Put Into Words

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/from-envy-to-energy-empowerment-workshop-tickets-105261000486

Friendship May 29, 2020

Show notes

In today's episode the Georgie and Engrid are celebrating one year of Gal Pals. They each share what they've gained/learned in their one year of creating Gal Pals together. Our intention with starting this podcast is to inspire you to have deeper more meaningful conversations + connections with the people in your life. Our ultimate dream is to connect IRL and spaces where you can connect with each other.

Join the Gal Pals from Envy to Energy Workshop:

From Envy to Energy

the gal pals guide to moving through feelings of envy into manifestation

date: 6/3

time: noon Wednesday

location: via zoom (link provided after signup)

$22

IN THIS EPISODE:

Learning that you can trust others to show up

Learning its safe to ask for what you need

Sitting in the stickiness of practice

It's safe to push yourself (in a good way) when it comes to practice and preparation

Gain the skill of outlining a topic to unpack

Gaining confidence with speaking

Tell someone how you really feel (share the compliments)

Permission to be your best fullest self

Better able to articulate ourselves and our feelings IRL

QUESTIONS WE ANSWER:

How did you two become friends?

How do you handle friends who aren't engaged/the friendship is dwindling?

Tips on making friends post college - I want to find deep relationships like I made there

Advice on growing friendships in adulthood.

What advice would you give ladies looking to find new close friends like you have.

What aspects of your friendship (or specific experience/convo) makes you feel closest?

How do you maintain your friendship while living so far away from each other?

If you had to use a tv friendship to describe your friendship who would it be?

How has your friendship adapted to self isolation? Any tips?

Expectations of what friendship "should" be like (bigger friend groups vs. smaller)

Have you ever gotten into any challenging fights/disagreements?

How do you discuss opposing opinions or awkward topics?

Stereotypes and expectations of friendship

What is the most important element of friendship?

What is your favorite thing about each other?

Can you tell us about some of the funniest moments in your friendship? Times you've laughed so hard you've cried

CONNECT WITH US

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

Inner Critic May 22, 2020

Show notes

In the episode Georgie & Engrid are discussing all things Inner Critic. We all have those judgemental voices (that are really just trying to protect us) that show up. The gals share their biggest inner critic stories, what the narratives sound like (usually mean) and ways the inner critic shows up in our lives (perfectionism anyone?). And of course they dive into where these stories came from in the first place. They ponder the question:

What does it look like to give the critical parts of yourself loving attention, instead of trying to ignore them?

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Don't forget to leave a review for us over on iTunes

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CONNECT WITH US

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

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IN THIS EPISODE:

What is an inner critic? The judgemental voice that tries to protect us
Ways the inner critic shows up: Self sabotaging, perfectionism, people pleasing, workaholism, high-performance

What language does it use? (To Self and to Others)

Fear
Shame
Judgment
Doubt
Self-Righteous
Black and White Thinking
Worry
Catastrophizing
Blaming
Belittling
High Expectations
Pressuring

Calling a "family meeting" of all the different parts of yourself

The gals share what their inner critics sound like?

Engrid: (Biggest inner critic stories)

Good things don't last for you.
Feeling good is a short lived experience, you can only have that in small doses.
Life is hard. You have to work hard for and earn your place in the world.
You have to suffer in order to earn what you want.
You can't fully be yourself, you have to adapt to others to be likeable / accepted.
Making others feel comfortable is more important than making yourself feel comfortable / at ease.

Often shows up like:

I can switch very quickly switch to being very controlling when I feel like my needs aren't being met/respected
Recreating circumstances that reinforce these beliefs
No one will listen to me unless I'm angry
Hypervigilance / hyper-sensitive & aware of other people
Waiting for the other shoe to drop when I am feeling really good.
Seeking affirmation from people I work with (did I do enough for you? Did I do a good job?)

Georgie: (Biggest inner critic stories)

You're not as good as you think you are
no one actually likes you
You'll never be as successful as you dream of

Often sounds like:

"You're not that talented (with photography) one of these days you're going to ruin someone's shoot"
"You'll never be as good as XYZ"
"They probably don't really like you, they're just being nice"
"They're just saying that to be nice, they don't really mean it" (Compliments/praise)

ENNEAGRAM:

"I am good or okay if I do what is right"
"I am good or okay if I am accepted and loved by others"

"I am good or okay if others think well of me, and I'm successful"

"I am good or okay if I am true to myself" (inner battle under stress: wanting to fit in vs. showing everyone how unique you are)

"I am good or okay if I master something."

"I am good or okay if I know what is expected of me."
"I am good or okay if I get what I need."
"I am good or okay if I can impose my will and be strong and just."
"I am good or OK if everyone around me is right or OK."

When do Inner Critic's get the loudest?

Positive:

In uncharted territory
During times of growth and break through (they're the emergency break)
Shining "too" bright

Uncomfortable:

Awkward moments
Shame
Embarrassment
Failure

The gals share phases of life & experiences that brought about these critical narratives

How can we invite our inner critics to the table?

I used to think I had to "tune the negative voices out"

Now I realize that they're trying to get my attention

What does it look like to give the critical parts of yourself loving attention?

Body Image In Photos May 15, 2020

Show notes

Have you ever seen a photo of yourself that ruined your day? Why do we do this? In this episode Georgie & Engrid are diving deeper into what's triggering this, so we can deal with those deeper issues instead of getting stuck on the photo.

CONNECT WITH US

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

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IN THIS EPISODE:

This episode focuses on our individual perception of ourselves.

What makes you see a photo of yourself and not like it?

A bad photo is not a representation of YOU as a person

What does my mind tell me, when I see a "bad" photo of myself?

The gals each share their "rough draft" thoughts of what their inner critic says when they've seen a photo they didn't like of themselves

Georgie: My deepest desire is to be seen and heard (clearly) How can I see myself clearly first?

Engrid: I feel less worthy (I have no value if I'm not pretty/attractive)

Are we trying to recreate or match a feeling we've felt before (likely in childhood)?

Body image noise gets louder anytime we're trying to EXPAND

We often put a lot of pressure and have high expectations on photos

What's Really Going On? (Beyond The Photo)

Sometimes time can be helpful before revisiting a photo

Garry Winogrand:

A photograph is the illusion of a literal description of how the camera 'saw' a piece of time and space.
Photography is not about the thing photographed. It is about how that thing looks Photographed
If you think about it based on everyone's life experience we're all seeing through completely different lenses - you'll never know how

Engrid: I've come to realize that my body dysmorphia may apply to more than just my body. I'm in the process of learning how this critical lens may be affecting other areas of my life

Georgie: I don't think I see myself clearly - what lens am I bringing? What about that lens is positive? What is negative? Can I change my lens (or upgrade it)

Perfectionism & Self Sabotage May 08, 2020

Show notes

In this episode Engrid and Georgie unpack this idea of perfectionism, self sabotage, trying (too) hard, and having desire.

CONNECT WITH US

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

From Over-Exercise To Restorative Movement with Kara Duval

In this episode:

The Gals share the messages they adopted while growing up:

Engrid:

"You're not naturally gifted, but you're a really hard worker"
"Trying hard gets you noticed "
Your work ethic is what you bring to the table
You prove your worth by how hard you work
Work hard to make sure you're as prepared as possible
"Good" isn't good enough, you need to be exceptional

Georgie:

"It's not okay to look like you're trying "too hard"
"Don't be too obsessive, don't be too much"
Dont say what you want outloud, you'll look stupid if it doesnt happen
"Wanting too much is selfish"
"Trying too hard looks desperate"
The price of failing is too high, so don't do something unless you can 100% control the outcome
Being told "Why do you care so much?"

We get a lot of messages from society that ambitious women are too much, they are annoying, aggressive, bitchy, too loud, & bossy etc.

Are you a person who needs to know the plan? For example, are you someone who needs to know the workout ahead of time so you can conserve energy?

I'm supposed to excel but not LOOK like I'm trying

Felt tremendous pressure to be a high achiever and "good girl"

Fear of success and sabotaging yourself by getting trapped in a "working hard" loop

"If I'm bad at this why try? If I'm good at this why try?"

Having an aversion to trying harder than you have to

Quitting on things you actually really love

The gals share personal experiences that shaped these beliefs

We have the most perfectionism around the things we feel the most shame about

It's okay to like yourself more than other people like you

Messages around what it means to be "cool"

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How These Beliefs Have Showed Up in Our Life & Work

Engrid:

Unsustainable behaviors: owning my own business + working so hard that I burned out
Fear of success
Perfection to the point that things aren't fun anymore
Fear of being my FULLEST self, fear that I won't know what to do once I'm there
Fear of letting myself dream of the future (because if I don't get it I can't be disappointed)

Georgie:

Quantity over quality
Having a quandary of interests + being multi-passionate
What happens when I fully commit to something? If I prepare?

To give it your all is to believe you can succeed (and if I don't think I can succeed then I'll never be disappointed).

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Mantras/Reminders we use to challenge these old narratives:

Your best is going to be different from one day to the next
When perfectionism is driving, shame is riding shotgun, and fear is a backseat driver.
We strive for perfection where we have the most shame *yaaaas*
My identity is no in perfectionism
Failure is just the first act (in a play) & a setup for a comeback
Failing doesn't make you a failure

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Questions we're asking ourselves:

How does the phrase "what will people think" - how does living by this, ultimately shackle you?

Take away: Trying isn't bad & trying also isn't going to save you

Personas May 01, 2020

Show notes

In this episode George and Engrid unpack this idea of embodying a persona. There are many terms for this idea: sending up a representative, wearing a mask, code-switch, shape shift, chameleon, or the "space suit" self as Tara Brach calls it. Brene Brown refers to it as wearing armor. In this conversation the gals discuss how and why this happens, as well as the risks of living as a persona.

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ADDITIONAL EPISODES YOU MIGHT ALSO ENJOY:

Jealousy

Taking It Personally

Reacting vs. Responding

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IN THIS EPISODE:

How and why we may develop a persona
Somehow we learn that showing up as our full self isn't safe
The gals share personal examples from their childhood that contributed to developing a persona
Contributing factors: How young you are & the frequency with which you receive these messages that how you are isn't okay
Living only within your persona is "energy expensive"
Where DO we feel comfortable to NOT be the persona
We are different versions of ourselves in different parts of our lives
THINK: Is my response: thoughtful? Honest? Intelligent? Necessary? Kind?
Long term effects/risks of living in a persona
Engrid shares her personal experience of long-term abandonment of herself
The guilt that can come with fully being ourselves
Judgement towards others for being happy (proportionate to how happy you allow yourself to be
Being hypersensitive reading people vs. being oblivious (both are protective strategies)
Social media is a chosen representation of who we are, influencers run the risk over-identifying with their persona
When you show up, what are your intentions?
The risks of personas in intimate relationships
When we exploit our imperfections to appear relatable
Telling a story three times: relate, understand, gift it (so we don't become overly identified by a story we are telling about ourselves)
Not becoming overly attached to a struggle we've experienced by not sharing about something ad nauseum
Addiction to the healing journey
Becoming trapped by a our healing journey, if we believe it's what makes us relatable
The risks of trauma bonding

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CONNECT WITH US

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

Engrid's Birthday Reflections Apr 24, 2020

Show notes

THE BIRTHDAY EPISODE

What kind of birthday dessert do you like?

So your sun sign is a ______ do you relate to the typical characteristics of this sun sign?

What's your type:

Myers Briggs:

Enneagram:

4 Tendencies:

If you had to change careers to something totally different and your education was paid for what would you train to do?

What is something that most people assume about you that isn't true?

When do you feel the most like the most confident badass version of YOU?

What is one item of clothing that makes you feel YOU?

What is something you've recently discovered or re-discovered that you really like?

What is a part of your daily routine that you are loving right now?

I know you feel a deep connection with trees which is so beautiful- tell me about how that's unfolded for you?

What are some lessons you've learned from trees?

What is a favorite birthday memory?

What's one of the best gifts you've ever received?

What's the best compliment you've ever received?

Biggest lesson you learned from __ ?

What is something you've gotten better at this year?

What is something you still want to work on?

Imagine the best version of YOU - you're doing all your self-care, you're feeling good, you're wise AF - what words of wisdom would you have for us?

If you could sit down with 10 year old self and tell her about your life now what would you be excited to tell her?

What are you most excited about this year?

What's bringing you joy lately?

CONNECT WITH US

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

Comfort Zones Apr 17, 2020

Show notes

"A comfort zone is a beautiful place but nothing ever grows there". In this episode Georgie and Engrid challenge this idea that you have to step outside your comfort zone, in order to grow and evolve.

Additionally, this binary thinking can send us into a shame cycle, with beliefs such as: "If I don't push myself then I am lazy" (which can discourage you from trying something new at all). As well as: "I'm either uncomfortable and a GOOD person or comfortable and LAZY". We're asking ourselves:

Are there things that are easy that are also fulfilling?
Can you grow when things are easy?

In this episode:

What do our comfort zones look/feel like?
The powerful concept of "both/and"
The idea that we can dip in and out of our comfort zone in life depending on our needs and desires (both serve each other)
Examples of how comfort zones show up with exercise, personal growth, & learning a new skill
How to know how much is too much? (unsubscribing from the belief that you need to suffer in order to grow)
Learning from your mistakes
Deciphering the right kind of "hurt/pain"
Asking ourselves "is this action/behavior realistically sustainable?"
Does this practice ultimately bring me joy? (independent of my ego)
What is the context of your situation?
Is this ultimately going to serve me in the long run?
Is this true, that I can't grow unless I "step outside my comfort zone"? Can I absolutely know this is true?
Unsubscribing from pain/suffering as a badge of worthiness
Examples of what we gain, not at the cost of feeling pain

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CONNECT WITH US

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley

Model Vs. Martyr Apr 10, 2020

Show notes

This conversation was inspired by: Glennon Doyle - episode with Brene Brown

IN THIS EPISODE THE GALS DISCUCSS:

Model Archetype
Martyr Archetype
Hallmark behaviors of a martyr
A martyr has seen or experienced something so profoundly true, at least to them, they are willing to sacrifice everything on its behalf, including their own lives.
Modern day examples of martyrdom (The Giving Tree)Why being a martyr doesn't serve anyone (in the end)
Being a martyr feeds into the false dichotomy that to be a good person you have to sacrifice something that's important to you (your happiness, dreams, life, physical/ emotional well being)
How modeling can break the martyr chain
When you take care of yourself you give permission to others around you to do the same - in that way you are serving them even more
What being a Model looks like: clear honest expectations & boundaries & communication
Personal examples from both the Gals

CONNECT WITH US

ENGRID

Instagram: @livengproof

GEORGIE

Instagram: @georgiemorley