Matinee Manatees

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Doom (2005) Feb 28, 2025

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We're going back to video game movies with 2005's Doom! Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak and starring John (the Wayne) Rockson and Karl Urban, Doom is very dark. Not thematically, we mean, like, brightness-wise. While the Doom video game revolves around sci-fi technology accidentally opening a portal to hell, the Doom movie revolves more around sci-fi technology intentionally opening a portal to a lab where an extra chromosome turns people into monsters from Resident Evil. Float along with the manatees as they try to feel their way through the inky darkness that is this movie. Sam renames the entire cast of characters, Ben introduces a tough new standard for bodybuilders in cinema, both discuss whether making Down Syndrome a villain-defining superpower in your script is a good idea (probably not, eh?). This one's a lot, gang!

Die Hard (1988) Dec 16, 2024

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Merry Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukkah/Pancha Ganapati/Festivus/Yule/Saturnalia, one and all! To try to drag themselves into the holiday spirit, the manatees are staying in 1988 for another month to check out one of the most hotly debated is-it-a-Christmas-movie classics of all time, Die Hard! Directed by John McTiernan and starring Matinee Manatee alums Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman, Die Hard is the story of a rogue super cop with nothing to lose named Carl Winslow before he started his family, singlehandedly saving a building full of hostages using only a walkie talkie and a hapless civilian on the inside named John.

The manatees dive right in to get at the important unanswered questions surrounding this classic, such as: does fear of flying usually strike after you land? Is it possible that Cybill Shepherd has a manatee child? And of course, what's the best way to consume the writing of Karl Marx? As a bonus, you'll get a free pitch for a Hallmark movie and AND advice on proper cocaine party etiquette absolutely free. Why? Because we love you. Happy Holidays, everybody!

Pumpkinhead (1988) Oct 07, 2024

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It's spooky season again! This time around we're watching the 1988 cult classic "Pumpkinhead" one of only two movies directed by special effects legend Stan Winston. At a tight hour and twenty-six minutes, it's the perfect fun-sized movie that's tragically fallen out of fashion since. But is it any good? Float along with the manatees as they get into the pulp of Pumpkinhead and ask the important questions, like: just what IS that big bug sound effect? What are the pros and cons of naming a child Bunt? Would becoming a pumpkinhead even be a bad retirement plan? And, when exactly did we become a bimonthly podcast? (Sorry!) Hope you like monsters; we're a bit divided ourselves.

The Prophecy (1995) Aug 28, 2024

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Apparently there were like a lot of movies about angels in the 90s, and 1995's The Prophecy is one of them. Written and directed by our old friend Gregory Widen of Highlander fame, and starring most of the cast of Pulp Fiction (but mostly Christopher Walken), this strange little movie feels like mixing terminators and vampires and cowboys but somehow being about none of those things. Plus, Viggo Mortensen shows up as the devil. Float along and check out this odd curio with us! I mean, you know, if you feel like it.

Men In Black (1997) Jun 26, 2024

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Aliens, you guys! This month we checked out the classic (?) 1997 movie Men In Black, starring Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones, but mostly starring Vincent D'Onofrio and his mime skills. The second Barry Sonnenfeld - Will Smith project to feature on this podcast, Men In Black is what we assume Wild Wild West wanted to be but wasn't. Float along with the manatees while they talk fashion, comics, aliens, secret coverups, and the art of zen slacking with this summer blockbuster from (almost) thirty years ago, and relax.

3000 Miles To Graceland (2001) Apr 22, 2024

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We're back! Life circumstances, you know how it goes, sorry for the quiet month. To make it up to you, we've forced ourselves to sit through probably the single largest collection of missed opportunities we've ever seen: 2001's "3000 Miles To Graceland"! Starring Kurt Russel and Kevin Costner, 3000 Miles To Graceland is a series of largely unconnected vignettes that purport to have something to do with Elvis, but with a very few exceptions, don't. Not quite a heist movie, not quite a roadtrip movie, not quite a concert movie, and not quite a crime movie, 3000 Miles To Graceland is really more of a... um. It's, uh. Well, it's certainly a movie. But was it really as bad as the box office returns suggest? Float along with us and find out, why don't you.

Dante's Peak (1997) Feb 19, 2024

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We're back and we're checking out another Patreon poll winner: the 1997 disaster movie Dante's Peak! Directed by Roger Donaldson and starring Pierce Brosnan and Linda Hamilton, Dante's Peak was one of two big volcano movies to come out in 1997, but the only one to take a scientific eye and really address those age old volcano questions, like: What if a volcano erupted like three times? What would that do? Would it look kind of cool? What if you, like, drove through lava? And others! This one's like two completely different movies, folks. Really something else.

Elf (2003) Dec 19, 2023

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Happy Holidays everybody! This year the manatees are going a little more recent for the 20th birthday of a modern classic Christmas movie, 2003's Elf! Directed by Jon Favreau and starring Will Ferrell and James Caan, Elf is a colorful little modern-day fairy tale that's pretty much appropriate for all ages and moves along at a good clip. But how compelling is it really? The manatees talk red flags in dating coworkers, the inner workings of hybrid engines, commiserate on the pros and cons of being the biggest guy in a workshop, and wind up talking a lot about video games. Float along with us and enjoy the season, won't you?

Jingle All The Way (1996) Nov 22, 2023

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Happy Black Friday week everybody. In the spirit of the holidays (consumerism) we're rewatching the widely reviled but oddly charming holiday flop Jingle All the Way, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sinbad, and directed by Brian Levant. It's almost thirty years old! You've probably heard of this one; it's almost universally panned by critics but has its fans regardless, and we're going to find out if we're among them. Float along with the manatees as they tackle the important questions like: should bodybuilders' kids be played by other bodybuilders? How do masks work, exactly? And of course, just how many daylight hours are there in Minnesota in December? Literally none of these will be answered satisfactorily. Come take a nap!

The Thing (1982) Oct 25, 2023

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Happy Halloween, everyone! We're taking a look John Carpenter's 1982 classic, The Thing! Starring Kurt Russell, Keith David, Wilford Brimley, and a bunch of other guys in parkas. While it was a flop at its release, The Thing has become a cult classic since and appears on just about every top 100 list of horror movies ever made, famous both for its special effects and for its paranoid psychological tone. But does it deserve the hype? Float along with the manatees as they tackle the important questions like: is the monster kinda dumb? Are flamethrowers normal de-icing equipment? And, are we sure this ending is actually ambiguous? Among others. Take a look-see if you've got a strong stomach, or maybe skip this month if scary movies aren't your thing, but we're diving right in.

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