Real Recovery Talk

Latest Episodes:

97 - What are the differences between Addiction Treatment and Outside Support Programs? Jan 09, 2020

Show notes

Check out my new website https://realrecoverytalk.com/ where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Today I will talk with Benjamin B., and we reflect on our holiday musings. How being clean was a much different experience than showing up high. Being sober is more work; however, Ben was able to participate in the holiday events now that he is sober and received much more out of the experience while sober.

In this episode, Ben talks about how he really is in tune with 12 Step Programs. Learn how Ben benefited from treatment in a facility and the reasons why and when you should choose a treatment facility over a support group for rehab.

Ben and I talk about the "$30,000 big book" from AA and how the founder of AA went through three types of treatments before he developed an AA program. Why support programs may not address the underlying symptoms such as childhood abuse, trauma, and PTSD. Twelve steps are applicable, however, not specific for healing trauma. A therapist who can meet with you one-on-one on the outside of the program will assist you in learning how to heal the trauma, which is fueling the alcohol and drug addiction and move you towards emotional balance. The result and effect of personal counseling will fan out throughout all facets of your life.

Treatment centers give you the added benefit of the community. Community to be supported and feel comfortable with others who are suffering from addiction and may have similar challenges. Support groups are optional and do not create a need to go to multiple meetings. Treatment centers give you the support of professionals for evaluation and take you through the process, working alongside you for your time at treatment.

Listen in to find out what treatment centers can offer and who can benefit from a treatment center with a more positive outcome than only participating in a support group. Find out why accountability, community, and support make the big difference for your success in detox and healing.

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Show Notes:

[05:31] Ben talks about his experience with 12 Step Programs.
[07:51] Trying AA, church or another recovery method first may not be your best choice.
[10:15] Combining a program with a counselor or psychologist who you see outside the program to work through trauma can be a good path to recovery.
[12:37] What you can take from support groups and support therapy.
[17:50] Go to multiple meetings and / or multiple support groups to find one which is a good fit for your personality.
[19:38] Numbers and data for treatment center success.
[22:26] Clients see the support they have during treatment and building support outside of treatment.
[24:30] Recap of the elements which support your treatment at a facility.
[26:45] Parents should stay out of treatment until the client is ready for outside responsibility.
[29:30] The importance of seeing a counselor or therapist on a weekly basis.
[33:24] People who have been diagnosed with a mental illness, when they come clean, find out they are not mentally ill.
[34:59] The winning formula for recovery.

Links and Resources:

96 - Relapsing after 5 years sober - What Glenn has learned in his Sobriety Journey Dec 30, 2019

Show notes

Check out my new website https://realrecoverytalk.com/ where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery.

Today I will talk to a former drug addict, Glenn, who almost lost everything because of his addiction to drugs. Many addicts come from a background where addiction is present or the environment they lived in as a child promotes drug and alcohol abuse, however, Glenn is an exception to this rule. His family background is from a supportive family with a stay-at-home mom and a dad who worked out with him at the gym every week.

Sports were big for Glenn, especially wrestling. He excelled at wrestling and had the opportunity to wrestle in college. When the time came to sign to go to college, Glenn told his dad he didn't want to wrestle in college. His dad was surprised but gave him his blessing, and Glenn attended college. Glen decided to not wrestle after his senior year because wrestling was too high pressure.

Glenn talks about how his workouts and winning were addictions, and he won't play a game unless he could win. His friends in college were all leaders of the sport they played. This was his main group of friends. Glenn and his buddies would go hang out in the woods and drink, usually ending up passing out in the basement of his house. Glenn's parents would not allow alcohol in the house, but they were OK with his friends sleeping over.

In 2008, his dad had a stroke and was fired from his job because he couldn't perform his work duties. Being the only income in the household, Glenn decided to pitch in to help pay the mortgage for his dad and mom. He secured a job with a local union that paid well and continued to drink on the weekends. One weekend he fell and separated his shoulder snowboarding. His doctor prescribed pain killers, and after his doctor cut him off, he went through detox. One of his co-workers started selling him his personally prescribed pain killers, which led Glenn down the road to addiction at age 19.

One of his friends offered him heroin, and Glenn was addicted in a week. Heroin was less expensive and gave him a better feeling at age 21. He continued to work his job, but called out often and didn't get paid much. Glenn would only go to work when he needed money for drugs.

He was pulled over a few months later and was arrested with a DWAI. His parents wanted him to go to rehab, he started isolating himself. When he wanted to go home to his parents, they refused to take him in, and Glenn checked himself into rehab. His family knew something was wrong, but no one would address the problem.

Listen in to find out how Glenn found solace in the structure of sober living at Rock Recovery Center, why getting out of the town he lived in was a positive for him, how finding out about his son having a brain tumor affected him and how he lost his sobriety after drinking on a cruise vacation with his family.

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Show Notes:

[04:04] Glenn talks about his life as a child and his environment growing up.
[12:16] How Glenn started drinking in college with other leaders in sports.
[14:30] Glenn's new addiction to painkillers.
[17:37] Glenn is introduced to heroin.
[20:35] How Glenn's addiction affected his relationship with his parents.
[26:13] What Glenn was able to get away from when he came to Florida for rehab.
[28:21] After getting clean, getting married, Glenn falls back into addiction.
[29:40] Glenn's mindset while living at the hospital with his wife to take care of his son.
[30:56] Glenn decided to not go back to meetings after five years of being sober.
[31:37] Glenn's experience with drinking.
[33:35] Alcohol can get you re-addicted even if you didn't drink as an addict.
[37:18] How getting off your diet is similar to getting back onto drugs.
[38:35] Glenn relapsed for six months then ran out of money.

Links and Resources:

95 - No More Excuses - Three reasons people won't get SOBER Dec 20, 2019

Show notes

Today I will talk about the most common rehab myths, boil down the real issues, dissect and talk about each myth piece by piece.

You may give yourself excuses as to why you don't want to be clean and sober. There are reasons which may be playing over and over again in your head, which are preventing you from getting clean and sober. Or maybe you are the person who loves an addict, and you are making excuses for them not to enter rehab.

The biggest fear I commonly hear about from clients is the fear of the withdrawal process. More poignantly, the first five to ten days of recovery. This is the most intense part of the recovery process. Other factors that affect withdrawal are the types of drugs used, the frequency and amount of drugs used, the combination of drugs and alcohol, and prescription medication addiction. These are the most common factors which will play into how long and intense the withdrawal process will take for an individual.

While the withdrawal process may be uncomfortable, some tools can assist you in moving through the process to get to the other side. I know from personal experience, this process cannot be bypassed.

The two most intense addictions to move past are alcohol and anti-anxiety drugs. You can die from detoxing from these two if you do not have medical supervision when you are moving through this withdrawal. Removing these chemicals from your body is hard on your brain, and there can be medical effects such as seizures.

Heroin, crack cocaine, and opiate addiction are going to be more of a "psychological detox". There is very little chance of dying from these types of detox. Under medical supervision, the process can be better with detox medication in a detox facility. I believe these medications should be used only in a medical environment.

These reasons are not an excuse to not go through the detox process. Ultimately, I ended up realizing withdrawal is going to happen, but that it's better when you can go through this process at a facility.

If your only rehab option is to detox at home, here are guidelines to follow for recovery:

Stay hydrated with water
Ask the family to remove alcohol from the house
Take away all temptations of drugs and alcohol from your home
Ask your family members not to do drugs or drink around you
Find a supportive community, a support group or other people who can help you through the process

I talk about how people say they aren't like other people who are addicted. The common identity is you and the other people at the center have had drugs and alcohol destroy their lives. If you are thinking you are not like the others in recovery because you have a job or a car and you're not homeless, you may never be able to get sober. This is a barrier and insecurity to sobriety.

Others say they won't know who they are without drugs and alcohol. The person on drugs isn't the emotional or mental person you see before you- this is the person who is addicted. Decision-making is fueled by their addiction. When you have been driven by drugs and alcohol for years, the person you see is not the real person inside. The fourteen years I spent drinking had molded me into somebody that didn't know life without alcohol. I had to get sober - I had to submit to the fact that I had to learn how to relive my life.

People who get sober come from all walks of life. From janitors to car salesman to executives are all "cut from the same cloth." We are all human, and there is going to be conflict; however, this is a part of life. You learn how to be challenged and overcome these challenges.

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Show Notes:

[03:30] Reasons you could be playing over and over again to prevent you from being clean and sober.
[05:02] The withdrawal process is uncomfortable, but with the right tools, you can move through the process.
[10:05] Wanting to avoid the fallout of detoxification from withdrawal is not an excuse to avoid getting sober.
[11:37] Guidelines to follow for recovery if you are detoxing outside of a medical facility
[14:31] You're in the same boat as others who are going through and have been through recovery.
[16:57] What addicts who are not successful think about.
[21:56] My personal example of how I became an alcoholic.
[24:48] How my life revolved around drinking and how I had to reinvent myself.
[28:04] These things are easy for me to say now, but not easy for me to go through ten years ago.

Links and Resources:

94 - The MAT Trap - Medically Assisted Treatment Pitfalls Dec 12, 2019

Show notes

Medically Assisted Treatment and our opinions.

Disclaimer: The information found in this episode should not be used to diagnose, prescribe or treat an individual and should not be used in place of medical advice from a licensed healthcare practitioner.

We recently attended a celebration of life for a friend, which was beautiful. He touched so many people with his kindness and love.

Today Ben and I will chat about real experiences we have come across in our journey, focusing on MAT - Medically Assisted Treatment. MAT can be useful with proper execution and planning for the challenges which lie ahead for the client. Mood and mind-altering drugs are a necessity in some cases; however, our experience has shown us a better recovery method in Abstinence Based Recovery.

At Rock Recovery, we have a step-down program for our clients to transition from our center to living a clean, sober, and independent life. We assist our clients by giving them the tools to safely and effectively live on their own, including community support.

One phone call Ben accepted recently sounded like the potential client was a good fit for our program. Let's call this person, "Mike." Mike claimed he was eight months sober and living on his own with a job and wanted to have additional support and treatment. Ben met Mike for a pre screen drug test, which lit up with three different types of drugs. The man claimed sobriety, which was not valid based on the analysis. Ben found out that Mike's insurance ran out at eight months sobriety and was asked to leave the previous facility he was treated at. The doctor released Mike with two different drugs, which can be fatal if you mix them with alcohol. Additionally, both of these drugs have extreme medical withdrawal.

Ben was troubled with the provider who left this person on his own with drugs, which could have easily killed him if he drank. Mike didn't understand why we couldn't take him into our sober living and had to explain to him what sober living is for the recovery center.

MAT treatment is becoming normalized when this shouldn't be the norm. This method does not take into effect the six requirements for living a sober life. Giving someone drugs and leaving them to their own devices was not responsible for the treatment center who left him out in the cold.

We talk about abstinence-based sobriety and the MAT sobriety process and how we use this therapy in the Rock Recovery Center. We have clients come to us and tell us they want to get off Suboxone and move forward without using drugs for recovery.

Our location in South Florida feels like paradise. This beautiful environment and area to enjoy and relax is a great place to recover and live when you are out of your recovery at the Rock Recovery Center. Ben talks about the many outdoor activities you can participate in during your recovery.

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Show Notes:

[05:51] The shortcomings and pitfalls which people experience with MAT.
[06:57] Ben shares his experience with MAT based fallout.
[14:21] Mike was left out in the cold, with drugs that could have had a fatal side effect.
[15:19] How Mike was given drugs, but he barely had enough money to live.
[17:11] When the promises come true.
[18:17] Who should you see if you are looking for responsible MAT treatment?
[20:46] Ben's personal experience with Suboxone.
[23:23] Understand the dangers of using drugs to come off of an addiction.

Links and Resources:

93 - Why You Should Consider Florida for Recovery Dec 05, 2019

Show notes

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world six weeks ago!

Today Ben and I will chat about stopping your drinking and drugging. If you're ready to get sober, find a place which you enjoy, that is beautiful. A place where you can focus on your recovery. Florida is a great location to start your journey to renew your life.

Many of our clients are from the northeast. I believe there are multiple reasons why people like to come to south Florida for recovery. One of the main reasons is South Florida is a strong recovery community, which is essential when you are looking to get sober. Ben draws the analogy of the south Florida recovery community to the best place you would seek a specific type of sport. You want to go where the sport is played the most, especially if you're competing. South Florida is THE place to be when you are recovering.

The clients who come down to South Florida commonly stay here to live full-time. You can easily find many sober people in South Florida in a restaurant or shopping in a market. It's easy to build relationships here with other people who are sober and are looking to engage in sober activities together.

Clients who return to the northeast find that there are many commercials and programs which are MAT-based. Sometimes a person will move from their current drug to Suboxone - a prescription medicine used to treat adults who are addicted to opioid medications. This drug is used in conjunction with a complete treatment program, which can also include counseling and behavioral therapy. Ben and I believe that using another drug to get off of your current drug isn't the best form of treatment. Many of the addiction programs in the northeast use this type of therapy. At Rock Recovery Center, we want you to thrive without drugs, which is why we do not use this type of therapy.

There are many employment opportunities in South Florida, along with an extensive network of people who are recovering who can give you referrals to jobs. Find out how many opportunities you can find when you are sober!

Many of our clients want to return to South Florida to remain sober. Give us a call, contact us through our website, and find out why Rock Recovery Center is an excellent opportunity for you to become sober and live a fulfilling life.

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Show Notes:

[03:10] The company and culture in South Florida recovery.
[04:54] What is a recovery community?
[08:21] Why Ben and I are fans of abstinence-based treatment.
[10:35] What patients have shared with us about their experience using Suboxone.
[12:42] Ben's recovery experience in Minnesota and South Florida.
[14:30] Employment opportunities in South Florida.
[17:46] What sobriety looks like after the recovery center and process.

Links and Resources:

92 - Why Thanksgiving means so much to us. We are Thankful for each and everyone of you Nov 28, 2019

Show notes

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world five weeks ago!

Ben and I want to talk about gratitude to give thanks to where the podcast has gone, how the show has helped people, and chat about our thankfulness.

Certain concepts are hard for those in the grip of addiction to understand. One is the thought that their life can be turned around. Another is the idea that there is a positive side at the end of this time in your life.

Ben didn't understand how someone could be a grateful recovering addict. He talks about how he crossed the line with drugs and alcohol. There wasn't one particular moment which he remembers thinking he needed to change. He does, however, remember one instance shortly before his son's first birthday, where the DEA came to his home and arrested him for drug use. Ben remembers thinking that he may be going away and would be locked up for an extended period.

"Recovery must come first in my life" because, without his recovery, his family, child, or anything else isn't going to work. Ben is thankful to find his purpose in helping other people. From sponsoring others to sobriety to reaching so many others and working with them to caring for a friend's child when his mother died of a drug overdose, Ben is finding the world needs him in more ways than he had ever expected.

At one point, I felt that I was going to die an alcoholic. At 26 years old, with a hunting shotgun in the corner of my room, I thought to myself that I could quickly end my life right there in my room.

Don't take the fear of living without drugs and alcohol take over your thoughts. Make a choice to overcome your fear and move forward with your recovery. Ben recalls his early recovery feeling like he didn't have the strength physically, emotionally, or spiritually to make it through another minute.

Ben reiterates his "why" of being here because he now has a purpose. He holds onto resonating with his words, making sure he walks the walk and talks the talk. He often hears about new people in recovery, saying the right words in the group but then doesn't follow through with actions. Ben believes that if they at least know the idea and realize they need to change their behavior, they will eventually move towards more positive behavior.

What we have talked about on this podcast is a reflection of the lives we have built for ourselves. We speak the language because we have been in their shoes. Ben can't put into words what it was like to be an addict. Additionally, he cannot put words to how he feels about living his life without drugs and addiction.

If you're struggling with the idea of sobriety and getting treatment, think about the opportunities which can lie ahead of you when you make a choice to change.

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Show Notes:

[02:38] Concepts which are hard for those in the grips of addiction to understand.
[03:12] What drove Ben nuts in early recovery.
[04:09] The point where you feel that something has to change in your life.
[05:35] Ben wasn't being the man he knew he was capable of being.
[06:32] How Ben's experiences have led him to the point at which he is living today.
[09:14] I tell my story about how I had bought into the concept that I would die an alcoholic.
[12:59] Ben's work with people in recovery reminds him everyday how valuable his work is.
[15:52] I talk about suicide being the easy route to escape.
[20:15] Why we publish this podcast.
[23:23] Addicts can relate to Ben and gives him a level of trust.
[29:35] Why having any drugs or alcohol is beneficial for Ben.

Links and Resources:

91 - How to stay sober during the Holidays Nov 21, 2019

Show notes

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world four weeks ago!

The holiday season is here upon us. This can be tough for those who are in early recovery, especiallly being with family. Along with family comes a lot of emotions. You may have indugled in drugs and alochol to get through previous holidays to get yourself through this time. Now, however; you are sober and you'll need to put new tools in your toolbox to move through the holidays sober.

The big question I'm going to discuss today: How can we go into the holiday season and be sure we will be OK when we get out the other side?

Don't go into the holiday season with the idea that this will be hard for you. Put your fear aside, celebrate being joyful with friends and family. Especially if you're new to sobriety, take heart to follow these steps and make your holiday season a good and memorable one.

Here is a plan you can follow to have a safe, fun and enjoyable holiday season this year:

#1 Create a plan for your holiday

Not just plan where to go, but how you are going to deal with situations. If you are seeing family, you'll most likely be going back to the same dysfunction or bad habits of the family. Think about what you are going to do and say when family members put you in a "party" situation or try to bring you to a bar.

#2 Find a meeting where you are going during the holiday

Find a support person locally to reach out and talk to someone who can support you.

#3 Communicate with your family members

Tell your family your boundaries and expectations for your health and to support you. Let your family know if they cannot support you, that you will not be coming to the family function. They won't know what you expect unless you communicate with them effectively. Share with them your expectations weeks before you are going to meet them for the holidays. This will relieve the awkwardness of your family so they will know what you feel comfortable with during events. Tell your family that you don't want to be offered alcohol or drugs. If they are drinking, you may need to be in a different room.

#4 Set up your accountability partners before hand

The newly recovered person should decide before they go to a family function who the responsible family members are which they can have for support.

#5 Look at this as an opportunity to create new, wonderful memories with your family!

Look for happy moments and fill your time with fun activities with your family and friends. Have meaningful conversation and tell them about your new found sobriety. You may be a vehicle for others to become sober. You may have spent years not being there for your family, this is your time to show your family and friends you are sober and there for them. Have gratitude you have this opportunity to spend time with them.

If you're family is a party family and always uses drugs or alcohol, your best choice is to not attend a family gathering. Be proud of your sobriety and do not put yourself in a situation to lose what you have done for yourself!

There's nothing on the face of this planet that is worth more than your sobriety.

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Show Notes:

[01:44] Sobriety - you haven't had to be sober for previous holidays, but now you do!
[03:22] Going into your first holiday season as a sober person.
[04:33] #1 Create a plan for your holiday
[07:11]What should you do when your family puts you in a not so great situation? Plan ahead!
[09:09] #3 Communicate with your family members
[12:03] Decide what family members are supportive and communicate with them. #4 Set up your accountability before hand.
[15:59] Know that you have a say in what you do with alcohol.
[19:09] Be proud to be the sober person in the crowd.
[20:15] There's nothing on the face of this planet that is worth more than your sobriety.

Links and Resources:

90 - Fears People Have When Considering Drug and Alcohol Treatment Nov 14, 2019

Show notes

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world three weeks ago!

The question to ask yourself when you are considering treatment: How do drugs and alcohol add value to my life today?

There are many different reasons addicts will not go into drug and alcohol rehab. One reason may be because the addict thinks they won't be able to become clean, so what is the point of going? With that attitude, you definitely won't become clean and sober again.

I'm here to tell you, relapse is NOT a part of recovery. This statement, which I've heard many times, is BS. Relapse is only a part of recovery if you choose to make this a part of your recovery.

In this episode, I'm going to talk about the most common fears people have when considering treatment options. Many people have a fear of the unknown. Remember, treatment for any problem, whether the issue is medical, such as a broken leg or addiction, is purposeful. The reason you go for treatment is for repair. Treatment is generally uncomfortable; however, the goal for your treatment is to heal successfully.

When you enter into drug and alcohol treatment, it may be hard to comprehend your life moving forward without drugs and alcohol. You may be asking yourself the following questions:

What does drug and alcohol treatment look like?
What can I expect during this process?
What are the actions and steps I'll have to do in the addiction program?
What types of treatments will my rehab consist of?
Who will be leading my rehabilitation?
What types of doctors, psychologists, will I be working with during rehab?
What will this process look like for me?

I'll be speaking with my guest, Griff, today about his fears about going into drug and alcohol rehab. He has been in rehab for six months and will talk to us about dealing with emotions.

Fear #1: Talking about your emotions. As an addict, we tend to live emotionless lives to avoid feeling emotions. You are using drugs and alcohol to mask your true emotions. Your feelings are overwhelming; however, if you do not process your emotions, you have a significant chance of falling back into the addiction cycle.

When Griff first started feeling emotion, he felt love for the first time. This was the first experience he had with loving himself. Also, he experiences the emotion of hate for his actions in the past.

He now realizes he has a choice not to live a life of addiction. He feels he is a better person now than he was before. Griff realizes that he feels different if he is around others who are drinking.

Fear #2: Loneliness: Make sure to have a trusted counselor or other professional to work through your emotional process and have a clean and positive community of friends who can be there for you when you are working through the recovery process.

Griff talks about how vital the community at the Rock Recovery Center is for him through his process of recovery. He felt welcome and accepted at the Rock Recovery Center. Even though he considers himself an introvert, he realizes how his new friends are looking out for him.

Listen in to hear more detail about three common fears many people experience when considering drug and alcohol rehabilitation.

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Show Notes:

[03:54] Trying to comprehend your life without drugs and alcohol.
[04:06] Common modalities and activities you may have in your recovery program.
[04:33] Fear #1: The fear of dealing with your emotions
[05:59] My guest Griff talks about using since he was 12 and not having to deal with emotions for a very long time.
[07:02] Feeling guilt and shame when going through the treatment process.
[07:25] Griff talks about harnessing his new found emotions to change and become a better person.
[09:09] Going through and processing emotions with a trained therapist who you can trust and feel comfortable with when healing from addiction.
[10:56] Stay away from environments which have drugs or alcohol when you are in early recovery.
[11:09] Fear #2 the fear of loneliness.
[12:39] Griff talks about the relationships he has developed during treatment.
[13:39] Be an asset to your community during treatment.
[14:59] Griff talks about his new found "family" at the Rock Recovery Center and the importance of having this community for his well-being.
[17:04] The community at the Rock Recovery Center holding each other accountable.
[20:04] Perspective: look at how wonderful your life would be without dependence on drugs and alcohol instead of thinking about life without drugs and alcohol.

Links and Resources:

89 - Three Steps You Can Do to End Your Addiction Nov 07, 2019

Show notes

My wife and I brought a beautiful baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad, into the world two weeks ago!

I'm going to give you three things you can do to end your addiction. Whether you're addicted to drugs, alcohol, or nicotine, consistently following these three steps can get you out of your addiction and onto your road of recovery.

These three steps are so easy to do, normies do this every day:

Get Busy - the saying "idle hands make the devil's workshop" applies to #1. Don't sit around and let time pass you by. Doing the same thing day in and day out, without purpose, is not healthy. You want to fill your time with productive, purposeful activities to be in the right frame of mind. You can volunteer at a local pet shelter, go back to school, or pick up a new trade or hobby. Find activities you like to do and do them every day.
Get out of Toxic Relationships - when you are inactive addiction, you will surround yourself with others who approve of your negative behavior. You can easily cosign your addiction when you stay in toxic relationships. Remember to look around, the toxic person doesn't have to be an addict, they can be a normie but is emotionally, physically, or sexually abusive. Find positive friends, moving forward in life, and lead meaningful lives.
Get Support - find others outside of your immediate family to positively support you in your journey and will hold you accountable. Find a support group or support system of others outside your family who you can talk to when you need support. Your family may love you; however, family situations can be stressful and create the opposite effect. Family members who don't understand how you feel usually can't support you in the way you need to be supported. They want to help you but do not have the tools to assist you in the road to recovery. A good support group or person can walk you through a tough journey.

When we are stuck in our heads and have no way to get out of our heads, the negative self-talk will walk back into our minds. From this point, the negativity snowballs, and we are back on the path to addiction. Whether your addiction is shopping, gambling, or drugs, this applies to all addictions.

Remember, toxic relationships include any person who is not serving a positive purpose in your life. Breakaway from these people and move from your "comfortable" place. You have to get rid of toxic people and relationships, or you'll be fighting an uphill battle. These people will not support you wanting to get clean or get out of your addiction.

Find a MeetUp group that doesn't drink. Make sure to be with positive people who can build your sobriety and help lift you back up. Positive support will assist you in being and stay sober.

There's no guarantee, however, if you are consistent and follow-through with these three steps, you can be on your way to sobriety.

Listen in to hear more detail about my three steps to put you on the path of sobriety, no matter what your addiction.

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Show Notes:

[02:15] I introduce my new baby girl, Winnie Margaret Conrad,
[03:55] Three things you can do to end your addiction.
[04:51] The first thing you can do to put an end to your addiction - be productive and engage yourself in mindful and meaningful activities.
[08:56] Number two: Get out of toxic relationships - surround yourself with healthy, good people.
[13:22] Number three: get support!

Links and Resources:

88 - "The bottle cost me everything" -Steven Oct 17, 2019

Show notes

I hope that Steven's message today will give you the ability to go out and get help with your addiction. Listen in on his message of hope.

Steven decided to come onto the show today to share his message of hard work and determination when coming off drug addiction. His early life, as a child living with his mother, gave Steven his first exposure to drug use and addiction. This was a radical difference from the structured and disciplined military life he led when he was under his father's care.

At eight years old, his aunt gave him his first joint, and his uncle gave him his first beer that summer. Later that year, he started smoking cigarettes, also given to him by a family member on his mother's side. By the time he was 13, he was smoking a pack a day of cigarettes.

Enabling children and giving them what they want tends to lead a person down the path of addiction. Being able to do "anything you want" gives the impression that doing anything is OK. The enabler is not able to stop the behavior that is allowing the addict to continue.

Steven's introduction to continual access to drugs and alcohol started in middle school, where he would idolize rock bands, play music and go out into a field and get drunk with his friends. In high school, he joined his first band, half of whom were on probation. Steven himself ended up on probation for six months. During his probation, he developed a reliance on synthetic cannabinoids. Even though he was on-track to graduate early from high school, he was expelled his junior year and dropped out twice his senior year. Steven thought drinking was a typical teen activity. Looking back, he realized his behavior wasn't normal - the party never stopped - he was continually drinking throughout the day. Playing in a band gave Steven purpose, finding a role in music was where he fit in socially.

His world as an adult is still tied to his childhood traumas, with abandonment issues and feeling he isn't good enough. These are the feelings that lead to addiction and make addiction so hard to break.

In 2017, Steven broke up with his girlfriend, and he realized he was always drunk. He would buy beer, put the beer in his backpack, and drink beer in the bathroom every hour he was at work. His ex-girlfriend was also addicted, she didn't want to be addicted. Steven realized that he, as well as she, needed to go into rehab.

Listen in to hear Steven's story of drinking, being miserable and him being in and out of IOP and working a 12-step program.

Show Notes:

[04:29] I introduce Steven and he gives background on his lifestyle growing up and the large amount of difference between living with his mother and living with his father.
[07:25] Steven tells about his family growing up, how his family became a blended family.
[09:29] His mother and aunt are still addicted and not clean.
[11:45] Steven and I talk about the enabling aspect of addiction.
[15:26] Where Steven's addiction stems from.
[17:20] Steven's first consequence: probation for six months.
[19:27] The party never stopped for Steven, he was always drinking.
[20:30] He describes how playing in a band gave him purpose.
[25:49] Steven deals with abandonment issues, even as an adult.
[27:24] The turning point where Steven decides he has to make a change.
[35:23] How Steven started drinking more to cope with the misery of the breakup with his girlfriend.
[38:03] What is Steven doing now and what would he say to the Steven that was living under the bridge several years ago.
[44:05] The message I'm hearing is hope!
[48:26] "Give yourself a shot, even if you don't think you're worth it."

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