Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

Latest Episodes:

When You Change Your Mind, Will You Lose Your Community? Ep. 195 Jun 10, 2022

Show notes

In this week’s mini episode, I’d like to share a few thoughts about the Empowered Evolving series we kicked off last week. I knew my conversation with Isabella would generate some feedback and I’ve received both positive and negative responses to it.

How do we remain connected with those we love, even when—or especially when!—we disagree. We want to live empowered, we want to grow and evolve, and we want to maintain intimate relationships with those we love.

Is this even possible?

I share the strategy I’m currently using myself in efforts to do all of the above.

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Empowered Evolving: Values, Boundaries, and Trans Ideology with Radical Truth Teller Isabella Malbin Ep. 194 Jun 03, 2022

Show notes

Welcome to Love & Life’s occasional series—Empowered Evolving. We talk about empowered living all the time on Love & Life. We look to psych research and techniques from psychotherapy to help us, as former Love & Life guest, Dr. Steven C. Hayes founder of ACT puts it, “take committed action in the service of our chosen values.” We live empowered by living out our values—clarifying what they are and then taking committed action toward them.

Sometimes, as we clarify our values, we realize we’re moving away from where we’ve been. We’re stepping into uncharted territory. We’re leaving comfort and certainty behind.

But, if we’re committed to maintaining an open mind and considering various viewpoints, it’s not surprising that sometimes, we change our mind.

We’re evolving.

Empowered evolving entails honesty and commitment—a commitment to our principles. And, it takes courage; it takes a lot of courage to speak out when your community expects you to adhere to its belief system.

Isabella Malbin knows about evolving. Her evolution began when as a doula, Isabella witnessed abusive practices in hospital delivery rooms. She moved into hypnobirthing and rejected euphemisms such as “belly births.” Eventually, her mentor asked her if she wanted to be a reformist or a radical.

She chose the latter.

Today Isabella hosts the Whose Body is It? podcast on which she raises consciousness around how women are harmed by transgender ideology, porn, and prostitution. She coaches women to help us wake up and speak out.

Isabella Malbin

Website: https://www.whosebodyisit.com/social

Instagram: @whosebodyisit

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Developing Deep Intimacy: The Essentials of Connection with Dr. Steve and Lisa Call Ep. 193 May 20, 2022

Show notes

We all desire deep connection. We’re wired for intimacy. But searching for it is difficult and even when we find our person and we’re caught up in the excitement of falling in love, our journey to intimacy has really only just begun.

Throughout partnership and marriage, our connection ebbs and flows. Sometimes we feel extremely close; at other times, we feel estranged and distant from the person with whom we want to feel most intimately connected.

How do we restore deep, authentic intimacy?

Dr. Steve Call and his wife, Lisa Call, address this question in their book, Reconnect: Insights and Tools for Cultivating Meaningful Connection in Your Marriage. In today’s episode we discuss the following and more!

Needing connection and the shame that often accompanies this need.
Shame in relationships—judging ourselves and our partner.
How discussing need, shame, and judgment minimizes their power and their negative impact on our connections.
The healing power of relationships, connection, and community.
Attachment styles and how they influence our intimacy.
How to be gentle with ourselves and our stories.
The lies of shame e.g. “If I told my partner this, I’d be rejected.
The “story” we tell ourselves about our worth, needs, and what it means to be in partnership.
Conceptualizing empathy as “feeling into” instead of “fixing.”
The power of what Steve and Lisa call a “right brain to right brain” response—what this is and how it builds connection.
How a fear that empathy isn’t enough actually blocks intimacy.
The essentials of connection!
The importance of rituals of connection—including play!

The Calls’ insight and wisdom provide crucial tools for relating—whether you hope to deepen intimacy with your partner or build connection to friends and family members.

Dr. Steve & Lisa Call

Website: https://www.thereconnectinstitute.com/

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black Audiobook:

Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Masculine and Feminine Energy: Can Empowered Women Fully Embody Our Feminine Energy? with Sarah Blodgett Ep. 192 May 11, 2022

Show notes

One of the questions I’m most often asked surrounds masculine and feminine energy. How can independent, empowered women embody feminine energy? Isn’t this essentially a contradiction in terms? Are we able to inhabit the fullness of ourselves—including our ambition and drive—without presenting ourselves in a masculine manner and thereby attracting men who lead with feminine energy?

Teacher, writer, speaker, and the creator of Everyday Starlet, Sarah Blodgett, joins us to consider these questions and more. Specifically, we speak to:

The difference between masculine/feminine energy and traditional gender roles.
The difficulty in trusting our partner’s protective masculine energy—especially if we’ve been in a controlling, abusive relationship in the past.
When to resonate in your juicy feminine flow—and when we may NOT want to be in our feminine flow!
Birth control pills and feminine energy.
Body image and feminine energy.
How our distrust of men may actually reflect a distrust of ourselves.
What men with high masculine energy want—spoiler alert: it’s NOT passive women!

Sarah’s Everyday Starlet blog and YouTube channel inspire women to embody their femininity and sensuality, and be the star of their own life! She shares methods for leaning into the fullness of our feminine energy! Pro tip: we can be fully empowered AND fully feminine!

Sarah Blodgett

Website: http://everydaystarlet.com/

Instagram: @sarahblodgett

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

How I Beat Depression Through Nutrition and Movement with Christine Coen Ep. 191 Apr 28, 2022

Show notes

Christine Coen was a registered dietitian and fitness professional. She guided and encouraged clients toward their nutrition and exercise goals. She didn’t think too much about mental health—until she had to.

When Christine fell into depression, she panicked. It was her job to motivate others, but she was struggling to even get out of bed in the morning herself!

She started researching and soul searching.

Christine realized she’d been focused on the exterior. It was time to look inward.

She began pursuing eating and exercise with a new mission—it was no longer about the external. Now, it was about the internal.

Through her own battle, Christine discovered natural methods to overcome anxiety, depression, and emotional eating. She joins us today to share these strategies with us!

Citation:

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2017/11/numbers

https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/astounding-increase-in-antidepressant-use-by-americans-201110203624

https://www.drugwatch.com/ssri/prozac/

Breggin, P., & Breggin, G., (2021). Covid-19 and the global predators: We are the prey. Lake Edge Press.

Christine Coen

Instagram: @christine.coen

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Handbags and Human Rights: The Sapahn Story with Brooke Mullen Ep. 190 Apr 14, 2022

Show notes

When I come across an empowered woman who’s all about empowering others, I want to share her journey with you—which is exactly why I invited Brooke Mullen of Sapahn to the program.

Recently, I randomly came across Sapahn when I noticed this gorgeous purse/backpack in the March issue of Harper’s Bazaar. The bag reminded me of one I’d admired several years ago in a boutique in Indianapolis. Apparently, I couldn’t get the bag out of my head even all these years later! 😉

So, I hopped on Sapahn’s website and found that not only are the purses, backpacks, cross-body bags, and wallets absolutely stunning, I also learned that Sapahn provides employment for women in Thailand.

According to Sapahn’s website:

“Our luxury leather bags and accessories not only look good— they’re helping make the world a more beautiful place by honoring the basic human rights of workers throughout our value chain. We’ve fully embraced a regenerative business model that prioritizes personal empowerment over charity—and human rights is at the heart of all we do.”

And since I’m all about this “buy a beautiful bag and uphold human rights life,” I wanted to share Sapahn with you and hear from its founder, Brooke Mullen!

Join us to learn how we can demonstrate our values and “carry forward” human rights through intentional, ethical consumerism!

Brooke Mullen of Sapahn

Website: https://sapahn.com/

15% Off Promo Code: LOVEANDLIFE

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Did You Inherit Your Anxiety from Your Parents? Ep. 188 Mar 29, 2022

Show notes

Recently, I appeared on aParently Speaking podcast with Miriam conner. Miriam asked me to speak about fear—specifically, how parents may inadvertently pass on anxiety to their children.

We discussed humans’ typical responses to fear—building upon the Fight or Flight model we all learned in school, and we explored the profound power of how we frame fear i.e. do we consider it part of our identity? Do we say things to ourselves like, “My anxiety makes me do such and such” or “I have anxiety”? Or rather, do we see fear as a part of life, but not a part of our core sense of self.

We can empower ourselves by considering the ways we manage our feelings and ask ourselves questions like:

Did I learn this emotional response from my mother?
Did I get “my anxiety” from my father?
As an adult can I shed any generational patterns of managing fear that aren't serving me?

We may have inherited anxiety from our families, but we don’t need to own it in adulthood!

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Mindful Dating with Marie Thouin, Ph.D. Ep. 187 Mar 25, 2022

Show notes

You’re probably familiar with mindfulness, but how does it apply to dating? Marie Thouin, Ph.D. shares how a mindfulness practice can enhance our lives in myriad realms—and certainly when it comes to dating!

Join us for a conversation surrounding:

The science of mindfulness—there’s a TON of research on it!
The self-knowledge mindfulness affords—even in the midst of heartbreak and loss.
Why mindful dating brings out the best in you and your date!
How mindfulness helps us move through rejection—including 3 tangible steps to become more resilient!
The importance of being curious and compassionate with ourselves.
Mindful swiping—it’s a thing!
How to value our lives when our deep desires aren’t currently met.
How mindfulness liberates us!

If you’ve ever wondered what this mindfulness stuff is all about and how it might enhance your love life, this episode is for you!

Citation: https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/topic/mindfulness/definition#why-practice-mindfulness

Dr. Marie Thouin

Website: https://www.loveinsight-dating.com/

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black - Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

How to Build Deep Romantic Intimacy: Love & Life Live! at Judson University with Elliott Anderson, MA Ep. 186 Mar 18, 2022

Show notes

We all desire deep, genuine intimacy. But so often, it feels incredibly difficult to cultivate! Sometimes we’re so infatuated we rush things. Other times, we fear getting close because we’ve been hurt so many times before.

In our first Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson joins me to speak to Judson University students about how to develop and cultivate deep, authentic, lasting romantic intimacy.

Specifically, we discuss:

What’s the definition of intimacy?
How can we distinguish between intimacy and infatuation?
Is there a concrete process for building intimacy?
What do psychologists say about finding the “total package”? Is it possible?
How clarifying your values—before you’re in a relationship—will help you build intimacy with your future partner.
Can texting build true intimacy?
What if I don’t have much relationship experience?
Why spending time apart in the initial months of a relationship can actually enhance intimacy.
Cultivating true intimacy—even if you have an anxious attachment and he has an avoidant one.

Elliott provides concretes steps creating a loving, fulfilling, deeply intimate partnership!

Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A.

Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson

Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black - Audiobook

Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

The Divorce Wound: Restoration and Redemption with Leisse Wilcox and Elliott Anderson, MA Ep. 185 Mar 11, 2022

Show notes

Divorce is brutal. The wound it leaves is deep and lasting. Can we find restoration and redemption after the death of a marriage? Can we resuscitate a demolished heart?

Leisse Wilcox and Elliott Anderson discuss the profound grief inherent to divorce. They hold space for the hurting. They honor the loss and pain.

And simultaneously, they invite you on a healing journey.

Specifically, they discuss:

The primal wound vs. the divorce wound.
Pain, shame, and blame surrounding divorce—and the gender differences Elliott has noticed in his work with couples.
Leisse observes divorce can trigger the primal wound, causing us to swim in a “soup” of shame and pain.
How divorce exacerbates the chronic “not enoughness” women feel.
The parallels between divorce and death.
The “zombie state” of divorce—the marriage is dead, but your ex is not.
Elliott discusses how divorce leaves a spiritual wound and splits your psyche.
Leisse compares divorce to cancer; she has endured both.
We share strategies for dating a divorced man with children.

Healing is a journey, not a destination. No one would pick the path of divorce. But restoration is possible; redemption is available. And, this road, though horribly painful, can help bring us home to ourselves.

Leisse Wilcox

Website: https://leissewilcox.com/

Rev. Elliott Anderson, M.A.

Work with Elliott: https://loveandlifemedia.com/work-with-elliott-anderson

Instagram: @pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black - Audiobook

Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes