Pillow Talks

Latest Episodes:

Episode 18: How To Get That New Relationship Energy Back Sep 23, 2021

Show notes

We all want to feel wanted.

That's why we're talking about something that can totally change your relationship for the better, and it's something you've already done..."dating" your partner!

We've heard from our community (and this is something we as a couple have gone through as well) that when you've been together for years, even decades, you can go through phases where you feel more like roommates than romantic partners. Maybe you have kids and you know you're on the same team, but romance has taken a back seat to parenting and just life in general. Whatever the case may be, we're excited to talk about the role desire can play in your relationship and how - yes - you can reignite that spark from the 'old days'.

Links & Resources:

The Sex Challenge

Mental Load: What it is and how to stop it from destroying your relationship

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode18

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Episode 17: How To Allow Yourself To Receive In The Bedroom Sep 16, 2021

Show notes

In order to enjoy sex, we have to receive. Whether it's time, attention, love, or energy, there are so many aspects of great sex are tied into receiving. Your ability to receive can affect many things, like your ability to be present in the moment, feel pleasure, be emotionally connected to a partner, and especially to orgasm!

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander talk about how you can get more comfortable with the idea of receiving in the bedroom.

Links & Resources:

Free Guide: 10 Ways to Feel More During Sex

Video: Female Orgasm - How to Know If You've Had An Orgasm

Course: Finishing School Live

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode17

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Episode 16: No, Your Partner Didn't Make You Feel That Way - Your Feelings Are Your Responsibility Sep 09, 2021

Show notes

Feelings. Is there anything that makes you feel more uncomfortable? It's hard enough to process your own feelings, so when your partner does something that brings up big feelings for you, it's so easy to blame them for the way you feel.

But the unfortunate reality is we can't actually blame other people for how we're feeling!

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss why our feelings are our own responsibility, and give their best tips for navigating challenging emotions.

Links & Resources:

Free Guide: The Simple Daily Check-In Every Couple Needs To Be Doing Right Now

Video: Improve Your Relationship - How To Follow GOOD Relationship Advice

Course: The Relationship Care Package

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode16

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Episode 15: The Secret To Feeling More Pleasure In The Bedroom Sep 02, 2021

Show notes

Have you ever found yourself thinking, "Sex just feels so blah. I don't get what the fuss is all about"? This is one of the most common complaints we hear from women! So many women want to FEEL MORE in the bedroom, but they just don't know how.

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander unpack why the key to feeling more pleasure in the bedroom is to start with masturbation.

Links & Resources:

Free Guide: Best Way To Have Your First Orgasm

Video: Masturbation In Relationships? - A SEX Therapist's Guidelines for Self Pleasure

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode15

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Episode 14: How To Navigate Different Political, Social, And Religious Beliefs In Dating And Relationships Aug 26, 2021

Show notes

Politics, religion and social issues are already such divisive topics, so what happens when you disagree about them in a relationship?

Should differing beliefs be deal breakers? Are they enough to end a relationship over?

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander tackle these thorny questions!

Links & Resources:

Video: How To Make Up After A Fight

Free Guide: Simply Daily Check-In For Couples

Course: The Relationship Care Package!

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode14

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Episode 13: How To Handle Rejection When Your Partner Says No To Sex Aug 19, 2021

Show notes

Anytime you ask for something you want, it’s a vulnerable experience. You're putting yourself out there, and in the position to be turned down. Which is why initiating sex is one of the most vulnerable things we do in our relationships.

In today's episode we are talking all about how to deal with sexual rejection, so you and your partner can feel way more confident initiating with one another.

Links & Resources:

The Art Of Initiation

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode13

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Episode 12: How To Let Your Partner Love Your Body - Even If You Don't Aug 12, 2021

Show notes

Body confidence is something that affects everyone, whether it's an occasional thing or a daily struggle. Usually we think of it as a personal issue - feeling self conscious, or having critical and judgmental thoughts towards ourselves.

But there's another aspect to body confidence that actually has a huge impact on how we show up in our sex lives and relationships: our ability to let our partner love our body.

In today's episode, Vanessa and Xander discuss how to let your partner love your body and share their best tips for receiving and accepting compliments from your partner.

Links & Resources:

Video: How To IMPROVE Body Confidence - The Ultimate Guide

Guide: 3 Simple Daily Habits To Keep The Spark Alive In Your Relationship!

For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode12

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Episode 11: How Vanessa Turned Her Orgasm Struggles Into A Sex Therapy Business! Aug 05, 2021

Show notes

When you hear the words “Sex Therapist”, you probably think of someone who knows exactly what they want and how to get it in the bedroom, right?

So what happens when an aspiring sex therapist is struggling with her orgasm?

In this interview-style podcast, Vanessa tells her own personal orgasm journey, and how it inspired her to start a business teaching thousands of women how to orgasm.

For full show notes: https://vmtherapy.com/episode11

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Episode 10: Communication Breakdowns: We Coach Real Couples Through Their Worst Fights So You Can Get Better At Yours Jul 29, 2021

Show notes

Good communication is really hard.

We'll be the first to admit that in the heat of the moment it can be really tough to validate your partner's experience, use clear and empathic language, and also ask for your needs to be met.

We make a living teaching couples how to have good communication and we STILL struggle with this.

So in this episode, we're roleplaying some of our listener-submitted arguments, and breaking down their communication breakdowns.

Links & Resources:

Video: 5 Communication Tips For Couples

Guide: Golden Rules Of Communication

Masterclass: Bring Your Sex Life Back To Life

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode10

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Episode 9: How Often Is Everyone REALLY Having Sex? And What's Healthy For Your Relationship? Jul 22, 2021

Show notes

Everyone wants to know what the magic amount of sex is to keep their relationship healthy. So many of us think that if we hit a certain quota, it means out relationship is successful.

So we decided to do a little experiment to see what the sex lives of our followers really look like. We created a sexual frequency and satisfaction survey, and we've now had 12,000 people respond!

Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode9

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