Oh Crap with Jamie

Latest Episodes:

22. Gut Health Interview with Dr. Kendra Becker Aug 30, 2019

Show notes

This episode marks two very special occasions for Oh, Crap! One is that Jamie is happy to bring you all her first interview conducted over Instagram livestream! The second is that her guest of honor is Dr. Kendra Becker. Kendra is an “integrated physician” operating out of Jamie’s own home state of Connecticut and specializes in holistic treatment of young patients and their parents. One of Jamie’s friends had recommended Kendra to her to help with perimenopause and the two quickly realized how well they gelled over how they choose to treat their patients and clients. In this episode, Kendra explains how her style of treatment differs from—and has an edge over—mainstream Western medicine, breaks down how important biodiversity in our digestive tract is, and reveals what our poop can say about our health. The Finer Details of This Episode: The genetic reason each and every one of us has a medical history even at the moment we’re born. The divisions in the medical community that led to naturopathy being shunted to the side. Why Kendra thinks naturopathy and holistic medicine have an edge over western and pharmaceutical techniques. Discussing the human microbiome and the important equilibrium that allows it to thrive. The first myth Karen wants to dispel for all of her patients. Kendra’s reason for why probiotics are so important, even with their potential risks, and how she prefers to store and administer them. Getting down to the big topic: what does your poop say about you? Kendra gives us a preview of one of her upcoming “Keeping Healing in the Home” e-course. Quotes: “One week’s worth of antibiotics can completely change your microbiome.” “What we need from our microbiome is the perfect balance for our unique individual.” “We want to make sure that we keep our microbiome in the perfect balance for our body.” Links: Kendra’s homepage - http://drkendrabecker.com/ Family Wellness Center of Connecticut - https://www.fwcct.com/ Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Pre-order my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21. This is How We Homeschool Aug 23, 2019

Show notes

Some of you may not know this, but Jamie homeschools! (and no! Jamie doesn’t think everyone should homeschool and she’s not trying to convince you that you should!) Her son Pascal has been learning at home since he was still fairly young, and both he and Jamie have found to be this alternative mode of education not only better suited for him but engaging in a way that mainstream schooling isn’t always. She also knows that several inaccurate, outdated and even harmful perceptions of homeschooling have sprung up over the years and feels they really should be addressed before people pass judgment. In this episode, Jamie explains what led her to teach Pascal at home, relates some of the fascinating things he’s learned and how she’s aided his education, and addresses some commonly held criticisms and concerns about teaching your kids at home. The Finer Details of This Episode: Jamie explains why she thinks conventional teaching in a traditional school environment is still important. Why Jamie doesn’t think homeschooling is for everyone. The incidents that persuaded Jamie to remove Pascal from the conventional school system. Jamie breaks down the different types of homeschooling available and how she decided on her preferred method. How the widespread compulsory schooling we’re used to is actually very new in the grand scheme of history. The ways Jamie was able to foster Pascal’s interest in paleontology and anatomy. The “grunt work” Jamie aims to avoid when educating Pascal and introducing him to new concepts. How you can go about homeschooling on your own and some important personal and impersonal resources you can rely on. Why some of the laws governing homeschooling may be threatened as we speak. Quotes: “We’re ALL homeschooling! It’s just some people are homeschooling part-time and some people are homeschooling full-time.” “Homeschooling really is a lifestyle choice.” “I don’t think of myself as a teacher; I think of myself as a facilitator.” “Do you want your child to learn or do you want them to complete the book?” “My choice in educating my child is a constitutional right.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

20. More On Keeping Kids Safe Aug 16, 2019

Show notes

The latest episode of Oh, Crap! is a follow-up to Jamie’s earlier installment on keeping kids safe (see episode 15!). Many listeners wanted to know how to most effectively speak to their children about sexual abuse and what precautions should be taken. Jamie doesn’t want to set off anybody’s anxiety, but these are important subjects we need to know inside and out so our kids can be safe out in the world. In this episode, Jamie discusses how to set boundaries with friends and family (and what reactions you should be on the alert for), explains which odd behaviors may be signs of sexual abuse, and wades through the turbulent waters of childhood slumber parties. The Finer Details of This Episode: Why it’s so vital you find a way to heal if you’re a parent who has survived sexual abuse in their past. The reason you should be forthright with your children (at a certain age) and not sugarcoat some of the world’s dangers. How to navigate the tricky space of dealing with an inappropriate—or even potentially inappropriate—family member. Why the very act of setting boundaries is key to figuring out who are the healthy and unhealthy relations in your life. Your kid shouldn’t have to go to sleepovers, especially if you feel uneasy about who will be there. Asking the difficult questions, such as “Will there be drinking?” and “Are there freaking guns here?” Take note that abusive individuals will seek out roles and employment that will allow them to exploit their power over others. Why your kids may be at greater risk if you’re a single parent. Don’t let your denial that the worst could possibly happen lead to your child ending up in a threatening situation. How to look for signs of abuse in your children or other children. Quotes: “We have to name the boogeyman. We have to look the boogeyman right in the eye to disarm him.” “You have to be willing to piss people off rather than jeopardize or compromise your child.” “Healthy people respect boundaries; unhealthy people push back on them.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19. Don't Kill the Wonder Aug 09, 2019

Show notes

Jamie and her friend recently came up with a plan to send their kids on a trip to the city on their own via the bus. To some parents, the idea of their teenage kids hopping on public transportation and jetting from the suburbs to the thick of downtown can be frightening, but Jamie wants to make sure Pascal and his friends develop the curiosity necessary to explore and learn as they get older and become more independent. She was also inspired by paleontologist Scott Sampson’s TEDx talk on the importance of raising children who are fascinated by the natural world and free to explore it at their own pace. In this episode, Jamie leads you through Scott’s TEDx talk, reveals how well-intentioned parental instincts can get in the way of your child’s sense of discovery, and explains how you can more effectively foster your child’s wonder. The Finer Details of This Episode: Why we need to engineer scenarios that expose our kids to the world and allow them to find their own way. How adults, specifically parents, can actually harm our children’s sense of wonder for the natural world. Starting off your children’s adventures with a simple walk around the block. Why being a good teacher to your child can mean backing off a little and ditching the “teacher voice.” Don’t “quantify” your kid’s nature discoveries—just let them geek out for a bit and enjoy them for themselves! Resist the urge to say “no” and let your children get their hands dirty so they can actually engage with their environment. Parents: don’t let your completionist tendencies get in the way of what your kids find interesting about nature. Instead of falling into the “technology sucks” trap, let’s figure out ways to more constructively integrate tech into our kids’ explorations. Quotes: “There’s no magical age where a kid just knows how to do things.” “We can’t let our feelings get in the way of our kids’ growth.” “We need to collectively shut up a whole lot more than we do.” “Don’t kill the ‘whoa’!” “Let go of the idea that you need to fill your kid with information.” Links: Scott Sampson: “How to Raise a Wild Child” - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn4ve9fLsuA Steve Spangler Science - https://www.stevespanglerscience.com/ Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] -https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

18. Expectations Aug 02, 2019

Show notes

It’s possible for parental expectations to be too high AND too low. You’ll have some parents keen on getting their little ones to read and write before they’re even in kindergarten while insisting they’re not yet emotionally able to comprehend big changes like moving homes. Social media plays a big role in perpetrating unrealistic expectations, with sponsored ads on Facebook and other platforms skewing these expectations even further. In the end, what your toddler can or cannot do most often boils down to what they have the cognitive capacity for—again, their little brains are still developing! In this episode, Jamie lays out the difficult truth about tantrums, breaks down what your little one may or may not be capable of doing at their age, and gets real about the unfortunate aspect of parenting you’re just going to have to come to terms with. The Finer Details of This Episode: Are you expecting your kid to listen the first time you tell them to do something? That’s expecting way too much for their age. There’s no way to really talk your kid out of a tantrum once they’ve already built up enough steam; you’re going to have to accept it and ride it out. Your little one has only started to grasp basic concepts like “object permanence;” logic isn’t going to work on them. You can use “emotion charts” to help your child understand the complex emotions they’re beginning to feel, but understand they really don’t have the ability to control their emotions. Individuation: the important psychological development that explains why your toddler doesn’t care what you think about how they’re acting. Parenting can just suck at this age, and accepting that is essential for parenting well. It’s important to set boundaries, but even more important to understand that your little one will work their hardest to test those boundaries. Just as it’s possible to start kids on certain skills too early, it can be too late to get them potty-trained—or at least too late to get them potty-trained without massive resistance. What Jamie learned from witnessing a ritual dance by a local native tribe. A list of skills and techniques you can expect your toddler to have a handle on. Your kid is way more capable of handling serious discussion than you may think. Quotes: “There is no way to stop a tantrum mid-tantrum.” “Shame is huge and our children can’t handle it.” “Nobody has it all together, and if they do, I dunno, they’re living a very inauthentic life.” “Don’t have this expectation that the whole world is doing it well and you’re not. Everybody’s having a hard time.” “We hold [the boundary] so that the child can learn.” “We expect these kids to be so compliant and yet we also underestimate them at every single turn.” “If there’s a pink elephant in your house, I can assure you that your child has noticed it.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17. Time-Outs Suck Jul 26, 2019

Show notes

Just because your relationship with your child isn’t perfect doesn’t mean you’re messing up! Kids are lovely, but anyone with a two-year-old knows they can also be chaotic little imps when they see fit. They’re going to push your buttons both by accident or because they’ll know it’s going to push your buttons. For these moments, it’s handy to have consistent, proportional guidelines for helping your little ones understand that they can’t always get away with everything—guidelines that focus on connection before correction In this episode, Jamie lays out a series of steps you should try to follow when your kid is acting out, pointers that will help them understand consequences rather than fear punishment. The Finer Details of This Episode: Two unavoidable facts: your kids will always find ways to act out despite your good parenting, and you will always be emotionally affected by that acting out. It is not a parent’s role to create the perfect human; we are here to guide our children. When your child starts misbehaving, ask yourself if their “emotional gas tank” is full. Looking into the surprisingly recent creation of the “time-out.” Why “punishment” and “consequences” are much more different than we might think, and the reason Jamie prefers the latter. Jamie weighs in on why she thinks time-outs are ineffective at best and alienating at worst. Why neither explosive anger nor dead silence are the best way to respond to a child’s misbehavior. Own your emotions and don’t blame your child when you get angry. How whispering is basically verbal non-violence. Bring yourself down to your child’s physical level when you need to address their acting out so you don’t seem threatening. Consider a “time-in” rather than a “time-out.” How you can use your hands—and even a blanket—to physically regulate their child until they’ve achieved calm again. Make sure that everybody has cooled down before you start helping your child process their emotions. When in doubt, it’s okay to leave. Give your kid only one chance instead of three and don’t be afraid to follow through on a threat to leave. Having a good “mom voice” or “dad voice” can come in very handy for getting your point across. If you do need to issue consequences for poor behavior, ensure they’re immediate and proportionate to the misbehavior. Quotes: “There are parts to parenting that just get ugly. We are raising freaking humans—and guess what? We’re human too.” “[Children are] always acting crappy for a reason. Behavior is not random.” “Consequences are not punishment and we have to remember that.” “There is some natural shame but we don’t want to ever cover our kids in shame.” “The angrier you are about whatever action your child took, the more you need to take yourself out of the mix.” “Whisper before it escalates.” “All you have to do is follow through a few times and your child’s going to get it.” “We always want to lead with the idea that ‘discipline’ means ‘to teach’.” Links: Good Night Sleep Site - https://goodnightsleepsite.com/ Brené Brown - https://brenebrown.com/ Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16. Mental Health Jul 19, 2019

Show notes

The last few episodes of Oh Crap! haven’t been as upbeat as Jamie’s usual output, but it’s important to address the more serious side of introducing your children to the world and dealing with the not-as-fun aspects of parenthood. To conclude this series, Jamie is looking at how mental health affects our parenting, specifically focusing on anxiety. We all need to discuss mental health in a serious and proactive way, while still giving one another the love and encouragement we all deserve. In this episode, Jamie discusses the different forms of anxiety, explains how you can begin to treat each kind, and gives you permission to not go to that big event you’ve been dreading. The Finer Details of This Episode: Looking at how we frame mental health in casual discussion and why it can help to not speak as lightly about it. Why Jamie’s brand of self-care can come off as “brutal.” What are the different types of anxiety and how do they each manifest? The reason cutting out sugar intake can massively and positively improve your general level of calm. Magnesium: not just for electronics anymore! How a little bit of liver (and several B vitamins) can go a long way. Be a happy flower and absorb some sun! Vitamin D is essential to keeping you feeling fresh and energized. You don’t have to go to that big event! If you do, both you and your little ones will feel drained and on edge by the end. It’s okay to taper off hangouts with a friend you know is leaving you feeling worn down. Realize that social media and YouTube algorithms are designed to throw upsetting and misery-inducing content in your face; seek out some happier stories for a change! What Jamie does—and you yourself can do—to get through an anxious episode with your wits intact. Why you shouldn’t be afraid of medication, especially if you need it. Medication doesn’t have to be forever, but they can be a helpful guide for when they’re a necessity. Make your mental health one of the first things you address in your day. Quotes: “For me, self-care is about mental health.” “A lot of what we know is not set in stone, and this goes for nutritional research.” “If you don’t feel good all the time it’s worth doing your own research to figure out why.” “You are not showing up fully as a parent if you are suffering from anxiety, depression or other mental health issues.” “If your family’s toxic, you have every right to cut them off.” “Don’t throw yourself under the bus for someone else.” “Stop looking for the bad; look for the good.” “We have to confront what our anxieties are so we can keep our kids safe.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

15. Keeping Kids Safe Jul 12, 2019

Show notes

Last week, Jamie looked at the many ways we can explain the heavy stuff—body parts, birth, death—to our kids in language that’s simple yet mature. For this installment, we’re looking at an upsetting but still very important topic: the creepy people who can be of danger to your children. There’s no way to keep your children completely sheltered and safe without emotionally stunting them and preventing them from truly growing up. They’re going to have to step out of your line of sight at some point. The best we can do is to impart some hard yet necessary truths about the world to them so that if they do find themselves in a troubling situation, they know what to do. In this episode, Jamie discusses how we can minimize the risks faced by our children while also minimizing the perception of risk—that is to say, how parents with the best intentions can misread innocent people and situations as devious and dangerous. Jamie also impresses the importance of teaching your little ones when it’s okay to say ‘no.’ The Finer Details of This Episode: How malicious adults manipulate fear and shame to take advantage of children. Kidnapping is absolutely something to be concerned about, but we need to understand how unlikely it is. Human traffickers exist, and they’re awful, but your children are NOT their targets. Debunking some myths about stranger danger, and revealing how the actual dangers your child faces may be closer to home. Why teaching our kids to say ‘no’ in a mature and respectful way is so vital to their safety and growth. How Jamie was able to impart some wisdom about consent to her son Pascal. Quotes: “It is imperative that we talk shamelessly about this stuff.” “Knowing who the good people are is just as important as who the bad guys are.” “We want to create this culture of ‘It’s okay to dissent’.” “It’s really never too early or too late to talk to your kids about keeping them safe.” Links: Free Range Kids - http://www.freerangekids.com/ Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14. Talking About the Hard Stuff Jul 05, 2019

Show notes

In this episode, Jamie would like you to step out of your comfort zone for a minute or two and really think about how you talk to your kids about Big Serious Things: private parts, reproduction, consent, and even death. Discussing these things openly in your household creates a culture without secrecy, weirdness or shame. This means that when your child stumbles across these topics in the big wide world without you—as scary a thought as that may be—they’ll be mature, prepared, and a role model for their peers. In this episode, Jamie impresses the importance of teaching your children the correct language for their bodies as well as the slang, suggests constructive ways you can discuss death with them, and gives her personal stories from in the trenches. The Finer Details of This Episode: Jamie discusses the surprisingly mature teenagers she met when helping a momma goat deliver her kids. Why it’s a bad idea to discuss sex and the human body through a lens of shame. Use the real term for each body part—private or otherwise—to make sure your child doesn’t feel alienated from them. When it’s okay and even preferred for your little one to use nicknames for body parts. Would you rather not have grown men be grossed out by women’s periods? Then start teaching your boys about them at a young age. How Jamie turned a funny remark by her son at the pool into a learning experience. Why “the talk” isn’t as effective or healthy as meting out reproductive education in bits and pieces over time. Don’t make the mistake of falling into the “My kid would NEVER” trap. Kids are going to approach the subject of death with curiosity rather than fear, so use death as an opportunity to educate rather than scare them. Quotes: “You’ve never met a better bunch of kids than 4H kids.” “I have a 13-year-old boy who knows more about reproductive organs than most grown men, and I have to say I think that kinda rocks.” “Anytime your child is gonna say a word that gets a reaction from other people they’re gonna latch on very quickly to the power of the word.” “Most women bleed. No, I’m not hurt. This is natural for women.” “The kids as they get older need help with the emotional landscape, not the mechanics.” “We want to create a culture of normalizing all of this stuff so that we don’t have a culture of secrecy and shame.” Links: Sesame Street: Mr. Hooper’s death - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4CKuSRYrcQ Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

13. They Just Won't Listen Jun 21, 2019

Show notes

One of the biggest questions on young parents’ minds has got to be just HOW do you get your kids to listen. You could be trying to get them to do the simplest task or impress just how important it is for you to get out the door in the morning but they just. Don’t. Get it. Turns out that a lot of things are at play in a toddler’s mind, chief among them the fact that their executive functioning isn’t really that developed yet. So what we think are clear and direct instructions might be passing between their ears in a completely jumbled order that doesn’t make sense to them. In this episode, Jamie explains why it’s so essential for us to slow the hell down when talking to our kids and gives you a clearer idea of just how children listen so you know which buttons NOT to press when trying to get their attention. The Finer Details of This Episode: The surprising length of time it can take children’s little brains to actually process the words you’re saying. Trying to teach your toddler too many words at once can actually overload them—and interrupting them doesn’t help either. How visualizing what you’re saying a physical flow reaching your child’s ears will allow you to better understand how they listen. Why slowing down your morning routine is so necessary to getting your toddler to follow instructions. Maintaining eye contact: key to getting your rowdy little kid to understand you. The trick to rousing your toddler from deep play without pissing them off. Practise slowing and breaking things down to make it easier to communicate with your kid. Quotes: “We’re not born with these skills, you guys; we develop them!” “You have to slow down.” “You have to control the things you can—being rushed in the morning is one of them.” “It’s not just that they’re slow, it’s that they’re gonna need your help along the way. “You’re gonna get a much better reaction if you make eye contact.” Links: Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/ Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Oh Crap! I Have A Toddler [Get my new book] - https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Oh-Crap!-I-Have-a-Toddler/Jamie-Glowacki/Oh-Crap-Parenting/9781982109738 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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