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    Religion & Spirituality

    Listen, Learn & Love Hosted by Richard Ostler

    Welcome to our podcast!

    My name is Richard H. Ostler and I am a native of Salt Lake City, small business owner, married father of six with several grandchildren. I believe in and am deeply committed to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and want it to work for a wider group.
    I am the author of three books:

    “Listen Learn and Love: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints” published in 2020 available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462135773)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Improving Latter-day Saint Culture” published in 2022. The book explores who we can do better to help all Latter-day Saints feel more welcome, needed and a feeling of belonging in our congregations. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462139566)

    “Listen Learn and Love: Building the Good Ship Zion” released in Sept 2023. The book explores additional topics to help all Latter-day Saint feel welcome and needed on the Good Ship Zion. Available at Amazon (amazon.com/dp/1462145280)

    The purpose of all three books is to help us better create Zion by helping more feel welcome, a sense of belonging, and needed in our congregations.

    Proceed from the books go the Stockton Power Memorial Scholarship (www.standingforstockton.com) in honor of Stockton Powers a gay Latter-day Saint teenager who died of suicide in 2016. Everything I do is a self-funded labor of love ❤️

    I am the author of two Ensign articles:

    ‘How the Savior’s Healing Power Applies to Repenting from Sexual Sin’ (August 2020/YSA Digital Only) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/08/young-adults/how-the-saviors-healing-power-applies-to-repenting-from-sexual-sin

    ‘7 Tips for Overcoming Pornography Use’ (October, page 72) www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/2020/10/young-adults/7-tips-for-overcoming-pornography-use.

    This podcast is designed to discuss some more complicated issues in our church to help all of us better “listen, learn and love” so we can minister in a more effective way to all of our Heavenly Parents’ children.

    Podcasts are indexed by category at listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Thank you for joining us. You can’t donate to this podcast. There are no sponsors. But you can leave a review/rate the podcast on the platform you are listening and/or leave a review at Deseret Book/Amazon on my books.

    With love, Richard ‘Papa’ Ostler ❤

    Twitter: twitter.com/Papa_Ostler
    IG: www.instagram.com/papa_ostler
    Facebook: facebook.com/richard.ostler.5
    Substack: https://substack.com/@papaostler
    E-mail: richard@ostlergroup.com

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    Copyright: © All rights reserved

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    Latest Episodes:
    Episode 662: Ashly Stone, Solved Drug Addictions, Host of “Come Back Podcast” Jul 02, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Ashly Stone (married mother of two) joins us to share her remarkable journey of battling additions (which included heroin and jail time) and her journey to recovery. It is a remarkable story of courage, faith and “surrendering”. A key part of Ashly’s recover was her path to reconnect with the Church and access the healing power and hope of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Ashly shares powerful concepts like “I decided to create the person I wanted to be”, and “let your past empower you”. Ashly’s personal story is powerful and give others hope that they can pull out of very difficult and sometimes near hopeless situations. For more on Ashly’s story, check out the first episode on her podcast and also her episode on the All-In podcast. Ashly then talks about the podcast she hosts and founded called “Come Back Podcast” which is stories of people who have returned to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (we production help from her friend Lauren Rose). This remarkable podcast, which is gaining significant traction in our community, has powerful and vulnerable stories of people who have returned. Thank you, Ashly, for being on the podcast and sharing your story. You and your husband Jesse are doing much good in our community. I encourage everyone to hear your story and connect with your podcast. Links: Come Back Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/come-back-podcast/id1641798510 Ashly Stone e-mail: ashly.comebackpodcast@gmail.com Ashly’s episode on All-In Podcast: https://www.ldsliving.com/all-in/ashly-stone-the-power-of-the-comeback

    Episode 661: Dr Jacob Rugh, Dr Michael Wood, Grace Soelberg; New BYU Research On Black LDS. Jun 30, 2023
    Show notes

    My friends Jacob Rugh, Michael Wood and Grace Soelberg (all from the Department of Sociology at BYU) join us to talk about their new peer-reviewed and scholarly published research to better understanding the experience of Black Latter-day Saints. The research article is called “Making Space Behind the Veil: Black Agency within a Predominantly White Religion” in the Journal of Scientific Study of Religion (see show notes to access the article). In the podcast Jacob, Michael and Grace give powerful insights and examples to better understand the experience of Black Latter-day Saints—including the concept of W.E.B. Du Bois’s concept of ‘twoness.’ They also talk about why they embarked on this groundbreaking research effort and their hopes on how the findings can help improve the experience and better value the contributions of Black Latter-day Saints. I was so moved listening to these three authors. The principles and insights help me new tools and perspectives to help better create Zion, see and address racism within myself, and the work we still need to do in our community. I encourage everyone to listen to his episode and check out their research. Thank you, Jacob, Michael, and Grace, for your needed voice in our community! Links: Article in the Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion: https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jssr.12854

    Episode 660: Melissa Dalton-Bradford, Noted LDS Author, 18-Year-Old Son Parker Died in 2007 Jun 27, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Melissa Dalton-Bradford (married mother of four raised over 30 years across nine countries; author of books, articles and poetry; public speaker; MA in Comparative Literature from BYU; co-founder of two non-profits—TSOSrefugees and Mormon Women for Ethical Government), joins us during her trip from her home in Germany to Utah to talk about loss, grief, and living onward. That’s actually the title of one of her books: On Loss and Living Onward: Collected Voices for the Grieving and Those Who Would Mourn With Them. She spoke freely about her family’s experience with traumatic loss, and took us through some vital points from her writing. The book takes readers through the death of her son Parker in a drowning accident in 2007 at age 18 and her family’s efforts at finding hope, healing, and peace. The book in organized in five sections: Life at Death; Love at Death; Living After Death; Learning From Death; and Life, Love and Light Over Death. Melissa is open, raw, honest, vulnerable, and courageous as she shares her immense pain and truths she and her family have learned on this 16-year journey she willingly shares with others. With phrases like “The land of grief”, “death is the great educator”, and “we bond on our broken edges,” Melissa gets at the core of why suffering is also the mortar of true community. She also suggests things we should do and should not do to help someone grieving—powerful lists I hope we discuss openly across our faith community to grow into individuals and a people who can fulfill the core covenant of bearing burdens, mourning, comforting, and being witnesses of God’s presence. I was so deeply moved listening to Melissa. This is a powerful podcast that I encourage all of us to listen to and share with others. It will help you if you are in any sort of grief right now, and it will help all of us who will be walking this road in the future—either in your own grief or walking alongside someone else’s grief. Thank you, Melissa, for your great work in our community. Your voice is so needed. It is an honor to have you in our home and on the podcast. Links: On Loss and Living Onward: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1938301927 Global Mom: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZK9S4F3 Let Me Tell You My Story: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1641700491 Parker’s Obituary: https://www.deseret.com/2007/7/27/19758849/obituary-parker-fairbourne-bradford More on Parker’s Legacy: https://www.thechurchnews.com/2007/12/15/23232276/young-mans-death-impacts-many-lives

    Episode 659: Don and Jenny Hong and Their Gay Son Isaac Jun 24, 2023
    Show notes

    My friends Don and Jenny Hong (married parents of 4) and their gay son Isaac (age 30, RM, has boyfriend) join us to share their family story. Isaac starts with his story of coming out to his parents about 8 years ago following his successful mission and doing everything he knew to be straight. Jenny and Don then share their journey to love and support their gay son and his long-term boyfriend Brock. It’s been a journey for the Hong family with some ups and downs—but a beautiful family love story with a foundation in love, curiosity, listening and honest communication. Don (a former Bishop) then shares a talk he gave (that has since gone viral) called "The Gift of Doubt: How doubt and a gay son brought me closer to God." It is a powerful talk based on Brother Jared Halverson’s stages of faith. Don’s talk hits on a key need in our Church community to normalize doubt and learn to develop new models and perspectives to make our way forward as Latter-day Saints. If you are a parent of a queer child or a child who has chosen to step away from the church, please listen to this podcast. Don and Jenny advice/story/principles will help you. If you are in a faith journey (or helping others deciding to stay or step away) and are looking for new tools/perspectives, Don’s talk will help you. Faith journeys are ever evolving and different for everyone, and the Hong family is continually learning to drop unhealthy expectations and better focus on loving and listening to each other. And if you are a queer Latter-day Saint, Isaac’s honest/powerful story will give you hope. Thank you, Don, Jenny and Isaac, for being on the podcast. You are helping so many! Links: Don’s Talk: www.facebook.com/don.hong.56/posts/6563223063728507 Index of Podcasts: listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 658: Patrick Risk, LDS Author, “One Day at a Time” Jun 22, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Patrick Risk (who was most recently on Episode 297) joins us to talk about his new book “One Day at a Time: Daily Hope for Those Navigating Their Own Path of Healing.” Patrick bravely shares his own life story (including being a survival of sexual abuse, having an eating disorder, and being gay) to bring practical advice and insights for those looking to find peace, healing, and hope. Patrick talks about going from “what if to what now” and going from “victim to victor.” If you are dealing with the complexities of a difficult mortal world and want an authentic voice to give you principles to find peace and hope, please listen to this podcast and read Patricks’ powerful book. Patrick will help you feel God’s love, understand that you are not alone, and that you are strong enough to overcome any obstacles that you face. Thank you, Patrick, for being on the podcast and for your remarkable life ministry to bless others. You are a great man. Links: Patrick’s book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1312789522 Brightness of Hope Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/384339915547209 Worldwide Unified Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/534352464165662

    Episode 657: Jon Rogers, Gay Latter-day Saint, Mid 40s Jun 20, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Jon Rogers (Washington DC RM, recently divorced, attending church, has boyfriend) joins us to share his story. Jon talks about his foundational principles of faith, trust, and patience to guide his life. Jon talks about knowing he was gay but never accepting or believing his he was gay until a deeply spiritual experience about two years ago that helped to better understand how our Heavenly Father feels about him. That led Jon to come out to his wife and then his parents and his two teenage daughters. Jon talks about why his marriage ultimately ended and how he is making his way forward “doing the best I can.” Jon talks about why he continues to attend church (often with his boyfriend Nate), the importance of personal revelation, and grace. I’m grateful for Jon’s courage to share his story. Hearing his story helps us better understand and support LGBTQ Latter-day Saints and also gives LGBTQ Latter-day Saints principles and perspectives as they write their story. Thank you, Jon, for being on the podcast and your courage/vulnerability to share your story. Let’s follow your example and give ourselves and others grace that “we are doing the best we can.” Links: Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Index of Podcasts: listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 656: Samuel Benson, BYU Commencement Speech, Our Place in Zion Jun 17, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Samuel Benson (2023 BYU grad, Boston RM, staff writer for the Deseret News), join us to talk more about his powerful BYU commencement speech call “Our Place in Zion”. Samuel (Sociology and Spanish major, pursuing a career in journalism, and author of an upcoming book about Latter-day Saint immigration) talks about creating Zion. A Zion where all belong. A Zion which is “one of diversity and of peace, one of everlasting joy”. A “Zion defines itself in terms of inclusion, a mission to allow all to find belonging.” Samuel expands on his thoughtful speech with more insights, leader quotes, principles, and examples from the life of Christ to help everyone feel they belong. A Zion with differences and diversity—but unified. I was deeply moved by Samuel’s insights. Samuel talks these big idea concepts and brings them into practical application to “lift where we stand.” Samuel concludes with his testimony and how he navigates the complicated issues to always be “led back” to the core of his testimony and be “tethered there.” I encourage everyone to listen to Samuel’s speech and his podcast to better create Zion. Thank you, Samuel, for being on the podcast and your great work in our community. Podcast Links: Samuel’s speech on YouTube: https://speeches.byu.edu/speakers/samuel-b-benson/ Script of Samuel’s speech: https://speeches.byu.edu/talks/samuel-b-benson/our-place-in-zion/ Wayfare Magazine article: https://www.wayfaremagazine.org/p/a-zion-for-all-of-us Index of Podcasts: listenlearnandlove.org/podcasts

    Episode 655: Jeff Andersen, latter.day.stonecatchers, LGBTQ Ally Jun 14, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Jeff Andersen (married father of three, active LDS) joins us to share his story to become an LGBTQ+ Ally and start his Instagram account @latter.day.stonecatchers . Jeff starts with his own journey in the Church through “reconstruction and expansion”—which has occurred twice through Jeff's journey, including once within the last few years—and why he remains a committed Latter-day Saint. Jeff then talks about a spiritual impression to learn about queer Latter-day Saints which led to a transforming experience a few years ago in his Ward. I was deeply moved hearing this experience. Jeff concludes with his reading of Isaiah 1:17, which he felt specifically and strongly as a spiritual call direct from his Heavenly Parents to be an ally to queer Latter-day Saints and start his Instagram account, podcast, and YouTube channel. I was deeply moved listening to Jeff’s story. Jeff has a gift of understanding our doctrine and practically applying it to help people walking a more complicated road. If you are (or want to be an ally), please listen to Jeff's story. And if you are a local leader, parent of a queer child, or a queer Latter-day Saint, Jeff’s work/voice will help you feel God’s love, the hope of our Savior, and more peace in your life as well as help you bring these things to others. Thank you, Jeff, for being on the podcast and your work to create Zion. Podcast Links: Instagram: @latter.day.stonecatchers Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100091855963860 Latter-day Stonecatchers Podcast (all platforms) & YouTube Channel: linktr.ee/latter.day.stonecatchers Elder Uchtdorf Quote: www.churchofjesuschrist.org/church/news/charity-is-core-of-the-gospel-president-uchtdorf-tells-inner-city-missionaries Elder Renlund Quote: https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2021/04/25renlund?lang=eng Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 654: Kaleb Cox, SUU Student, RM, LGBTQ Ally Jun 11, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Kaleb Cox joins us to share his journey to better understand and support our LGBTQ friends. Kaleb talks about how his Dad’s speech in June 2016 following the killing of 49 patrons at the Pulse club in Orlando (a gay nightclub) moved him to reconsider his assumptions about queer people (https://www.ksl.com/article/40209267/lt-gov-cox-speaks-at-vigil-for-orlando-my-heart-has-changed). Kaleb talks about his missing and serving in Tahiti (good experience) but then Covid hit in March 2020, and he had to leave and was eventually reassigned to Farmington, New Mexico. Kaleb talks about the culture of his mission that was difficult at times and didn’t reflect Jesus. Kaleb talks about how he navigated this, served, helped people along the way, and successfully completed his mission. I was deeply moved hearing more about Kaleb’s courage in the face of serious headwinds (Covid, difficult culture, etc) to serve because of his desire to help lift the hands of others. Kaleb then talks about his post-mission adjustment and then finding his home at SUU (Southern Utah University) where he is a psychology major and has many friends—including his queer friends. Kaleb talks about his love and support of his queer friends and “seeing life through their eyes”. I was deeply moved listening to Kaleb who represent the best of the future—people focused on helping others---especially those walking the most difficult roads. Thank you, Kaleb, for being on the podcast. You are a good man. Love and admire you and your wonderful family! Podcast Links: Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

    Episode 653: Cole Conner, Age 22, Left Church and Returned Jun 08, 2023
    Show notes

    My friend Cole Conner joins us to share his remarkable story. Cole talks about being bullied and realizing his same-sex-attraction. Cole talks about coming out to his parents/bishop and finding support—but also feeling some anger towards the Church. That led to Cole leaving the Church, returning to the Church, again leaving the Church and returning again. Cole talks about his life outside the Church being involved in the LGBTQ community—and why he couldn’t find sustained happiness. Cole talks about the constant love he feels from his Heavenly Father and Savior and their foundational role to give him hope and perspective. Cole also talks about working through two periods of being suicidal. Cole talks about finding sustained peace and joy in the Church and why his spiritual identity is straight. He talks about his hopes for the future including marrying a woman and having a family. Each story we share on this platform is unique and valid. I was deeply moved listening to Cole’s story and his journey. The gospel principles in Cole’s story help each of us find hope, peace, and the role of our Heavenly Parents and Savior in our lives. Thank you, Cole, for being on the podcast. You are a remarkable man. Your story will help so many! Cole is on Instragram @colerussellconner Podcast Links: Ministering to LGBTQ Latter-day Saints Facebook Group: www.facebook.com/groups/1433556613672143 Richard Ostler Book: Embracing LGBTQ Latter-day Saints: Deseret Book: www.deseretbook.com/p/listen-learn-and-love-embracing-lgbtq-latter-day-saints Amazon: www.amazon.com/dp/1462135773

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