Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Latest Episodes:

Eps 514: A messy conversation about screens, limits and life skill development Sep 11, 2024

Show notes

Screens!! I know - will we ever get to a place of NOT needing to talk about screens?? Today's episode is a messy exploration of the subtle ways kids are pulled into their relationship with screens, and the importance of developing life skills WHILE providing guardrails for keeping our kids safe. Plus, an invitation to take an honest look at how OUR use is adding to the messaging our kids are getting... Did I mention this is messy? It is. Listen in and let me know what you think.

See all show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-514-a-messy-conversation-about-screens-limits-and-life-skill-development/

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Eps 513: Growing our teen’s awareness around sexism with Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein Sep 09, 2024

Show notes

My guest today is Dr. Jo-Ann Finkelstein and we’re talking about sexism and our daughters.

Dr. Finkelstein kicks us off by sharing how a pink hockey stick impacted her childhood and inspired her to speak about sexism & gender bias. I ask what intergenerational transmission of sexism is, and Dr. Finkelstein helps me deconstruct an incident I had with Ronan about how she was dressing in 8th grade.

We ponder on how we can raise strong women in a patriarchal society that can be violent towards women without victimizing our girls or instilling fear and how to navigate bodily autonomy in a world where their bodies sometimes are not safe and don’t feel like their own. It’s you and your daughter against the unfairness of the patriarchy & the culture, not each other!

I ask Dr. Finkelstein what messaging young girls are receiving from media & pop culture right now, how we can teach & encourage young women to stand up for themselves & feel empowered without putting themselves in danger, and how we can have meaningful conversations with them men & boys in our life about sexism & patriarchy.

Takeaways from the show

The intergenerational transmission of sexism
The “battle” between moms & daughters about clothing
How do we raise strong women in a patriarchal society that can be violent towards women without victimizing our girls?
People get harassed (and worse) regardless of what they wear
Fostering a healthy sense of entitlement in young women
What messages are girls and young women receiving from pop culture and media right now?
Raising boys who are sensitive to sexism and male privilege

For more show notes, including transcripts, please visit our website here.

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Eps 512: Trusting our teen's development Sep 05, 2024

Show notes

I am back with a brand new solo show! I loved my convo with Dr. Tina Bryson (Eps 511) and was inspired to go deeper into trusting our teen’s development. This show goes into what is happening in the teen brain and how to work WITH our kids to promote relationship and autonomy over time. Enjoy!

Find full show notes and information about our sponsors at: www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-512-trusting-our-teens-development

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Eps 511: Avoiding fear-based parenting with Dr. Tina Bryson Sep 02, 2024

Show notes

Dr. Tina Bryson is BACK today! I love her work, and I’m so excited she’s here to talk about launching our teens, which is incredibly timely after I dropped my youngest child off at college yesterday!

Dr. Bryson shares her wisdom on avoiding fear-based parenting & reminds us that development & maturation happens no matter what - maybe we don’t need to worry quite so much. She explains what the “right” amount of support is and why kids need to make mistakes & take risks to become wiser and more responsible. Dr. Bryson shares her own personal stories about launching two of her teens to college and how & why they were so different.

Dr. Bryson wraps us up by giving dos & don'ts for when your adolescent is in distress. We want to problem solve, criticize, or minimize, but instead, we can respond in a way that invites them to keep sharing things with us: by offering empathy & letting them solve their own problem.

Takeaways from the show

How do you know when & what you need to really worry about regarding your child(ren)? When are you wasting energy?
Avoiding fear-based parenting
Kids have to make mistakes & take risks in service of becoming wiser and more responsible
“The way our children build resilience is through adversity with the right amount of support from us”
Not burdening our teens with our feelings
The excitement & hopes we have for our adolescents and the grief & anxiety we have when they leave
How to respond (and how not to respond) when your adolescent reaches out to you in distress
We’re not launching full formed adults - we’re launching baby adults who will keep learning & developing

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Summer throwback - Eps 460: Get past resistance and focus on relationship with your teen Aug 29, 2024

Show notes

This show was a no-brainer to reshare with you all. When I recorded it, I was so fired up, and had our boys on the brain. So many of my clients and people in the community struggle with their boys. Not only struggling with their boys, but struggling to soften to the idea that the hard time the family is moving through is really a call for deeper relationship. Listen in to hear more – and don’t worry, no matter the gender your child identifies as, you will still find value in this conversation.

For more info on our sponsors and show notes, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-460-get-past-your-resistance-and-focus-on-relationship-with-your-teen/

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Eps 510: Somatic tools for our nervous system with Katie Connolly Aug 26, 2024

Show notes

Katie Connolly, a Somatic Parenting Coach, teaches me a whole lot about our nervous system and somatic tools when she drops by this week.

Katie explains how our nervous system and birthing experiences tie-in to our personal growth, who highly-sensitive people are & indicators, and why we’re able to better navigate experiences and stay connected in our bodies when we nourish our nervous system. We hit on so much this week: breathing exercises, meditation, scheduling-in time for ourselves, overstimulation, trauma, adoption, boundaries, co-regulation, and more. Katie ends by sharing specific tools and breathing patterns to try out at home.

Takeaways from the show

Understanding & supporting our nervous system and how that fits in with self-growth
Traumatic birthing experiences
Sympathetic nervous system versus parasympathetic nervous system
Each parent-child relationship is completely unique
Highly-sensitive people & indicators
Everyone has trauma in their lineage
Different breathing exercises & patterns
Short meditations
Nourishing & making time for yourself realistically
Co-regulation & the family nervous system

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Summer throwback - Eps 434: Navigating challenges while also having faith in our teens Aug 22, 2024

Show notes

This summer throwback revisits how parenting teens keeps coming back to owning our own sh@t. This is the juicy spot. This is where the real transformational space of parenting exists. This is where we get to nurture AN ENVIRONMENT that is safe for our kids to step into. This is where we can start to dismantle the walls that have been built over time and make room for connection.

Find more show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-434-navigating-challenges-while-having-faith-in-teens/

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Eps 509: How to discuss fake news with teens with Alex Edmans Aug 19, 2024

Show notes

My guest today is Alex Edmans, and we’re hitting a super important topic this week: how to discuss fake news and social media with our teens.

Alex starts by explaining the difference between Level 1 and Level 2 of Fake News, and I ask what to do (and why) our teens bring up conspiracy theories. I ask Alex how we can nurture adolescents to fine tune their questioning, look for expertise, and teach them to look for peoples’ incentives while they’re consuming social media without making them feel defensive.

Later we talk about sextortion. How can we keep our teens from falling for scams, when their teenage brains are certain they’d never fall for one? Alex ends on a happy, hopeful note and shares an easy strategy to challenge your own confirmation biases.

Takeaways from the show

Level 1 fake news (provably false statements) versus Level 2 fake news (factually correct but misleading)
What to say when our teens bring up conspiracy theories
Why do people share fake news?
Teaching teens to be discerning & leverage their own knowledge
Asking yourself: What is the incentive this person has to post this? Are they an expert?
Sextortion - anyone can be scammed online
Teens absolutely must believe they can come to you in an “oh shit” moment
How discerning are you on your social media?

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Summer Throwback - Eps 424: When it feels like your teen is holding you hostage Aug 15, 2024

Show notes

A powerful relisten!!! You have a great relationship with your teen and they are STILL getting into ALL the mischief? You aren't alone. In this episode, I tease this apart and remind you what the most important thing to consider is.

See all the show notes and info about our sponsors at https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-424-when-it-feels-like-your-teen-is-holding-you-hostage/

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Eps 508: Raising neurodivergent teens with Dr. Matt Zakreski Aug 12, 2024

Show notes

My guest today is Dr. Matt Zakreski, an expert on neurodivergency with an eclectic approach. Dr. Matt tells me about growing up as a twice-exceptional kid himself and what he’s seeing with the teens he works with now.

I ask Dr. Matt what parents can do about the emotional intensity that comes with raising teens, especially neurodivergent teens. He reminds us that “emotions can’t be wrong,” and you know I loved it when Dr. Matt reminds us to get curious about our teen’s feelings.

Dr. Matt brings up perfectionism and why we might see more rigidity & anxiety spike during stressful times. We dig into trapdoor perfectionism, how we can invite kids to accept coaching, help, & practice when they’re resistant, and handing over energetic responsibility.

Takeaways from the show

The Performance Cliff
Asynchronous development & high emotional intensity
Raising neurodivergent kids with neurotypical siblings
Neurodivergent behavior versus typical teen behavior
“Emotions can’t be wrong”
You don’t have to understand to show up well
3 directions of perfectionism
Should = could + shame
Trapdoor perfectionism
Validating our teens gives them permission to show up authentically as themselves
Kids do as well as they can with the tools they have in that moment

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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