Matinee Manatees

Latest Episodes:

Conan The Barbarian (1982) Sep 27, 2023

Show notes

At long last, the manatees are covering the famous story beloved around the world about a long-haired bronze age man who was crucified by an evil empire and then rose from the dead to save us all from the serpent... Conan the Barbarian! The 1982 version, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sandahl Bergman, and James Earl Jones, directed by John Milius, and featuring a soundtrack by the incomparable Basil Poledouris, this sword-and-sandahl epic (GET IT?!?) has remained above all its imitators since through sheer style and unconventional casting choices. But does it hold up? Float along with the manatees as they tackle the important questions like: how much of paleolithic history do we actually know about anyway? Is there any combination of ingredients that make it a good idea to serve soup at an orgy? And of course, that age-old industry calculus: is it better to invest in oxen or orphan power for your mill? Get the answers to these and other pressing questions, or just nod off and dream of being exceptionally large, with the manatees and Conan. Lamentations!

Troll 2 (1990) Jul 30, 2023

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It had to happen. We finally check out the infamous, the legendary, the nigh-on-indescribable work that defined a generation, 1990's Troll 2. Directed by Claudio Fragasso and starring Michael Paul Stephenson, George Hardy, and Deborah Reed, Troll 2 has exactly zero connection to the movie Troll and indeed zero trolls in it. But does it deserve the reputation and cult following that it has? Float along with the manatees to the mysterious town of Nilbog as they talk sorcery, lavender dating, geography, and what makes a life well lived while trying to decode this mind-bending work that the world still isn't ready for and probably never will be.

Twister (1996) Jun 21, 2023

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We're returning to the 90's well with 1996's "Twister", directed by Jan de Bont and starring Helen Hunt and Bill Paxton. Twister is an interesting attempt at making a natural disaster movie by making a slasher movie and replacing the slasher with a twister. But does it work? Well... that's debatable. The manatees have more pressing concerns, like: just how complicated is barrel opening? Could a catapult solve this entire situation? And aren't the bad guys way better guys than the good guys here? Float along with us to find out the answer to these and other pressing questions.

Mars Attacks (1996) Apr 30, 2023

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There are two movies out there based on Topps trading card limited series from the 60's, and of those two, 1996's Mars Attacks is our personal favorite. Directed by Tim Burton and starring pretty much everyone who's ever been in another Burton movie, Mars Attacks has the extreme honor of being the first Burton film that's title isn't just a character's name. However, it also had the bad luck of being released the same year as the much-more-beloved Independence Day, and predictably under performed. But was it actually that bad? The manatees dust off this curio of a film and tackle the important questions like: what exactly counts as a flop? What is the ideal number of Jack Nicholson characters in a feature film? And wait a second, is that Ray-J? (it IS!) Float along and watch it all burn down with us. TW: intentionally over-the-top cartoon gore, violence, etc.

Avatar (2009) Mar 13, 2023

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We're back after an unplanned month off (sorry!) and checking out the suddenly-sequeled 2009 cgi spectacle "Avatar"! Written and directed by our old pal James Cameron and starring Sam Worthington and Zoe Saldana, Avatar famously leans style over substance, but that doesn't mean it can't have both, does it? As of the writing of this episode note, Avatar remains the highest grossing film of all time, was seen by pretty much everyone in the world, and is about... um. I guess it's Ferngully? But also Pocahontas. But all the characters you care about are giant skinny blue people. It's um. It's actually pretty strange. Have you seen it?

Float along with the manatees as they ask some of the less-frequently-examined questions of the film, like: are the avatars just alien men in black? What puts something in the uncanny valley? And, if you can make hybrid avatars of alien species on a planet with giant butterfly dragons, why choose the blue people? Also, book recommendations, discussions of caricatures and tropes, and several very contrived excuses to talk about Jason Momoa. Happy listening!

The NeverEnding Story (1984) Jan 26, 2023

Show notes

We're going back to the 80's for another movie with puppets with 1984's cult classic The NeverEnding Story, directed by Wolfgang Petersen and based (contentiously) on the book by Michael Ende. Famously one of the most expensive movies ever made outside of the US at the time, The NeverEnding Story features one of the most overtly fantastical settings of any movie ever, and the youngest cast of any movie the manatees have seen to date. But does it hold up?

The manatees face the truly challenging questions this movie poses, such as: Which fictional world would actually be possible to survive in? Which horrible puppet monster would make the best husband? And of course, just how old is Law and Order actually? Float along with us to find out the answers to these and so many other definitely relevant questions.

Edward Scissorhands (1990) Dec 25, 2022

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Seasons Greetings and Happy Holidays and so forth and so on! We're staying in the sort of spooky sort of holiday spirit with the 1990 Christmas classic(?) Edward Scissorhands! The first of a long line of collaborations between Tim Burton, Danny Elfman, and Johnny Depp (Helena Bonham Carter had not joined the gang yet) and also starring Winona Ryder and Matinee Manatees alum Dianne Wiest, Edward Scissorhands arguably cemented Burton's reputation and style for the rest of his career and became a standby for the kind of sad and somewhat spooky for a generation. But how long has it been since you actually sat down and watched it? The manatees discuss pressing issues like the propensity of neighborhood kids to hang out in derelict buildings, ideal utensils to have instead of fingers, and the sad neglected fate of Edgar Cookiefeet, the sad robot boy who could have been. Float along with us as we revisit this cult favorite, and a very merry any-holiday to you and yours.

The Mothman Prophecies (2002) Nov 28, 2022

Show notes

We're starting the holiday season early with the famously saccharine Christmas romance, The Mothman Prophecies (alternate title: Mothman Saves Christmas). Richard Gere plays a grumpy widower from the big city who doesn't want to do anything on Christmas but sit at home and play with his phone, but one day when his car breaks down in the idyllic rural town of Point Pleasant, his life gets turned upside down and he finds that he just doesn't want to leave! With a little meddling and a little magic from his mysterious guardian angel, Richard Gere begins to find love with a pretty small-town cop who has a lot of Christmas cheer, considers abandoning the big city career that doesn't make him happy, and most importantly learns that Christmas is about more than fancy parties and presents in: The Mothman Prophecies.

(TW actually a parapsychological thriller. Kind of.)

Leprechaun (1993) Oct 13, 2022

Show notes

We're revisiting some beloved Matinee Manatee alumni with Leprechaun, the 1993 comedy-horror starring Jennifer Aniston and Warwick Davis, our old friends from Office Space and Willow. Written and directed by Mark Jones, Leprechaun would go on to spawn seven sequels to date, so it must be doing something right, right? Float along with us to relive this bizarre little film and also get some free bonus content from the manatees, such as discussion on the proper handling of potentially rabid animals, learning fun new words like "numismatologist", and super valuable blood donation hacks you can try at home! (Do not try them at home.)

Office Space (1999) Sep 23, 2022

Show notes

Just in time for being way too late for labor day, the Manatees are revisiting the 1999 Mike Judge classic Office Space, supposedly starring Ron Livingston and Jennifer Aniston but actually starring Gary Cole and Stephen Root, and also featuring Matinee Manatee alums Orlando Jones and Michale McShane! While it was a flop at release, Office Space quickly became a cult classic in large part due to its portrayal of middle American office culture at the turn of the millennium. But does it hold up? Float along with the manatees and find out! Personal anecdotes about office jobs and incessant comparisons to Fight Club ensue.

The manatees share old guy advice on how to get away with slacking at work, why you should never dramatically quit when you can make them fire you, and why there is never a good way to ask a service worker out on a date while they're at work, and ask the tough questions, like: Is Milton real? Is this job actually bad or is it just the protagonist's personality? What does any of this have to do with Drew Carey? Answers to all these and more on the next exciting episode of Matinee Manatees! (Please note: description of episode as exciting is not intended to be legally binding)

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