Mom and Mind | Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression & Anxiety

Latest Episodes:

226: Healing Intergenerational Wounds While Navigating HG, Feeding Aversion, Postpartum Depression and Anxiety with Jocelyn Lam May 23, 2022

Show notes

During pregnancy and parenthood, we listen to SO many voices telling us what we should look like, feel like, and do. The stereotypes can be frustrating and demeaning to the point that we feel very unheard and unseen. Today’s conversation brings to the forefront the importance of finding self-worth and fulfillment in yourself and who you are, instead of what other people say. Join us to learn more!

Jocelyn Lam is the mother of an energetic, kind, and silly toddler. Jocelyn is a second-generation immigrant who grew up in Calgary, Canada, and currently resides in the Bay Area of CA. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist who helps folks with intersecting identities break intergenerational trauma cycles, particularly in the areas of parenting, re-parenting, and body image. Jocelyn has training through Postpartum Support International and is working toward her certified eating disorder specialization. In today’s conversation, she shares her personal experience in parenting as a second-generation Chinese and Canadian immigrant, along with a diagnosis of hyperemesis gravidarum, which forced her to quit work during her pregnancy to focus on her health. Because of that diagnosis, she became extremely depressed during her pregnancy, which did not set her up for a good postpartum experience. Shortly after her daughter’s birth, her daughter was diagnosed with feeding aversion, which made breastfeeding very difficult and affected Jocelyn’s attachment to her baby. Even with all the resources and the best clinicians, she struggled and experienced intense postpartum depression and anxiety. Jocelyn shares a lot of insight into her story and why things were so difficult for her.

Show Highlights:

Highlights of Jocelyn’s background and story
How her work has been informed by her family background and personal experiences
How Jocelyn dealt with Asian stereotypes, racism, and microaggressions as she grew up in white, conservative Calgary
How immigrant-related trauma impacted her value and self-worth as she was compared to others in every aspect of life
How Jocelyn had to work to undo the mindset that a child’s worth is tied to what they produce and achieve
How her daughter’s feeding problems as an infant seemed much like a trauma response
How Jocelyn’s diagnosis of hyperemesis gravidarum during pregnancy had her questioning her worth as a mother and left her feeling invalidated
How she had to learn that she deserves self-care
How fries from In-N-Out Burger became part of her re-learning process
How her hyperemesis gravidarum carried through her baby’s birth and postpartum period with constant comments from others about her baby’s size
How Jocelyn’s entire world became about baby weight, calories, and comparing her baby to others
What it meant to Jocelyn to learn to trust her own body and why she is teaching her daughter to trust her own body and empower herself
Why we really need to unpack what society and our family have taught us about food
How Jocelyn’s survival instincts came from her parents’ survival instincts until she learned to find space for herself
Why Jocelyn had to overcome the hyper-independence in her background and find community and support
Why Asian people typically reach out for mental health MUCH less often than the general population because they are taught to “Be strong and self-sufficient”
Jocelyn’s key takeaways about our focus on body image, generational trauma, pregnancy, and postpartum, along with the importance of finding community

Resources:

Postpartum Support International

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225: "Unwell Women" with Elinor Cleghorn May 09, 2022

Show notes

We, as women, have absorbed much history into ourselves over time regarding our bodies and our health. We wonder why we feel unheard and dismissed, and the more we learn, the more enraged we should become about how modern western medicine has treated women with medical and mental health conditions. Join today’s conversation for deep insight and a message of hope.

Dr. Elinor Cleghorn is a feminist cultural historian, and her critical writing has been published in several academic journals. After receiving her Ph.D. in 2012, she spent three years as a post-doctoral researcher at the Ruskin School, University of Oxford, where she worked on an interdisciplinary medical humanities project. She is the author of Unwell Women: Misdiagnosis and Myth in a Man-Made World, a book that I recommend highly to all our listeners.

Show Highlights:

What brought Elinor to write the book after a lupus diagnosis that followed a very complicated pregnancy with her son
How Elinor began her research with urgency into her lupus diagnosis and the history of medicine, expanding into other commonly misdiagnosed diseases in women
Why Elinor began at the beginning, learning about ancient Greece and the formation of medical practice
How women’s bodies were viewed largely as reproductive vessels to produce and mother male heirs
Why men in ancient patriarchal societies began to assert social control over women and their bodies
How the western medical model has been affected by social thinking, myths, and fantasies about women’s roles
How the word hysteria has been applied to a misunderstanding of women and was originally derived from a word for the uterus
How medical leverage was used in horrible ways against black enslaved women in 19th century America, leading to gynecological violence and reproductive abuse
Why Elinor wanted her book to expand to cover women’s experiences all over the world and not just be her personal story
What Elinor has discovered about women’s mental health across history
How dominant ideas have shaped societal views about the ideal motherhood and “how mothers SHOULD feel”
Elinor’s hopes for readers of the book: “Remember that your body is your own, no matter how medical caregivers might make you feel.”

Resources:

Amazon: Unwell Women: Misdiagnosis and Myth in a Man-Made World by Elinor Cleghorn

Connect with Elinor: Twitter and Instagram

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224: Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month with Katayune Kaeni, Psy.D., PMH-C Apr 25, 2022

Show notes

Welcome! Today’s show highlights some important upcoming dates in the world of perinatal mental health as we celebrate Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month in May. Stay tuned for the end as I have an exciting update to share with you. This podcast is very important to me. My purpose is to foster and provide space for people’s stories but to balance those experiences with a clinical perspective with proven experts in the field. As I say often, we need to raise awareness with information and education to reduce the stigma related to perinatal mental health conditions. Along with that awareness, I want to empower people further to seek help and support without shame or embarrassment. Thank you for coming along for the ride, and don’t forget to share the podcast and available resources with a friend or loved one who might benefit. I’m sharing a lot of helpful resources in this episode, so don’t miss out! Join me! Show Highlights:

Important dates in May, Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month:
Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week: May 2-6.
How you can help spread the awareness:
Share your story on social media and use the Postpartum Support International hashtag #maternalMHmatters.
Like the PSI Facebook page and adopt the MMHday Twibbon on your Facebook or Twitter profile picture.
Tell your story on our blog to help raise awareness of maternal mental health issues so that more women will get treatment and fewer will suffer.
Come up with your own ideas to highlight that #maternalMHmatters in your area, and let others know by submitting your event details to us via email.
Use our infographic to highlight that maternal mental health is a global issue.
World Maternal Mental Health Awareness Day: May 4.
There are worldwide efforts to raise awareness through social media, local events, and virtual events through PSI. Learn more at www.wmhday.postpartum.net.
JOIN US to raise awareness around the globe: @postpartumhelp on Twitter and @postpartumsupportinternational on Facebook
Perinatal Psychosis Awareness Day: May 6.
PSI has a Postpartum Psychosis Task Force, which is led by individuals with lived experience and includes providers, researchers, advocates, and PSI staff/board members.
The task force organizes around actions to improve public and provider awareness, increase and improve resources, reduce stigma, and provide legal and legislative advocacy.
The goal of the task force is to develop resources and integrate knowledge and sensitivity about the experience of perinatal psychosis and the unique insights of survivor-advocates into all perinatal mental health advocacy, awareness, education, resources, and services.
Other organizations joining PSI in leading the charge in these areas include Cherished Mom, Maternal Mental Health NOW, 2020 Mom, Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA), and more.
My exciting update: I have been elected to be the next Board Chair of PSI, starting in July 2022. After volunteering with PSI for many years and serving in various capacities, I’m very proud and honored to take this post and follow in the footsteps of some amazing people who have gone before me!

Resources:

Postpartum Support International

Postaprtum

Find PSI on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.

Cherished Mom

Maternal Mental Health NOW

2020 Mom

Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance (MMHLA)

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223: Perinatal Loss, Adoption, and Creating the Black Angel Mom Community Apr 11, 2022

Show notes

My guest today shares her personal story and clinical perspective of her complicated journey into motherhood. Her story includes the support of reproductive technologies, as well as the loss of her twin daughters and the adoption of her son. Join us to hear more.

**Today’s episode covers sensitive topics of perinatal loss and pregnancy loss. Use your own judgment as to whether it’s right for you or not at this time.

Jeanae Hopgood, LMFT, M.Ed, PMH-C, is an individual, couple/partner and family therapist, clinical sexologist, author, speaker, doctoral candidate, and occasional adjunct professor. Her Pennsylvania private practice centers people of marginalized identities (specifically Black and LGBTQ+). She helps them heal from family-of-origin challenges, relational difficulties, fertility and family creation processes, perinatal mental health, perinatal loss, healing and healthy sexuality, and realignment of the mind, body, and spirit. Jeanae is also the founder of the Black Angel Mom community, which includes a private Facebook community, a blog, guided journal, and conversation card deck. The card deck can be used by clinicians in therapeutic processing and discussions as a support system for their clients. Jeanae is the mother of twin daughters who have passed and one son earth-side.

Show Highlights:

How Jeanae had a lifelong dream to be a mom but knew assisted reproductive technologies would be her route
How her next steps included multiple failed IUI cycles, fibroid-removal surgery, IVF, and a pregnancy with twin daughters
How she experienced fluid loss, both light and heavy, that prefaced the traumatic loss of both girls
How Jeanae made something beautiful out of a tragic situation in giving birth to her daughters at 16-17 weeks
How Jeanae handled the tough parts of having her daughters photographed, dealing with the funeral home, and leaving them behind when she left the hospital
How Jeanae felt anguish, despair, confusion, disconnection, and deep grief after the loss
How Jeanae knew she needed help and searched for healing through grief counseling and journaling
How Jeanae and her partner tried two more IVF cycles a few months later–with no success
How even support groups didn’t feel inclusive of queer Black couples
Why Jeanae created her blog to include others who didn’t see themselves in the support groups that were available to them
How Jeanae and her partner were “kicked out” of their shared risk IVF program and were approached about the opportunity to adopt their son
Why they chose adoption, knowing this would be the end of their fertility journey; because of the expense, they knew they couldn’t do both
How the adoption brought conflicting emotions and feelings about becoming a mother in this unexpected way
Why Jeanae created the Black Angel Mom community to be the support she needed
A deeper look at where marginalization showed up in Jeanae’s journey to parenthood as a queer Black couple

Resources:

Connect with Jeanae: JHJ Therapy, Instagram, and Facebook

Black Angel Mom, Instagram, and Facebook

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222: Postpartum Psychosis, Failed Healthcare, Trauma and Recovery Mar 28, 2022

Show notes

Today’s show looks at postpartum psychosis, a much-misunderstood condition, and diagnosis. Unfortunately, we usually hear about this condition after a tragedy has occurred, but that is not always the hallmark of postpartum psychosis. My guest shares her journey, including the missteps by the mental health clinicians and medical professionals who didn’t provide the help that she needed. Along with so many misconceptions about postpartum psychosis, the main problem is that people just are not educated about this topic. Join us to learn more.

Jillian Parente is a licensed clinical social worker, adjunct professor, multi-trauma and postpartum psychosis survivor, yogi, and holistic wellness advocate. She is a champion of maternal mental health who specializes in trauma and focuses on women’s mental health. Most importantly, she is the mother of a smart and beautiful four-year-old girl. While maintaining her role as a mental health professional, Jillian continues the extensive process of recovery from her episode of late-onset postpartum psychosis, which occurred three years ago. As a result of that condition, she lost everything, and her entire life changed. Her story illustrates that “mental health does not discriminate.” Jillian believes that intensive healing is not an end goal but a journey.

**Because of the nature of today’s topic, our discussion may be sensitive for some listeners. Use your judgment, and listen when you are ready.

Show Highlights:

Jillian’s story, which includes intrusive thoughts in the postpartum period, normal anxiety for a new mom, and increased problems when she and her husband returned to work
How Jillian realized in hindsight that she had every risk factor for postpartum psychosis—but no medical professional ever addressed the risk
Why Jillian felt like a failure in her attempt to breastfeed her daughter, partly because of a medication-induced milk shortage and a lack of support at her workplace
How Jillian’s sense of emotional safety was shaken due to trauma in her marriage
How paranoid delusions led Jillian to fear that her husband would harm her and her baby
The chain of events that led to Jillian’s daughter being taken from her and her subsequent psychiatric hospitalization
Why Jillian came to the point that she knew she needed professional help
Why Jillian felt like an unsafe monster to her child even though she never felt like a harm to her
The misconception about postpartum psychosis: that it only manifests itself in the mother harming her child and/or herself
How Jillian transitioned to a different therapist and became involved in EMDR work
Why Jillian is still battling for custody of her daughter
What Jillian feels like are the big “misses” in her story where the system failed her and dismissed her
How the support and love of a true friend empowered her and made all the difference for Jillian in helping her summon her strength and tenacity to help herself and move forward

Resources:

Contact Jillian: Jillian Parente

Contact Post Partum for resources and support.

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221: "Happy with Baby...When Partners Become Parents"" Mar 14, 2022

Show notes

As couples move into life with a new baby, many changes come with that new little arrival. Everyone has their expectations about what life will be like when the baby arrives, but how does the reality stack up?

Life becomes a “new normal.” Whether expectations are realistic or not, adjusting to life with a new baby can be a time with many challenges, and communication with each other is vital. Join us to learn more!

Catherine O’Brien is a licensed marriage and family therapist who lives and practices in Sacramento, California. She is the founder of Happy With Baby, which she created for new parents. She gives them the advice she wishes had been there for her as a new parent.

Catherine’s new book, Happy With Baby, is a helpful resource for couples who are transitioning into parenthood.

Show Highlights:

What new parents are facing when a baby arrives, especially the strain on the relationship
What surprises many new moms about how their partners adjust to parenthood
How people can feel empowered and confident through the transition
Why it is difficult for many new parents to ask for help–for various reasons
How resentment in the relationship can build a wall over time if partnership and connection with each other aren’t prioritized
How to notice the signs of resentment within yourself toward your partner
How to start the conversations about connection with your partner and “check in” with each other
Catherine’s tips for breaking down each partner’s basic needs to manage health, wellness, and connection
How new moms can transition into a new space with their postpartum body and keep intimacy alive
How to prioritize time for check-ins together by planning the time–and even a fun activity

Resources:

Connect with Catherine: Happy With baby, Instagram, and Facebook

Happy With Baby by Catherine O’Brien

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220: Rage in Motherhood Feb 27, 2022

Show notes

Today we are digging into the topic of rage in motherhood, specifically, postpartum rage. We will discuss what it is, why it happens, what it feels like, and what you can do about it. Join us to learn more!

Erica Djossa is a registered psychotherapist, sought-after maternal mental health specialist, and Happy As A Mother founder. She has been practicing for over ten years and is a regular media contributor. Erica helps women adjust and manage the load of motherhood with her popular Happy As A Mother podcast, Instagram platform, and online therapy services. She is passionate about supporting moms and helping them embrace their motherhood journey. She is a Toronto-based mother to three rambunctious boys, and she can often be found sharing insights through her Instagram stories.

Show Highlights:

How rage shows up in the context of motherhood
How the “perfect mother” myths stifle a mom’s ability to express any anger
Examples of what rage might feel like for a mom
How we form our inward and outward boundaries for expressing anger based on the “rule book” in the way we were raised
How “vulnerability factors” are underlying our anger expression
How the narrative we tell ourselves around irritation and anger can either increase or decrease our stress levels
Red flag indicators to look out for: intensity and frequency of the anger
How to use the acronym NESTS: Nutrition, Exercise, Sleep, Time for self, and Support
How continued rage after putting NESTS into place indicates the need to dig deeper
Why anger is one of the most commonly overlooked symptoms of depression
Erica’s personal experience as a mom of three young kids under three years of age
How getting the appropriate help can change everything for a mom
How mothers experience the depths of shame in feeling anger and rage
Steps to take in finding help and support–and taking the first one is the most important!
What to expect from Erica’s course of five modules
How our stress hormones function in our bodies when we feel irritation, anger, and rage
Why support, help, and therapy need to feel accessible to everyone

Resources:

Connect with Erica: www.happyasamother.co/rage (Many free resources are available!) Instagram and Facebook

Erica is hiring remote perinatal therapists to join the Happy As A Mother team! Certified PMH-Cs from all Canadian provinces are welcome to apply! Click the link for details!

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219: Fertility and Perinatal Mental Health with Dr. Marissa Long, Psy.D, MAOB Feb 14, 2022

Show notes

Today’s show features a dear friend and colleague as we discuss the mental health impacts on fertility and perinatal mental health. The mental health side of these issues is often overlooked in the process of treatment, and many parents are suffering. Join us as we take a closer look!

Dr. Marissa Long is a sought-after expert in the field of reproductive psychology. As the owner and clinical director of ARC Counseling & Wellness, a private practice in southern California, Texas, and Louisiana, Dr. Long is dedicated to helping individuals and couples who are going through fertility treatment. She also works with women with high risk pregnancies and pregnancy loss to relieve the emotional distress associated with these challenges. She recently launched PsychEd Book Club, an innovative book club facilitated by therapists to support mental health, self-help, and social connection through conversation and education. Dr. Long is a lifelong dancer who performed in the halftime show at Super Bowl XXXII and the Sydney Opera House a year later.

Show Highlights:

An overview of Dr. Long’s work as a health psychologist who connects physical issues and mental health
Common issues and challenges that Dr. Long sees with her patients
An explanation of reproductive endocrinology and REI terminology and their common treatments
Impacts of the fertility process on people’s expectations of how they “thought” conception and pregnancy would happen
Changes to the sexual relationship when fertility treatments are needed to conceive
How people deal with feelings of shame, guilt, and body betrayal over fertility problems
Why mental health challenges don’t end when a successful pregnancy occurs
Stressors for patients on the medical side of treatments concerning medications, appointments, etc.
How fertility treatment medications can impact a patient’s mental health and emotions
Patient perspectives on what makes a good experience in fertility treatment
The problem with patients not being referred for mental health treatment soon enough
The great need for reproductive psychologists to work in conjunction with fertility clinics
What clients need to hold onto during fertility struggles
The need for support and connection for fertility patients–and where to find it

Resources:

Connect with Dr. Long: ARC Counseling & Wellness Instagram and Facebook

For support during fertility issues: www.resolve.org and www.fertilityiq.com

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218: Collective Stress, Burnout, and Coping Through COVID Times Feb 01, 2022

Show notes

Today’s focus comes from what has been on my mind and what I hear from many people. Families are feeling the squeeze right now with collective stress, burnout, and trying to cope in the middle of these COVID times. What we are all dealing with and the length of time we have endured this stress so far has many people hitting a wall with their mental health. Join me for this discussion!

Show Highlights:

Why many of us feel jaded because of all that COVID has messed up for us
How anxiety, hypervigilance, and the pressure of decision-making have added to the constant stress of managing everyday life for expectant moms and those with new babies
How COVID decisions have brought conflict and confusion between families and friends because of varying perspectives
Why we aren’t built to withstand this kind of collective stress and trauma for extended periods of time
How our bandwidth for stress has decreased since there is no good place for our frustrated feelings to go–and each new wave brings more uncertainty
The value we can find in validating our stress and calling it what it is instead of pretending that things are normal
How do we cope when our normal self-care outlets don’t help us?
Why we need to view self-care with a new perspective
Suggestions for easy self-care practices:
Consider unplugging from social media and news outlets at times.
Step outside or open a window to breathe fresh air.
Move your body or stretch as your body allows.
Find ways to connect with people whom you trust.
Listen to music or watch movies/TV shows that make you feel good.
My advice: Ask yourself, “What is ONE thing I can do today that will help me just a little bit?”

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217: Managing a Physical Disability During Pregnancy and Postpartum Jan 17, 2022

Show notes

Today’s show gives us a unique perspective on pregnancy and the postpartum while managing a physical disability. Join us to hear our guest’s inspiring story.

Rachel Brousseau is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Registered Drama Therapist, Drama Therapy Board Certified Trainer, and Perinatal Mental Health Certified Therapist. She has a private practice in Burbank, CA, where she specializes in helping highly sensitive mothers throughout their motherhood journey. She is the co-founder of the Creative Center for Motherhood, supporting moms through the use of group creative expression. Rachel has presented for Maternal Mental Health NOW, the North American Drama Therapy Association, USC School of Social Work, Cal State LA, and Heartbeat. She is also a Parent and Me class facilitator and teaches at the Drama Therapy Institute of Los Angeles. Through her personal experience, Rachel is driven to help mothers feel connected so that they never have to feel alone.

Show Highlights:

Rachel’s story of being diagnosed with a very rare autoimmune disease that affects her muscles at age five; as the progression happened, she had frequent falls and times when she couldn’t walk or navigate stairs
How Rachel still played sports and performed in theater with adaptations
Why Rachel struggled as an adult to get insurance, being forced to get creative with the medical system to get the services she needed
How Rachel learned to advocate for herself and can now support and advocate for her clients
How heavy steroids as a child led to eye problems like cataracts, glaucoma, and retinal detachment
Why Rachel rejected the idea of parenthood because she overheard a doctor tell her parents that she would never have children
How Rachel reconsidered pregnancy after her marriage, even though there was no research to go on for mothers with her condition
When she became pregnant, things went well until her third trimester, when she began falling frequently
After giving birth, she began having scary thoughts about falling and dropping the baby and her baby getting sick or inheriting her illness
How she began attending a Mommy & Me yoga class about 2-3 months postpartum; there were a lot of stairs at the studio, and Rachel was told to “get in shape” when she inquired about an elevator
How a similar experience at a second yoga studio left her feeling shut out, unwanted, and like she “couldn’t do motherhood well”
How art therapy finally left her feeling acknowledged and made all the difference
How Rachel handled going back to work with certain accommodations
Why Rachel started researching perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, making sense of it all, and determining to help other moms
Why Rachel stuck with strict criteria for her private practice office space to accommodate herself and her clients
Rachel’s checklist to consider for disability and accessibility
How support and telehealth help during the postpartum period
Rachel’s advice for those with disabilities in dealing with “able-ist” attitudes, microaggressions, astonishment, and assumptions
Why therapists and providers should take a support role and not an expert stance

Resources:

Connect with Rachel on her Website and Facebook.

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