IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

Mental Health vs Mental Illness vs Mental Disorder

Lots of people use the terms "mental health," "mental illness," and "mental disorder" interchangeably.

For me, mental health and mental illness refer to two different things.

For me, Mental Health refers to:

Mental and emotional well being.
The ability to be aware of one's thoughts, feelings, and how they relate to their actions.
The ability to process thoughts and emotions, both positive and negative or large and small.
It's the ability to problem solve and overcome struggles and challenges.

On the other hand, Mental Illness and Mental Disorders refer more to diagnoses like:

Depression
ADD/ADHD
Bipolar, Identity, and Personality disorders,
Eating disorders
PTSD
Sevier Anxiety
Schizophrenia

Mental Health and Emotional Health Go Hand in Hand

We talked about mental health earlier. Let's take a minute and talk about Emotional Health.

For me, Emotional Health is the ability to experience any and ALL emotions, good or bad, negative or positive, happy or sad, from one extreme to the other. In addition to being able to experience these emotions, it's also important to be able to identify them, process them, and appreciate them.

I Focus on Improving Mental and Emotional HEALTH!

Again, I'm not a doctor, therapist, or counselor. I want to make that clear! But, we can all improve our mental & emotional health.

There's a misconception that only certain people can help others, especially teens, improve their mental health. Yes, this might apply to mental illness and disorders, but mental health is somethi

I can help you improve your mental health.

Everyone can improve their mental and emotional health in one area or another. And, like physical health, we have to power to do most of our own mental and emotional health work for ourselves, on our own.

Many times developing and bolstering our mental health is just a simple matter of changing how we think. Sometimes it's adding new routines and habits to our lives.

Call to ACTION!

January is the time to join my group coaching program!

I promise that this will help you become the parent of your dreams. You will develop the skills to be intentional, to turn struggles in to strengths, and to build a rock-solid relationship with your teen.

Plus, I'm joining forces with 3 other coaches to offer you the BEST parenting membership EVER!

The Doors Are Open! Become a Member of Firmly Founded Parents!

Do you want to become confident in your parenting?
Are you ready to stop power struggling with your teenager?
Do you just want help and support from other parents just like you?
Are you ready to build a rock-solid relationship with your teen?

You can achieve all of this and more by becoming a member of Firmly Founded Parents!
As a member, you'll get:

🔥 Exclusive trainings for parenting teens in 2021
📅2 LIVE Zoom Calls throughout the month with or certified coaches
🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Unlimited access to our community of like-minded parents
🏆 2 coaching sessions/month with our expert coaches
🎯 Learn ways to have a powerful impact on your teen's life
😎 Build unshakable confidence in yourself as a parent
🏗️ Build a rock-solid relationship with your teen
📚 Access to our growing library of resources

🤯 ONLY $97 A MONTH! 🤯

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.
Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today.

Being Resilient is Hard . . . and that's OK! Jan 07, 2021

Show notes

Why Is It SO Hard To Be Resilient?

It IS hard to be resilient, and it’s hard to develop resilience.

But, it’s not hard in an impossible bad way. It’s hard in a good empowering way.

Asking why it’s hard to develop resilience is like asking why it’s hard to bench press or lift weights. The answer is because it has to be hard. Lifting weights is supposed to be hard. If it wasn’t hard, you wouldn’t get stronger. As you get better, you intentionally make it harder by adding more and more weight. You are literally making it heavier and harder.

So, why is it so hard to develop resilience?

Because that is how it has to be. Struggle, hardship, discomfort, these are simply the price of becoming resilient. Think of resilience like bravery or courage. We all think that being brave and courageous is a good skill to have, right?

Well, is it possible to be brave without first being afraid? The answer is NO. There is no bravery without fear.

Similarly, there is no resilience without struggle. This is why it’s so hard to build resilience.

How To Help Your Teen.

It sounds harsh, but let them struggle. I’m not saying to pile it on and go out of your way to make their life miserable, just allow them to struggle, and let them know that they have your support.

It’s easy for parents to “catastrophize” things. Our teen gets an “F” in math, and as parents, we act like it’s the end of the world. Instead, we need to reassure them that, though we want them to get better grades, it's not the end of the world. Let them know that it’s okay to struggle.

Help your teen realize that it is the very act of struggling that makes us stronger. Help them realize that it’s no more than an opportunity to develop their resilience.

Mindset of Resilience

Your mindset makes all the difference. Whether you see your struggles as the end of the world or as an opportunity for growth depends on your mindset. You can make the decision to look for the growth, rather than focusing on all of the negative.

This means, when you get knocked down, not only do you get back up, but you find the positives of getting knocked down. You learn from it and you grow from it.

Even before you get knocked down, if you have a mindset of resilience, you know that getting knocked down is a possibility, you plan on it, and you plan on getting right back up.

Help your teens understand that we all know that we are going to struggle, so just plan on it. That way, when they get dumped or don’t get invited to the party, or they struggle with anxiety or depression, rather than being surprised and shocked by their struggle, they realize, “Okay, this is a struggle. This is part of the plan.”

Call to ACTION!

The Doors Are Open! Become a Member of Firmly Founded Parents!

You can achieve all of this and more by becoming a member of Firmly Founded Parents!
As a member, you'll get:

🔥 Exclusive trainings for parenting teens in 2021
📅2 LIVE Zoom Calls throughout the month with or certified coaches
🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Unlimited access to our community of like-minded parents
🏆 2 coaching sessions/month with our expert coaches
🎯 Learn ways to have a powerful impact on your teen's life
😎 Build unshakable confidence in yourself as a parent
🏗️ Build a rock-solid relationship with your teen
📚 Access to our growing library of resources

🤯 ONLY $97 A MONTH! 🤯

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

How to Shift your Mindset: Goal Setting Dec 31, 2020

Show notes

3 Simple Mindset Shifts
Desire vs Shame

Instead of letting shame drive your goals, try harnessing the power of desire. Instead of, "I need," or "I should," try . . .

"I WANT TO . . . !"

"I want to stop yelling at my teen."

"I want to appreciate my teen."

Can you feel the difference?

Rather than doing it out of shame, you're doing it for you, out of desire. When it comes to your goals or resolutions, drop the shame. Do it out of love. Do it out of desire for who you want to be.

This will be a powerful example for your teens. This will also help you change your mindset around what you and your teen "need" to do versus what you "want" them or you to do. This will help you drop the shame when parenting.

Who You Are vs What You Do

Who we are determines what we do. Focus on who you are or who you want to become.

Instead of focusing on what needs to be done, explore who you must be to do those things.

This will help you parent with a new perspective. Rather than focusing on what you've done "wrong," you can focus on who you've become. Rather than focusing on your teen's actions, you can better focus on who they are and who they are becoming.

Who you are is the driving force behind what you do. Be the person that you want to be.

Achieve more in 2021 by doing LESS!

Seems like everyone has a list of things that they want to do in the upcoming year.

There's one problem . . .

So, rather than focusing on all the new things that you want to do in 2021, rather than coming up with a list of "To Do's" try identifying the things that you want to stop doing this year.

What are some areas that take up the most time, energy, resources or money? What if you stopped eating out? How much money, time, and health would that save you?
Our time, energy, and resources are limited. When we try to achieve more by doing more, it often puts stress on one of those areas.

When we start freeing up time, energy, and resources, it empowers you to double your focus on the areas of your life that are most important.

Try it out this year. Here's some ideas that I've done less of in the past:

Stop arguing with others.
- I was able to save time and feel better towards others.
Stop focusing on the negative/problems/obstacles.
- This helped me be happier, empowered, and find the opportunities and the positives in the midst of the negative.

Call to ACTION!

Join my Parenting Membership

I'm joining forces with 3 other coaches to offer you the BEST parenting membership EVER!

The Doors Are Open! Become a Member of Firmly Founded Parents!

You can achieve all of this and more by becoming a member of Firmly Founded Parents!
You'll get:

🔥 Exclusive trainings for parenting teens in 2021
📅2 LIVE Zoom Calls throughout the month with or certified coaches
🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Unlimited access to our community of like-minded parents
🏆 2 coaching sessions/month with our expert coaches
🎯 Learn ways to have a powerful impact on your teen's life
😎 Build unshakable confidence in yourself as a parent
🏗️ Build a rock-solid relationship with your teen
📚 Access to our growing library of resources

🤯 ONLY $97 A MONTH! 🤯

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Christmas Gift! Dec 24, 2020

Show notes

Two Traditions, "Christmas Gift!" and Find the Lamb

My wife's family has a tradition.

Each Christmas, people try to be the first to greet one another by saying, "Christmas Gift!"

We try to sneak in to the house without being seen, just so we can catch someone unaware and "Christmas Gift" them.

It's a fun tradition that gets the whole family involved.

In my home we have a huge Christmas Village. There are 15 houses/buildings, 2 ponds with skaters, 2 bridges, a train, a nativity scene, and 1 lamb.

The tradition is that someone hides the lamb in the village, and everyone else tries to find it amongst all the distractions. It helps us remember the reason we celebrate Christmas.

A Christmas gift for YOU and your teen?

This Christmas, I want to invite you to give yourself a powerful Christmas gift! You will also give this gift to your teen, but I promise, you will benefit the most from it.

This gift has two daily exercises.

Exercise #1: For the next 7 days, spend a few minutes throughout the day looking for evidence that you are a great parent. Identify things that you think you are doing well. Identify things that you like about yourself. Remember to look for them throughout the day.

Then in the evening, write down a list of 10 things that you found that support the idea that you ARE a great parent.

Repeat this exercise every day for the next 7 days.

Exercise #2: For the next 7 days, spend a few minutes throughout the day looking for evidence that your teenager IS doing their best. Identify things that you think they are doing well. Identify things that you like about them. Remember to look for them throughout the day.

Then in the evening, write down a list of 10 things that you found that support the idea that your teenager IS doing their best.

Repeat this exercise every day for the next 7 days.

You find what you are looking for/You are where your focus is!

What you look for you will find. We've been conditioned to find the negative. Let's change that. Let's look for the positive.

This will change how you feel towards yourself!

This will change how you feel towards your teen.

How you feel towards your teen is a reflection/projection of how you feel about yourself.

This truly is the best gift you can give yourself this Christmas.
Call to ACTION!

Join my group coaching program if you'd like to dive deeper into gratitude and goals during the month of November. I promise that this will help you become the parent of your dreams.

The Doors Are Open! Become a Member of Parenting with Perspective!

You can achieve all of this and more by becoming a member of Parenting with Perspective!
As a member, you'll get:

🔥 Exclusive trainings for parenting teens in 2020
📅 4 LIVE Zoom Calls throughout the month
- Monthly training
- 2 times/month Q&A Zoom calls
- Monthly Guest Expert Call
🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Unlimited access to our community of like-minded parents
🏆 Access to our expert coaches
🎯 Learn ways to have a powerful impact on your teen's life
😎 Build unshakable confidence in yourself as a parent
🏗️ Build a rock-solid relationship with your teen
📚 Access to our growing library of resources

🤯 ONLY $57 A MONTH! 🤯

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Future Self Dec 16, 2020

Show notes

What is your future?

Your future-self only exists in your imagination.

Your future is not better than your present or your past.

Your future-self can be a guide and mentor. When we focus on our future, that focus can give us direction in the present and in difficult moments.

The better we get to know our future-self, the more we live in alignment with who we want to become.

Live from “What’s possible?”

Too many times we define ourselves by our past mistakes and struggles. It's much more powerful to define yourself by your potential and possibilities.

Your future-self is YOU! Your future-self is the combination of your past, present, and future.

Everything from your past is connected to your future.

You own your future. You get to create it exactly how you want it. You are the only person who knows what you want.

How to use your future-self as a mentor and guide!

We want to embrace the power of our future-self by exploring who we would be at the future point of our goals and dreams. What would we think, feel, and do?

By doing this, your future-self can become a guide and mentor in your present lives. You can receive direction and clarity from seeing what your dream future looks like and who you become.

One of the common pitfall that I see parents and their teens get caught in is letting their past mistakes and struggles define them. As parents, we do this to our teens. Our teens follow our examples and do it back to us. And then, we do it to ourselves. We never quite let go of the past or intentionally define it for ourselves.

Explore your future and what you would like it to look like. Get curious about your potential and your future possibilities.

Once you've explored your potential, get clear on some dreams and desires. What would it take on your part to make it a reality? Imagine your future-self having accomplished those dreams. What did they have to do? Who did they become to accomplish those dreams?

What would the you that has already accomplished your dreams and goals do? What would they feel? What would they think about?

Now, start living your life with that future focus. Keep your future in your sights. Have your future possibilities drive your actions, as a parent and simply as a human being.

The clearer you get on what you would like your future to look like, the better you understand who you would have to be to live that future, the easier it is to set goals.

Live in the present!

“The past is behind, learn from it. The future is ahead, prepare for it. The present is here, live it.”
~Thomas S. Monson

You can only change the future by living in the present. In A Christmas Carol we see how Scrooge starts living differently. He showed up from day to day.

He was willing to be laughed at and judged by others.

He was changing for himself and for his future possibilities.

Special Gift for YOU!

As I mentioned in the Thanksgiving episode, my birthday was last month, and I LOVE to celebrate the holidays. I love Christmas and the whole holiday season!

I want to offer you a special gift!

From now, through the end of 2020, I am giving away a few free coaching sessions each week. I want to help you, NO STRINGS ATTACHED!

Space is limited, and it's first come first serve.

Book your Gift Session Today!

Call to ACTION!

The Doors Are Open! Become a Member of Parenting with Perspective!

🤯 ONLY $57 A MONTH! 🤯

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Your Present-Self Dec 10, 2020

Show notes

What is your present?

This is where you have power and control.

What you think about your past or your future is in the present. You have the power to control how you will think about your past and future from now on. What you currently think and believe creates how you feel and act, which determines your current reality and results.

We are creating our future right now in the present by the way we think, feel, and behave.

How you feel in regards to your past or future is determined by what you think in the present.

Your results have been created by beliefs, feelings, and actions. Your present-self is a reflection of what you currently think and feel.

Many of your present patterns and habits have been formed in your past and carried into your present life. Without intention, these habits will most likely carry over into your future as well.

The present is a powerful place to explore your current results and how you are creating those.

What is your present-self creating for your future-self?

Where are you going?

We can look at our present habits and patterns and look towards the future and see what our future results will likely be if the present habits patterns go unchanged.

When we focus on our past and define ourselves by our past, we feel regret.

When we focus the future of our dreams and define ourselves by our potential, we feel hope and empowered.

Identify some of your top patterns and habits. Where are they taking you?

Embrace the power of your present-self, and Take Action!

Too many of us are waiting to make a change until . . .

. . . some unspecified future time.

The time is NOW!

You have the power to change.

We want to embrace the power of the present moment, the here and now, and take actions that will lead to the future of our dreams.

We want to recognize the patterns that exist in our present-selves and explore whether or not they lead us to our future self.

Special Gift for YOU!

As I mentioned in the Thanksgiving episode, my birthday was last month, and I LOVE to celebrate the holidays. I love Christmas and the whole holiday season!

I want to offer you a special gift!

From now, through the end of 2020, I am giving away a few free coaching sessions each week. I want to help you, NO STRINGS ATTACHED!

Space is limited, and it's first come first serve.

Book your Gift Session Today!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Your Past-Self Dec 03, 2020

Show notes

What is your past?
Your past self only exists in your mind in the form of memories.
All those moments in the past that you are proud of, or maybe a little ashamed of, only exist in memory form.
You get to decide what your past means in your life. You get to define how your past influences your present. You get to decide the story that you tell about your past.
Your past self has created your current patterns, habits, and circumstances. Your past-self did the very best that they could! They did exactly what they needed to do to help you be who you are today.
Your past-self does not control your present-self, but it does have an impact on both your present and your future.
Most people are not intentional about the impact that their past has on their present lives.
Most people never stop to think about how they think and feel about their past, or what they let their past mean in their lives.
Nobody remembers all of their past. Most people have a few pivotal moments throughout their past that they hang on to. They give these moments meaning in their present lives, both good and bad. Unfortunately, they usually give their past meaning with no intention.

They become victims to their past as they continue to be driven by their thoughts, beliefs, and emotions from and about their past. They let the patterns of their past extend, unchecked, into their future.

What does your past mean to you?
What you think about your past will determine how you feel about your past. How you feel about your past will influence how you act and behave in the present, which will then create your future.

Often times we let our past determine who we are without defining our past for ourselves.

For example, in my past, I accidentally lit my school bus on fire with some friends. For a long time, I thought that my past made me a bad person. I felt shame and embarrassment, which influenced my behaviors, which resulted in a lack of confidence in myself.

Now that I make it a point to define my own past, I am empowered by it. Lighting the school bus on fire is now nothing more than an experience that taught me valuable lessons. It's a fun story to show people that you can make HUGE mistakes and recover from them. It's a tool that I use to connect with people. At the time I felt hopeless and worthless. I can still remember that. It helps me connect with and understand teens and parents who currently feel hopeless and worthless.

Believe it or not, your past, even the parts you are most ashamed of, connects you to the future of your dreams. It's up to YOU to make the connection.

Define and Embrace Your Past.
Become aware of the impact that our past has on your life.

Explore and see what patterns and habits have carried into our present life.

Once we become aware of this, we can intentionally define the meaning of our past, and the impact that it has on our lives. We can start to appreciate the past for everything it has done and created for us, and we can let go of the things that are no longer serving us.

Special Gift for YOU!
As I mentioned in the last episode, my birthday was last month, and I LOVE to celebrate the holidays. I love Christmas and the whole holiday season!

I want to offer you a special gift!

From now, through the end of 2020, I am giving away a few free coaching sessions each week. I want to help you, NO STRINGS ATTACHED!

Space is limited, and it's first come first serve.

Book your Gift Session Today by clicking the link below!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

Lessons Learned in 2020 Nov 26, 2020

Show notes

Look for opportunities instead of obstacles.

Early in 2020, I followed a lot of the narrative about how bad 2020 was turning out to be. Inadvertently, I started believing all of the talk and I started seeing all of the obstacles.

Before I knew it, I was down, depressed, worried, and convinced that 2020 was indeed the worst year ever.

Luckily I started looking for the opportunities instead of the obstacles.

I realized that, thanks to some of the issues we've been facing in 2020, there are TONS of opportunites!

More parents need help with their teens than ever.
I get to spend way more time with my family.
I've had to focus more on the few things that I can control.
I've grown and blossomed over the past year.

Control what makes you happy.

This was a hard lesson. I am a social butterfly. I love being around people. I even love going to the store to do grocery shopping.

I love getting together with friends and playing board games for hours at a time at a local board game night.

I love going to live sporting events.

COVID-19 took a lot of that away from me.

I realized that some of the things that made me happiest were outside of my control.

So I decided that I wanted to control the things that make me happy .

I am happy when I serve others.
I am happy when I'm helping others.
I'm happy when I'm loving my family.
I'm happy when I am growing.

Things can change, and I'll be okay.

For as much as I generally like change and get excited by the mere idea of change, there have been several changes that have happened this year that I have not been happy with.

Going to live personal events was something that I loved.

I've learned that things can change, and I'll be okay. I don't have to love, but I don't want to argue with the new reality either.

Things always change. It's up to me to be okay and to make the most out of it.

The little things mean the most.

I love my family!

I love coaching and helping other families.

I love living in a country that is so alive, vibrant, passionate, sometimes very opinionated, and doing their very best!

I'm grateful for my health.

I'm grateful for my life!

Special Gift for YOU!

My birthday was yesterday. Today we are celebrating one of my favorite holidays. I love Christmas and the whole holiday season!

I want to offer you a special gift!

From now, through the end of 2020, I am giving away a few free coaching sessions each week. I want to help you, NO STRINGS ATTACHED!

Space is limited, and it's first come first serve.

Book your Gift Session Today!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

How to Manage Your Own Emotions - Part 2 Nov 19, 2020

Show notes

Managing your emotions is POWERFUL!

Last week we talked about the power of managing YOUR OWN emotions.

We discussed how it is an opportunity for you as a parent to turn tough parenting moments into powerful parenting moments.

We talked about how managing your emotions will help you connect with your teen, teach by example, and be intentional in the way you parent. Today I wanted to dig in a little deeper and discuss How to Manage Your Emotions.

3 A's to help with emotion.

Awareness
- This one is huge!
- Many parents are not truly aware of how or what they are feeling. They simply know that they don't like what they are feeling.
- Increase your awareness of what the feeling is and where you experience the emotion.
  - I know that anxiety for me is a tightness in my neck and upper chest.
    - When I feel anxious, I tend to focus on what can go wrong.
  - Anger is a tense sensation in my chest and my face.
    - When I'm angry I have a hard time thinking. I hyper-focus on what I'm angry about and can't let it go.
- Explore what thoughts lead to the emotion.
Acceptance
- Again, this one is HUGE!
- So many parents judge themselves and their emotions.
- They think, "Anger is bad," or "I shouldn't be mad."
- They make it mean something about themselves like, "I'm a bad parent because I am so mad."
- Emotions just mean that you are human.
Allow it
- I would even go so far as to embrace it.
- Stop trying to change it.
- Stop trying to push it away.
- Stop trying to ignore it.

These three A's go hand in hand. Getting better at one of them will help you do the others better.

This takes practice.

Don't expect to be perfect, or think you should be doing better. Those are judgements, just allow the emotions as they are, accept them for what they are, and become more aware of them.

Think of a beachball.

Imagine yourself trying to hold a beachball under water.

How much effort would that take?

Now, imaging the beachball trying to rise to the surface. Keep mentally pushing that beachball down. What color is the ball? How big is it?

Often times we treat out emotions like pushing a beachball under water. It takes lots of effort, it makes it hard to really see the beachball, and it just keeps trying to come to the surface.

When we allow the metaphorical beachball, our emotions, to sit on the surface we can then become more aware of them and more intentional.

Use the model to manage your emotions.

Do some work in the thought line:
- Explore what thoughts are creating your emotions.
- What do you think about experiencing negative emotions?
- Why am I thinking this?
Do some work in the feeling line:
- How does it feel?
- How would I describe it?
- Where do I feel it in my body?
Do some work in the action line:
- How do I act when I feel this way?
- How do I want to act when I feel this way?
Look at your results.
- What results are you currently getting?
- What results would you like to get?
- What are you willing to feel in connection with your desired result?

Call to ACTION!

Join my group coaching program if you'd like to dive deeper into gratitude and goals during the month of November. I promise that this will help you become the parent of your dreams.

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.

How to Manage Your Own Emotions - Part 1 Nov 12, 2020

Show notes

https://benpughcoaching.lpages.co/membership/

Emotionally Intentional Parenting is POWERFUL!

Some parenting experts say, "You've got to parent WITHOUT emotion."

I think that idea is SO WRONG! Our teens don't want to be parented by robots. they want parents who are emotionally invested. Rather than parenting without emotion, we need to parent with intention and control when it comes to our emotions.

Most of people in the world think that how they feel is based on their circumstances.

YOU HAVE THE POWER to turn challenging parenting moments into opportunities for connection, love, and learning.

Understanding the model (explained in episode 007), Circumstances, Thoughts, Feelings, Actions, and Results can help us process challenging parenting moments.

We can use the model to learn from our past, plan for the future, and show up intentionally in the present.

Flight or Fight CANCELS Learning

We limit our teen's ability to learn when we trigger their amygdala.

When's the last time you got yelled at?
What did you do?
How did you feel?

Chances are that you, even as an adult, went into Fight, Flight, or Freeze mode.

Fear, anxiety, shame, and embarrassment do not foster positive learning environments.

When we lose emotional control, this often leads to actions such as yelling, arguing, and fighting. This often triggers our teens' amygdala, the primitive part of the brain that is responsible for our fight or flight (survival) response.

No matter how badly you want to yell, scream, throw things, hit or any action done out of emotional control, this will only shut down your teen's ability to learn and process, and it will make it hard for you to connect with them.

Opportunity to Model Desired Behavior

Human beings are herd animals. We like to function as a herd. As part of this, we are really good at reading other's emotions and mirroring them back to them.

This is part of the reason that being emotionally intentional will change EVERYTHING! As the parent, you are the leader of the back. Your teens are mirroring your behaviors on some level. If you want them to show up calm in tough situations, show them what you'd like it to look like by showing up that way yourself.

Our actions are way louder than our words.

Demonstrating emotional control in tough parenting moments will teach your teen that #1 It is possible to be in control even when your upset, and #2 that, this is how I want you to act.

Take Away: Turn Challenging Moments into Opportunities

YOU HAVE THE POWER to turn challenging parenting moments into opportunities for connection, love, and learning.

Most parents are simply reactive in challenging parenting moments. This leads to parents taking actions out of fear, shame, frustration and anger, and self-doubt.

Knowing that challenging parenting moments are opportunities will help you be proactive and intentional, rather than simply reactional. You will be able to choose what you think in the moment, how you feel, what action you take, and what result you want to achieve.

Call to ACTION!

Join my group coaching program if you'd like to dive deeper into gratitude and goals during the month of November. I promise that this will help you become the parent of your dreams.

The Doors Are Open! Become a Member of Parenting with Perspective!

Are You Caught in the Parent Trap?

Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free.