Kagro in the Morning

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Kagro in the Morning - October 1, 2026 Oct 01, 2026

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David Waldman and Greg Dworkin kick off the KITM Octoberfest. "The outlook is good.", say pollsters who rarely, if ever, use a Magic 8 Ball. Republicans now have a 27% chance of holding the Senate. They have a 1 out of 100 chance of winning the House. Don't say they didn't warn you. For instance, the national bellwether race in the state of Virginia has a Democrat on a narrow edge. So does the battleground New York House contest. Texas is still red… but so tantalizingly close… so inviting to drop some cash now for 2028. Bulletin: Most blame Donald K. Trump for higher prices and are unhappy with how he is handling the economy. Trump blames himself for his awful Supreme Court. And for not banning all journalism and just hiring an ad agency. He told you he had a gun! But did you listen? Most likely, we'll have some sort of midterms though, and Republicans are pretty certain to lose, and pretty certain that they will lose. In Texas, many are voting for a change of face, many because they actually like James Talarico as much as they hate Trump. Many are voting against Ken Paxton, although drowning him would be fine. Gina Hinojosa is doing well with those who ran out of excuses for their education system. Bobby Pulido really makes Quinceañeras great again. Susan Collins probably can't sing but can't do commercials well either. Sherrod Brown really can't sing but knows how to do a commercial. Republicans discovered that there are fewer rich voters than poor voters, so how does 38¢ off a gallon of gas sound, hm? Meanwhile, as the administration makes orphanages and asylums great again, Todd Blanche wants to lock Minnesota's federal district judges up, and Kash Patel wants to tie naughty sheep down.

Kagro in the Morning - September 30, 2026 Sep 30, 2026

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At least David Waldman can prove where he was this morning. Eric Schmidt was hoist with his own Jack Smith petard the moment that we all discovered, in real time, his very own conspiracy theory was 100% Schmidt. And to think Eric was so close to the big time too! Greg Dworkin hauls in a huge Raft O' Stories™, chock full o' X crap™. Elon has had a tough time recently and we all need to pull together to help. Blue wave, maybe! Only one sure way to know, and it's not polls. Polling and results could end up in a similar place this time, though, mostly because Donald K. Trump sucks so much. Just ask Ken Paxton! Just ask Marjorie Taylor Greene! Just ask AI! ...right before it slits your throat. Of course, "AI" is no match for "SI", or the "Stupid Idiot" who spelled United States wrong in an executive order. Venezuela has spent a decade trying to please Trump and look at what it got them. A federal judge last week ordered the Trump administration to "immediately" notify her if it plans to release federal voter eligibility lists, and now they have to plan something worse. Pete Hegseth will keep firing generals until the armed forces looks completely fabulous. If you are into cuckolds, cosplay, and cages, this is your lucky day!

Kagro in the Morning - September 29, 2026 Sep 29, 2026

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David Waldman weaves a fine tapestry of stupid news for us today. Donald K. Trump wants more money, more bribes, more gold. "To the victor go the spoils" is the key message of the Constitution, and the Bible, as far as he's concerned. Trump had a pile of Venezuelan gold at his feet before the bodies were cold. Amazingly, few refiners are interested in Blood Gold, even though that's been the Venezuelan currency with the US for the last decade. Six or more prosecutors have quit the Trump Grand Conspiracy case being run by Aileen Cannon. A prosecutor also quit on an investigation into former C.I.A. director John O. Brennan. There are still plenty attempting to weaponize government, however. Cassidy Hutchinson feels the intimidation. A group called ShinyHunters hacked into the FBI, gaining personal info on tens of thousands of employees. The FBI hasn't caught any of them, because they aren't that good. Why worry? Not all of them could be into bestiality… Why would Artificial Intelligence… excuse me, Super Intelligence, even bother with instantly killing us all when it's so fun to just troll everyone?

Kagro in the Morning - September 28, 2026 Sep 28, 2026

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On today's KITM, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin count down the days until the midterm elections and determine that there are altogether too many of them. Are Democrats going to win the midterms? Who knows! If you were to poll polls, they would tell you that they like "Democrats", and that they really do not like "Republicans". That, and several bucks, will buy you a cup of coffee. We do seem to have a blue wave and a red undertow in those polls. The primaries portend well. Early voting is happening a lot. All that probably means many things, much of which will become clearer in retrospect. In New Jersey's 7th congressional district, home of Kean University and future former home of Tim Kean, Kean's incumbency and red district don't look like they'll save him. Maine voters might end up term limiting Susan Collins to five terms. In Texas, John Cornyn isn't going to even bother with Ken Paxton. Ohio has been falling into a red sinkhole for decades, but the data centers issue might actually lift it out. Even lifelong Republican John Fetterman says it's entirely possible that Democrats take back the Senate. As usual, most of the credit has got to go to Donald K. Trump, the least wily of all super-geniuses in world history. Victory in Venezuela, and that dotard still can't keep from spoiling all of his spoils. AI might not be as smart as Trump, but it can FUBAR a million times faster. Meanwhile, Stephen Miller is living the life he deserves, hiding in fear. Miller might not be in danger every moment of every day, but as long as he feels that way, it's okay.

Kagro in the Morning - September 25, 2026 Sep 25, 2026

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Well, David Waldman tumbled out of bed and stumbled to the studio/kitchen, poured himself a cup of ambition, yawned and stretched and tried to come to life… results might have been mixed, but KITM only goes 9 to 11, then there's the weekend! Markwayne Mullin, unmarried, has had a long-term live-in relationship with Missouri Gop Jason Smith. One thing is certain. Markwayne Mullin is a moron. White House press pool members have regained access… no they haven't… maybe they have… bet they sure feel owned by now! Private security guards will be watching Postal Police officers watching Postal Union members whose jobs are being replaced by AI. Trump hasn't yet replaced all voters with AI, so he plans to send a couple thousand federal agents to breathe on any human voters who might want to vote wrong. Trump goons aren't just watching you, as snitching on each other pays off even more. Don't worry, Donald K. Trump Jr. will pay back Umar Kremlev somehow. Russians do accept all forms of payment. Maintenance projects have been put off around the country and rerouted to more important Trump things. There will always be money to pay for upkeep later, and even more if he never pays.

Kagro in the Morning - September 24, 2026 Sep 24, 2026

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David Waldman is here to distract us from the distractions with some important stuff. Greg Dworkin has all the latest pole news and as you'd expect Donald K. Trump is coming up way short, but today we're talking microscopic. Trump is dragging the party so low that even Susan Collins is in concerning territory. Even Graham Platner is looking pretty Teflon. Gops might be idiots, but they aren't stupid, as they panic about importing beef and exporting diesel. Any Gop in a +15 district is treading water. Trump is W, but less affably asinine. Democrats are playing this like it's 2006. Democrats just can't wait to make it happen either. Republicans are not as enthusiastic. Trump made the US government into his PAC. MAGA podcasters just don't recall this "Trump" fellow… they pose for pictures with a lot of people, you know. Pollsters are usually wrong, but even Trump can't sue them. Donald hoped to have a few press heads on pikes to show off to Xi but he apparently appointed a TDS woke judge who told him he couldn't do that yet. That judge can't make him obey, though, or maybe he can… Anyhow it's another Trump PR victory, and if it isn't, it's JD's fault. "Why do ICE forget to wear or turn on their bodycams?", should be asked by a judge… especially Judge Brett Kavanaugh. A Massachusetts Lesbian bar almost lifted its KN-95 requirement, but patrons really wanted to keep them on. UPS dropped some F-35 stealth fighter parts off at the wrong doorstep in China.

Kagro in the Morning - September 23, 2026 Sep 23, 2026

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Greg Dworkin is back, and so is the Abbreviated Pundit Roundup! We tried to abbreviate it even more today, but only partially succeeded. How bad are things getting out there for Republicans? Bad enough that Karl Rove gives me a run for my money with his own Dotard J. Trump impression. Seriously, though. How bad are things getting? Pretty bad! Trump is at another new approve/disapprove low. Not even their usual last minute TV blitz strategy is expected to save them now. Not with early voters. Not in Michigan. Not in Iowa. Not in (certain parts of) Texas. And not in the northern border states, either. And individual candidates are having to find ways to distance themselves from Trump's cratering. Some perhaps more subtle than others. (But that could change!) Oh, and while we're in Maine (because the last sentence was about Maine), have you heard about the Susan Collins corruption scandal? You have, but there's no reason we can't mention it again. Trump's construction and cultural appropriation spree in Washington continues, now expanding to [checks notes...] Ford's Theater. Unsurprisingly, it does so in defiance of local and national building and safety codes, because "I am the code." Hey, you know who else had an "architecture" fetish? We love a good hidden logistics story on this show. And Trump's latest press ban has developed into one! All in all, it was another humdinger of a day for rounding up lunacy and embarrassments. Hell, we didn't even get to Trump's crazy ass speech to the UN!

Kagro in the Morning - September 22, 2026 Sep 22, 2026

Show notes

Shofar so good! David Waldman topped up his atonement over the weekend and returned today, set to talk about lascivious corruption. Lauren Boebert is always ready to lend a hand with a scandal or two or three… several at a time when she's in the mood. Now there's a complaint filed with the U.S. House Committee on Ethics alleging that Boebert had romantic and sexual relationships with three staff members under her direct supervision, paid them to keep quiet, bare-knuckle brawled in bars with them, and then hooked them up with… Matt Gaetz… in Mar-a-Lago. Somewhere, Kyrsten Sinema is blushing. Similarly, Susan Collins... perhaps not "similarly" but we won't be finding that out for certain, now that the FBI has been called off her case. Martin Kao, formally from Martin Defense Group, which was formerly Navatek, might be wondering if his pardon was lost in the mail. Clavicular continues to lay the groundwork for his presidential bid. All-powerful puppet of the last person that he talked to, Donald K. Trump recently banished the free press, but already pines for them, photobombing Zohran Mamdani in New York, while Melania slipped off for a little on the side. Bill Clinton and Barack Obama are semi-privately dismayed.

Kagro in the Morning "Encore Performance" - September 22, 2025, airing September 21, 2026 Sep 21, 2026

Show notes

The vagaries of the lunar calendar has given us a second September Monday away from the microphone, dropping Yom Kippur right at the start of this week. So we'll have to go with a rerun today. I have to begin by asking, "Do you remember the 21st night of September?" Because if you don't, then our September 22, 2025 episode should remind you: David Waldman and Greg Dworkin are out tomorrow for a little R&R… Rosh Hashanah and Rapture. Depending on how that goes, they'll be back on Wednesday! "Autism" was coined in 1911. Acetaminophen was marketed 40 years later. Tylenol hit the market in 1955, one year after RFK Jr. was born... COINCIDENCE? Yes. Just another of the many coincidences that you can point to, that did not cause your child's autism. Not coincidentally, RFK Jr. stock is dropping about as fast as Tylenol's. Jimmy Kimmel is saved by a TACO. Charlie Kirk, meanwhile, is still dead. Not officially a saint, but definitely a martyr for whatever cause a MAGA could imagine. Charlie was a man of steel, just one tiny bit less bullet resistant than Trump but with a heart of gold that Donald will gladly sell to the highest bidder. Trad wife no more, Nepo/DEI hire Erika Kirk discovers that Tyler Robinson was not black, a Dem, a woman or even antifa, so of course she forgives him. Nürnberg vibes filled the air as DJ Stephen Miller spun the hits of yesteryear. Shhh… Donald K. Trump wants the government to destroy his opposition. Well, that's no secret. Trump has wanted that for years. What are you going to do about it, impeach him? ICE breaks present laws and will break any new ones that you throw at them too. Attorneys that don't break laws fast enough get canned in this administration. Don't you just hate Indians and Koreans? No? Maybe you aren't a tech bro. Tech bros hate Indians and Koreans. If there's a particular nationality that you do hate, there's probably a spot for you in this administration. Republicans are beginning to get sick of winning. There's no denying the Trump administration's obsessive attention to detail, at least when it comes to Hollywood-level casting of their cabinet members. Dirty cop Tom Homan should think before ordering the veal or accepting sacks of cash from FBI agents. Good thing he has friends higher up. The US vaporized some more boaters in the Caribbean that they suspect of things. Suspects remain suspects after they are vaporized. Trump suggests that people should hold off on "water fishing" for the time being… maybe take up "fly fishing?"

Kagro in the Morning - September 18, 2026 Sep 18, 2026

Show notes

David Waldman needs some reeeeeeeest! He and we are tired. Sick and tired of winning. David won't be with us for his two favorite holidays, Talk Like a Pirate Day and Yom Kippur, but we are almost certain to return next Tuesday reinvigorated. NASA's Goddard Space Flight Center saved money by throwing out billions of dollars of research, the researchers, and having their unique, specialized equipment auctioned off. DOGE cost-cutting efforts cost the US billions of dollars and millions of lives, and that's just the start. Donald K. Trump will make the US trillions by not buying anything anymore. The Kennedy Center might avoid the shame of having Trump's name carved into it… by being demolished… but even in death the U.S. Institute of Peace's building might not evade desecration. Far-right ideologues have transformed American foreign policy into a tool of private gain and antidemocratic reaction, but once Trump teaches AI to grift for him, he won't need any of them anymore.

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