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    Religion & Spirituality

    Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

    Welcome to our podcast!

    My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
    I am the author of three books:

    “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

    The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

    Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

    I am the author of two Ensign articles:

    ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

    ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

    This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

    Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Thank you for joining us. You can’t donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

    With love, Richard ‘Papa’ Ostler ❤

    Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
    IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
    Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
    Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
    E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 601: Conversation with My Trans Friends and Those Supporting Them Jan 03, 2023
    Show notes

    This is a solo podcast where I talk about why someone feels transgender, how to understand and best support them, and church resources. I also talk to those who experience gender dysphonia and principles for making thoughtful and informed decisions. My hope and prayer is this episode will bring more support to and understanding of our transgender friends—and better bring us together as the same human family. Links mentioned in the podcast: Church’s web site: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/topics/transgender Deseret New Article: https://www.deseret.com/faith/2022/4/27/23034223/latter-day-saint-leaders-lgbt-advocates-common-ground-washington-dc-temple-faith-religious-liberty Listen Learn and Love Transgender Podcast List: https://listenlearnandlove.org/transgender-and-more-podcasts Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints and Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462135773 Facebook Group to support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Questions from the Closet Episode on Gender Dysphoria: https://questionsfromthecloset.com/episode/?s=3&e=17

    Episode 600: Josh Yordy, Age 20, Queer Latter-day Saint Dec 31, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Josh Yordy joins us to bravely share his story. Josh talks about how mental health challenges ended his mission early and the positive support he received from his mission therapist, mission leaders, parents, and leaders back home in Flagstaff, Arizona. If you have returned home early or are supporting someone walking this road, Josh’s story will help you. Once home, Josh decided to address his sexual orientation, which he had avoided his whole life prior. Part of his journey was serving in the Los Angeles temple for six months in early 2022. Working with a therapist, being in the Temple, and a personal relationship with Heavenly Father helped Josh to accept being queer/bi-sexual in a positive, healthy, and authentic way. Josh talks about how he is navigating his road with both a testimony and being a queer Latter-day Saint. Josh is coming from a place of peace, confidence, faith, and hope—instead of shame and fear. I was deeply moved listening to the spiritual maturity of this 20-year-old man. If you are a queer Latter-day Saint looking for a steady voice of hope, please listen to this podcast. I believe it will help you. And if you are looking to better support queer Latter-day Saints, Josh’s insights and experiences will help. Thank you, Josh, for being you. Thank you for your courage to share you story which will help so many. You make this world a better place. Links mentioned in the podcast: Josh’s Instagram @jdyofficial ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 599: Sara Brewer, Shame-Free Principles to End Porn Use Dec 28, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Sara Brewer, certified life coach, shares powerful insights to end porn use. Sara talks about the “roots” of porn use and a framework to address these roots in a hopeful and positive way to end porn use. I became aware of Sara after several mentioned to me how Sara helped them end porn use (including Koji Aoki who told his story on episode 544). Sara is part of a growing group of experts in this field who are bring a completely new paradigm to understand and solve porn use. I wish I had known the things Sara teaches before my YSA assignment—it would have given me more tools to help others. If you are looking to end porn use or help others, please listen to this podcast, and connect with Sara work (see links below). Thank you, Sara, for being on the podcast and your great work in our community. Links mentioned in the podcast: Sara’s web site: https://www.sarabrewer.com/ Sara’s Instagram: @sarabrewercoaching **Check out my new book that has a chapter (chapter 4) about solving pornography: amazon.com/dp/1462139566 **

    Episode 598: Emma Edwins, Convert, Transgender Latter-day Saint Dec 25, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Emma Edwins (Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy; Licensed Clinical Counselor) shares her remarkable story. Emma starts with her decision to join the Church while in college in Colorado. Emma then talks about why she left the church (for about ten years) and then talks about addressing her gender dysphoria—which led Emma to legally, socially, and medically transition to a woman. Emma talks about how much happier she is since transitioning—and how she longed to return to the Church. Emma, who lives in St. Paul Minneapolis, talks about her decision to go back to Church and the warm welcome she is receiving from her Ward, including attending Relief Society. Emma talks about why she decided to go back to Church and her testimony of our restored doctrine. Emma also talks about the challenges transgender Latter-day Saints face—including her desire to attend the temple, which is currently not possible. Emma has a You Tube channel called Stories of Latter-day Faith (see link below) which features conversion stories of people joining the Church. Please reach out to Emma if you’d like to share your conversion story. Thank you, Emma, for being on the podcast. You are a remarkable woman doing much good in many circles. Honored to have you on the podcast! You Tube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMcGpe-zLbY Email address is: storiesoflatterdayfaith@gmail.com Instagram: @the_mindful_mormon ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 597: Jay Griffith, Life Story, Loving Like Jesus, Why Still an Active Latter-Day Saint Dec 22, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Jay Griffith (married father of 3) joins us to share his story of why he stays a Latter-day Saint, how he manages the complexity of being in the church, and why he loves/supports/respects his family and friends who are no longer Latter-day Saints, and lives without fear for their salvation. Jay also briefly talks about his monthly gathering, ThinkAgain-FaithAgain (begun nearly 10 years ago), and his association with Faith Matters. Jay is one of the most spiritual and thoughtful people I know. Jay’s insights and life story give all of us ideas about how to see each other as God sees us. Thank you, Jay, for being on the podcast. Honored to call you friend. Links mentioned in the podcast: ThinkAgain-FaithAgain: https://www.thinkagain-faithagain.life/ Faith Matters: https://faithmatters.org/ Jay welcomes direct contact with any who have questions or would just like to be listened to and walked with. You can reach him at jaygriffith4@gmail.com ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 596: Alicia Hall, Certified Life Coach & LDS Mother of a 17-Year-Old Lesbian Daughter Dec 19, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Alicia Hall (lives in Georgia, with husband & five children) joins us to share how she is using gospel principals and parenting skills to walk with and support her 17-year-old lesbian daughter McKenna (who came out at age 15). Alicia focuses on what we can do as parents to operate from a position of trust, love, acceptance—instead of a position fear, shame and looking backward in self-doubt. All this helping us as parents be in a better position to love and support an LGBTQ child. If you are a parent with a LGBTQ child—or want to be prepared to parent a LGBTQ child—please listen to this podcast. It is one of the very best we’ve done as Alicia combines her experience as a parent, life coach, and the gospel insights. Thank you, Alicia, for being on the podcast. I learned so much. Your voice and work are so need in our community. You can find Alicia on Facebook at @aliciahallcoaching or Instagram at @alliciahallcoaching Links mentioned in the podcast: Alicia’s web site: https://aliciahallcoaching.com/ Directory of LDS Life Coaches: https://ldslifecoaches.com/ ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 595: Autumn McAlpin, New Book, LDS Mother of a Gay Son Dec 16, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Autumn McAlpin (married mother of 5) shares the story of her 17-year-old son, Gavin, walking into her bedroom at 3:00 am telling her and her husband and he that “he is gay, leaving the church, and really struggling with depression… like, really.” A lot has happened since that night two and a half years ago—which Autumn shares on the podcast and in her new book to support Gavin. It is a beautiful and powerful family love story. Autumn, a noted author and filmmaker, decided to write a book about their experience. In November 2022, that book, But Jesus: A Conversation, was published by Pink Umbrella Books with Gavin’s permission (see below for Amazon book link). Autumn talks about the book in the podcast, and all proceeds from sales will be donated to life-saving therapy programs for LGBTQ+ at Encircle and Flourish Therapy. I encourage everyone to listen to this podcast and read Autumn’s book. I have read it—it is a powerful family story of how we can do better so support families with LGBTQ members. I wish I had read a book like this decades ago. Autumn is also involved with Lift & Love, where she writes most of the IG family profile stories (link below). I encourage you to check out Lift & Love. Thank you for being on the podcast Autumn. I was deeply moved hearing your story. I encourage everyone to read Autumn’s impactful book. Links: Autumn’s book called “But Jesus: A Conversation”: https://www.amazon.com/But-Jesus-Conversation-Autumn-McAlpin/dp/194959825X Lift and Love: https://www.liftandlove.org/

    Episode 594: Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife Dec 13, 2022
    Show notes

    In this episode, my friend Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife (Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology, active LDS) joins us to share details of her professional journey. She tells us more about her time at BYU and how she shifted from following cultural expectations to following her heart and talents, which led to her earning her Master’s Degree, followed by a Ph.D., and eventually, opening her own practice. She shares how her work has grown past her original hopes and expectations and talks about why she decided to stay a Latter-day Saint. Her story is a powerful one and will inspire younger (and even older!) Latter-day Saints to pursue their passions and believe in their potential. Dr. Finlayson-Fife also shares insights about creating healthy boundaries, and how those boundaries can help us maintain a healthier relationship with the Church. She also shares ways that we can create more belonging at church—so that more will feel welcome, included, and needed as we create Zion. I was deeply moved by this conversation and appreciated Dr. Finlayson-Fife's perspective and insights on these important topics. She is someone who loves and embraces our theology and also someone with extensive professional experience as a therapist, coach, and educator. I wish I had listened to a podcast like this decades ago! Thank you, Jennifer, for being on the podcast and for the important work you do in our community—you are making a huge difference! You can learn more about Dr. Finlayson-Fife at https://www.finlayson-fife.com/

    Episode 593: Brian Paul, tells the story of his brother Boyd, who was gay and took his own life. Dec 10, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Brian Paul (married, father of 4, active LDS) joins us to share the story of his older brother Boyd dying by suicide at the age of 25 in 1989. It tells a powerful story of hope and the far-reaching promises of the atonement and the power to redeem. Brian, who is about 7 years younger than Boyd, talks about his love for his brother. Boyd changed a few years after returning home from his mission when he went down a difficult road trying to reconcile his sexual orientation. Feeling rejected by God for not helping him overcome same gender attraction, difficulty in achieving ideal relationships with other gay men, being fired by his employer, and not being fully accepted and understood by family, led to Boyd taking his own life by jumping off the William Howard Taft Bridge in Feb 1989. Brian talks about his journey to understand and love his brother including a powerful spiritual experience walking on the William Howard Taft Bridge in 2014 with his daughter, that reflects the infinite power of the atonement and our hope in Christ. Brian also talks about his mother’s Stake Conference talk about her gay son and her knowledge from her Heavenly Father with these words “I have him. He is not lost.” If you have lost someone to suicide, please listen to this podcast. Brian does a wonderful job of sharing their family story—a beautiful family love story. Thank you, Brian, for being on the podcast to help us better support each other, give powerful insights into the plan of salvation, and see us all as the same human family. Link mentioned in the podcast: YouTube tribute video for Boyd: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkuQ4YAYqwg Facebook Post about Boyd: https://www.facebook.com/brian.paul.7106/posts/pfbid026WVw8vuZSLpg9kGXXtF6rupsPvJJ3Pj3s7psvsRWe1ivP6BUZXxpGM7GLXSjCF1Bl ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 592: Jeralee Renshaw and Peter Ryan, Waters of Mormon Facebook Group Dec 07, 2022
    Show notes

    My friends Jeralee Renshaw and Peter Ryan (active Latter-day Saints) talk about a facebook group called Waters of Mormon for Latter-day Saints who need a safe place to process complicated church topics (history, current issues, or difficult experiences). Members of the group are working to stay engaged with the Church. Jeralee and Peter (two of the moderators of the group) talk about vetting criteria to be able to join the group (including being familiar with the Gospel Topic Essays), group mission, and rules of the group. They also share some of about their story navigating difficult topics and why they stay members of the Church. I joined this group in 2016 during my mini-faith crisis and it was key for me to reconstruct a sustainable framework to remain an active member of the Church. If you are working to stay in the Church and also looking for a safe place to process complicated church topics, please listen to this podcast. It will help you decide if this group would be helpful for you. And you are welcome to share this podcast with others who you feel might benefit from joining the group. Thank you, Jeralee and Peter,—and the rest of the moderation team—for your much needed work in our community. Links mentioned in the podcast: Waters of Mormon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/366835446735927 Gospel Topic Essays: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/gospel-topics-essays/essays

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