Love and Life with Dr. Karin and Pastor Elliott

Latest Episodes:

Family Rules: Should You Follow Them Now That You’re an Adult? Ep. 275 Dec 14, 2023

Show notes

Elliott and I continue our series on how to best engage with family members over the holidays with this episode devoted to family rules. All families have a “code of conduct.” Some of these expectations are well known by all members. Others operate just beneath the surface. How do we manage family rules now that we’re adults? How do we navigate the expectations of our family and then adjust to those of our spouse’s family—especially when these rules are so very different? And furthermore, what if our family’s rules violate the values we now hold as adults? Can we interact with respect for our loved ones while maintaining our integrity and authenticity? Join us to learn how to identify your family of origin’s covert rules to ascertain how they may be impacting you and your relationships. You CAN remain true to your values and ethics while simultaneously enjoying your family this holiday season! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

The Pure Fat Loss Challenge with Justin Savich Ep. 274 Dec 11, 2023

Show notes

With the new year right around the corner, you may be thinking about resolutions. Many of us want to level up our health and fitness, but oftentimes we feel daunted because we’ve tried a hundred times before, yet never reached our goals. Help is here! Justin Savich, creator of The Pure Fat Loss Challenge, brings over 20 years of nutrition, strength training, and fitness knowledge to his proven program which has helped thousands of people lose fat–not muscle! Join us for Justin’s expertise about food, exercise, and weight. His inside info helps us sort out fact from fiction in the health and wellness domain–a space that so often feels incredibly confusing with contradictory messages from various factions and agendas. Plus, you’ll have the opportunity to kick off 2024 by participating in Justin’s Pure Fat Loss Challenge beginning on December 27th! Sponsor The Wellness Company Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠ Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order! Justin Savich The Pure Fat Loss Challenge: https://thepurefatlosschallenge.com/ Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/ Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Should You Cut Off Your Toxic Family? Individuate in a Healthy Manner to Improve Every Relationship in Your Life! Ep. 273 Nov 30, 2023

Show notes

Last week we talked about the importance of maintaining boundaries with our family during holiday gatherings.

But what if boundaries aren’t enough? What if we simply can’t get along with our family? We no longer agree on anything and we can’t find common ground. Should we completely cut them off?

Or, is there a better way?

Today, Elliott and I discuss the Family Systems construct of Individuation and explain why it’s an incredibly important process to move through in young adulthood—whether you’re single or married. We provide concrete steps for healthy individuating and explain how your levels of closeness and separateness to your family of origin directly impact every other relationship in your life—even in adulthood! We leave you with 3 takeaways to help you interact with your family authentically, maturely, and in an individuated manner throughout the holidays.

Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Got Boundaries? Why They’re Necessary for Holiday Family Gatherings Ep. 272 Nov 22, 2023

Show notes

Holiday family gatherings should bring us closer, but sometimes they do the exact opposite! All too often, we get together only to grow apart.

Help is here! Implementing principles from Family Systems Therapy allows us to cultivate true intimacy while reducing family drama.

In today’s episode, Elliott and I delve into boundaries. We share concrete strategies for establishing boundaries with family members—even those who pry into your business with questions like:

“Are you seeing anyone special?”
“When are two going to make me a grandma?”
“You’re not voting for _____________ next year, are you???”

We provide examples of how to:

respond to invasive interrogation you don’t care to address.
remain committed to your values and principles without alienating family members whose beliefs differ from yours.
mindfully move through difficult conversations.

Join us for a timely conversation designed to prepare you for upcoming family gatherings. Spoiler alert: you CAN maintain boundaries while growing closer!

Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Black Friday/Cyber Monday: TWC sale begins on Friday 11/24 through Monday 11/27 end of day!

Sale Details:

25% OFF Supplements

20% OFF Monthly Memberships

15% OFF Emergency & Covid Kits (USA RESIDENTS ONLY)

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

3 Ways to Avoid Family Drama Over the Holidays! Ep. 271 Nov 17, 2023

Show notes

The holidays are upon us and in efforts to make the season as bright as possible, Elliott and I want to share principles from one of our favorite therapeutic orientations—Family Systems Theory and Therapy.

And yes, siblings can get under our skin in ways no one else can. And sure, in-law interactions may be strained. And of course, blended families present us with unique challenges, but still—we CAN remain joyful at parties and gatherings and we CAN minimize the drama by keeping 3 key principles in mind.

Join us for this first episode in our series on how to dial down family drama this holiday season!

Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: ⁠https://www.twc.health/lovelife⁠

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Money, Values, & Love: “Dear Fellow Spender” with Emily Burnett Ep. 270 Nov 09, 2023

Show notes

In fact, we’re taught to avoid talking about finances because it’s considered a bit gauche—especially when you don’t know someone very well.

Furthermore, what if you’re not all that proud of your relationship with money? Maybe your bank account refuses to grow and “retail therapy” is your go-to coping mechanism! Or, it seems you just can’t get ahead no matter how much you save!

Emily Burnett can relate. She’s a self-proclaimed “money mess” and “budget loather” who was thousands of dollars in debt. But then, she dramatically changed her relationship with money and found freedom in fiscal responsibility!

She shares her journey in her new book, Dear Fellow Spender: Enjoy Using Your Money to Get Out of Debt, Build Savings, and Create a Life You Love.

And no, we don’t need to have our finances completely sorted out in order to have healthy partnerships, but we do need to have an understanding of our relationship with money—because, research shows it’s a factor that greatly influences marriages.

Elliott and I have often discussed the reality that conflict about finances always ranks very high as a factor in why couples get divorced.

Our spending habits reflect our values—and you know we’re all about values on Love & Life!

So whether you stick to a firm budget or you’re a “money mess” as Emily used to be, we welcome you to this conversation about money, love, and values with Emily Burnett of Moso Money.

Sponsor The Wellness Company

Website: https://www.twc.health/lovelife

Code: LOVELIFE for 15% off your order!

Emily Burnett

Website: https://www.mosomoney.com/

Dear Fellow Spender: https://www.mosomoney.com/book

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Citations:

https://www.gottman.com/blog/arguments-money-arent-money/

Papp L., Cummings, E., Goeke-Morey, M. (2009). For richer, for poorer: Money as a topic of marital conflict in the home. Family Relations, 58(1), 91-103.

3 Ways NOT to Stray Ep. 269 Nov 02, 2023

Show notes

I asked Elliott the other day, “We’ve been talking about cheating and recovery, but what can we do to try to prevent affairs from happening in the first place?”

And yes, healing is possible and, as Elliott continues to stress, we may even find deeper intimacy after infidelity. But of course, wouldn’t we prefer to grow closer to our spouse without going through a marital breakdown?

In this conversation, we present 3 strategies for keeping your marriage solid and connected! We can’t control our partner, but we CAN take steps ourselves to strengthen our bond and increase the likelihood of remaining faithful to each other.

Elliott and I share examples of what we do personally to keep the fire burning (REO reference for our fellow GenXers 🙂) in our marriages–along with research and Elliott’s clinical expertise gleaned from over 30 years of working with couples.

We leave you with 3 practical, actionable steps to take today to help you NOT to stray!

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Cheating: What's the First Step Towards Healing? Ep. 268 Oct 28, 2023

Show notes

After posting episodes 265 and 266, Karin and I continue to see a need to continue the discussion about cheating. So today we continue our cheating series by responding additional concerns and discuss how to start the healing process.

Specifically, we address:

What's the first step in the healing process?
How to navigate forgiveness and grief
What to do if children are involved
What rebuilding trust looks like after betrayal

Join us for this third segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions!

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Is Watching Porn Cheating? Ep. 267 Oct 19, 2023

Show notes

After posting episode 265, Elliott and I received additional questions about infidelity, so we wanted to continue our cheating series by responding to these concerns.

Specifically, we address:

What exactly is cheating?
Is flirting too much a violation?
What about porn?
Connecting with an old flame on Facebook?
Close friendships with coworkers?
What are the first steps to take if one of us has broken our vows?
Can we ever rebuild trust?
What if the betrayer won’t acknowledge the indiscretion?
How can we ever forgive?
When is separation necessary?
What can we do when we’re single to prepare ourselves for a strong marriage—one in which neither partner is likely to stray?
Spoiler alert: there’s actually a LOT we can do when we’re single to set ourselves up for an affair-proof future marriage!

Join us for this second segment in our series on cheating. And please, let us know if you have any questions!

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson

Let’s Talk About It: What’s the Big Deal About Masks? Ep. 266 Oct 12, 2023

Show notes

Just Wear the Mask. It’s Not a Big Deal! Or, is It? A Developmental Psychologist’s Concerns Regarding Masks on Children—and All of Us!

We’re bringing you another segment of our “Love & Life: Let’s Talk About It” series.

These are topics that can be hard to broach and in some cases, conversations around these issues have been censored—either by social media platforms, or by social agreement—because,”Let’s not talk about it. We’ll just get into a fight.”

But avoiding subjects to preserve harmony doesn’t foster true intimacy—and because Elliott and I are all about deep, meaningful, intimate relationships, we’re going to speak honestly about those issues which are most important to us.

Today’s “Love and Life: Let’s Talk About It!” topic? Masks.

Over the past several years of the pandemic, masks have become an insanely contentious topic. The debate has waged for 3, almost 4 years now, so I’m sure you have your opinion and I’m not trying to change anyone’s mind.

I just want to bring up some relevant factors that I’ve rarely heard expressed in the debate.

I’m approaching this from my vantage point as a developmental psychologist because there are several theories I learned about in my grad work which have implications for masks on children—and on all of us!

Join us to learn the research suggesting masking IS a big deal. Children have suffered and research shows there may be lasting effects to this experiment we all entered in by covering our faces over the last several years.

Citations

COVID rules are blamed for 23% dive in young children's development: Disturbing study shows scores in three key cognitive tests slumped between 2018 and 2021, with face mask rules among possible culprits

https://www.dailymail.co.

uk/news/article-10247315/Face-masks-harm-childrens-development-Study-blames-significantly-reduced-development.html

Early maternal mirroring predicts infant motor system activation during facial expression observation

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-12097-w

Early origins of mental disorder - risk factors in the perinatal and infant period

https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-016-0982-7

EQ vs. IQ Which is Most Important in the Success or Failure of a Student?

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1877042812021477?ref=pdf_download&fr=RR-2&rr=813ff5c13d7c140a

Imitation in Infancy: A Critical Review

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0065240708604176

The Mask of Ignorance

https://www.city-journal.org/article/the-mask-of-ignorance

Mothers with a mask or… the still-face experiment?

https://eipmh.com/mothers-with-mask-or-the-still-face-experiment/

Possible toxicity of chronic carbon dioxide exposure associated with face mask use, particularly in pregnant women, children and adolescents – A scoping review

https://www.cell.com/heliyon/pdf/S2405-8440(23)01324-5.pdf

Dr. Karin & Pastor Elliott Anderson

Website: http://loveandlifemedia.com/

Empowered Dating Playbook: smarturl.it/EmpoweredDatingBook

Instagram: @dr.karin | @pastorelliottanderson