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    Comedy

    Lou Reads the Internet for YOU!

    Giving Voice to the Things You Didn’t Want to Hear About

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    Latest Episodes:
    Lou Reads ep130 – Vore Discussions from Eka’s Portal Dec 02, 2014
    Show notes

    So you have this craving. I know you think it was to get a new episode of this podcast. But what if it was the craving to get suddenly eaten by a tiger’s dick? Or maybe to get swallowed live and live in a giant’s tummy? Well, if that was your craving then not only am I a mind reader but I’m also a vore forum reader. And as you may have guessed, that will be this episode’s subject.

    What's that mom? Oh, I'm just talking to my online friends. NO DON'T COME IN!
    What’s that mom? Oh, I’m just talking to my online friends. NO DON’T COME IN!

    Don’t know what VORE is? Well, now you do! VORE

    Anyway, I hope you enjoy this episode. As I hope you enjoy every single episode… I know. It’s too much to ask…


    Lou Reads ep129 Revisits the Forums of Opiophile.com Nov 04, 2014
    Show notes

    Heroin! Opiates! We love them! Who doesn’t?! We all love them equally, too. Well, maybe some people love them a little more than others. If you’re the kind of person who loves them so much that you throw your life away to do them all the time you… well, you’ve put yourself in a bit of a pickle, sonny. But where do you go to talk to people if you’ve decided that a life of occasional bliss and more than occasional constant craving is the thing for you? Why the forums of Opiophile.com of course.

    Opiophile is a safe haven for users, abusers & survivors of the dope game where they can come together and discuss everything from their local drug scene, harm reduction and the day to day issues of being a slave to the poppy in it’s numerous forms. Many forums have sections dedicated to heroin and the like but Opiophile is pretty much the only forum I know dedicated to opiates and once again proved to be a very interesting and informative read. I hope you enjoy it.

    Other Heroin related sites you may find interesting.

    DequinxyJinxie (RIP) – Heroin Glassine Bag Art & Product Review

    That Guy’s on Heroin – Street reports and unflattering photos of people nodding (or worse) in public. Focused mainly on junies in Baltimore but also takes submissions from around the world.

    HBO’s documentary – Black Tar Heroin: The Dark End of the Street


    Lou Reads ep128: Tales of Mean Customers from AskReddit Oct 16, 2014
    Show notes

    I hope you enjoy this lighter fare as once again we delve into Reddit. Won’t you enjoy this selection of tales of people being treated poorly by jerks while they do their jobs.

    nuggets

    Lou Reads from the pages of My Little Waifu Sep 04, 2014
    Show notes

    How do you cope with your day to day struggles? Do you call your mom to vent or maybe see a psychiatrist? Or do instead slowly become convinced you are having a relationship with a fictional character? That is what is happening on the pages of the forum known as My Little Waifu. I won’t even try to explain what I read this time around. It doesn’t make any sense and explaining it requires navigating several different strata of super nerdy nonsense. Just listen… It’s still won’t make any sense but whatever.

    Can't we all stop arguing and just agree that we are all really weird ponies?
    Can’t we all stop arguing and just agree that we are all really weird ponies?

    Terms used in this episode that may require explanation:

    1) Waifu
    2) Brony
    3) Weeabo
    4) Clop
    5) Ship

    And many more…. Please enjoy the podcast & this wonderful selection of Japanese body pillows for you to consider marrying in the future.


    Lou Reads ep126 – Squat the Planet: Advice for the Homeless by the Homeless Jul 29, 2014
    Show notes

    Hey man, can you spare any change? Spare anything? Even a smile helps. Also a lot of drugs to help me forget I beg for a living and sleep on the streets would help more than a smile. I’m just being honest.

    This is what most of the signs mean anyway.
    This is what most of the signs mean anyway.

    So this episode is about the worldful world of gutterpunks, crusties, hobos, bums or whatever you want to call this nations wandering house-less people. It is amazing, and yet unsurprising, that the homeless have such ready access to the site known as Squat The Planet. But just because they are roaming the world rudderless doesn’t mean they don’t want to have a place to have stupid discussions and share their best criminal practices! Won’t you please enjoy this sampling of nonsense from the pages of StP.


    Lou Reads ep125 – Porn Fan Chats from Brazzers Forum Jul 08, 2014
    Show notes

    Look, I love porn. I am a man. I have a sad addiction to watching people who are better at sex than me go at it for unrealistic lengths of time. I love to be reminded of the average to subaverageness of my man parts and that my testicles don’t contain massive amounts of semen (aka pina colada mix). Thats why I go the forums at BrazzerForum.com to complain and compliment my favorite porn stars! Or, I would if I was one of the people who are actually registered on there.

    This is how I imagine everyone is listening to this episode of the podcast.
    This is how I imagine everyone is listening to this episode of the podcast.

    Sadly, I am not so obsessed with the world of pornography to know who the people I read about were (for the most part.) Luckily for us the guys and gals who do hang out at Brazzers Forum feel perfectly at home chatting about their favorite porn moments. I do admire the actors availability to the people posting there. It’s kind of sweet thinking about a porn star reading a fans email about how awesome he is at fucking and the porn star writing back,  “Aw shucks. Thanks little guy. I’m glad I made your day. Keep jerkin’ it to the video of my strangely massive dong. Yours truely, XXX INSERT NAME HERE XXX.”

    Enjoy the show!


    Lou Reads episode 124 – Tales of Creepy Gamers from RPG.net Jun 20, 2014
    Show notes

    This episode takes a peek into the world of role playing gamers and the creepy players they occasionally run into.

    This isn't my D&D map. It's my well thought out rape plan.
    This isn’t my D&D map. It’s my well thought out rape plan.

    That image joke will make more sense if you listen to the episode. Also, don’t play Tomb of Horrors. Even if you win you’ll probably die in the end.


    Lou Reads from the Discussions at Virgin-Forums May 22, 2014
    Show notes

    Any takers?
    Any takers?

    Ah, the shame of being a virgin. That awful secret that you haven’t gotten some dummy to let you put your penis in them or given up the nappy dug-out to some chump on a camping trip. What a super awful time in life! Well, that is unless you’re super proud of your choice to not have fun teenage sex, like the people at Virgin-Forum.com. This is a site for people who are virgins, and sometimes not, to get together and talk about their virginity or lack there-of.

    A very 9/11 virgin message.
    A very 9/11 virgin message. PS: I am offering deflowering services on demand.

    Thanks for listening! I hope you enjoy it as much as you enjoy all that post virginity sex you’re all having.

    Lou Reads Revisits the Poz Experience at Raw Top’s Breeding Zone Apr 14, 2014
    Show notes

    This guy is probably in the Breeding Zone Hall of Fame. Way to go, dude.
    This guy is probably in the Breeding Zone Hall of Fame. Way to go, dude.

    This podcast is going to make you laugh and probably make you a little uncomfortable. Or it might just make you feel sad. It’s unlikely to make you feel horny… unless you actually hang out at Raw Top’s Breeding Zone (Do I have to say it’s NSFW?). Anyway, Its been almost 4 years since I read from The Breeding Zone and thank the Lord, the posters there have not gotten any less graphically horrible about what they are into/doing. As always with topics beyond the pale, if it helps you sleep at night, I’ll allow you to reserve the right to believe the more crazy things are pure fiction. But… yeah… ENJOY?

    Oh yeah, I’d like to thank The Breeding Zone for always wishing me a happy birthday!

    What a bunch of swell, urine drinking, married guy poz'ing dudes.
    What a bunch of swell, urine drinking, married guy poz’ing dudes.


    Lou Reads 121: Discussions from the Forums of DefensiveCarry.com Mar 27, 2014
    Show notes

    Hey all you gun-loving podcast fans out there. I know that maybe when you’re listening to podcasts your situational awareness may not be at its height. So, I implore you to look around while you’re listening to this podcast. Also, while listening, please keep your hand on your holster at all times. One can’t be too careful these days. I mean, what if something happened? Would you be ready to defend yourself AND listen to podcasts? These are important topics, to be sure.

    Well, in my house I would get the broom because it meant the cat had knocked some shit over.
    Well, in my house I would get the broom because it meant the cat had knocked some shit over.

    This episode is all about people who are concerned about their right to carry a firearm. So lock the 6 locks on your bedroom door, get inside your safe room and press play. It will all make sense. I promise.


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