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Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! — Comedy
Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Giving Voice to the Things You Didn’t Want to Hear About

Latest Episodes:

Jeez, kid. Thats all you did? Spice up your life a little! Oh, wait... yeah, that's fucked up. — Lou Reads – Anonymous Confessions from 2005 Mar 10, 2014
Show notes

Jeez, kid. Thats all you did? Spice up your life a little! Oh, wait… yeah, that’s fucked up.

This episode is drawn straight from the Comedy Goldmine threads from the Something Awful archives. It features en-edited confessions that were sent in anonymously by the members of the Something Awful forums. I hope you enjoy it. The titles pretty much says it all!

On and by the way….
HOLY FIVE YEARS, BATMAN!

HOLY FIVE YEARS, BATMAN! — Lou Reads – Anonymous Confessions from 2005 Mar 10, 2014
Show notes

Jeez, kid. Thats all you did? Spice up your life a little! Oh, wait… yeah, that’s fucked up.

This episode is drawn straight from the Comedy Goldmine threads from the Something Awful archives. It features en-edited confessions that were sent in anonymously by the members of the Something Awful forums. I hope you enjoy it. The titles pretty much says it all!

On and by the way….
HOLY FIVE YEARS, BATMAN!

I think I'm handling my heroin habit pretty well. No one has a clue! — Lou Reads ep119: Dumb Things Done on Drugs Feb 16, 2014
Show notes

I hope you find it a breath of fresh air after the last episodes anal destruction theme. I promise no anal anything this episode. If you want to do some anal stuff while you listen that is your God damn business! This episode is basically people sharing dumb stuff they’ve done on drugs. I don’t have much to say about it beyond that. Maybe, just “Thanks to all the drug users out there who are so wonderfully open about sharing their experiences on the internet.”

I think I’m handling my heroin habit pretty well. No one has a clue!

I hope you enjoy it. You may enjoy it more if you are on drugs.

CROM LAUGHS AT YOUR PUNY ANAL TRAINING TOYS! Seriously, these are like a q-tip to these peoples asses... — Lou Reads ep118: Tales of Anal Destruction from FetLife.com Jan 14, 2014
Show notes

Hey, I’m talking to you! If would you take that 2 liter bottle of soda out of your ass once in a while maybe you could pay attention to me when I tell you that I just read from the highly disturbing pages of Fetlife.com again. What did I read? Well, it just so happens that I read from a couple of groups who are dedicated to severe ass stretching. So severe, in fact, that I didn’t even feel like I could find an image that would do it justice or that I could stomach… THAT BAD! Ok one image.

CROM LAUGHS AT YOUR PUNY ANAL TRAINING TOYS!

Anyway, please enjoy this episode if you can. It’s full of some pretty intensely crazy… stuff. Thanks for listening!

black-friday1 — Lou Reads Black Friday Nightmares from AskReddit Jan 01, 2014
Show notes

Hey, 2013 is over! The holiday season is over! What better time than now to look back at the experiences of the retail workers who had to deal with insane shoppers on Black Friday! Ok, I agree. Anytime would have been fine. I picked now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!! Here’s hoping to another year full of internet bizarreness and other related silly pursuits!

If you’re interested you can find the original Reddit thread here.

Thanks for listening!

817225987_296016 — Lou Reads Black Friday Nightmares from AskReddit Jan 01, 2014
Show notes

Hey, 2013 is over! The holiday season is over! What better time than now to look back at the experiences of the retail workers who had to deal with insane shoppers on Black Friday! Ok, I agree. Anytime would have been fine. I picked now.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY!! Here’s hoping to another year full of internet bizarreness and other related silly pursuits!

If you’re interested you can find the original Reddit thread here.

Thanks for listening!

Groupie — Lou Reads Stories of Hooking Up with Celebrities from Groupies (from AskReddit) Dec 10, 2013
Show notes

I have never had sex with a famous person but these people (claim to) have… The closest I think I got was harassing Siouxsie Sioux at a bar once. Wait, there was never any chance of me having sex with her. I was just bugging her.

People like to have sex because it fun. But sex with a famous person is so much better, right? Well, the people in these stories proudly claim to have been with famous people, in a biblical way. Or at least they claim to know a person who knows a person…. Well, all that matters is they shared stories. You can choose to believe them or not. I believe everything I read about John Mayer. Enjoy.

I like to imagine this is an emergency related to the the circus... Tsk tsk Mr. Barnum. — Lou Reads ep115: True Stories of Emergency Medical Service Workers Nov 25, 2013
Show notes

Hey, next time your pondering taking that razor blade swallowing bet your friends dared you to do, or you’re about to impale yourself with a giant dildo while on your Lil’ Rascal Scooter, take a moment to think of the men and women who work in the local emergency medical services world. Is your stupidity going to make them have to come over to your house and save your stupid ass? Probably… And then guess what! The story of how they had to come and save you is going to end up on the internet! Yup!

I like to imagine this is an emergency related to the the circus… Tsk tsk Mr. Barnum.

This episode is chok’ful of true stories related by the EMS workers of the Something Awful forums. I think that speaks enough for itself. I hope you enjoy it.

Sincerely,
Lou

digitalgonzo-art — Lou Reads Interview on Digital Gonzo Nov 14, 2013
Show notes

Hey everyone, about a month or so ago I was interviewed by Alex Shaw for the Digital Gonzo podcast. We discuss the origin of the podcast and all manner of topics. I had a great time doing it so if you’re interested in a casual chat with me then give’r a listen!

Blog post with description -> HERE
Direct Download -> HERE

I wonder how many portals this demon has come through? — Lou Reads about The Demons that Cause Wet Dreams. Nov 01, 2013
Show notes

I have no words for how silly this episode is. Look, if you think that your nocturnal emissions, wet dreams, night-spooges, etc… are caused by filthy spirits touching your boy/girl parts, then you should probably get professional help. But, if you don’t want to see a brain doctor then go right on ahead to the dumbness known as Stronghold of Satan. There you’ll find many posts on all manner of silly, bible based views of the world.

I wonder how many portals this demon has come through?

Well, sorry if I’m wrong about the whole demon-sex thing being really, really, really silly. Because basically if its true, you’re all doomed to constant filthy, ghost sleep-rape just from listening to my podcast… You’re welcome? *shrug*

I know all the anecdotal evidence says this is a bad idea but I think I'm different that the other dummies! — Lou Reads Tales of Phenazepam Drug Trip Nightmares Oct 10, 2013
Show notes

Ok, so you got your hands on a not-yet-illegal, mega-effective, pharmaceutical grade benzodiazapine. This stuff is so powerful that it makes you forget you took it so you keep taking it until you black out and lose days at a time. So what do you do with it? Why, you just jump right in there. Why not? Sounds awesome, right? Well, unluckily for the people in this episode they basically did just that. Luckily for us, however, they decided to share it on the internet. So, please enjoy these stories of reckless drug adventuring from the pages of The Drug Forum, Erowid & Bluelight. If, after hearing this episode, you think to yourself, “Gosh, I don’t know, that doesn’t sound so bad. Maybe I’ll look into getting some!”, Please seek professional help. Also please try some Krokodil because you’re an idiot.

I know all the anecdotal evidence says this is a bad idea but I think I’m going to roll the dice with this really awesome drug! See you in prison!

That's why marital rape laws should be abolished, AMIRITE?!?! — Lou Reads from The NiceGuy (Men Going Their Own Way) Forums Sep 19, 2013
Show notes

This week I’m reading from the forums of The-Niceguy.com. If you really don’t like American women then you are going to enjoy this episode. If you ARE an American woman then… why are so terrible? Ask yourself that! Well, if you don’t want to do your introspection this forum and it’s fed-up-with-feminism members will be happy to explain it to and your tiny, selfish brain.

That’s why marital rape laws should be abolished, AMIRITE?!?!

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