NOT REALLY

Latest Episodes:

60. "Not Really Orthodox" Apr 30, 2020

Show notes

Big COVID energy. What don't we talk about?

Paul started watching Vanderpump Rules for the first time and solved the mystery of the 7-11 Corona Bandit, and then we go into how the Coronavirus is teaching people how to live in a society, why quarantining is really designed to curb the worst among us, the cancelled New York Democratic Primary, DeBlasio's "Jewish" gaffe, unpacking the syntax, his intent, the Internet's outrage, and what it reflects. Also: Cuomosexuals, the cudgel of victimization, regional controversies and our new New York relativism, Zoom funerals, social distancing cops, pandemic as equalizer, Jeff Goldblum's Drag Race controversy, abusing oneself to please one's parents, the liberal obsession with lesser evils, post-millennial fusion of self and brand how it erodes the art of drag, delusional American exceptionalist fantasies of first-world status, and the conflation of otherness with virtue. Paul comes out as trad Cath and we reminisce about Catholic child molestors, and realize middle-aged Catholic smokers are the new tabloid sex symbols (Chris Cuomo and Ben Affleck). We also talk about why podcasters, YouTubers, and porn stars are the post-COVID entrepreneurial class, Hillary Clinton's graboid bid for the running mate slot, Rebecca Traister's Biden Trap essay, the spinelessness of the Democratic Party's leadership, and finally...a message from the CEO of Nasty Pig.

Subscribe to our patreon at http://patreon.com/notreally for more episodes, including Housewives specials!

59. "Not Really Voting" Apr 14, 2020

Show notes

Paul's drunk. Patrik's hot and bothered over due process. Neither of us are voting for Joe Biden, and it has nothing to do with sexual assault allegations. We also talk about the lost art of "getting away with it," and our favorite YouTubers: Paul is obsessed with Kalvin Garrah's war against GoFundMe surgeries, Patrik loves HRH Collection but finds her to be a "nondesigner," or a "fashion charlatan," if you will. We venture into Drag Race's Madonna Rusical and address our beloved listeners and their absolutely adorable demands!

We have recorded 14 special quarantine episodes with guests like Hari Nef (twice!), Alissa Bennett, Steven Phillips-Horst, and we did a RHONY episode and a full radio show with music!...If you aren't a subscriber to the patreon, so much awaits you once you join:

http://www.patreon.com/notreally

58. "But Actually Quarantined (Part 8 w/ Hari Nef)" *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Mar 28, 2020

Show notes

We are doing DAILY PATREON EPISODES the ENTIRE DURATION OF THE QUARANTINE! Go to http://www.patreon.com/notreally for the FULL episodes!

Welcome to the dollhouse! Hari Nef joins us to discuss this week's episode of Drag Race, season 12, the early seasons, bio queens, fishy femmes, who's got it and who's got nothing. We talk oedipal mom-worship in the drag arts, the trans/drag connection, Jan's obsession with going mainstream, Widow Von Du's watermelon realness, and wonder if we should just forgive Sherry Pie... We go deep on Sherry Pie's connection to Playwright's Horizons, the Hell's Kitchen theater circuit, Bulk the musical based on the movie based on the musical and who's playing whom, casting, the Vanity Fair party, our J train haters, social justice warrior regrets, and caviar dreams!

We also take time to address our listeners...you guys are cute but some of you think you're too cute. Patrik is going to start blocking you for it!

Again, we are not putting out any free episodes for the entire quarantine period so if you talk to someone who's not on the Patreon let that bitch know where it's all going down dolls!!!!

An update from PAUL! Mar 24, 2020

Show notes

We are now DAILY!!!

We are doing nightly shows over on patreon.com/notreally during the quarantine!!!! EVERY...SINGLE...NIGHT...

Tonight we have guest Amber A'Lee Frost from Chapo and two nights ago we had Alissa Bennett on to do a deep dive into the life and death of pornstar Erik Rhodes. Who will the NEXT GUEST? tune in to find out!

Also t-shirts are now available at not-really-store.myshopify.com

Follow us on insta at @notreallypod for daily updates and I hope all of our listeners stay in good health and good spirits!

Paul

57. "But Actually Quarantined" *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Mar 21, 2020

Show notes

We are recording Patreon-only nightcalls the whole duration of the Quarantine! Check out our first on on http://www.patreon.com/notreally ! We go into all the gossip and drama surrounding the pandemic and our new, shut-in lives, including recommendations, music, movies, trend forecasts and more.

Check out all our newest merch to order now at our shopify! https://not-really-store.myshopify.com/collections/all If you want to leave a message for tomorrow's show, call 347-709-2704

56. "Not Really Lonely" Mar 20, 2020

Show notes

This is the first episode in our nightly quarantine series, which will be available for the duration of the pandemic on Patreon! Subscribe at http://www.patreon.com/notreally for a day-by-day breakdown of what has to be the most melodramatic extinction-level mass behavioral shift since Paul was kicked off Twitter and forced to shitpost as @gaycrossfit.

We discuss our quars, individual symptoms, attention-starved celebrities, becoming gamers, "the death of cinema", Alex HRH Collection, the fulfilled prophecies of Wall-E, Idiocracy, and Glamorama, Paul's brother's girlfriend's intimacy issues, Coronavirus grifters, lying hookers, getting deplatformed, our entertainment suggestions, Danielle Staub's face, designer dogs named after designer bags, and Amanda Bynes's pregnancy.

Buy the first and very-limited-edition Not Really T-shirt at https://not-really-store.myshopify.com/collections/frontpage/products/paul-s-birthday-shirt !!!

55. "Not Really Quarantined" Mar 12, 2020

Show notes

Live from New York City's COVID-19 quarantine, it's your worst nightmare! We try a new recording method and—surprise!—it doesn't work out in our favor. (Apologies for the audio on this episode...if you complain about it, you're getting blocked!!!) This episode we discuss the Weinstein sentencing, Sherry Pie's sadistic catfishing, what happens when game shows unwittingly become true crime documentaries, the doxxing of Ru, cancel queens, Bernie's decision to stay in the 2020 democratic primary, the elite conspiracy against the poor, why corporations and big lobbyists want Coronavirus to kill you, the defaming of Jordan Wolfson, the importance of transgression in art, lame narratives, mediocre imposters, and your cynical gaze...

Subscribe to our Patreon! Not US, YOU! http://www.patreon.com/notreally

54. "Not Really Biden" Mar 05, 2020

Show notes

It's not-so-super Wednesday and Patrik is on fire! We address our previous comments on fibromyalgia, the attention economy and what celebrities will stoop to for relevance, Gaga's new single, the "time to be hated," and Hillary Clinton's pathological narcissism. We also devote the majority of the episode to SUPER TUESDAY, Biden's perceived comeback, underdogs and frontrunners, the pageantry of the democratic primary, narratives and who spins them (and who buys them), Biden's backroom deals with multi-billion-dollar lobbyists, Elizabeth Warren's endgame and insights into her suspicious political ambitions courtesy of feminist scholar Drucilla Cornell, respectability politics, being stereotyped into a voting block, why Bernie still has a shot, what you can do, and how we can help him win, what to say to your friends and family, and how to stay strong and push through! We also touch on the new season of Drag Race, our upcoming merch, and more!

Subscribe to Not Really on Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/notreally

53. But Actually Glam *TEASER* Full Episode on Patreon.com/NotReally Feb 28, 2020

Show notes

By extremely popular demand, beauty consultant to the stars Alexis Page is back on the podcast to take all (or most) of our listener questions about all things glam: products, skincare, chemicals, French pharmaceuticals, hype brands, moisturizers, lip, teeth, eyes, hair, chins, backs, wrinkles, neck lines, fillers, contouring, dark circles, you name it! Got a problem? Get in line! You may want a pen and paper to take notes on all the products that get mentioned in this extravaganza of drugstore goops you'll need to be an unclockable spook in the geish while shoplifting at Sephora. We also get to the bottom of how much it will cost to launch our own beauty brand. Patreon subscribers, step those pledges up.

Subscribe to our Patreon for the full episode at http://www.patreon.com/notreally!

52. "Not Really Legit" Feb 26, 2020

Show notes

We're back on our bullshit, throwing ourselves into a rapidfire roulette discussion of the week's pressing controversies, microscandals, and misunderstandings: the moral majority attacks on South Park and Salò, Jameela's Munchausen, Wendy's anti-gay remarks, Richard Dawkins's eugenics proposal, Donald Trump's review of the Oscars, Rosario Dawson's queer baiting, Scott Bixby's Daily Beast story, the deplatforming of Ben Mora, New York's missing winter, Judge Judy's Bloomberg hysteria, the death of Gummy Bear Davis, and Angelyne's new producing career. We also dive into the democratic primary and debunk some of the arguments against Bernie Sanders. Paul embraces his inner Bernie Bro and gets kicked off Twitter. Patrik explores the psychic delusions of the relational health care economy.

We also talk Netflix's Love Is Blind and explore the devastating pathology of Jessica, a cypher for aging single women everywhere. We also parse Carlton's bisexual dilemma and Paul explains the double standard of the bi-nary.

Join our Patreon for a new episode this week, featuring our beauty guru Alexis Page! http://www.patreon.com/notreally

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