Kagro in the Morning

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Kagro in the Morning - October 15, 2026 Oct 15, 2026

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David Waldman bides his time and ours till the election, by releasing another fascinating KITM. Elon Musk is a supervillain who has actually chosen to kill millions, not because of profit or ideology, but by whim. He owns a microblogging propaganda website that Greg Dworkin visits in order to supply our polling fix. Dems are polling well. Gops are getting killed, but in this case, figuratively. Democrats are preparing for victory. Republicans are preparing for defeat. Neither will get as much as they deserve. Nevertheless, there's already winners and losers. James Talarico took Texans head-on in a CNN town hall. Luckily, James had God on his side. Meanwhile, Gop Andy Harris' debate was a laugh riot. In Andy's defense, he never had to know anything before this moment, and he won't have to at any time in the future either. Abdul El-Sayed knows how to play ball, and when not to. Katie Zacharia, how does she do it? The secret is, she didn't really do it. In fact, she didn't do it at all. Whatever she wasn't doing, she did not do it in China. Kimberly Giulfoyle is out in the cold in Greece. She doesn't think she can trust anybody, and she's right. Kim probably regrets not getting that ass-lift right about now, although Donald's tastes seem to be transitioning… Ted Cruz and Mike Lee want to rescue John Eastman, the problem is, everyone hates those guys. Then again, all Republicans pretty much all hate each other.

Kagro in the Morning - October 14, 2026 Oct 14, 2026

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David Waldman and Greg Dworkin take us one day closer to Election Day. And Halloween! Probably a few others we wouldn't want in a hurry, but Election Day can be ASAP. Horoscopes and polls predict the future about equally well, yet the day after with a bad horoscopevdoesn't hit quite so hard. The best thing about recent polling, however, is that Republicans do believe it, and are cracking under the strain. Gops are pulling money from their incumbents, it's become so bad. That crackup is becoming fun but becoming pretty scary, also. Trump pardoned 2 auto workers on stage during his Alaska rally. Executions would, of course, get more press but the public just isn't there yet. The election is revealing some clever people, some smart people, and some real goofballs. The difference between stupidity and ignorance is that ignorance can be temporary. Soon, we won't have Kimberly Guilfoyle to kick around anymore. Well, maybe not "soon". There's still plenty to kick her about. People like Eric Deters are now beginning to kick more sensitive behinds, including the world's most sensitive, and largest ass, Donald K. Trump. Definitely not a quick cleanup.

Kagro in the Morning - October 13, 2026 Oct 13, 2026

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David Waldman brings us the newest about the latest on KITM. Donald K. Trump opened his Circle of Hell in Youngstown, to praise John Husted's impressive "data center". I don't know how Husted should take this, as Donald was probably lying. Apparently, kickbacks were running thin and Kimberly Guilfoyle had to be let go, that is, fed to the wolves. Trump ended the war between Russia and Ukraine with his mind. South Dakota Gop Monae Johnson became somewhat less ignorant, a little less Gop. Meanwhile, His Excellency, the Most Reverend Timothy P. Broglio, J.C.D., Archbishop for the Military Services, USA, knew right from wrong pretty much all along. Where was James Talarico? Ken Paxton couldn't find him anywhere. Nevada Secretary of State Cisco Aguilar girds his loins as the election and ICE approaches. They say you can't be too young, blonde, or dumb for Trump's White House, yet Katie Zacharia is willing to give it a try. A furious judge halted tree removal and demanded answers on Trump's D.C. golf plan. So far, that has not halted tree removal nor delivered her answers.

Kagro in the Morning - October 12, 2026 Oct 12, 2026

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David Waldman congratulates Hitler Mussolini, one of the "good ones", on today's jam-packed KITM. For several months, Greg Dworkin has brought us polls which we understood were really probably not portents of anything to come. Well, those days are done, that cake has sailed, we now have early voting results not meriting our credence, many gleaned from the least trustable place on earth. Nonetheless, all pretty good news, if things remotely turn out that way. At least we can see things, at this moment, suck for Gops, and rock for Dems. Trump's illegal ad stole taxpayer money, and makes viewers hate him more. Donald K. Trump is earning the next Nobel prize, which is slated to be a Russian franchise in a few months, by "brokering a peace deal" between Russia and Ukraine, which neither had heard about, and setting up an oil deal that only he and Vlad and Iran have known about since September. Speaking of Jeffrey Epstein, so is Marjorie Taylor Greene. No, you do not have to hand it to her, although sooner or later, someone probably will. Ilhan Omar tops today's vengeance list. Kimberly Guilfoyle accepted bribes and bragged about them. It is unclear what Trump would have against that, unless he didn't get a cut. Katie Miller and Stephen Miller, quiconque a du goût et de l'humanité les déteste. La guillotine est trop bonne pour eux. Pete Hegseth can be first to wherever Democrats want to send him. 500 trees might be removed for Trump's DC public to private golf club conversion…. A federal court orders that tree removal must stop… oops! They're all gone! No one could see that coming. Kansas Gop Roger Marshall has one fewer person booing him now that he paid his bakery bill.

Kagro in the Morning - October 9, 2026 Oct 09, 2026

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David Waldman treats us to another KITM beforeanother jerky weekend. Did you hear? There's talk about impeaching Donald K. Trump and Pete Kegsbreth! So much so that the two of them teamed up to introduce a frankly compelling alternative. Yes, it is impossible to underestimate the depravity of this administration. Next up against the wall are slated to be Somalis. Not just any Somalis but... no... actually, any Somalis. Tom Emmer went from holding a caucus to holding the Luger. Let's see, following the Somalis will be... Canadians. We're gonna need a bigger wall. Trump also wants criminal charges against Cassidy Hutchinson, and Lisa Cook, and probably Navi Pillay before the end of today. What about Kimberly Guilfoyle? Kim established a "fake it 'till you make it" club in Greece that did a lot of faking, but not much making. Eric "Honey please" Deters is really in the doghouse with his wife now! Marco Rubio doesn't believe a word of this, except for the part where he takes her out before she endangers his bosses. Don Jr says, "Tell Kim. I want her to know it was me." Set a course for repugnance! Boxcars of migrants can now be simply loaded into cargo ships for deportation.

Kagro in the Morning - October 8, 2026 Oct 08, 2026

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David Waldman fixed his KITM audio problems! Now, if he only knew how he did it, he could try to remember it for next time. Greg Dworkin brings us joyous polling with great tidings of Democratic leanings! Double haters will smite the Gops as we head to the promised land of November 4… Ok, polls have historically been crap. They are probably crap this time, too. But look at it this way… poll crappiness could be crappy towards Dems, but it's imaginable that they could, this time, be crappy towards Gops, who generally deserve it more. The point is, enjoy it now, and maybe you'll get to enjoy it then too! Donald K. Trump is unbelievably smart, strong, kind, and honest, but mostly unbelievable. No one believes that he'll give them $5000, and everyone is correct that he won't. Trump will remain unbelievable and things will get worse over the next few weeks, which isn't really good news for anybody. The one word voters use to describe Trump is "corrupt", but in the Trump administration there's plenty of corruption to go around. Look at Kimberly Guilfoyle… not directly of course, but you can look at plenty of corruption around her as she plies many mystery men with many side hustles for much money… and it now looks as if Kim has stepped on a few toes. Susan Collins has made a career out of not stepping on toes, which makes her the worst.

Kagro in the Morning - October 7, 2026 Oct 07, 2026

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David Waldman keeps waking up with computer problems that he previously solved yet can't remember how. Henceforth, future tech solutions will be tattooed somewhere on his body. Greg Dworkin rounded up the punditry and the polls. The polls show voters heading towards to the blue everywhere, no matter how red. Where it's blue the lead grows past double digits. Meanwhile, Red regret soars. Texans might vote to tar and feather Bo French. Dems are outpacing the rigging. Gops have a whole lot of money, but only dopes to spend it on. Susan Collins is going to prove she can too eat road salt. Tom Barrett will have to eat a few data centers. You cannot prove that Zach Lahn did not live in Iowa. If you won't let them buy elections, Republicans will just be forced to steal them. Cleta Mitchell and Tina Peters are getting the gang together for another heist, while the administration picks off the guards. Voters might not want data centers, but Donald K. Trump can think of a billion reasons to keep them, the first of which is that he needs one to make his legs work. Trump needs another to figure out how to make everything Trump and how to keep everything Trump… and to make you pay for it. Trump mows down trees as old as the Constitution. Umar Kremlev received your check paying him for Don Jr.'s wedding, thank you. CBS remembered that Denny Hastert covered up sexual abuse, but so far has forgotten about his child raping. Megyn Kelly believes the Roger Ailes was too gentle with her.

Kagro in the Morning - October 6, 2026 Oct 06, 2026

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David Waldman does it again! We will continue until we address all news stories and read all words. Praise the Lord! Denny Hastert yesterday, Jim Bakker today. Voting/prayer lines are jammed for tomorrow's third pick. Donald K. Trump suggested letting Iran "Take Out" Los Angeles and San Diego, and he did not mean on a date. He called Senate candidate, mother of 3, Annie Andrews, "trannie." Stay on the line to get your vote in for tomorrow! Trump can mess with the midterms in ways that are idiotic, ineffectual and illegal… and therefore irresistible. Ed Martin, Tina Peters, and Cleta Mitchell are only some of the brain trust being called to tackle reality in the remaining days. Could an "AI" Trump replace today's "SI" (stupid ignoramus) Trump? Why not? It already operates his legs. Although voters would probably accept a majority AI SCOTUS first… a predictive Alito model would be a cinch to engineer. Trump is sending checks filled with lies to bribe swing voters. That's all paid by taxpayers, but his pro-Donald ads are now paid with MAGA money. Brazil locked up their Trump clone, Jair Bolsonaro, for 28 years, but now his clone/son Flávio is running for president, supported/rigged with your taxpayer money

Kagro in the Morning - October 5, 2026 Oct 05, 2026

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David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are back! Actually, we only turn the microphones on weekdays, they talk continuously. Almost any way you look at it, a blue wave… could… be coming. Trump voters are already beginning to forget that they were Trump voters. Donald K. Trump's popularity is at an historic low, because he is an awful president, and an awful person. You know what's even better than winning polls? Winning elections! And we have some right around the corner. Kansas Gops could lose for the first time in 94 years. You'd hope that Trump Disapprovers wouldn't vote Republican, but really deplorable ones still might. Vivek Ramaswamy fumbled a child at the 10-yard line yet still has a lot of money. Susan Collins has 99 concerns, but money isn't one of hers either. Trump has been honing his rigging skills in Brazil in preparation for this month. New assistant press secretary Beni Rae Harmony has all of the credentials that you would expect to work for Trump and then some. Ken Paxton is even a bad puppet. Dennis Hastert is no longer alive but remains disgraced. Denny spent his entire career disgracing himself. Ken Paxton would have given him 60 days. Country singer Alexis Wilkins loves Kash, but enough to wait for parole? The Baltic States prepare for war as the US retreats from Iran, anywhere Iran might be. Kristi Noem's Homeland Security Department bought five aircraft for the price of a dozen from a donor. Noem believes the New York Times just wants to cause her trouble, as her Ex was the only one who wanted to see her screwed this often.

Kagro in the Morning - October 2, 2026 Oct 02, 2026

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David Waldman ends the week and kicks off the first weekend of October and its October surprises. Money to go to Europe and Ukraine gets shuffled to Latin America. Money from the Minority Health Office gets shuffled off to RFK Jr. Everyday, Trump's shuffling money to his crew but also starving out anything that angers or bores him through pocket rescissions. Wait, pocket rescissions aren't allowed, right? Well, you thought that, but you were pre-wrong and just didn't know it. The DOJ is coming to the rescue of Richard Nixon, pre-wronging generations of history books. Trump Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle has judged herself to be pre-wrong. The judge on Olympian vs. Reflecting Pool has difficulty finding anyone guilty before any crime was committed. Another judge is keeping Trump from his prewrongative of firing US Attorneys who aren't his shills. Famously bait-able Donald K. Trump laid plenty of groundwork for Jack Smith, and the work they created together should be released to the public. Donald has been rolling up the miles on his Natalie Harp, and is already beginning to look at trade-ins. Eric Schmitt couldn't resist any conspiracy theory that would boost his profile. Amy Klobuchar was aware of that. John Roberts wanted to take his bubble with him on vacation but those aren't allowed at a rage retreat.

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