Meredyth with a Why: Wisdom, Truth, Soul Guided Spirituality

Latest Episodes:

067: The Lies We Tell About Love Feb 22, 2022

Show notes

I'm never going to find the right person. All the good women are taken. All men suck. I'm never dating again. There's no one decent on any dating apps. I'm just going to be alone forever.

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar? These are stories we tell ourselves. They are lies. But we believe them. And then … They become reality. Our brain is wired to look for things that support the stories we tell ourselves and then that's all we can see. It happened to me once (twice, ten times), so that's how it is. Don't perpetuate this self-fulfilling prophecy.

In today's episode, I'm chatting with my daughter, Skylar, about how we shortchange ourselves and others when we believe these lies as truths. What we're really doing is holding ourselves back from the possibility of a healthy relationship. Instead you have to allow yourself the time to heal from any past relationship trauma (whether yours or someone else's), understand that love has infinite possibility, figure out what you need from a relationship, put yourself out there, and own your shit.

What's in this episode:

How childhood programming affects how we approach love

How to recognize this programming and reprogram it

The importance of taking time (to reflect, to get to know yourself again) after a relationship

Being vulnerable and aware of your thoughts and actions in a relationship

Taking ownership of your own actions (acknowledging and apologizing)

How triggers are proof that trauma still lives in your body

How emotional release work and EDMR can help with trauma and triggers

How to maintain healthiness once you're past the trauma (hint: communicate!)

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

Are you ready to go deeper? I am giving you the keys to the castle. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to hear more, make sure to subscribe so you'll never miss an episode! You can also join us on Patreon for exclusive content you'll only hear there: https://www.patreon.com/MeredythWillits

You can connect more by visiting me on my website at https://www.meredythwillits.com/ or connecting with me on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/MeredythWillits34 or Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/meredyth_willits.

066: Eugene West, Jr.: My Life with AIDS Feb 15, 2022

Show notes

Today, I'm talking to Eugene West, Jr., who is living with AIDS. He tells his story—no holds barred—about being bullied as a kid, about his exploits with drugs and sex, about crimes committed by him and against him, about how he came to learn that he has HIV/AIDS, and about how he's going to change the world.

If you've seen Eugene's TikTok videos, you know how open, honest, and vibrant he is. If you don't yet know him, you're in for a real whirlwind of inspiration.

Eugene's larger-than-life presence is an inspiration to all of us to be our unique selves, to tell our stories, to be open and vulnerable. In this episode, he talks about medicine, science, determination, work, god, faith, belief, love, and prayer. He speaks from the heart. He wants people to know he's a good person. He wants people to be themselves. And he wants people to get tested. It's scary. But it's scarier if you don't.

What's in this episode:

Eugene's experiences with childhood and young adult bullying

His relationship with his family

His experiences with drugs, sex, and crime

The story of his HIV/AIDS diagnosis

How this diagnosis changed his life

How he educates others and shares honestly on TikTok

The importance of getting tested for HIV

His mission of helping people think differently, show compassion, mend relationships, and turn their lives around

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

065: Being Kind vs. Being Nice Feb 08, 2022

Show notes

Being kind vs. being nice. What's the difference, and why does it matter? I like to think of it as being fake vs. being genuine. In today's culture, it's common to value how other people perceive you more than being true to yourself. In this way, "being nice" suppresses your feelings, emotions, fears, and truth. You can be honest and forthcoming, while also being kind.

On today's episode, my daughter, Skylar, is joining me, and we're taking a deep dive into how people, white women especially, gaslight themselves for the sake of "being nice" and making someone else comfortable. When you're "nice," for the sake of not causing drama or not making a scene, you are shutting down parts of yourself to be nice in a situation that doesn't deserve it.

There's a sense of empowerment that comes with valuing honesty over appearing agreeable, over "not causing problems." Don't let a part of you die inside to allow others to treat you poorly. Practice owning your truth and putting it out into the world. You will communicate genuineness and attract it, too.

What's in this episode:

Why value is most often found in accomplishments and what others think (hello, industrialized nation)

Meredyth's personal experiences navigating nice vs. kind

How to translate kindness to your kids and others around you

How defaulting to "being nice" can put you in potentially dangerous situations

The importance of valuing yourself and speaking up for yourself above all else

Skylar's experience with switching from nice to kind, and how it affected friendships and relationships

How your energy shifts when you do things because you are being true to yourself

How to confront someone with kindness (you can be honest without being aggressive)

Why we have to break through programming that stems from a patriarchal society

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

064: Confrontation Will Not Kill You Feb 01, 2022

Show notes

I'm back to solo episodes (for now), and today we're talking about confrontation. We're not born afraid of confrontation, but certainly many of us shy away from it. I've spent some time thinking about why this is and reprogramming my own thoughts and behaviors away from this mentality. And I want to share it all with you.

In this episode, I'm talking about how avoiding confrontation was instilled in me as a child, and how I learned to be quiet or to expect punishment for speaking up. This led to me being an adult in my 20s, 30s, and 40s, who didn't speak up for myself. Now, here I am at 49, and I have opinions and beliefs and complaints and concerns, and I speak them aloud. I stand up for myself. I no longer conform to what other people or society think that I should do. That mentality got me nowhere.

When I stopped caring about what other people think and when I stopped acting like everyone else, I became the truest version of myself. I learned that confrontation is actually ensuring that my voice is heard. That what I believe and think and feel matters. I learned how to be me, unapologetically. And you can, too.

What's in this episode:

Meredyth's personal history with confrontation (or lack thereof) from a young age

How to pay attention to where and when an avoidance of confrontation began, and how to reprogram your thoughts and actions

Why it's important to empower our children to have opinions and speak up for themselves

How avoiding confrontation is actually a form of gaslighting yourself

Giving your permission to acknowledge your feelings, even if they're negative, and voice them

Why putting off a difficult conversation or interaction only makes it worse

Embracing your uniqueness and differences of opinion

How conformity keeps people compliant (make a point to actively challenge the system, instead)

How the practice of emotional release helps with overcoming trauma

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

063: Strong BO$$ Bitches: The Difference between Religion and Spirituality Jan 25, 2022

Show notes

Welcome to the last episode in this series, Strong Boss Bitches with Monica Morton, a private detective, crime expert for a true crime TV series, and a life coach. Over the past several weeks, we've been talking about how to be your best and baddest strong boss bitch self.

To close out this series, we're talking about religion and spirituality. We're questioning why so many people who practice religious doctrine are not also practicing kindness and love. We're calling out those who use the Bible to pick and choose how they inflict judgment upon others.

Ask yourself some tough questions: Do you practice religion for yourself or to judge others? Do you use religious doctrine as a way to practice hate?

Too much trust in a religious institution can make you second guess your intuition. If you're so busy practicing religious protocol that you've lost a sense of love and compassion for humanity, it's important to find your spiritual path. No matter whether you believe in God or the universe or another divine being, we all have spiritual gifts that we should be using to bless others.

Stop judging, and start loving.

What's in this episode:

The fact that religion and the bible are founded in patriarchy and hierarchy

How religion is often veiled hatred

Prejudice is not Christianity

Why it's important to consider the bible with discernment

The physical location of the church isn't what makes you a Christian

How to practice spirituality without judgment

Why perfection and shaming doesn't get you anywhere

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

062: Strong BO$$ Bitches: Is Infidelity a Deal-breaker? Jan 18, 2022

Show notes

Welcome to my new series, Strong Boss Bitches with Monica Morton, a private detective, crime expert for a true crime TV series, and a life coach. Over the next few weeks, we're going to be talking about how to be your best and baddest strong boss bitch self.

We're really getting into it today. We're talking infidelity. In a world driven by technology, what is considered infidelity? What is considered a deal-breaker? And how can you keep the temptation for your partner to be unfaithful from happening in the first place?

Communication. It's all about open and honest communication. As a private investigator, Monica gets calls all the time from women who suspect that their partners are cheating. And most of the time, the women haven't had a conversation with their partner. They have no clue what is making their partner unhappy and how their relationship even got to this point in the first place. And let's be clear: this can happen with men whose female partners are cheating, or with same sex couples as well. This conversation is for anyone in a committed relationship.

In this episode, we're talking about different types and levels of infidelity, how to avoid winding up in a situation with a partner that is unfaithful, and the importance of talking about your sexual life and preferences with your partner. It's time to get out of the shame cycle and create the intimacy that you both want.

What's in this episode:

The potential catalysts that drive infidelity

The importance of open and honest communication (even when it's difficult)

How to bring spice into your intimate relationship

Why lack of communication doesn't mean everything is okay

Knowing what turns you on and being able to talk about it with your partner

Moving beyond the embarrassment and shame that often comes with sexuality

The importance of friends that you trust that you can talk to openly

How to talk to your kids about sexuality and realistic expectations

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

061: Strong BO$$ Bitches: Who Are These People? Jan 11, 2022

Show notes

Disclaimer: Today's conversation is not meant to disparage or demean anyone named Karen. That name just so happens to be associated with horrid things being done by white women. We don't necessarily want to propel the "Karen" trend, but the problem is real, and we do need to discuss this topic.

Who are these people? You know the ones. Practicing intentional, blatant, and aggressive racism. Out in the open. In the past few years, they've come to be known as "Karens," white women who feel entitled to their perception of white superiority. Let's be clear that white men exhibit this behavior, too, though there isn't a trending name to give them.

Openly racist behavior is at an all-time high. White people believe that this country is theirs, and that everyone else wants to take it away from them. Their rights, their religion, their ability to make money, their freedom. They feel their very existence is being threatened. In today's episode, Monica and I are discussing why white people think it's okay to be disrespectful to people of color, how someone in a position of power can embolden people to be more openly racist, and why white people need to be held accountable for bigoted actions.

Fellow white people: The takeaway here is that we have to be actively anti-racist. Speak up. Nothing changes if we don't stand up for justice and call out racism when we see it. And if you're practicing racism, you too can make a shift. We have to do better. Let's change the narrative.

What's in this episode:

The anger and fear that white people feel about "others"

The hidden "for a black person" connotation spoken by many white people

The importance of accountability and honest conversations

How the media and people in positions of power promote fear-mongering

Real stories about how white people disrespect people of colors

Why we need to believe other people's experiences that are not our own

How easy it really is to just be kind

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

060: Strong BO$$ Bitches: Why Your Blessings Might Be on Hold Jan 04, 2022

Show notes

When am I going to land a better paying job? When am I going to meet the man (or woman) of my dreams? When am I going to get out of debt? When am I going to be able to afford to travel? When am I going to have an authentic, close group of friends?

When, when, when. People tend to be focused on when something is going to happen, but it has nothing to do with timing. It's all about being ready. If you feel like you're not receiving what you want, it's because the universe (or God or whatever you believe in) knows you aren't ready. You're not being punished. You're being challenged to make necessary changes in your life, to learn lessons from life experiences, to grow into the person who is ready for the blessings that you seek.

In today's episode, Monica and I are discussing how to put in the work to receive the blessings that are coming for you and why you can and should dream bigger.

What's in this episode:

The importance of timing (the universe knows when you are ready for a blessing)

The power of manifestation

Why "no" can be an answer to a prayer (a blessing in disguise)

Learning from your mistakes

Staying positive, even when it feels like things aren't going your way

Why you shouldn't push or force something you're not ready for

How reflection is key to growth and progress

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

059: Strong BO$$ Bitches: How to Tell a Different Story. Dec 28, 2021

Show notes

You are not your past. Sure, your past shapes who you are, but it does not define you. You get to determine the direction of your life. To do so, you have to make a conscious decision to tell a different story. We've all suffered some sort of trauma in our pasts, whether it's financial or health challenges, bullying, sibling rivalry, divorced parents—the list goes on. History will repeat itself, until we make the decision to change it.

It's easy to want, or pretend to have, an idealistic life. But nobody's life is perfect. Hiding the imperfections and messiness that make you human makes it difficult to grow and heal. In today's episode we're talking about the importance of speaking the truth and using vulnerability and healing work as a means to create a new narrative. The most important story is the one you tell yourself. Decide how you are using life's challenges to shape who you are. You are in charge of your own destiny.

What's in this episode:

Why it's important to be honest about your past (with yourself and with others)

How to heal your trauma and move forward

Why vulnerability is powerful

Why staying the victim gets you nowhere

What to do when you see things in your life as "punishments" for past hardships

The importance of taking ownership over your actions

How changing your narrative helps you develop more meaningful relationships

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast

058: Strong BO$$ Bitches: For Real, Real Talk about Race. Dec 21, 2021

Show notes

Disclaimer: If you're overly sensitive or easily offended by honest real talk about race, this may not be the episode for you. Listen at your own discretion.

Let's face it: people are afraid to have conversations about race. It's difficult. It can be uncomfortable. You might not know what to say. Maybe you're hyper aware of race, or maybe you're completely clueless. People of color experience racial injustices every single day that white people will never understand.

And it's not going to get any better unless we start having real, honest conversations about race. In today's episode, I'm talking with Monica about the history of racism, dispelling stereotypes that white people have about black people, and shifting our thinking away from assumptions based on prejudice. And Monica is sharing personal experiences and valuable perspectives that you do not want to miss.

It's time to put in the work. Educate yourself. Say something. Even if it sounds stupid or offensive, ask questions. Learn and grow. It's not enough to not be racist. White people need to be actively anti-racist, and this conversation will help you take steps to do just that.

What's in this episode:

Honest conversations about race

How lack of opportunity and access has shaped our white supremacist society

Monica's experiences with racial profiling

How the media has portrayed black people in a negative light, further pushing stereotypes

Why cancel culture doesn't benefit true understanding of racial injustice

Making an effort to learn and grow, even if you make mistakes along the way

Why it's important to get to know and befriend people who are diverse

For full show notes, resources, and links, head to: https://www.meredythwillits.com/podcast