Make Your Damn Bed

Latest Episodes:

516 || making friends as a grown up Jul 14, 2022

Show notes

times are rough + things are weird but you're a catch + most people feel the same way about social interaction as you do. so let's get out there and make some friends, tiger!

don't force it
go to local events
join online groups with similar interests
get out of your comfort zone + try
quality over quantity + let that shit flow

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LUH YOU.

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515 || i'm embarrassed to admit this but... Jul 13, 2022

Show notes

It's true. I got the plague + boy it kicked my ass - but the surprising part was NOT the ass kicking. It was the shame. I felt so much shame. Why? I did everything "right" and it didn't matter. Notice the quotes. This shit is a nightmare - there's no moral highground (unless you're deliberating being irresponsible, of course) here as long as you're trying.

The shame came from the fact that I didn't want to let anyone down. I hate the idea that I could have a negative effect on anyone else's experience.

All this to say - doing the right thing won't always feel good. It sometimes will be very difficult + personally challenging to do the "right thing" at the right time.

But you got this. It'll feel better once you do.

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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514 || how to set a sensory boundary Jul 12, 2022

Show notes

Social Interactions can be draining. Here's how to prepare:

Take a friend-ventory. Know what friends you need more rest before seeing, or prefer in small groups. Note when you don't vibe with a venue or a group rather than an individual.
Plan for recovery time, stretch breaks, bail out strategies, and other things you can do to parse out your experience with overwhelming stimulus. Sometimes, all we need is a quick break or a snack to reset the vibe.
Replace FOMO with a lil JOMO - that feeling you get when plans you weren't jazzed about, happen to get cancelled by the other person. Channel that every time you say no.
Be well rested, well fed, well hydrated, and in the right mindset before social experiences for best results.

RESOURCE: https://thehealthsessions.com/how-to-deal-with-sensory-overload/

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

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513 || sensory overload Jul 11, 2022

Show notes

Sensory fatigue: When your brain feels overstimulated with sensory inputs such as noise, lights, visual stimulation, sounds, conversation, etc. We all experience sensory needs + I truly believe we’ve all experienced certain levels of sensory overstimulation in some capacity.

Like with everything else in life, everyone of us beautiful humans is unique, which means our triggers are gonna be unique, so while some people are sensitive to all loud noises, some of us are more sensitive to specific tones or voices, we may besensitive to specific sounds like teeth on a fork, some are sensitive to more energetic misalignments, some are sensitive to certain smells, or sensations, like scratchy sweaters or clingy turtlenecks or too much human contact.

I suggest: pacing yourself to make it through the workday, shortening your workload, automating, delegating, scheduling, pacing, or planning breaks can help build stamina. Mental breaks can come in the form of safe playlists, meditations, zone out tasks, socialization, disconnecting, walking, anything that encourages a change in focus to restore mental stamina + encourage sustainability.

Go easy on yourself as you learn to process this shit. It’s gonna be harder on some days than others.

RESOURCES:

https://themighty.com/2018/04/sensory-overload-and-sensory-fatigue/

https://thehealthsessions.com/how-to-deal-with-sensory-overload/

@Thebraincoach on instagram

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TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR DAILY(ish) QUOTES: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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512 || the confidence catch Jul 10, 2022

Show notes

stop trying so damned hard + it'll happen. confidence comes from making the choices from your most internally aware self. give the external world some time to catch up.

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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511 || how to deal with manipulative people Jul 09, 2022

Show notes

"in coping with manipulation, it’s best to follow four basic principles: Know your rights and your limits; set clear, appropriate boundaries in a respectful and neutral way; recognize and avoid the other person’s efforts to escalate the conflict or muddy the issue; and always make sure to protect your own safety."

RESOURCES:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/i-hear-you/201807/4-ways-deal-manipulative-people

https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/psychpedia/manipulation

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TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR DAILY(ish) QUOTES: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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510 || too proud to neg Jul 08, 2022

Show notes

Negging (derived from the verb neg, meaning "negative feedback") is an act of emotional manipulation whereby a person makes a deliberate backhanded compliment or otherwise flirtatious remark to another person to undermine their confidence and increase their need of the manipulator's approval.

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LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

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509 || avoiding the love bomb Jul 07, 2022

Show notes

Lovebombing: A common manipulation technique is love bombing: "Love bombing" refers to behavior patterns where, at the beginning of the relationship, a partner showers the other with over-the-top attention, gifts, affection, etc. See: Kanye West's truckload of roses gesture...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/love-bombing: "Genuine affection is mutual and should unfold at a pace that is comfortable for both parties. Love bombing, by contrast, tends to feel one-sided—with one partner showering the other with gifts, praise, and declarations of love—and moves at a pace where one partner feels overwhelmed or as if they’re caught up in a whirlwind. Someone repeatedly crossing stated boundaries—even if they claim to have positive motives for doing so—may also be an indicator of manipulative intentions. Similarly, while it’s normal for new partners to spend a lot of time together, feeling isolated from one’s family and friends because one is spending all their time with a new love interest may suggest that the relationship is falling into unhealthy patterns."

Resource/inspiration: https://www.instagram.com/climateresilienceproject/

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GET A MONTHLY NOTE FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR DAILY(ish) QUOTES: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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508 || how to spot a gaslight Jul 06, 2022

Show notes

gaslighting: manipulating (someone) by psychological means into doubting their own sanity.

Maybe by: telling blatant lies, deny everything despite proof, make you question your reality, blackmail you, wear you down over time, gain your confidence + confuse you with infrequent rewards, project their shit onto you, try to align others against ya, make you feel or call you crazy or a liar.

Noticing + calling out patterns can be what breaks them.

You got this. Don't let people distort reality to accommodate their feelings.

Resource/inspiration: https://www.instagram.com/climateresilienceproject/

DONATE IF YOU CAN: https://secure.actblue.com/donate/givetolocalfunds

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GET A MONTHLY NOTE FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR DAILY(ish) QUOTES: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

LUH YOU.

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

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507 || let them struggle Jul 05, 2022

Show notes

trying to control and manage someone else's journey + struggle may feel like a way to show love, but it's really a way to take a piece of their experience away from them. struggle = potential to learn and grow. and unfortunately we can't grow without it.

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GET A MONTHLY NOTE FROM ME: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

TUNE IN ON INSTAGRAM FOR DAILY(ish) QUOTES: www.instagram.com/mydbpodcast

Read Julie's Medium Blog.

Support JULIE (and the show!)

Support + get some bonus stuff over on PATREON.

Get an occasional personal email from me: www.makeyourdamnbedpodcast.com

Tune in on INSTAGRAM ANDYOUTUBE or TIKTOK

Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/make-your-damn-bed.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.