Joyful Courage for Parenting Teens

Latest Episodes:

Summer throwback - Eps 386: Limiting beliefs and our two selves Aug 08, 2024

Show notes

Today's summer throwback is another intimate exploration of what it means to be human WHILE raising teenagers. We are deep diving (yet again) into our own stuff. This week focusing on the limiting beliefs we may be holding that keeps our kids small, and the war between our two selves. Join me for some personal growth and discovery!

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Eps 507: Understanding “failure to launch” with Dr. Bianca Busch Aug 05, 2024

Show notes

My guest today is Dr. Bianca Busch, and we’re getting into the “failure to launch” or the stalling we see from some young adults. Dr. Busch shares what drew her to working with college students, and we talk about getting “cut off” from your child’s medical, mental health, and grade information once they turn 18. Dr. Busch shares the benefits of psychiatrists working with adolescents and parents in conjunction.

I ask Dr. Busch what she sees when young adults and their parents feel stuck - anxiety, depression, mismatched expectations - there’s a lot playing in here, and it’s messy. Dr. Busch shares some tools, boundaries, & motivators, and I play with the idea of mismatched timelines. I ask what parents can do when they feel scared and what we can do when we recognize that our behaviors and beliefs are the problem and for signs that our adolescent might need more substantial help & support. We end on a happy note - celebrating our hard work in parenting, even when it doesn’t look exactly how we expected it to turn out.

Takeaways from the show

Getting cut off from medical & mental health information once your child turns 18
The acceleration & benefits of when psychiatrists are able to work with adolescents and their parents
Is “failure to launch” a fair expression? Why are young adults stalled out?
Mismatched expectations & goals between young adults & parents
There’s no young adults who don’t want to launch; we have to discover what’s in their way
When you know your child needs support, but they’re resistant
The difference between “get your shit together” and a child whose safety is at risk
Motivational interviewing & coming from a place of compassion
Digging in and challenging our own beliefs and being open-minded to hearing our adolescents goals, ideas, & plans
Signs your young adult might need additional outside support
Give yourself grace! Celebrate the parenting work you have done!

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Summer throwback - Eps 361: Finding the courage to parent our teens differently Aug 01, 2024

Show notes

This throwback solo show takes a closer look at how parenting with Positive Discipline does NOT equal avoiding the hard stuff, instead, it is about leaning into relationship WHEN the hard stuff shows up. Being brave is something we are invited into over and over again as we parent through the seasons of adolescence. Listen in as I explore what that looks like internally, as well as externally.

Find more show notes and info about sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-361-finding-courage-parent-teens-differently/

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Eps 506: Navigating grief that can show up during the teen years with Sascha Demerjian Jul 29, 2024

Show notes

It’s a tough topic this week - parental grief. Sascha Demerjian is here from The Grief House and beautifully intertwines personal stories with information.

We don’t only grieve for people that we’ve lost. Sascha explains that we also grieve for expectations, narratives, & ideas - sometimes beliefs we didn’t even realize we were holding. We talk about how meaningful it is to have somewhere safe for the messiness of grieving and how we can resist wanting to jump in and fix things when others are hurting. It comes back to trusting the process. Remember that when our adolescents “launch,” they aren’t done growing & learning - they keep growing all through adulthood, just like we do. Grief doesn’t end, but bringing it to light & sharing with a community makes a big difference.

Takeaways from the show

We get to witness our teens’ stories & narratives, not create them
Letting go of some beliefs in favor of a better relationship
We grieve for ideas & expectations, not just people we lose
Holding deep faith & trust that our adolescent’s lives are going to unfold just the way they are supposed to
“Don’t make it worse”
Working through your grief & worries with a therapist
Enabling vs. empowering
Grief doesn’t end
Bringing things out to the light & the power of community

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Summer Throwback - Eps 357: Radical moves for parenting Gen Z Jul 25, 2024

Show notes

Today's Throwback episode highlights shifting our thinking about how we are showing up for Gen Z and why this is crucial as we move through the adolescent years with our kids. I share three essential tools for making this shift in a way that strengthens relationship and provides space for our kids to discover who they’re meant to be.

Find all the show notes and info about our sponsors at: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-357-radical-moves-for-parenting-gen-z/

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Eps 505: Parenting with Empathy vs Codependency with Susie Pettit Jul 22, 2024

Show notes

My guest today is Susie Pettit. Grab some popcorn for this one! Susie helps people with boundaries, codependency, emotional intelligence, and people-pleasing using a lifetime of experience, and today she’s here to talk about her awesome parenting tool.

You know one of my favorite mantras is “Fiercely committed, lovingly detached.” We’re good at the fiercely committed part of parenting, but the detachment part is hard! It’s hard to be with our kids when tough things are happening to them, and the urge to rescue doesn’t go away, but we have to let them make mistakes & learn. I ask Susie when we cross the line from empathy to codependency, and we agree on how important it is to trust the process & believe that everything’s going to be alright.

Takeaways from the show

“Fiercely committed, lovingly detached”
Responding with empathy instead of codependency
Mom guilt is a waste of brain power
Detached means we respond differently, not that we don’t respond at all
Doing things for our kids sends the message that we don’t think they can do it
Empathy versus codependency
“Popcorn parenting”
Trusting the process
Follow the “what if” all the way

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Summer throwback - Eps 329: Being with what's coming up for your teen Jul 18, 2024

Show notes

This week's throwback is a reminder that we get to show up for our teens in a way that is helpful, not hurtful. They are navigating all the things and they need to know that we see them, they need to be believed and to experience validation around what is real for them.

For more show notes go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-329-being-with-whats-coming-up-for-your-teen/

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Eps 504: Teaching teens self-regulation with screens with Devorah Heitner Jul 15, 2024

Show notes

Devorah Heitner is a new friend from The Zen Parenting Conference. I really appreciated what she had to say about doing more mentoring and less monitoring with our kids and their screens. This feels like a really hard time to be raising teens and dealing with all the tech. Cutting off access to technology isn’t reasonable, so how can we engage with our teens about how they use tech? How can we resist over-monitoring with school portals and Find my iPhone at our disposal? How can we teach teens self-regulation with their own screen time?

Devorah shares ways we can help our adolescents notice how tech makes them feel so they can better self-regulate. She shares thoughts on the difference between a mistake and a chronic problem, seeing our kid’s posts, and what she’s hearing from teens about their experience right now. We discuss how we can make sure our kids know we’re really there for them when things go wrong, when kids want to be influencers, and how to manage it if we find our teens are doing harm online.

Takeaways from the show

Devorah’s New Book: “Growing Up in Public: Coming of Age in a Digital World”
Technology is how teens connect with their friends and peers
Sharing your own experiences online
Tracking your teen’s location via their phone - more or less stress?
Having conversations, not lectures
Even though we know technology, our teens grew up with it in an entirely different way & they think we’re clueless
It’s good that adolescents do brave, scary, & hard things (even when they scare us) - otherwise they’d never try anything
Kids who want to be influencers, YouTubers, & go viral
What to do if your kid is being harmed or harming others online
Being open & curious about your teen’s world & resisting assumptions

For more details, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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Summer throwback - Eps 309: Paradox, Parenting, Pot Smoking Jul 11, 2024

Show notes

Back for another relisten - this is one I send to people regularly! Appreciating you tuning back in. And even if pot smoking isn't a challenge that is currently in your household, be sure that there are tons of nuggets in this episode for you to be taking away and integrate into your parenting.

For full show notes and info about our sponsors, go to: https://www.besproutable.com/podcasts/eps-309-solo-show-paradox-parenting-pot-smoking/

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Eps 503: Examining Whiteness in Parent Education with Yolanda Williams Jul 08, 2024

Show notes

My guest today is my returning friend, Yolanda Williams! We’re getting a little meta this week as we focus on what white parent educators can be doing better, but believe me, this episode is full of great content for all parents.

After catching-up on how Yolanda, Parenting Decolonized, and her daughter are doing, Yolanda jumps in and explains who takes on the emotional, physical, and spiritual labor of what’s going on in our world and why it’s such a huge deal for white parent educators to choose silence in order to not offend their clients. The labor, racism, and speaking out about hot topics that parent educators who are people of color are doing take so much time and effort that white parent educators may not even think of. I get vulnerable with Yolanda and ask about what I can do when I feel uninformed and uncomfortable about topics that I know are important to call out (spoiler: you don’t need to have all the answers to start speaking out). I ask Yolanda specifically what I can do to make Joyful Courage a more equitable podcast & platform and what I can be teaching new, fresh parent educators.

Takeaways from the show

The roots of traditional parenting in our country is uncomfortable and rooted in racism, sexism, & capitalism
What’s the responsibility of white parent educators around race? Where can we grow? What’s completely missing?
Who is taking on the spiritual, physical, and emotional labor of what’s going on in the world right now?
How can we weigh in and stand-up for people when we don’t know or understand enough information to feel confident about doing so?
Asking yourself what you’re scared of that’s keeping you from speaking out? Sit with it, and do it anyway
Centering what our most marginalized children need - everything that they need to be liberated will liberate us, too
Using media as a starting point for these conversations

For more show notes, including transcripts, visit our website here.

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