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Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! — Comedy
Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

Giving Voice to the Things You Didn’t Want to Hear About

Latest Episodes:

Lou Reads Throwback Video – Maharishi and His Dog Lover Aug 14, 2013

Show notes

Just came across this video made by a fan of the show. Enjoy!

Funny to hear the difference in the quality of the podcast! Thanks to Matt DeCostanza

These dudes will probably fuck you... If you're into that kind of thing... — Lou Reads Ladyboy Pattay Forum Aug 06, 2013
Show notes

Who hasn’t been intrigued by the mysteries of the Third Sex. Of course I’m talking about those mysterious, curvy women whose panties conceal a hidden wang. Oh the allure of the being with a woman whose big old shlong you go down on and have enter you. Why wouldn’t everyone prefer that? What’s that you say? Oh, hardly anyone is into this? Huh.. well go figure….

These dudes will probably fuck you… If you’re into that kind of thing…

So this episode I went to the forums of the Pattaya Ladyboys Forum. It’s a place where men who love woMEN from all of the globe get together to talk about their unusual obsession. I’ll admit that in reading this forum I saw A LOT of naked ladyboys. You know what? Some of them really look like chicks until your eyes wander low enough to see their big old dongs. If you are into that… I guess I’m glad there is a place for you go and talk to other weirds about it. No judgements… (weird).

DID YOU STEAL MY PICKLE PUSS GUM? YOU ASSHOLE! — Lou Reads Tales of Things You Did as a Kid That You’re Ashamed Of Jul 21, 2013
Show notes

Look… I know what you did so you should probably just admit it. I mean it will be better than carrying around that guilt with you for years until you share it on a forum on the internet.
DID YOU STEAL MY PICKLE PUSS GUM? YOU ASSHOLE!
In this episode you’ll hearing people recounting things they did a children that they are ashamed of. Some of the them trivial, some of the gross and some that maybe seem a little fake… I hope this episode triggers some sort of cathartic truth telling adventure for you in your own life. Isn’t it about time you confessed to that murder? No? Okay, then.

I hope no one finds the huge diarrhea nightmare this sailor left at the Holiday Inn — Lou Reads True Stories from Hotel Workers from AskReddit Jul 04, 2013
Show notes

Happy Birthday, America! How are you planning to celebrate? I was hoping you’d say,”Well Lou, I plan to celebrate by listening to a new podcast!” Well, you’re in luck!

The latest episode of Lou Reads is out and its true stories about weird encounters at hotels. So if you’ve ever taken a shit in the garbage can next to the toilet while staying at a hotel then this is going to be run of the mill stuff for you. If not, then clutch your pearls because there are some pretty odd tales in this episode. Please enjoy them!

I hope no one finds the huge diarrhea nightmare this sailor left at the Holiday Inn

PLEASE RECOGNIZE ME AS A SEXUAL BEING!!! — Lou Reads from the Forums of Dick Flash Jun 04, 2013
Show notes

Hey, you! Check this out! Nope. Lower… lower… yup! Thats my self-esteem! Oh you thought I was trying to show you my dick? Well, since its out you might as well look at it, too. Feel free to not be impressed.

PLEASE RECOGNIZE ME AS A SEXUAL BEING!!!

Ok, so this is a forum where people who are titillated by exposing their junk to unwitting people. Is it sad? Yeah. Are they hurting anyone with their surprise dong exposures? Not physically… but mentally, probably. Well, whatever you think about these unwanted dong viewings this forum serves as a place for guys (and according to the site, girls) to get together and share tips & tricks on how to trick people into seeing their tips… get it? Oh boy, I am way to proud of that joke… Anyway, without further ado, won’t you please enjoy episode 108 of Lou Reads the Internet for you!

doodie — Lou Reads from AskReddit “Where Is the Worst Place You Ever Took a Shit” Apr 30, 2013
Show notes

Sorry folks! I’m breaking my long running streak of classy, high-brow topics and delving in the gut churning topic of emergency pooping. As a semi-reformed IBS sufferer its a subject near & dear to my heart.

doodie.com
My only caveat to this episode is that some of peoples stories actually seem like poop stories that they are really proud of. I guess maybe they were non-optimal pooping places but they come off kind of braggy… Whatever. If you’re interesting in reading all 6000+ posts about poop please feel free to check it out here.

Reddit, what is the worst place that you have taken a shit?

Oh boy, who wouldn't want to get in on all that action! Especially if you're a doctor! A GOLD MINE OF HEALTH ISSUES! — Lou Reads from the Forums at FantasyFeeder.com Apr 09, 2013
Show notes

Thats right, its time to loosen your belt, unbutton your pants and cram just a little more podcast into your fat earholes! Come on, you can do it. Just have someone rub your ears while you’re listening to make sure you take it all in…

Oh boy, who wouldn’t want to get in on all that action! Especially if you’re a doctor! A GOLD MINE OF HEALTH ISSUES!

So this episode I read from a forum called Fantasy Feeder. Its a site that revels the in joys of obesity. How refreshing in this age of soda bans & “healthy” eating to find a site where people dream of weighing so much they are immobile. What luxury! Of course on the other hand these people have some bizarro ideas of whats sexy which is what fetishes are all about. So open that bag of Cool Ranch Tacos from Taco Bell and grab another milk shake and start your way down the path to super sexy flab!

Yup, Thats right... So the inference here is that this sad looking girl was kept as a slave, tortured to death and then had her vagina put in a jar as a trophy. Thats normal to think about, right? I mean the photo positioning is pretty hilarious but WTF. — Lou Reads from the Forums of DarkFetish.Net – Home of the Cannibal Cop and Friends Mar 19, 2013
Show notes

I have to admit, I was getting ready to record something different this week. I was pretty content with my subject. Then something happened. I read a story about the police officer they were calling The Cannibal Cop. The story mentioned that he was on a forum where he and his fellow cannibalism fantasizers hung out and chatted about how awesome it would be to kill and eat people. Unfortunately for this cop his wife found his posts specifically talking about eating her and she called the cops. Luckily for us that story mentioned the forum he hung out at. Unfortunately for me I went there and read from it… for YOU!

Yup, Thats right… So the inference here is that this sad looking girl was kept as a slave, tortured to death and then had her vagina put in a jar as a trophy. Thats normal to think about, right? I mean the photo positioning is pretty hilarious but WTF.

To be fair this is only one of the many websites the cannibal cop went to but I’m sure you’ll agree this one is enough for now… Right? I’m not sure if enjoy is the right thing to say here… Good luck!

Exactly like this except in your ass... — Lou Reads from Fist Forum. All Your Fisting Needs and More! Feb 22, 2013
Show notes

The day is finally here! The day I do an episode that is entirely about fisting! I know you thought the day would never come but I finally worked up the courage to push past the tight ring of my resistance to this topic and punch fist my way to the fantastic forums at fistforum.com. If you’re thinking about getting into fisting this is definitely the place to go as you’ll soon see. And you will see… well… you’ll see A LOT of stretched orifices and fists… mainly…

Fisting is exactly like this except the fist goes in your ass or vagina… you’re welcome.

Sooo…. yeah. Fisting… get ready to bear down and take it all deep in your ear holes. Whatever… ENJOY!

Also the work camps & the nuclear wars & the liberal black jews & food scares & peak oil... so many things!!! — Lou Reads from the Forums of Survivalist Boards – MY GUNS! MY RIGHTS! OY VEY! Feb 04, 2013
Show notes

Look, we can’t talk here. Obviously, things have been set in motion. The recent events, Sandy Hook, Bengazi, Time Warner Triple-Play, Twinkies, the Super Bowl halftime show and others too obvious to keep listing have set in motion the end of society. So if you’re not a sheeple you need to get your ass to the forums at Survivalist Boards and start getting your Bug Out Location squared away. You know when the SHTF all the unprepared societal leeches in your circle of doomed friends are going to come banging at your door to save them from themselves or from the government. The government they voted for! HA!

Also the work camps & the nuclear wars & the liberal black jews & food scares & peak oil… so many things to be afraid of!!!

I hope you enjoy this episode of Lou Reads the Internet for YOU! It was hard to pick what to read from here because it was so full of interesting takes on the world. I hope for our sake these guys are really, really completely wrong about the world. Still, part of me hopes they’re right just because they are obviously really, really hoping things fall apart. I’m sure it would feel great to be SO right about things… once.

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