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    Education

    Real Recovery Talk

    We are a podcast dedicated to sobriety and recovery from alcohol and drugs. (And whatever other addiction that is out there) It doesn’t matter what you have been through in the past. We have all done very bad things in our addiction. This does not define who we are. We know there is a way out of addiction. Family and loved ones, you play a part in this as well. There are plenty of stories out there of families and loved ones not knowing what to do with their addicted loved one. Let us guide you on the right things to do and the right decisions to make to ensure that you and your loved one gets the help that you need.

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    Latest Episodes:
    127 - 5 Min or Less: Who should I be having with when newly sober? Feb 11, 2020
    Show notes

    5 Min or Less

    Visit:

    www.realrecoverytalk.com for all the episodes

    Ben and I Can be reached at:

    Ben@realrecoverytalk.com

    Tom@realrecoverytalk.com

    Also Follow us on FB and YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk

    When we only have very little sober time, we should hang with people that have more sober time than us! When we have a few years sober, we should hang with people that have very little sober time!

    The idea behind this is when we are young and sobriety we need to be surrounded by wisdom. Often times people with wisdom have multiple years sobriety. As we mature in our sobriety we need to hang with people that need our wisdom, we are called to help them as we were helped when we were young in sobriety.

    When we have multiple years of sobriety, we too need to hang with people that have the same amount of time as us, if not more. We always want to be able to talk about our situations with other people and get advice and wisdom from others!


    126 - 5 Min or Less: Brotherly Love and the Importance of Strong relationships in Recovery Feb 10, 2020
    Show notes

    5 Min or Less

    Visit:

    www.realrecoverytalk.com for all the episodes

    Ben and I Can be reached at:

    Ben@realrecoverytalk.com

    Tom@realrecoverytalk.com

    Also Follow us on FB and YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk

    I love you man!

    In this excerpt, I discuss the importance of brotherly love in recovery. It is not weak to tell another man you love him. Many of us were raised to think that we have to be big, strong, tough and brutal. When we recover we find that we have to be inspirational leaders and caring protectors. That is what defines a man!!!


    125 - 5 Min or Less: Relationships, A TERRIBLE IDEA! Feb 07, 2020
    Show notes

    5 Min or Less

    No need for a romantic relationship at this time!

    Visit:

    www.realrecoverytalk.com for all the episodes

    \Ben and I Can be reached at:

    Ben@realrecoverytalk.com

    Tom@realrecoverytalk.com

    Also Follow us on FB and YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk

    There is a reason why people suggest to not get into a relationship when establishing a foundation of sobriety. When we get sober we need to focus on nothing but ourselves. Getting into a relationship means that we are taking away from ourselves and putting it into another person. This could be for many reasons, but the most likely reason is because that other person makes us feel good. When we are with this other person we feel good, when we have sex with this person we feel good, when we are on the phone with this person we feel good, when we are texting with this person we feel good. All in all, this person being in our lives make us feel good.

    It is easy for us to not focus on ourselves and to focus on the relationship. The question is, what do we do if and when this relationship goes astray. I see a lot of times people meet their "soulmate" in detox and think that they are meant for one another.

    This can't be further from the truth. Do yourself a favor don't get into any relationships until you know the time is right and the people around you know the time is right. This


    124 - 5 things we are doing that could be leading us to a relapse Feb 06, 2020
    Show notes

    Here we are with Real Recovery Talk! Have you or someone you loved relapsed back into drug and alcohol addiction? Today, I'm going to talk about five different types of mindsets, which can lead to relapse. If you notice yourself or your loved one in one of these mindsets, make sure to reach out and get support and help - avoid the relapse cycle!

    The first mindset to watch out for is complacency. We hear about this all the time in rehab. Complacency is the thought process that leads us to believe we don't need to do much else to move forward. During the early stages of rehab, we get many of the things back that we lost, and then we can become complacent because we are now "OK." Many people will stop going to meetings as regularly as they used to. Sometimes we even see our sponsors less, or we don't return their calls. Whatever the case, stay diligent in your treatment and follow through with your responsibilities to have a successful rehab.

    One solution is to challenge yourself in an activity you enjoy, experience a new experience, and allow yourself to move forward in different areas of your life.

    The second mistake you can make is overconfidence. Don't take your sobriety lightly. The "I've got this" mentality is when you feel you don't need to go to meetings, volunteer, and see your mentor. Many of these people will be very defensive when their overconfidence is questioned. They feel that there is nothing that can come in between them and their sobriety.

    The third mindset which can trap you is hanging out with old friends, people, places, and things. To get sober, you must develop a sober support network of others around you who are solemn and involve themselves in dry activities.

    The fourth way to fall back into addiction is comparing yourself to others. I see this with people who are new to recovery. When you set the bar too high, especially in the beginning, you'll see people comparing themselves to others who have been sober for a long time. As a result, they view their recovery activities as holding them back from getting what they want out of life.

    A fifth mindset to avoid:

    Listen in to find out why you want to follow through with your recovery, be persistent, and have a positive attitude, which is essential to your recovery. Slow, consistent progress is critical to recovering fully from your addiction. Make sure to slow down and take enough time (more than 30 days) to move through the process of healing.

    Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Look for our new daily shows, which are five minutes or under! Listen in for yourself or for a friend. You can also find our new short episodes on our Facebook page.

    • Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

    Show Notes:

    • [02:00] Relapse starts before we re-engage with drugs and alcohol.
    • [03:05] How you can connect with us on social media and our website.
    • [04:05] Complacency and how this mindset can sneak into your life.
    • [07:20] When you find that you're being complacent, find an activity to challenge yourself!
    • [08:33] Sobriety can lead to overconfidence, make sure you avoid this pitfall.
    • [10:51] Make sure you're not hanging out with old friends who are a negative influence on you.
    • [13:53] Comparing yourself to others is not a positive mindset to have at any time, especially when you are becoming sober.
    • [17:20] Don't be an "Eeyore" and have a cloud of doom above your head all day!
    • [20:37] Most people have a combination of one or more of the above mindsets.

    Links and Resources:

    • Real Recovery Live Chat
    • Real Recovery Talk on the Web
    • Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
    • Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
    • Rock Recovery Center
    • Real Recovery Talk on Facebook
    • Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com
    • Brad Jensen | Key Nutrition Coach

    123 - 5 Min or Less: Prioritizing Time when newly Sober Feb 04, 2020
    Show notes

    5 Min or Less

    Prioritizing time when getting sober

    Visit:

    www.realrecoverytalk.com for all the episodes

    Ben and I Can be reached at:

    Ben@realrecoverytalk.com

    Tom@realrecoverytalk.com

    Also Follow us on FB and YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk

    When getting sober we find that we are likely unemployed, lacking any meaningful relationships with family or loved ones due to our addiction, and have a lot of extra time on our hands. The question is, what do we do with all of this time? ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿปโ€โ™‚๏ธ

    Well, if you are in a detox or inpatient type program then there really isn't much to do outside of what the program tells you to do. But if you are in some sort of outpatient program or living on your own then you may find you have a lot of extra time that you need to fill. If we don't take the action steps necessary to fill this time with productive tasks or things to do then we could find ourselves spending a lot of time in our heads, which is not a good place for us to be. ๐Ÿ˜–

    It goes without saying that we will need to find employment at some point in time. So go out and find a job, this cannot wait. Also, as newly sober people we need to rely on sober friends and sober support networks. These are things that we can work on as well. Find new friends, spend time with them. Do productive things that will help you progress life.

    Whatever it is that you find yourself doing make sure you have balance. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Balance is key, with everything.

    Exercise and fitness is very important but that doesn't mean spend five hours a day in the gym and another five hours researching the latest fad diet and fitness programs. Go to the gym, get a good workout in, leave and move onto the next thing. Go to the library, research a new career path that you want to endeavor on. Make new friends, create new hobbies, experience new experiences.


    122 - 5 Min or Less: Failing Forward Feb 04, 2020
    Show notes

    Often times people will look at failure as a setback. I encourage you to look at failure as an opportunity to improve. When people relapse continuously it's easy for them to fall into the mindset of "I will never be sober". This is unrealistic thinking, just because we relapse doesn't mean we're not going to ever be able to achieve long-term sobriety.

    This does not lessen the effect of relapse. We often times hear relapse is a part of recovery, that couldn't be further from the truth. Relapse is a part of recovery only if we let it. In the case that we relapse, let's look at the things that led up to the relapse.

    Ex: have I stopped reaching out to sober supports? Have I stopped going to meetings? Am I becoming angry and short tempered easily? Did I treat my family and loved ones any differently? Did I set the bar too high for myself? Did that relationship ending assist in my relapse? What can I learn from this relapse?

    If we can ask ourselves these questions and answer them honestly, then this relapse becomes an opportunity for us to learn. If we can learn what led up to the relapse and prevent it from happening again then we just failed forward.

    Visit:

    www.realrecoverytalk.com for all the episodes

    Ben and I Can be reached at:

    Ben@realrecoverytalk.com

    Tom@realrecoverytalk.com

    Also Follow us on FB and YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk


    121 - 5 Min or Less: Exercise, Eat Right, Prayer and Meditation: Do these things, you will be happy you did Feb 03, 2020
    Show notes

    5 Min or Less

    There are certain things that we can do when in early recovery that will help us feel better mentally emotionally and spiritually. It is vital for us to do all three of these in conjunction with our support program and or treatment. These three things are:

    Exercise: ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ€๐ŸŠโ€โ™‚๏ธmove a muscle change a thought. This doesn't mean that we have to take on CrossFit, powerlifting or Pilates. Start small, go for a walk. Anything is better than nothing

    Eat right: ๐Ÿ๐ŸŒ๐Ÿฅ‘๐Ÿฅฆ๐ŸŒฝ๐Ÿฅ” not ๐Ÿ”๐ŸŸ๐ŸŒญ๐ŸŒฎ๐Ÿ•๐ŸŒฏThe food that we put in our body is going to directly affect the way that we feel. Rather than pumping a bunch of highly processed highly palatable foods into our body, let's eat nutrient dense foods that Will make us feel a lot better in the long run. Eat quality proteins, fruits and vegetables and non-processed carbohydrates. Start out small make one meal a healthy meal rather than all our meals being fast food and ice cream

    Prayer and meditation: ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ™ If you're working some sort of 12 step program, he will come to find out that it is spiritual in nature. So if you are not already doing so, start a practice of prayer and meditation into your life and you will feel a lot better spiritually.

    Visit:

    www.realrecoverytalk.com for all the episodes

    Ben and I Can be reached at:

    Ben@realrecoverytalk.com

    Tom@realrecoverytalk.com

    Also Follow us on FB and YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk


    120 - 5 Min or Less: Active Listening Jan 31, 2020
    Show notes

    5 Min or Less

    Visit:

    www.realrecoverytalk.com for all the episodes

    Ben and I Can be reached at:

    Ben@realrecoverytalk.com

    Tom@realrecoverytalk.com

    Also Follow us on FB and YouTube @RealRecoveryTalk

    When having a conversation with somebody it's important that we try and practice active listening. Active listening will let that person know that we hear them, although we may not be able to relate, we understand what they are saying. Active listening is a great way to have healthy communication with whoever that person may be.

    If you have a loved one that is struggling with addiction, eventually you will have to have a conversation with them. So being able to listen actively is very important. If we cannot listen actively, it portrays that we don't care for them, we don't hear them, and we are disregarding their feelings.

    Active listening is something that we can practice on a daily basis. Next time you're having a conversation with someone pay attention to your body language, your tonality, and your eye contact. Try not to stare off into space somewhere, leaving them think that you are not paying attention to them. Repeat back to them what they have said in your own words and offer your feedback if warranted. Often times all people want is for you to listen and to not speak. Don't forget that.


    119 - Why it is so important to help others! Jan 30, 2020
    Show notes

    Check out my new website where you can download any episode right from my site along with other useful information for those in recovery. Look for our new daily shows, which are five minutes or under! Listen in for yourself or for a friend. You can also find our new short episodes on our Facebook page.

    Today Ben and I will talk about the importance of helping other people in sobriety and why this is significant for your own recovery. When we help other people, we are helping ourselves, which is, in essence, selfish. However, this is a definite form of selfishness because when we help others, we are also assisting ourselves in not only their recovery but our own recovery.

    In this episode, I talk with Brad Jensen, the founder of Key Nutrition, who is in recovery. He comes to us today to talk about how fitness and health have positively impacted his sobriety. Brad also talks about his struggles with sobriety. He'll talk about his experience, his awareness of the three pillars to life, and how he can assist clients with his coaching to be more successful on the path of sobriety.

    Ben talks about a quote he learned, "The best way to get out of your own shit is to jump into someone else's shit." There are days and situations where you may feel down regardless of what you do to get yourself out of feeling low. When I start helping someone else, my positive state of mind when helping others definitely changes my attitude.

    At Real Rock Recovery, we work with the local church and nursing home as an opportunity to help others, which keeps up humble and appreciative of what we have in life. Finding joy and peace in helping others, especially when mentoring other addicts, creates a sense of gratefulness for what you have.

    Listen in to find out how you can become grateful for what you have, what you can give others, having the ability to become a sponsor, and give others their medallion. Find out what type of commitments Ben has made at H & I's and how he feels rewarded by using his time to help others. Find out what Ben has to say to others who feel that they have nothing to share.

    • Share this podcast with a friend and leave us a review!

    Show Notes:

    • [06:27] Why you should be selfish with your recovery.
    • [09:21] Tom talks about his opportunity to help others in Bell Glade.
    • [15:44] Ben speaks about the medallion ceremony, the thoughts and the hard work behind those who have earned their medallion.
    • [18:20] How Ben figured out he wanted to start helping and mentoring others through sobriety.
    • [20:02] People who want to help others versus people who aren't interested in helping others.
    • [21:44] What Ben would say to people who think they have nothing to offer others.
    • [24:56] No matter how much time we have, there will always be someone with less time than us.
    • [26:44] Are you hanging out with someone at the same level as you or are you branching out and meeting new people?
    • [30:18] No matter what way, shape or form, reach out to help other people!

    Links and Resources:

    • Real Recovery Live Chat
    • Real Recovery Talk on the Web
    • Real Recovery Talk on YouTube
    • Leave Real Recovery Talk a review on iTunes
    • Rock Recovery Center
    • Real Recovery Talk on Facebook
    • Ideas for a show? Email us tom@realrecoverytalk.com and ben@realrecoverytalk.com
    • Brad Jensen | Key Nutrition Coach

    118 - 5 Min or Less: Do I need to Qualify myself? Jan 29, 2020
    Show notes

    5 Min or Less

    It is not weak to admit defeat!

    I am an addict. I am an alcoholic.

    In this video we discuss the importance of qualifying.

    We have the only disease, that tells us we don't have it, that has to be self diagnosed.

    If I do not admit to myself that I have a problem, I am most likely not going to seek out a solution. Admitting that I am an alcoholic or a drug addict, is simply stating that I need to change.

    When the pain of staying the same, becomes greater than the pain of change, is when change occurs.


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