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    Religion & Spirituality

    Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

    Welcome to our podcast!

    My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
    I am the author of three books:

    “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

    The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

    Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

    I am the author of two Ensign articles:

    ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

    ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

    This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

    Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Thank you for joining us. You can’t donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

    With love, Richard ‘Papa’ Ostler ❤

    Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
    IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
    Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
    Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
    E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 869: Gracee Purcell, Lesbian Latter-day Saint, Recent BYU Grad, Mar 13, 2026
    Show notes

    My friend Gracee Purcell (BYU Psychology Grad, President of RaYnbow Collective, Activist, Engaged to be Married) joins us to share her story at BYU: Why she choose BYU Advice for other queer people considering Church-owned schools Roommates (mostly positive) Interactions with BYU administration Interactions with BYU professors Work of “RaYnbow Collective” to support queer BYU students Insights on the concept of “Safe Places” Thank you, Gracee, for being on the podcast and all your bridge building work to make this world a better place. You are doing so much good in our community and have a great life ahead of you. Congrats on your recent engagement. I encourage everyone to listen to and share this episode. Links: RaYnbow Collective Instagram: @raynbow.collective

    Episode 868: Bruce Butcher, Lost Son Taylor to Suicide, God’s Love/Hope For All of Us Mar 09, 2026
    Show notes

    ** This episode talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text chat 988 ** My friend Bruce Butcher (late 50s, married father of three, active LDS) joins us in a powerful episode to share the following: Loving and accepting people in his life who are no longer in the Church “We don’t punish a man for his beliefs” Losing his wonderful son Taylor to suicide in June 2024 Taylor’s prayer “bless the sick and sad, help us to be the best versions of ourselves” Painful doctrine the Church used to teach about suicide—led to no hope Love of a mother is the most powerful force on earth Love of our Heavenly Mother is the most powerful force in heaven—she isn’t going to cut off any of Her children Excluding people is not Christ’s doctrine David Archuleta—“I’m still a fan” Being a cafeteria Mormon My apology to my LGBTQ friends I deeply loved listening to and learning from Bruce. If you are looking for more hope in your life, be more like Jesus, and love/accept people walking different roads, please listen to and share Bruce’s podcast. Thank you, Bruce, for being on the podcast. You are a good man—helping so many. I’m so sorry your good son Taylor is gone. Love Taylor's heart as reflected in the words of his prayer.

    Episode 867: Heather Sorensen, Grief of Losing Her Daughter Hannah at Age 15, New Book Mar 05, 2026
    Show notes

    My friend Heather Sorensen (married mother of 4; grandmother of 14, early morning seminary teacher), joins us to share her story of losing her daughter Hannah in a traffic accident at age 15 in 2013. Heather talks about the initial and continued grief of her death and how she is navigating both holding her grief and her testimony of being with Hannah again. Heather talks about a dream she had before Hannah was born and that feeling returning during Hannah’s death. She also talks about losing her son Richard at birth. Heather talks about not being active in the Church for twenty years and her journey to return to the church and the importance of creating her identity rooted in Jesus Christ and invites us to do the same. Heather talks about her son Zachary’s cancer diagnosis during home MTC, fear she would lose another child, and Zachary’s recovery and serving a mission. Heather talks about why she decided to write a book about Hannah—called Dandelion Blessings—which is Hannah’s nickname. If you are looking for a genuine/honest story of intense grief—and finding hope/peace to move forward—please listen and share Heather’s podcast and book. Thank you, Heather, for your courage and vulnerability to be on the podcast. You are helping so many! Links: Dandelion Blessings (at Amazon): https://a.co/d/0eK9OYGy

    Episode 866: Dr. Mark White, Being an Ally, Book: Indigo’s Baptism Mar 01, 2026
    Show notes

    My friend Mark White (professor, LMFT, aspiring ally, mid-60s, active LDS) joins us to talk about his new children’s book—which is focused on an 8-year-old’s decision about being baptized in the context of having two gay dads who attend church with her—and what we can do to be better allies/advocates to queer Latter-day Saints and their families. Mark shares the following: * Journey to be an aspiring ally/advocate * Clinical experience * His publishing company (Firefly Inkworks) and new book, Indigo’s Baptism * George Gerbner’s cultivation theory * The power of stories * Representation matters * To be seen * Future books * Need for all kinds of queer stories, including narratives for a book on LDS Trans and gender nonconforming persons Mark invites a discussion about how we can be a better ally/advocate (friend, parent, local leader, etc.), including asking our queer friends to let us know what they need and indicate whether we truly are an ally/advocate. The children of queer LDS parents are essentially invisible in LDS culture. Mark hopes Indigo's Baptism is a small step in increasing representation. He desires we use all the resources available to better support our queer friends. And if you are queer or have queer parent(s), Mark prays his work will give you hope as he talks about his love for and support of the queer community. Please contact him if you are interested in publishing a book or are willing to contribute a narrative to the book he and colleagues are working on that focuses on the needs and stories of current or former members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who are trans and gender nonconforming. Thank you, Mark, for being on the podcast. You are making a difference. You give me hope. Links: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61587754991132 Mark’s publishing company: www.fireflyinkworks.com Etsy store where you can buy Indigo’s Baptism: https://www.etsy.com/shop/FireflyInkworks?ref=shop-header-name&listing_id=4459276962&from_page=listing Instagram: fireflyinkworks Mark’s e-mail: fireflyinkworks@gmail.com Mark’s outline: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/awvy653dh8ubvi44uxcyb/LLL.Podcast-Outline.Indigo-s-Baptism.Feb-2026.pdf?rlkey=2b6fn8xxu4e37iiiqvexk6c20&dl=0

    Episode 865: Eliza Riggs, RM, Bi-Sexual Latter-day Saint, Non-Traumatic Queer Faith, Powerful Story Feb 26, 2026
    Show notes

    My friend Eliza Riggs (age 22, RM/Orem Utah, UVU Student) joins us to share her story including: Great Parents, Queer Friendly Home Came out first to her Heavenly Parents—positive experience Felt lots of pressure to fit in the Church as a Bishop’s daughter, wasn’t working, difficult chapter Joined girl’s high school wrestling team—“saved my life” Youth conference and surprising thought to serve a mission Mom buying her rainbow sheets before coming out to her Being called to Orem, Utah (initial disappointment—but then powerful revelation) Great experience coming out to her Mission President Coming out to her parents—super positive Her queer identity is celebrated in heaven Thank you, Eliza, for your courage to share your story which will help so many. You are awesome. Honored to have you on the podcast. Encourage everyone to listen to and share this episode. Links: Eliza’s Instagram: @elizariggs31

    Episode 864: Richard Ostler Episode on Tate Arnold’s Over___Soul Show Feb 19, 2026
    Show notes

    I was invited to be on my friend Tate Arnold’s show (Over___Soul) to share my story. I’ve posted that show as Episode 864 on our platform so you could listen here. Thank you, Tate, for letting me be on your show. You are a good man doing great work! Please check out and follow Tate on Instagram @Over___Soul

    Episode 863: David Archuleta, New Book: Devout Feb 15, 2026
    Show notes

    In one of our most important episodes, David joins us to talk about his new book “Devout—Losing My Faith to Find Myself”. In this episode, David talks about his journey with God to find his path forward as a queer Mormon considering suicide—a path that led David to separate himself from the Church—taking God with him—and live authentically. David gives excellent advice to younger queer people and parents to better support queer kids. I conclude with some of my thoughts on continuing to love and support those that leave our Church (not making them the hero on day for staying in the church and the villain the next day for leaving) and thanking David for his many years of service in the Church and the countless lives he has blessed. Thank you, David, for being on our podcast and your courage to continue to share your story. You are one of my heroes—you continue to help so many find hope in their lives. I encourage everyone to listen/share this episode and consider what we can do to better support our queer friends. Links: David’s New Book “Devout”: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0FJJGJSB6 David’s Book Event in SLC on Feb 24th, 2026: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/david-archuleta-devout-tickets-1981202876135?aff=oddtdtcreator#location David’s Facebook: www.facebook.com/davidarchuleta/ David’s Instagram @davidarchie David’s TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@davidarchie David’s Twitter: x.com/DavidArchie David’s YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC75d1FNP1qR0lCY1usRKQEw

    Episode 862: Tate Arnold, Mission to Help Others, Powerful New Podcast Called "Over___Soul" Feb 13, 2026
    Show notes

    My friend Tate Arnold (married father of two, active LDS) joins us to share the following: * Difficult chapters including his father-in-law Paul dying by suicide * Needed a different path forward-choosing a "path of transformation" * Positive/life changing experience with psychedelics * Helped him "not pass down trauma to future generations" * Remade his career to be "aligned with eternal soul" * Life work around helping people be aligned with how they are * Love of and support for his transgender sister and the queer community including his former companion Matt Easton * Why he stated "Over____Soul" It is an honor to have Tate (who is a dear family friend and missionary companion to our son Matt in Sydney Australia) on the podcast. He is an "old soul" with incredible insights into how to love and support others. If you are looking to find more peace and hope in your life, please listen to Tate's podcast and connect with his work-work that is so needed in our community. I encourage everyone to listen to and share this podcast. Thank you, Tate, for being on the podcast. You are a good man and give me hope for the future! Links: Tate's Instagram Account: @Over____Soul Tate’s YouTube: https://youtube.com/@tateoversoul?si=9qq2CSPf81im35Nc Tate on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3nskaZAhU39wHS7MHCGhM0?si=hXFVo9UbQ4-dLRAaLTMSHw

    Episode 861: BYU Club To Help Solve Porn Use Feb 09, 2026
    Show notes

    Club Officers (Douglas Williams, Madi Davis, Bohin Tenney and Brandon Pattillo) from a club at BYU (called The Un-Alone Club) join us to talk about their club's efforts to help themselves and others have better tools and support to solve porn use. In the podcast, each club officer shares their own experience with pornography usage and what has helped them to better understand their porn use and better tools/support for recovery. If you are working to solve porn use in your own life or better tools to help others, please listen to and share this podcast. And if you are a BYU student looking for support, please check out/join their club (see show notes below). Thank you, Doug, Madi, Bohin, and Brandon—you are some of my new heroes. Your courage to share your story and create a safe place for others is making a difference for good in so many lives. Links: Instagram Account: @un.alone.byu E-mail: lovebetter@byu.edu Madi Davis earlier podcast: https://soundcloud.com/user-818501778/episode-622-madi-davis-byu-student-bravely-shares-her-journey-to-solve-porn-use Madi Davis “Sisters on the Front Lines Podcast”: https://rss.com/podcasts/sistersonthefrontlines/ “7 Tips for Solving Pornography Use Liahona Article”: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use Chapter from Richard Ostler’s Book about Solving Porn Use: https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/nrfb3jzluzrj2sp8ihrfo/Chapter-4-Ending-Pornography-Use.-Listen-Learn-and-Love-Improving-Latter-day-Saint-Culture.pdf?rlkey=dqxcrtvxcmu6u3ppkig3kh82p&dl=0

    Episode 860: Pastor Jamie White, Rape Survivor, Became Pregnant and Kept Her Child Feb 04, 2026
    Show notes

    My friend Rev. Jamie White (Pastor at First Presbyterian Church of Salt Lake City, theological/pastoral education from Vanguard University and Princeton Seminary, married mother of three) joins us to share her story including: * Being raped at age 18, becoming pregnant, keeping her child—now her eldest son/recently married * Feeling her life was ruined. No hope. Deep anger. Could have killed her abuser * Writing letters to her unborn son * The support that saved her; parents and faith community, and her mom's tough advice * Therapist jolting comment: “This tragedy must become your greatest treasure.” Initial anger at this comment—but became true. * Hard work to find peace and forgiveness—loving your enemies. * Finding her husband Dave—and building a life together. * Creating space in her congregation for diversity rather than uniformity, tough work but worth it * Acceptance and love of queer members of her congregation—including the story of a thriving transgender member. If you are looking for hope/healing from difficult experiences (or better tools to help others), please listen and share this episode. Jamie brings a rare combination from her academic background, profession experience, love of Jesus, and her personal story of being a rape survivor to authentically help each of us overcome difficult experiences and find more hope, peace, healing and forgiveness. This is a super powerful podcast. I encourage everyone to listen and share with others. Links: Paster Jamie White Bio: https://www.fpcslc.org/staff Faith Matters/One America Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4yLO12ykbCU First Presbyterian Church Youtube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@fpcslc

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