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    Education

    Life Is A Marathon

    The Life is a Marathon show gives you inspiration, motivation, and resources to empower you to thrive and win in the marathon we call “life!” Bruce Van Horn is a Life Coach, Mentor, Thought Leader, Best-Selling Author, Entertaining and Motivational Speaker, Dad, and Marathon runner. He brings his respected insight, wisdom, leadership, and storytelling abilities to this podcast to share with you information, tips, life-hacks, and entertaining and heart-warming stories with the goal of helping you transform your life, build your self-esteem, recognize your value to the world, and live as the fullest expression of who you were created to be. Your thinking defines who you are in every way. It shapes your self-esteem, self-image and self-worth. It also controls the way you perceive the world and how you interact with others. You can change your life by changing your thoughts. Use this podcast as your personal mentoring program as you transform your life by the renewing of your mind.

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    Latest Episodes:
    LIAM 079 – QCT: The Solutions Focus: Why So High? Mar 23, 2015
    Show notes

    Quick Coaching Tip (QCT): The Solutions Focus is a great tool to keep in your mental tool bag! Instead of focusing on the problems and what you don't want, focus on solutions, what is working, and what you want more of. When rating something on a scale of 1 to 10, whatever the number is, ask "Why so high?" Listen as I explain this and other applications in this quick coaching tip: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Mentioned in this show: Boston Marathon #Miles4Smiles Fundraiser Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living LIAM Team Life Coaching Community Subscription/Social Links: Subscribe on iTunes! Subscribe on Stitcher Radio! LIAM on Twitter: @LifeIs262 LIAM on Facebook / LifeIsAMarathon Subscribe to the LIAM Mailing List www.BruceVanHorn.com Bruce Van Horn on Twitter Bruce Van Horn on Facebook


    LIAM 078 – E+R=O Applied with Kent Julian Mar 22, 2015
    Show notes

    Kent Julian learned to apply the formula "Event + Response = Outcome" (E+R=O) to his entire life and it has opened doors for him that he never foresaw. Kent is a gifted, highly sought-after, speaker and coach who teaches teens, young adults, and professionals how to reach their fullest potential by applying this simple formula in practical, actionable ways. Listen to this fun, energetic conversation: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Show Quotes: You have a story, you just need to find the right audience for it. It's not what we do that makes work secular or sacred, it's why we do it. I learned E+R=O from two mentors and that completely changed my life. The worst thing you can do is think, think, think, but never DO anything! The best thing you can do is take action! Read books, learn new things, hire coaches! Always be asking "what is the next best step?" and then take it! You don't know which path to take if you're not actively walking down a path. I felt if I had stayed in the job I now longer loved, I was doing them a disservice. You never really make any mistakes, you learn and grow. A problem is just an opportunity looking for a solution. Thinking is important, but you can think on your feet while you're moving. Take your greatest adversity and turn it into your greatest advantage. That's E+R=O! Mentioned in this show: Kent Julian Website: liveitforward.com Twitter: @KentJulian Facebook: /KentJulian Instagram: @Kent_Julian E+R=O Wristband Boston Marathon #Miles4Smiles Fundraiser "Worry No More" Book Cover Contest Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living LIAM Team Life Coaching Community Subscription/Social Links: Subscribe on iTunes! Subscribe on Stitcher Radio! LIAM on Twitter: @LifeIs262 LIAM on Facebook / LifeIsAMarathon Subscribe to the LIAM Mailing List www.BruceVanHorn.com Bruce Van Horn on Twitter Bruce Van Horn on Facebook


    LIAM 077 – No Rejection, Only Protection! No Failure, Only Data! Mar 19, 2015
    Show notes

    Relationship breakups can be very difficult to overcome because rejection is one of the most painful feelings we can experience. However, the rejection we feel is all based on a story we tell ourselves about why it happened. Change the story, change your perspective, change your feelings. Listen as I propose there is no rejection, there is only project, and there is no failure, only data: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Show Outline: In our personal lives: We all experience rejection, it's part of life How that rejection makes us feel is 100% the result of the story we tell ourselves about it. Two of my favorite quotes: God removes people from your life for a reason. Don't run after them! God puts people in your life for a reason, and removes them for a reason. Do you believe there is a purpose and plan for your life? Then you must believe everything that happens is part of that purpose, no matter how painful. To believe it is rejection, is to disbelieve in God's plan, or worse, to assign harmful or malicious intent to God It's all protection. All for the purpose of keeping you on the path meant for you. It's all preparation to shape you into the person you are supposed to be. In the Life Planning I do, it amazes me how many people do their "ideal life scenario" and it doesn't include the person they are with or the job they are doing now, they they are afraid to leave either because of fear. Do you love that person enough to want them to have the best possible relationship with the best possible person? Are you, right now, that person, the person he/she really deserves? If not, get about the business of becoming that person--but do it for YOU! Do it because YOU deserve the best and to be the best you can be. Do it because, when the right person comes into your life, he/she deserves you to be the best. You never know if your paths will cross again Story of college sweethearts, broke up, met again 10 years later, got married. Better people, less clingy. In business/sales: You are in the sifting and sorting business, not the begging and pleading business. You must believe that your product is valuable and not to be taken lightly or used by just anyone You must protect your product from being used by the wrong customer Not all customers are good customers You must protect yourself and your company from low-profit, high maintenance customers You must protect your customers by not selling them something they don't need or won't truly benefit them. "No" simply means it wasn't the right fit for the customer at this time. Do not take it as rejection. There is not such thing as failure, there is only data. Why did they not want to buy Why did you decide it wasn't the right match Mentioned in this show: Boston Marathon #Miles4Smiles Fundraiser Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living LIAM Team Life Coaching Community Subscription/Social Links: Subscribe on iTunes! Subscribe on Stitcher Radio! LIAM on Twitter: @LifeIs262 LIAM on Facebook / LifeIsAMarathon Subscribe to the LIAM Mailing List www.BruceVanHorn.com Bruce Van Horn on Twitter Bruce Van Horn on Facebook


    LIAM 076 – Quick Coaching Tip (QCT): Add “Yet” To Your Negative Self-Talk Mar 18, 2015
    Show notes

    Quick Coaching Tip (QCT): Add "Yet" To Your Negative Self-Talk. This is the first of what will be my Quick Coaching Tip (QCT) episodes. A great way to help your negative self-talk, phrases like "I can't," is to add the word "yet" to the end of it. It becomes "I can't, yet," which gives you the hope you need to move through a difficult time in your life. Listen as I explain this and other applications in this quick coaching tip: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Mentioned in this show: Boston Marathon #Miles4Smiles Fundraiser Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living LIAM Team Life Coaching Community Subscription/Social Links: Subscribe on iTunes! Subscribe on Stitcher Radio! LIAM on Twitter: @LifeIs262 LIAM on Facebook / LifeIsAMarathon Subscribe to the LIAM Mailing List www.BruceVanHorn.com Bruce Van Horn on Twitter Bruce Van Horn on Facebook


    LIAM 075 – Celebrating Life After Mesothelioma with Heather Von St. James Mar 17, 2015
    Show notes

    At 36 years old with a 3 month old daughter, Heather Von St. James was diagnosed with Mesothelioma and given about 15 months to live. Now, 9 years, later, Heather is on a mission to education people about Mesothelioma and to deliver hope while celebrating every day she is alive. Listen to her amazing, inspiring story: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Show Quotes: I only gained 5 pounds during the course of myfastpregnancy. I was growing a tumor at the same time I was growing a child. It felt like a truck had parked on my chest and I couldn't take a full breath. A CT scan showed a large mass on my left lung, which turned out to be Mesothelioma Mesothelioma is caused by exposure to asbestos and typically has a 18-month life expectancy after diagnosis. I can't die. Tell me how we can fix this! I was exposed to asbestos before age 10 because my father was a construction worker who brought the dust home on his clothing. OK, so I have this. Now what do we do about it? There was never the crying out: "Why me, God, why me?!" My daughter gave me the courage because I didn't want her raised without a Mom! There was fear, and there were tears, but mostly there was determination! You have to have a sense of humor. I named my tumor "Punxsutawney Phil" because my surgery was going to be on Groundhog Day. You poke fun at things and it takes the fear away. We celebrate the day of my surgery and call it "Lung Leavin' Day" because that's the day my lung left! We've taken something that could be really bad, the removal of my lung due to cancer, and we've turned into a celebration of life and a night to conquer your fears. Me: Do you ever look back and say "I wish this had never happened to me?" Heather: (without hesitation) No! If I could go back and do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing because it has made me who I am today! I can roll over and give up, or I can make something of every day and enjoy it. You look for the bright spots wherever you can find them! Mentioned in this show: Heather Von St. James Blog: mesothelioma.com/heather Twitter: @HeatherVSJ Instagram: @HeatherVSJ Facebook: HeatherVonStJames International Asbestos Awareness Conference mesothelioma.com curemeso.org LIAM 053 – Journey Well with Mary McManus Boston Marathon #Miles4Smiles Fundraiser Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living LIAM Team Life Coaching Community Subscription/Social Links: Subscribe on iTunes! Subscribe on Stitcher Radio! LIAM on Twitter: @LifeIs262 LIAM on Facebook / LifeIsAMarathon Subscribe to the LIAM Mailing List www.BruceVanHorn.com Bruce Van Horn on Twitter Bruce Van Horn on Facebook


    LIAM 074 – Are You A Philosopher? Mar 15, 2015
    Show notes

    A philosopher is, literally, a lover of wisdom. Are you a philosopher? Do you love wisdom? Do you seek wisdom like a parent would seek a lost child? I hope so! Listen as I talk about why it is so important love our human ability to think, to rationalize, and to be aware that our thoughts are what create our lives: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Show Quotes: From Winnie The Pooh: "If ever there's a tomorrow when we're not together, there's something you must remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Are you a "Philosopher"? I contend that you are! From Dictionary.com: Philosopher A person who regulates his or her life, actions, judgments, utterances, etc., by the light of philosophy or reason. A person who is rationally or sensibly calm, especially under trying circumstances. "Philosopher" literally, a lover of wisdom What is wisdom? (from Dictionary.com) Knowledge of what is true or right coupled with just judgment as to action; sagacity, discernment, or insight. The ability or result of an ability to think and act using knowledge, experience, understanding, common sense, and insight The ability to see the future consequences of today's actions Basically: living intentionally! I want you to fall in love with your ability to think and act intentionally. To not just go through the motions, letting life happen to you. Instead happening to your life, questioning the reasons behind your thoughts and changing them if they don't support the you you want to be or the world you want to live in. I discovered in my own life that I did not have a financial problem, or a weight problem, or a relationship problem, or a lack of opportunities problem. I had a thought problem! The life you live (experience/feel) is not the result of your circumstances or events outside of your control. It is 100% the result of your thoughts. If you are happy or unhappy, it is the result of your thoughts. If you feel loved/unloved, appreciated/unappreciated, respected/disrespected, etc, it is the result of your thoughts about yourself, other people, and the world. To change your life, you must change your thoughts! In order to change your thoughts, you must do the simplest, yet, surprising the the most difficult thing: you must THINK! You must think your own thoughts, not the thoughts that were passed down to you, programmed into you by other people, parents, teachers, religions. Think your own thoughts, thoughts that support who you are, what you want to believe about yourself, people, god, the universe. Own it. Only when you own your own thoughts and faith can you truly live it with peace and confidence. Do you love wisdom? Do you long for it, seek it like a parent would look for a lost child? Do you want, will all your heart, to be wise, to make wise decisions, to slow down and ask yourself "is this wise?" Every thought, decision, action has future consequences. Are you thinking about them? Are they creating the you you want to be in five minutes, five weeks, five months, five years? I know the answer to these questions is yes! Maybe not yesterday, but as of today, the answer is yes! You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. You are wise, you embody wisdom! And since a philosopher is a lover of wisdom, and I am a philosopher, I love you! Mentioned in this show: Boston Marathon #Miles4Smiles Fundraiser Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living LIAM Team Life Coaching Community Subscription/Social Links: Subscribe on iTunes! Subscribe on Stitcher Radio! LIAM on Twitter: @LifeIs262 LIAM on Facebook / LifeIsAMarathon Subscribe to the LIAM Mailing List www.BruceVanHorn.com Bruce Van Horn on Twitter Bruce Van Horn on Facebook


    LIAM 073 – Self-Worth: A Conversation with Chris LoCurto Mar 12, 2015
    Show notes

    Chris LoCurto is a business and life coach who has changed the lives of many people, and the success of many businesses, with his wisdom and consistent message of hope and personal accountability. Listen as Chris and I have a conversation about the victim mentality and finding the true source of our self-worth: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Show Quotes: A victim mentality says: I can't make life any better than this. People, understand you are in control of your life; you are in control of outcomes; spending time being a victim does nothing but hold you back. I stopped skiing, I stopped watching the Olympics, and I ended up missing out, for years, on something I absolutely loved because of my victim mentality. That was a turning point in my life. Do the things that you can do. If you can't get what you want, find a way to get what you want. If you can't do that, be content where you are. Being bitter at another person is like drinking cyanide and expecting the other person to die. Having a victim mentality is like trying to hurt your circumstance and you are the one who ends up getting hurt in the long run. There are people getting hurt because they are trying to find their identity, their self-worth, in people. A person cannot give you self-worth longer than about 30-seconds! People gossip at work because they don't have a leader who listens! A Jewish concept of worship is "workship"! We worship God by how we treat his children. Work is worship. How you treat others is worship. I don't get my self-esteem from my customers, I get it from God. Mentioned in this show: Chris LoCurto Website: chrislocurto.com Twitter: @ChrisLoCurto Facebook: ChrisLoCurto Boston Marathon #Miles4Smiles Fundraiser Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living LIAM Team Life Coaching Community Subscription/Social Links: Subscribe on iTunes! Subscribe on Stitcher Radio! LIAM on Twitter: @LifeIs262 LIAM on Facebook / LifeIsAMarathon Subscribe to the LIAM Mailing List www.BruceVanHorn.com Bruce Van Horn on Twitter Bruce Van Horn on Facebook


    LIAM 072 – Self-Care is NOT Selfish! Mar 10, 2015
    Show notes

    Many people, with good intentions, think they should give all they have in the service of others. They think taking time away to do something fun, relaxing, for personal development just for them, is an act of selfishness. Self-care is NOT selfish! Listen as I explain how taking care of yourself is, actually, the most generous thing you can do: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Show Outline: Question: Who is the most important person in the world? The President, the Pope, your spouse, your children? No. It's YOU!! You have to take care of your car or it doesn't run. If you are a business owner, you have to invest in and take care of the equipment needed to produce your product or you'll be out of business! You cannot be the greatest mom, dad, business person, athlete, care-giver, financial investor.... if you don't exist! The most valuable asset you will ever own, the best investment you will ever make, is YOU!! Self-Care is NOT Selfish! Secure the oxygen mask to our own face first, in the case of an emergency on an airplane. It is very hard to care for the people around you if you are gasping for breath and struggling for your own survival. I meet so many people, who are near the point of burnout from caring for others, who are reluctant to take a mental and physical health break, because they feel it would be selfish to do so. You owe it to the people you care for to take good care of yourself! You cannot continue to give the best level of care if you are depleting all of your physical and emotional resources. Having strong work-ethic and caring about your job is admirable, but you are actually doing your company a disservice by not taking care of yourself, physically or emotionally. If you have a mental breakdown, get sick, or just lose stamina because you are exhausted, you will not be able to perform your work--therefore hurting the company you are trying to help, therefore having a bad work ethic! Most churches hold annual women’s retreats. Often, women who are reluctant to go because they feel guilty about taking a weekend away from their husbands and children to go away with a group of other women to "retreat." I take occasional weekend retreats to be alone, rest, think and write. I always come back with more energy and creative ideas than before I left. In fact, my boys will sometimes recognize the symptoms and say "Dad, maybe it’s time for you to take a retreat." Sometimes the best strategy for moving forward is a brief retreat! Please, for the sake of everyone who needs you, take care of yourself first. We need you to be your best! Here are just a few things you can to do to invest in yourself: Consistently get a good night's rest. Fatigue from lack of sleep is very dangerous to your physical and mental health. Eat well and exercise regularly. Your body is a priceless piece of equipment; treat it that way. Spend quality, unplugged, time away from work with your family and friends. Really, have a life. Feed your brain a regular diet of good books, both fiction and non-fiction, unrelated to your occupation. Join a "mastermind group" of people who will encourage, educate and support you. There's no shame in getting help. In fact, it is wise! If you are near or already to the point of burnout, seek the professional help a counselor or life coach. The most important point, here, is to realize your company, your family, your dependents, your friends, in fact, the whole world, needs you to be the best possible you. Invest in yourself. As you take care of yourself and improve yourself, those around you benefit and are, themselves, improved. Self-care is not selfish. It may be the most generous thing you can do! Mentioned in this show: LifeThought: Self-Care is Not Selfish - Bruce Van Horn Boston Marathon #Miles4Smiles Fundraiser Download: Affirmations for Abundant Living LIAM Team Life Coaching Community


    LIAM 071 – What Comes Out When You Get Squeezed? Mar 08, 2015
    Show notes

    What comes out of you when you get squeezed? When a squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out because that's what's inside. Stressful situations do not bring out the worst in us, they just reveal what is in us. Listen as I talk about this metaphor and use two real-life examples of how two beautiful people responded to very stressful situations: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Show Outline: Grocery store: man just verbally assaulted the cashier--a girl, maybe 19-20 years old--for some mistake she made. She wiped tears from her eyes. I apologized for his behavior to comfort her. She said it was OK, that she actually felt sorry for him. "He must be really hurting inside"! My good friend, Jaime Primak-Sullivan, was on the Delta Airlines plane that crashed on Thursday, 3/5/15, in New York City. The next morning, she appeared on NBC's TODAY Show. I'm so proud of how she handled herself--really showed who she is and what is in her heart. Dr. Wayne Dyer: When you squeeze an orange, you'll always get orange juice to come out. What comes out is what's inside. The same logic applies to you: when someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, or says something unflattering or critical, and out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, tension, depression, or anxiety, that is what's inside. If love and joy are what you want to give and receive, change your life by changing what's inside. So the question is this: what comes out when you get squeezed? Is it anger, judgment, resentment, envy, distrust, cynicism, fear, hatred, rage, why me, victim thinking? Or is it love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, compassion, trust there is a purpose, faith you will get through it, knowing that it isn't about you--it's about them. Have you ever just snapped at someone, not meaning to, and thought "wow, where did that come from?" It's a good question. The answer is "it came from somewhere inside me and I need to find the source of poison and heal it." Ultimately, the poison that comes out of us comes from a place that is wounded. Story about dog getting run over. We do things when we are hurting that we would not do when we are peaceful deep inside and content with our life--like the girls said: he must be hurting. The wounded places within us come from a low self-esteem, a lack of love for ourselves and who we are, a lack of faith in a higher power that has a plan and purpose. Ultimately, the wounds come from the story we tell our selves about who we are and we agree with the story, even though, deep in our hearts, we know it isn't true--and so we are at war with ourselves. The tale of two wolves: One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said "my son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace love, hope serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith." The grandson though about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "which wolf wins?..." The old man simply replied, "the one that you feed." http://www.nanticokeindians.org/tale_of_two_wolves.cfm So, the most important part of training yourself for the marathon of life is to first decide which wolf you want to win--in fact, which wolf you want to be--and then spend conscious, intentional effort feeding that wolf. You get to choose. If you want to be the good wolf, feed it good, loving, healthy thoughts--these are thoughts about you, who you are, what you are, your self-worth. Affirm your life! Build yourself up. Affirm other people. Build them up. Speak kind words or don't speak at all. I asked a friend how her husband was, she said "he is well." I said is that all?


    LIAM 070 – 4 Steps to Help You Stop Worrying. Mar 05, 2015
    Show notes

    Are you a worrier? You're not alone! Most of us spend huge amounts of mental energy worrying about about what will probably never happen or over which we have no control. In this show, I give you 4 steps to help you stop worrying. Listen as I describe how I used these steps to change my own life: Listen on iTunes or Listen to/download this episode here: Show Outline: "I will not waste my days making up all kinds of ways to worry about all the things that will not happen to me" - Jason Mraz - Living In The Moment Worrying about something is projecting a negative outcome on something that hasn't happened. Worrying is a story that you are writing in your head and, though you might not believe it right now, you can write a different story. I was a worrier! I worried about everything. Truth is, I still battle this, but I have trained myself to catch myself doing it and can now correct rather quickly--you can too! Part of it was my low self-esteem, part was the many hardships I actually had suffered and assumed would continue, part was my pessimistic, negative outlook on myself and life. I worried about money, health, business deals, relationships, phone calls that didn't come when I expected them, visitors who didn't show up on time or never arrived at all, how someone interpreted what I had said, was my presentation strong enough to get the deal, was I attractive enough, would I remember the lyrics or chords, would they like me,... the list is very long "I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened." ― Mark Twain I learned how to control and even stop worry when I learned that everything is a script I am constantly writing, a movie I am constantly directing. I learned the E+R=O formula can be applied to the future, to events that haven't happened yet! I learned that setbacks are only ever devastating when you think they'll last forever--they never do unless you choose to let them. My daughter died in 2000. I didn't think I would ever get over that pain. I did. I've filed bankruptcy 2x. I didn't think I'd ever recover emotionally or financially. I did. One year ago, I had an advanced-stage cancer diagnosis--I got through it and am doing great! I know people who have lost everything in fires, floods--they rebuild. "Never place into your imagination any thought that you would not want to materialize." Dr. Wayne Dyer Thoughts become things, we get more of what we focus on. Step 1: Change the story, your thoughts about the future! I can see myself being, doing, experiencing the exact opposite of my worried thoughts I can operate in the present with the desired end in mind, and operate "as if" it was guaranteed to work out just like I want. See your life as you want it to be and start living AS IF Life Plan Athletes visualize the completed event. Sculptors see the image in the stone and just release it. Step 2: Practice living in the moment: Mindfulness - the act of controlling your mind to only think about this very moment. How are you right now? I mean right now! With no reference to the the past (even 2 minutes ago), and no desires for the future. How are you right now? In the hospital, I took a breath, held it and listened to my heart beating. I said "thank you" that my heart was beating and that I was able to breathe, and able to focus on the moment, instead of worrying about the future Step 3: Change your physical state: You can change your mental state by changing your physical state: Stand up and stretch--arms wide, fingers open, back straight, up on toes Hold a pencil in your mouth to force a smile Go for a walk and intentionally notice every detail of the ground, plants, animals, sky, air, smells Step 4: Your life has a purpose and a plan Whatever has happened, is happening now, and will happen is all part of the plan. Embrace it. Own it. Use it.


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