that you can advise your own personal growth. Never be afraid to hear the feedback of others if it will mean making personal progress.

106 - 5 Min or Less: No is an "OK" Answer Jan 16, 2020

Show notes

5 Minutes or Less

No is an "OK" Answer

Often times it is so hard for parents and loved ones to say NO to the ones that they care about the most. The unfortunate thing about that is, sometimes because we never say NO, it can drive someone deeper and deeper into their addiction.

I spend a lot of time talking with parents and loved ones, trying to convince then that it is OK to draw boundaries! There is nothing wrong with saying "No, I am not going to pay your cell phone bill this month" or "No, I am not going to loan you $20 dollars for gas"

Addicts and Alcoholics will take someones "niceness" and turn it into a "weakness". It's like the ol' saying, "you give an inch, they will take a mile" Now this doesn't mean, go home and throw your alcoholic son or daughter out oof the house tonight! But it does mean, take a look at yourself, and ask yourself, Am I part of the problem?

Am I being to nice?
Am I enabling this person to use drugs and drink?
What am I doing to provide for this person, while they continue to go out every night and sometimes not even come home?

The list goes on and on, I think you get the point. Its OK to say NO!

105 - How do people get addicted to drugs in the first place? Jan 16, 2020

Show notes

Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Look for our new daily shows, which are five minutes or under! Listen in for yourself or for a friend. You can also find our new short episodes on our Facebook page.

Today I will talk about the process and path of a person moving from being a "normie" to using drugs and alcohol and becoming an addict.

In this episode, I talk about the progression of drug, alcohol, sex - any behavior which can become addictive. Many addictions have the same process from start to finish. However, I'll primarily talk about the four reasons people get addicted to drugs and alcohol.

Reason #1: People are trying to mask another problem or issue such as mental illness. Drugs and alcohol help cope with mental illness and make them feel better, or people who have mental illness believe that drugs and alcohol help them to cope with and deal with their mental illness. In my experience, I see the opposite happen. Drugs and alcohol are not a solution, especially schizophrenia.

Reason #2: Drugs and alcohol relieve stress. Addicts in this category have a hard time dealing with stress or have always used drugs and alcohol to avoid dealing with a life stressor. This is a perpetual cycle = worsening issues, more drugs and alcohol, the stress doesn't go away, the situation gets worse, so the person takes more drugs and alcohol.

Reason #3: Environment - the addict is around others who are using drugs and alcohol. Alcohol was the love of my life, introduced to me by my friends. At 12, I tried Zima with a group of older kids, who I was easily influenced by teenagers who were older than me. As long as someone else was worse than me, that would reinforce that I wasn't an alcoholic.

Reason #4: Medical intervention with addictive painkillers causes addiction. When the issue which was causing the pain was resolved, our body goes through withdrawal. Many IV heroin addicts started with opiate painkillers used after an accident and injury. These people usually don't have a family history of drugs and alcohol.

Listen in to find out more detail about the four paths to drug and alcohol addiction and how families react to their loved one's addiction.

Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

Show Notes:

[05:20] Reason #1 People get addicted to drugs because they are trying to cope with a mental illness.
[08:25] Schizophrenia is negatively affected by marijuana use.
[10:00] Reason #2 Drugs and alcohol relieve stress
[12:14] Parents and loved ones always ask "Why can't they just stop?"
[15:50] Reason #3 The addict is surrounded by drugs and alcohol.
[19:13] Reason #4 Addiction from the use of opiate drugs prescribed by a doctor.

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104 - 5 Min or Less: Wear Recovery like a Loose Garment Jan 15, 2020

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5 Minutes or Less 1/15/20

Wear Recovery like a loose garment

Recovery isn't something that is supposed to stress us out! We are being given the opportunity to start a new life, and we can create it however we want to create it! Often times people look at sobriety as a "death sentence" and think since they are sober now they they are not going to be able to have fun and now their life is going to suck!

That is so. Far. From the truth! We should not be so stuck up! Enjoy the process and everything that goes with it! There are new experiences that we are going to have and people that we are going to meet, and it is because we GOT SOBER!

Dont let the idea of sobriety hold you back. Yes, the decisions that we make moving forward need to have our sobriety in mind. We do not want to put ourselves at risk to relapse. But don't let sobriety choke you out! It isn't supposed to be miserable!

103 - 5 Min or Less: Spirituality in its Simplest Form Jan 14, 2020

Show notes

Spirituality and using substances to connect

Do you struggle with the concept of spirituality or God in recovery? Check out this "five minute or less" video. Were we not trying to have spiritual experiences through alcohol and substances? Come on all you hippie ravers!?! Were we not trying to connect with others through social lubricant a.k.a. alcohol? Do they not refer to alcohol as spirits? While Recovery is not black and white, maybe this excerpt will get you thinking about spirituality and it's principals? Do you want nothing to do with the concept, yet demonstrate through active addiction that you want everything to do with it?

102 - 5 Min or Less: Has It Happened "Yet" Jan 13, 2020

Show notes

5 Minutes or Less

Im not that bad, yet! Don't let the "Yet" get ya! As addicts and alcoholics we tend to compare ourselves to other people and circumstances.

I remember sitting at the bar and looking at all the other people around me that are "for sure alcoholics" and comparing myself to them. I would tell myself things like, "When I get that bad then I will make a change" or "I haven't gotten a DUI, YET" or "I still have my job and I am able to pay my bills". I would tell myself these things even after I had been sitting at the bar for the past 8 hours!

Little did I know at that time, all of those "Yet's" were soon to come. I was in such denial, that I would look at people around me and my surroundings and convince myself that I didn't have a problem!

If you find yourself in a position to where you are trying to convince yourself you don't have a problem, because X,Y,Z hasn't happened to you, think of it this way.

YOU ARE TRYING TO CONVINCE YOURSELF YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM, WHICH MEANS YOU MIGHT HAVE A PROBLEM!

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101 - 5 Min or Less: What if they are not ready to get sober? Jan 12, 2020

Show notes

What if they don't want to get sober?

When I am talking to parents or loved ones, they sometimes have the response "If they don't want to get sober then what is the point in them going to treatment?" Although this does make somewhat sense, it isn't entirely true.

See, when someone is seeking treatment or goes to treatment, chances are they are not WANTING to go in the first place. Maybe they are, but chances are they are not. That is OK. Addiction Treatment can be a very scary thing to do, especially if we have never done it before! As addicts and alcoholics we tend to want to stay where we are most comfortable, in our addiction. So when presented with the "option" of going to treatment, it is not a surprise that they say they don't really want to get sober or "I don't think I need treatment"

My recommendation is always, get someone to treatment whatever way possible. They don't have to come "willingly" or have some overly positive attitude about going to treatment. The fact is, they are going and that is all that matters. Leave the rest up to the professionals.

If your loved one gets involved in a community that is healthy and fosters good sobriety, they will organically become that as well. You become a product of your environment, ya know?

100 - 5 Min or Less: Can I have Fun Sober? Jan 11, 2020

Show notes

Can I be sober and have fun at the same time?

Often times when people get sober they think that they are buying into this new idea that they are going to live boring mundane lives. Done get me wrong, I do know people that are super boring and would be in better moods if they were drunk. Those are people we like too call "dry drunks" 😂

Sobriety and Recovery can be boring if we don't take the initiative to make it fun! We need to find people that we can surround ourselves with that are going to help us enjoy our new fund sobriety.

I tell people all the time, find new stuff to do. Have new experiences. Without those, sobriety can be boring. Let's face it, if sobriety can't be fun, then what is the point?

Remember, it takes initiative. We have to make our sobriety what we want it to be or we are going to go back to what we know best. Drugs and Alcohol 💪✌️

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99 - 5 Min or Less: Staying the Course: Navigating Life and its twists and turns while sober Jan 10, 2020

Show notes

5 Minutes or Under

Stay the Course

The ever changing landscape of addiction can be rather daunting. At first it's beautiful, sunny, perfect weather and no storms. We are just enjoying the weather

Eventually though, the inevitable happens.

Storms start to come through.

What do we do when this happens? Often times addicts and alcoholics will let this turn into an excuse to drink or drug. Rather than looking at the situation as an opportunity, we can look at it as oppression. "Why did this have to happen to me?"

We can't let that happen. When life smacks us in the face, which it will. I promise. We need to be able to look at it through sober eyes. Ask yourself:

how can I grow through this situation?
Will I grow mentally, physically, spiritually?
What is God or The Universe trying to show me?
Once I get to the other side of this situation, what might I have learned

Let's start handling life circumstances differently. Let's not use them as a reason to pick up. Let's look at life circumstances as opportunity rather than oppression.

LETS STAY THE COURSE

98 - 5 Min or Less: Think It Through Before You Pick Up Jan 09, 2020

Show notes

Many people don't fully understand that a relapse starts WAY before one actually picks up a drink or a drug. It is very important to understand that you have to think it through when you are faced with the temptation of relapse. Think of the consequences that you could face when picking up that drink or drug.

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