Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

Latest Episodes:

Is Your Phone Sabotaging Your Friendships? with Miriam Conner, M.A. Ep. 225 Jan 12, 2023

Show notes

When you’re with your friends, how long can you make it before one of you pulls out your phone? You’re just responding to texts, of course, or, maybe checking the likes from your last post. Most of us do it all day every day.

But research shows jumping onto social media when you’re with friends IRL may have a detrimental impact on your connection.

There’s even a newish term for this,“technopherence”– technology based interference. And specifically, when “technopherence” disrupts your time with friends, it’s called “phubbing” – “snubbing [friends] in order to focus your attention on your phone” (Degges-White, 2022).

To continue our series on Phones and Relationships, my BFF and Love & Life alum, Miriam Conner, joins me to discuss how we can remain present with our friends and cultivate deep intimacy despite the ubiquity of technology.

Join us to hear the research and learn 3 key tips for managing phones and friendships!

Citation:

https://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/jennifer-aniston-friends-bust-thanks-cell-phones-article-1.3153045

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/202203/is-technoference-damaging-your-relationships

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-social-media-is-ruining-relationships

https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/how-smartphones-affect-relationships.html

Miriam Conner

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/northeast-ohio-parent-presents-aparently-speaking/id1303267006

Love & Life episodes featuring Miriam:

Ep. 188 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/did-you-inherit-your-anxiety-from-your-parents-ep-188/id1183475201?i=1000555598006

Ep. 153 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/no-pressure-besties-my-bff-and-i-share-how-its-done-ep-153/id1183475201?i=1000532446517

Ep. 7 - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/besties-forever-thats-what-we-all-say-but-when-life/id1183475201?i=1000381427870

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Is Your Phone Sabotaging Your Relationship? with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 224 Jan 05, 2023

Show notes

“It’s like there are four people in your relationship—you, your partner, and your two phones.” – Elliott Anderson, M.A.

Is your phone impacting your ability to cultivate deep, authentic intimacy?

Probably so!

Thanks to the phones in our pockets, we’re able to distract ourselves 24/7—from boredom, loneliness, or any uncomfortable emotion.

But what about when our relationship with our phone trumps our relationship with our significant other?

Join us for a discussion around the very real difficulties couples face when trying to balance relationships with technology and their relationship with their partner.

Spending hours on your phone may absolutely be sabotaging your efforts to cultivate authentic and lasting intimacy.

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Family Feuds: How to Manage Conflict at Christmas (or Any Time!) with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 223 Dec 24, 2022

Show notes

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! At least, that’s the fantasy . . .

We imagine warm, loving family gatherings—breaking bread, sharing hopes and dreams. Grandparents regaling us with tales of Christmas past. Toddlers and teens giving us a glimpse into Christmas future.

But all too often the warm, loving gathering is neither—it’s cold and combative. Breaking bread breaks hearts as we war over politics, religion, and COVID policies. Grandparents’ stories can’t compete with TikTok. Toddlers throw tantrums while teens remain glued too screens.

Elliott and I discuss common struggles families face when gathering for the holidays. Join us for practical strategies grounded in Family Systems Theory to manage family conflict at Christmas—or any time!

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Power Struggles: Are They Destroying Your Relationship? with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 222 Dec 15, 2022

Show notes

Is your relationship plagued by constant frustrations and arguments? If so, it’s possible power struggles are at the root of your disagreements.

In today’s episode, psychotherapist and pastor, Elliott Anderson, M.A., and I continue our conversation on conflict styles by examining power struggles.

If you haven’t had the chance to listen to parts 1 and 2 of this discussion, please jump back to episodes 220 and 221 of Love & Life so you’ll understand all these animals we’re talking about!

During his 30 years of counseling couples, Elliott has used the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Style model, which compares the way we negotiate conflict to the ways animals behave and respond.

Take the assessment in the link below to find out which animal you are!

As we delved into conflict, the theme of power kept emerging because, of course, so much of the dissension we experience in relationships is due to power struggles.

Join us to learn how to negotiate power—and conflict!—in your relationships!

Conflict Style Framework

Link: Thomas-Kilmann Assessment Test

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

How Your Family Handled Conflict in the Past Impacts Your Relationships Today! with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 221 Dec 14, 2022

Show notes

If you have siblings, you likely fought with them about anything and everything!

They were your first sparring partners. And, through them—and interactions with parents and friends, too—you developed your conflict style. (For more on conflict styles, check out part 1 of this series, ep. 220 of Love & Life.)

Elliott and I continue our discussion on conflict negotiations in romantic partnership by examining the influence of our temperament, birth order, and our family of origin’s (unwritten) rules regarding conflict resolution.

I ask Elliott to share examples from his over 30 years of counseling couples—which he does. But he also analyzes Dan and me!

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Is Your Conflict Style Sabotaging Your Relationships? with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 220 Dec 08, 2022

Show notes

Conflict is inherent to every relationship. And though many of us regard conflict as problematic and prefer to avoid it, we don’t actually have to perceive it as negative. In fact, when we negotiate conflict, we deepen intimacy and authentic connection.

That being said, it’s MUCH easier to negotiate conflict if we have a solid understanding of how we tend to respond when dealing with it.

Join Elliott and me as we discuss Thomas–Kilmann’s conflict style framework—a model Elliott has used with couples for over 30 years.

Discover your conflict style and learn how to move through disputations with your partner!

Spoiler alert: Elliott and I get personal in this episode—sharing our own conflict styles and how we respond when disagreeing with our spouses.

Conflict Style Framework

Link: Thomas-Kilmann Assessment Test

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Single Shaming & Finances: When People Get Judgy About Your Financial Decisions with Emily Burnett of Moso Money Ep. 219 Dec 01, 2022

Show notes

Do you feel judged for your financial choices?

If you’re single, you’ve likely experienced single shaming.

And, you probably have also experienced shaming around your financial situation. Single shaming and finances are a thing.

Emily Burnett should know.

In her twenties, she was $50,000 in debt.

She felt the shame.

Then, she pulled herself out of debt and she now helps others create a plan to move from financial shackles to financial freedom!

We delve into the following:
The freedom inherent to financial discipline.
The fact that you’re on a budget—whether or not you’re aware of it.
How to ditch the guilt around spending!
How women can validate our own financial choices.
The importance of creating boundaries around finances.

How to get support!

Emily is offering a free masterclass—Budgeting That Doesn’t Feel Like a Chore: Make 2023 Your Best Year Yet. 3 Simple Steps for Changing Your Money and Your Life—For Good. Sign up here! https://www.mosomoney.com/masterclass

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Where is This Relationship Going? Q&A with Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson Ep. 218 Nov 23, 2022

Show notes

We wrapped up our recent Love & Life Live by answering questions from both our Instagram viewers and in-person audience.

Elliott and I shared our thoughts on the following questions:

What is an appropriate pacing for a relationship?
Butterflies—are we looking for them? Or, is it better to go for that calm feeling?
How can I know his or her intentions?
How do I know if my attraction is healthy or if I’m attracted to people who aren’t good for me due to a trauma bond?
How can we deal with conflict in our relationship when we both try to avoid confrontation at all costs?

These are very common and important questions; we hope our discussion will help you on your journey to deep, authentic intimacy!

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Red Flags vs. Dealbreakers: How to Know the Difference! with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 217 Nov 22, 2022

Show notes

In this second part of our recent Love & Life Live, psychotherapist Elliott Anderson and I continue our conversation on how to cultivate deep, authentic, emotionally healthy intimacy.

Specifically, we tackle the following:

10 Warning Signs in Relationships.
10 Environmental Contexts and Concerns.
10 Family of Origin Dynamics to Observe and Discuss.
4 Non-negotiable Dealbreakers!

Yes, love is a mystery, but we can take some of the confusion out of it by keeping our head in the game! Elliottâ€”along with his over 30 years of experience working with couplesâ€”is here to help!

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes

Is Love Enough? How to Build Deep Intimacy with Elliott Anderson, M.A. Ep. 216 Nov 16, 2022

Show notes

It’s time for another Love & Life Live! Psychotherapist Elliott Anderson invited me to join him at Judson University last week in his Interpersonal Relationships class. In part 1 of the live, we delve into: The characteristics of authentic intimate relationships. The characteristics of intimate conversations. Healthy, appropriate pacing in friendship development. The characteristics of long-term romantic relationships. The weaknesses in connection that create relationship uncertainty. Find out if your relationship has what it takes to go the distance in part 1 of our latest Love & Life Live!

Elliott Anderson

Work with Elliott, Books, & More: https://linktr.ee/pastorelliottanderson

Dr. Karin

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin

Single is the New Black:

Audiobook Audible: smarturl.it/SITNB-Audible

iTunes: smarturl.it/SITNB-iTunes