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    Religion & Spirituality

    Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

    Welcome to our podcast!

    My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
    I am the author of three books:

    “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

    The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

    Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

    I am the author of two Ensign articles:

    ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

    ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

    This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

    Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Thank you for joining us. You can’t donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

    With love, Richard ‘Papa’ Ostler ❤

    Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
    IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
    Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
    Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
    E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 581: Char Ahlstrom, LDS Mother of 6, Two Gay Sons Nov 03, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Char Ahlstrom (active LDS, Married Mother of 6, Grandmother of 6, Convert) shares her story of having three of her six children leave the church. Char and her husband Tom raised their six children teaching the gospel and serving in their Long Beach Ward and Stake—with hope their children would stay active members of the church and raise their children in the Church. But things turned out differently as Char shares having her 4th child (Kyle) come out as gay. Then her 6th child (Keith) also came out as gay. Both Kyle and Keith have stepped away from the Church and are in long-term relationships with men. Char also had another son and daughter-in-law out of the Church. Char, who has been on this road for many years, has helpful insights for parents new to this road. She shares going from fear to peace—and from loving to accepting to action. Char talks about how prayer, scripture study, being open to learning, temple attendance and the atonement of Jesus Christ has given her personal revelation, tools, and peace. If you are looking for a seasoned voice to help you as a parent with children now longer participating in the Church, Char’s story will help you. And if you are looking for gospel principles to find more peace in your life and bless others, Char’s insights will help you. Thank you for your courage and vulnerability to be on the podcast. You are a remarkable woman. Your family story is a beautiful love story. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 580: Richard Ostler Conversation with Those Wanting to Repent and Those Helping Them Oct 30, 2022
    Show notes

    This is a solo podcast for my friend wanting to repent and for parents/local leaders/friends looking to better help them. It is based on Chapter 5 called “Hope-Filled Repentance” from my book “Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture”. I hope and pray this podcast is helpful to you. All my love, Richard Links mentioned in the podcast: Richard Ostler Book: Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love and Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566 Richard Ostler Ensign Article: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin?lang=eng

    Episode 579: Dr. Ryan Gottfredson, Why Members Leave and What We Can Do About It Oct 28, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Dr. Ryan Gottfredson (active LDS, married father of two, leadership and management professor at the College of Business and Economics at California State University-Fullerton) joins us to talk about his Leading Saints article called “The Root Cause for Why Members Leave the Church and What Leaders Can Do About It”. In this article Ryan shares facts about why people leave the Church and what ministering tools we can use to help people who want to find a way to stay be able to stay. Ryan brings his professional work into this space discussing adults development stages and how a “faith crisis” should be framed in a positive way as growth and “vertical development”. Ryan opens up about some of his difficult experiences and how he has able to move forward. This is a powerful podcast. I learned so much. If you are in a “faith crisis” please listen to his podcast. If you are a Latter-day Saint and want better ministering tools to help you fellow Latter-day Saints with honest questions and to better create Zion, please listen to Ryan’s insights. I believe it will help you. Thank you, Ryan, for being on the podcast and your needed work in our community! Podcast Links: Leading Saints Article: https://leadingsaints.org/the-root-cause-for-why-members-leave-the-church-what-leaders-can-do-about-it/ Ryan’s New Book “The Elevated Leaders”: https://www.amazon.com/Elevated-Leader-Leadership-Vertical-Development/dp/1631958917 Ryan’s Web Site (also where you can contact him): https://ryangottfredson.com/ ** Please Check Out My New Book (Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture; Chapter 10 talks about this subject) ** Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566

    Episode 578: Crystal Bowman, Education Week Speaker on Shame Free Sex Education Oct 25, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Crystal Bowman (active LDS, Mother of six, Marriage and Family Therapist) joins us to share some thoughts on how to talk to our kids about sex from a shame-free approach. The podcast provides new perspectives and helpful tools to begin to talk about sex in an age-appropriate way to be intentional and normalize these conversations in our homes. Crystal teaches this is not a one-time conversation—but an ongoing dialogue with our children that continues as they age up into adulthood. If you are looking for better tools to teach sex education in your home, please listen to Crystal’s insights. It will help you. If you are a local leader wanting to improve your ability to talk about and teach on this subject, this podcast will help you. I wish I had listened to a podcast like this 30 years ago. When we know better, we do better. Thank you, Crystal, for your needed voice and work in our community. I encourage everyone to listen and share this podcast. Links mentioned in the podcast: Crystal’s e-mail: crystalbowmanmft@gmail.com Crystal’s webpage: http://crystalbowman.net; https://www.arizonafamilyinstitute.com/CrystalBowmanMASLAMFT Crystal's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100063576522561 LDS Church lesson manual: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/help-for-parents/lessons-for-teaching-children/sexual-intimacy

    Episode 577: Amberly Bean, Gay Latter-day Saint Oct 22, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Amberly June Bean (gay, active LDS, lo married mother of one; late 20’s) joins us to bravely share her story. Amberly, who grew up in Idaho Falls, talks about knowing she was gay and eventually coming out to her mother (good experience). She talks about the shame and suicidal ideation she felt during this time and not wanting to disappoint her Heavenly Parents by being gay. Amberly talks about the good experience of serving a mission (Nashville, Tennessee) which included coming out to her Mission President. Amberly talks about not participating in the Church for a time and dating women after her mission—but then returning to the church. Amberly, in an unexpected turn, talks about falling in love and marrying her husband, Kendall. Amberly talks about why she decided to come out more broadly via this podcast and her work with Lift and Love to help with support groups for queer youth. Thank you Amberly for being on the podcast. You are brave and awesome. Your story will help so many.

    Episode 576: Liz Kazandzhy, LDS Author “The Holy Ghost from A to Z” Oct 20, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Liz Kazandzhy (married mother of 3, active LDS, podcaster) joins us to talk about her new book focused on helping us better unlock the power of the Holy Ghost to have more spiritual experiences, make better decisions, and feel more hope. Liz (taking each letter of the alphabet) shares how the Holy Ghost can help and guide us. She also shares some personal stories, including working through depression, anxiety, and self-doubt. If you are looking for better tools to unwrap the power of the Holy Ghost, I encourage you to listen to this episode and check out her book. Thank you, Liz, for your wonderful work in our community! Links mentioned in the podcast: The Holy Ghost from A to Z: https://www.amazon.com/Holy-Ghost-What-Spirit-Can/dp/1462142745/ or https://deseretbook.com/p/the-holy-ghost-from-a-to-z Liz’s Podcast: https://ldsbooknook.com/ Liz’s Website: https://lizkazandzhy.com/ Liz’s Podcast Interview on The Cultural Hall: https://www.theculturalhallpodcast.com/2022/09/11/liz-kazandhy-ep-626-the-cultural-hall/

    Episode 575: Cassidy Lundgren, Scrupulosity and Depression Oct 16, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Cassidy Lundgren (married mother of four, active LDS) joins us to talk about her three-decade journey dealing with OCD (especially scrupulosity subset) and depression. Cassidy starts with her high school and college years never feeling good enough and being sad all the time—and incorrectly believing that more religious commitment was the key to solve her challenges. Cassidy’s shares how this continued into her college and married years until she was diagnosed with scrupulosity which helped her understand her challenges were not a spiritual weakness but a mental health issue. This was a compete paradigm shift for Cassidy. She gave herself permission to do Church on her terms and develop boundaries on how best to move forward as a committed Latter-day Saint. Cassidy also shares her journey with depression and how she continues to deal with that challenge. Cassidy is very open and brave about her sadness, fears, manifestations of her scrupulosity. It is her hope that her vulnerability will help others walking a similar road. Thank you, Cassidy, for being on the podcast. You are very brave. Your story will help so many! Like to book (The Doubting Disease) mentioned in the podcast: https://www.amazon.com/Doubting-Disease-Scrupulosity-Compulsions-Integration/dp/0809135531 ** Please Check Out My New Book (Listen, Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture; link below which has a chapter on this subject) ** Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-love Amazon: amazon.com/dp/1462139566

    Episode 574: Nathan McLaughlin, Gay Latter-day Saint, Recent RM Oct 13, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Nathan McLaughlin joins us to share his story as a gay Latter-day Saint and recent returned missionary (returned home in August of 2022). Nathan starts the podcast with his years leading up to his mission, why he decided to stay in the church, organize a rally at BYU-I to support LGBTQ students, and then his decision to serve a mission. Nathan then talks about his mission which including coming out to individual people at times during his mission. Nathan then shares his spirit-led decision to come out as gay publicly on Facebook. I believe Nathan is the first Latter-day Saint missionary to come out publicly while serving. Here is a link to Nathan’s Facebook post. https://www.facebook.com/natemaklocklin/posts/187097709829160 Nathan talks about reactions from members, missionaries, and investigators to his Facebook post (mostly positive) and how it allowed him to be more authentic and a more effective missionary. If you are queer and thinking about a mission, Nathan’s podcast will help you. If you are looking to better understand and support queer Latter-day Saints, Nathan’s podcast will help you. Thank Nathan for being on the podcast and your courage to be you. Respect. Our church and world are a better place with you in it. Thank you for your discipleship. ** Please Check Out My LGBTQ Book At: ** Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773 ** Want to develop church-supported LGBTQ activities in your local area? Please join our FB group below ** https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143

    Episode 573: Kory Koontz, Age 60, Life Lessons Oct 10, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Kory Koontz (married father of 5) joins us to share his story in the hopes that his journey in life will help others. Kory bravely talks about figuring out his sexuality (he is bisexual), serving a mission, getting married and divorced, feeling suicidal, staying active in the Church, dealing with pornography, getting remarried, working through bipolar 2 and using God-given talents. Kory is very brave and vulnerable in sharing his story—which he is doing in hopes that is will help others. Thank you, Kory, for being on the podcast and your gospel insights to bring hope and healing.

    Episode 572: Jaci Wightman; LDS Author: “Aren’t You Tired” Oct 07, 2022
    Show notes

    My friend Jaci Wightman (married mother of 7, certified wellness coach) joins us to talk about her new book “Aren’t You Tired: Embracing the Lord’s Call to Enter His Rest”. Jaci write how this book focuses “on how worldly worries, juggling Church responsibilities, and managing societal expectations, many Latter-day Saints are tired. They are weary from constantly striving to work hard enough, be good enough, feel worthy enough. But it is important to remember that the Lord has promised us His rest, not only in the next life, but in this one. All we have to do is stop striving alone for a moment and reach for our Savior's outstretched hand.” Further, Jaci talks about “how we need to leave behind our performance-based paradigm and embrace a grace-filled, new covenant mentality.” She also talks about the love of our Heavenly Parents and Their desire to be involved in our lives on our worst days and our best days. And how that love is not earned—but given to us by grace as Their children. This is a wonderful podcast that I encourage everyone to listen as Jaci’s gospel-based principles that will help you find peace, hope and more grace for yourself and others. Thank you Jaci for being on the podcast and your great work! Podcast links: Jaci’s book: https://www.amazon.com/Arent-Tired-Embracing-Lords-Enter/dp/1462143415 Jaci’s website: https://jaciwightman.com/

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