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    Religion & Spirituality

    Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

    Welcome to our podcast!

    My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
    I am the author of three books:

    “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

    The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

    Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

    I am the author of two Ensign articles:

    ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

    ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

    This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

    Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Thank you for joining us. You can’t donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

    With love, Richard ‘Papa’ Ostler ❤

    Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
    IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
    Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
    Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
    E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 632: Stephen Monsen, Age 26, Gay Latter-day Saint Apr 11, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Stephen Monsen (Richfield Utah native, Wichita Kansas RM) joins us to bravely share his story. Stephen divides his story into four parts: The early years: Figuring out at age 17 he is gay and the immense shame he felt about his attractions. College freshman year: Intense loneliness, depression, some self-harm and coming out to this Bishop (good experience). Stephen talks about how his second semester was much better and turning in his mission papers. Mission: Stephen talks about his mission experience including serving others, companion experiences, improving his relationship with Heavenly Father, and coming out to his Mission President (good experience). He also talks about how the mission helped him accept being gay. Post Mission: Coming out to family (good experience), working with Heavenly Father to figure out his future, what he would know say to his 17-year-old self. I was deeply moved listening to Stephen and his deep maturity, his courage, and his desire to help others. I am so glad I felt impressed to reach out to Stephen to share his story. If you are LGBTQ or working to better support a LGBTQ friend or family member, this episode will help you. Thank you, Stephen, for sharing your story. It will help so many. You have a great life ahead of you. Podcast Links: Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 631: Dave and Kimi Martin, Transgender Son Levi Apr 08, 2023
    Show notes

    ** Trigger Warning: This podcast talks about suicide. If you are suicidal, please call/text/chat 988 ** My friends Dave and Kimi Martin join us to talk about their transgender son Levi who died of suicide in December of 2022 at the age of 17. Dave and Kimi (active LDS, Parents of 7, Live in Massachusetts) share their story of the journey to understand and then support their son. They do this to honor Levi and also to invite us to do better. They talk about their bright, intelligent son Levi—and their joint efforts to understand the cause of his emotional challenges which was finally understood to be being transgender. Even with that understanding they talk about how Levi—turning 18—was “terrified of how society treats transgender persons.” The Martins talk about the principle of “proximity” and the need to listen to and understand people different than how that helps us better love and support them. They talk about the heartache of losing a child, hopes on how we can do better to support queer people, and gratitude for the many acts/messages of support. I encourage everyone to listen to the Martin’s story and share it with friends. Discuss it as families and ward/stake councils. Consider what we can do to follow the example of Jesus to better support those marginalized by society. Their story and Levi’s life helps us better see, understand, love, and our transgender friends. Thank you, Dave and Kimi, for being on the podcast and sharing your story. On behalf of all of our listeners, thank you. And we love the Martin family and are so sorry Levi is gone. Podcast links: Facebook Post: https://www.facebook.com/dmartinine/posts/pfbid013xyRvZFBTaXeEarY1RK3RTAhZKVjh4kxhDyWDbN1A56MKNz3RkCXkU1dUj6aS2ml Obituary: https://www.tributearchive.com/obituaries/26743430/levi-martin Eulogy: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1NTKWqxgZBamE5hnuh7XhcKm2WyMUjs_B/view?fbclid=IwAR1AtQiPUIoheXLQ9PIk-TS2TaQvoucim3Ww-P3JDf7ZxzfiQSCxj-cD32I Gordon Laws: Irreantum Article: https://irreantum.associationmormonletters.org/_20-1-i-can-take-or-leave-it/ Evan Smith’s Crossroads: https://www.gayldscrossroads.org/ Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints

    Episode 630: McKenna Goodrich, Age 17, Lesbian Latter-day Saint Apr 05, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend McKenna Goodrich joins us via Zoom from her home in Georgia to bravely share her story in hopes of helping others. McKenna talks about coming out to herself knowing she was different and then coming out to others. McKenna talks her personal relationship with Jesus and love from her Heavenly Father that is helping her on her journey. McKenna (whose Mom Alicia Hall was on Episode 596) talks about the experiences that led her to understand she is lesbian how that, along with being a beloved daughter of God, is part of her identity—both being good things. McKenna talks about her patriarchal blessing, why she is a member of the Church, why she hopes to serve and mission, and her hopes for the future. McKenna is a member of Gen Z of which 19.7% identify as LGBTQ (Gallup). Great episode for Y/W leaders to listen and then counsel together on how to support Y/W who are not straight/cis (including those who are not out). McKenna has great support from her Y/W leaders. Thank you, McKenna, for being on the podcast. You are so brave. You being open gives hope to other queer Latter-day Saints and helps all of us consider who to better support our queer friends. Thank you for your courage. You have a great life ahead of you! Podcast Links: Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 629: Emily Adams, LDS Author, New Book “Divine Quietness” Apr 02, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Emily Robinson Adams (married mother of three, appellate attorney) join us to talk about her new book called “Divine Quietness: Fining Meaning When Heaven is Silent”. In the book, Emily bravely shares her journey with prayers met with silence. She talks about why a loving God would not answer her prayers. Emily shares her experience—which occurred over a couple of years—to deconstruct and then reconstruct her belief in and relationship with God using a completely new framework. She talks about the books, practices, analogies and perspectives that helps her reconstruct her relationship with God. I was deeply moved listening to Emily. If you are wondering if God is there and/or why your prayers do not feel like they are being answered, Emily’s book will help you. It is not just theory—it includes her own powerful and vulnerable story. Emily’s book will also help you better help others. Thank you, Emily, for writing this book and being on the podcast. Your voice is so needed in our community. This book is a must-read. Podcast links: Deseret Book: https://deseretbook.com/p/divine-quietness Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BZ2CZFJH

    Episode 628: Allison Dayton and Ben Schilaty: New LGBTQ Conference Called “Gather” Mar 30, 2023
    Show notes

    My friends Allison Dayton (founder of Lift and Love) and Ben Schilaty (co-host of Questions From The Closet and Author) join us to talk about a new LDS/LGBTQ event called “Gather: Christ-centered support for Latter-day Saint LGBTQ individuals and those who love them”. The conference is on Sept 15th and 16th, 2023 at Utah Valley Convention Center, Provo, Utah. Allison and Ben talk about why they (and others) decided to do the conference, who is invited, goals, logistics, speakers, and their personal hopes for the conference. I was deeply moved listening to Allison and Ben as they shared some of their story and the hopes for this conference. I encourage everyone to attend this conference and invite others. It will help you. And help all of us better create Zion. Podcast Links: Gather: https://gather-conference.com/ Lift and Love: https://www.liftandlove.org/ Questions From The Closet: https://questionsfromthecloset.com/ Ben Schilaty’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08PNM4GFC

    Episode 627: Mary Alice Hatch, Host of “What Now” Podcast, RS President Mar 27, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Mary Alice Hatch (married mother of 2) joins us from her home in San Clemente, California to share her story. Mary Alice talks about her son coming home from his mission early after receiving personal revelation it was the right thing to do. She talks about her support of her son and honoring his personal revelation and the need for our culture to do the same. This experience of seeing first-hand how the culture can be damaging for some Latter-day Saints, inspired Mary Alice to start a podcast call “What Now” which focused on how to improve the experience for Latter-day Saints. It is a powerful and needed podcast in our community. Mary Alice also talks about what her Relief Society Presidency is doing to create a safe culture for members to feel safe opening up about the realities of their lives so we can better heal and support others. She talks about how “people don’t connect to perfection but to vulnerability”. Mary Alice offers ideas on what we can do in our circle of influence to improve our culture. Thank you, Mary Alice, for being on the podcast and your great work in our community. I encourage everyone to check out Mary Allice’s podcast. Podcast links: What Now Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-now/id1474476293 Mary Alice Instagram: @podcastwhatnow Elder Holland’s Talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1iEjWlwoi7A Richard Ostler’s chapter on supporting early release missionaries: https://www.dropbox.com/s/14w6jnbyia6e7dc/Chapter%208%20Variations%20in%20Missionary%20Service.pdf?dl=0

    Episode 626: Hunter Steele (gay BYU student) and Amie Steele (supportive LDS mother) Mar 24, 2023
    Show notes

    My friends Hunter Steele (Age 24, BYU Journalism Major, Kennewick Washington RM) and his mother Amie Steele (married mother of three) join us to share their story. Hunter starts with his story growing up in Nephi, Utah (student body president of his high school) trying to reconcile his sexual orientation in a very heteronormative environment. Hunter talks about his mission (good experience) and then returning home realizing he was still attracted to men. Hunter talks about doing all things “with God” in his journey which led him to come out to his therapist and parents (both good experiences). Hunter then talks about why he came out publicly. This is a powerful—Spirit led—story. Amie shares her story of Hunter coming out to her (she didn’t ever suspect he was gay) and he journey to love and support Hunter. She talks about relying to Christ, prayer ,and scripture study to navigate this road. They share coming out to extended family and friends and the support and love they are receiving. This is one of the finest podcasts we’ve done—especially to have both a parent and her son who is gay jointly sharing their story. I was deeply moved listening to Hunter and Amie and believe their story will help you. I encourage you to listen to this podcast and share it with others. Their story will help so many. Thank you, Hunter and Amie, for sharing your story! Podcast links: Hunter’s coming out post: https://www.instagram.com/p/CkWe6RxyV_l/ Hunter’s Instagram reel with his journal entry: https://www.instagram.com/p/CotP2HNj33w/ Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 624: Mitchell Harris, BYU Student, Pansexual and Non-Binary Mar 18, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Mitchell Harris (any/all) joins us to share their story as a pansexual non-binary Latter-day Saint. Mitchell is a committed Latter-day Saint, served a mission in Mexico City, and is a Math Education major at BYU. Mitchell talks about their early experience and realizing they are queer and their decision to come out in 2019. Mitchell talks about Transmedicalism (something new to me) and how some non-binary/trans people (like Mitchell) do not experience long-term gender dysphoria—yet are trans/non-binary. Mitchell also talks about Church doctrines that help them maintain faith in Christ and why they are a member of the Church. I learned so much from Mitchell. They helped me consider the things I can do in my circle of influence to improve the experience of queer members. The “Body of Christ” is strengthened by having people like Mitchell in it and their contributions. Thank you, Mitchell, for being on the podcast. Your story will help so many. You can find Mitchell on Twitter at @mormonpan

    Episode 623: Katherine Herrmann, Latter-day Saint Author of “TransLucent" Mar 16, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Katherine Herrmann (divorced, father of 7) joins us to talk about her newly published book called “TransLucent: How I put off my natural man and found a spiritual woman” which is focused on her life experiences as an active Latter-day Saint. In the podcast, Katherine shares how she was compelled to write the book and why it’s important. The book explores a twofold journey of understanding her gender identity as a woman, but also as a daughter of God. Learning to overcome her natural man through social and medical transition, but more importantly with obedience, trusting God, following spiritual promptings, and always staying on the covenant path. The book covers her early years, marriage, family, and divorce. A mixture of experiences with Priesthood leadership. Her years giving hugs at General Conference. How she came to bear her testimony in over 40 wards in 3 years. Getting involved in BYU Women’s Conference and as a volunteer for Time Out For Women. Entering the LDS Singles scene attempting to find love again at church dances and firesides. And the riveting conclusion of when she miraculously did. I encourage listeners to listen to Katherine’s story. I was deeply moved listening to Katherine—it’s a story that helps us better support each other and extend the stakes of Zion. Thank you, Katherine, for being on the podcast. Your work is so needed in our community. Podcast Links: Apple Books: https://books.apple.com/us/book/id6445496533 Amazon Kindle & Paperback: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BSW8S76X Translucent Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100089654260941 E-Mail: translucent@andhalfatime.com

    Episode 622: Madi Davis, BYU Student, Bravely Shares Her Journey To Solve Porn Use Mar 12, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Madi Davis (Age 19, BYU Student, Pre-Business) courageously shares her journey with pornography use that started at age 13. Madi (who is the first woman on our podcast talking about her own porn use) shares about how this came into her life and the immense shame she encountered, which was further magnified as this is framed as a male problem. She shares feeling as though she is the only one, and finally bravely talking to her Bishop and feeling the power of the atonement in her life. Madi talks about powerful principles and concepts that have helped her understand and solve her porn use—a framework that is much more effective than we have used in the past. Madi also talks about why she is talking about this, how she hopes her future husband will respond, and what she wishes her younger self understood. Madi is brave—bringing this important subject into the light where we can talk about it and work together to solve it. If you are a parent, local leader or working to solve porn use, Madi’s podcast will help you. This is one of the very best podcasts we've done on this subject. Thank you Madi for being on the podcast. You are brave. You are a warrior. Your work is so needed. You are helping so many. Podcast Links: Madi's Email: sistersonthefrontlines@gmail.com Madi’s podcast: https://rss.com/podcasts/sistersonthefrontlines/?listen-on=true Madi’s IG account https://www.instagram.com/sistersonthefrontlines/ Richard Ostler Liahona Article: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use?lang=eng Richard Ostler Chapter on Solving Porn Use: https://www.dropbox.com/s/w2ex40l4se85wku/Chapter%204%20Ending%20Pornography%20Use.%20%20Listen%20Learn%20and%20Love%2C%20Improving%20Latter-day%20Saint%20Culture.pdf?dl=0 Richard Ostler Chapter on Repentance: https://www.dropbox.com/s/beou6wikby3rox0/Chapter%205%20Hope-Filled%20Repentance.%20%20%20Listen%20Learn%20and%20Love%2C%20Improving%20Lattter-day%20Saint%20Culture.pdf?dl=0

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