Helping Couples Heal Podcast

Welcome to the Helping Couples Heal podcast. If you have lost hope around healing your relationship due to infidelity, relational or betrayal trauma you have come to the right place. Helping Couples Heal is an ongoing podcast designed to help couples recover and heal from the impact of betrayal trauma on their relationships. We cumulatively bring over two decades of experience and expertise in the field of betrayal. Throughout this podcast series, we will offer resources and support and teach you the tools and skills necessary to heal your relationship. You will also hear from recovered addicts, partners, and couples who will share their stories, as well as from experts in the field of betrayal. With compassion, love and fierce commitment, we will guide you and walk beside you as you navigate this journey of recovery, hope, and healing. Thank you for inviting us into your world; we are honored to support you.

Latest Episodes:

54 How to Reconstruct a Relationship with Jake Porter Oct 21, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Jake Porter of Daring Ventures about trauma, addiction, secure attachment, grief and loss, and how to reconstruct a relationship that has been traumatized by betrayal. We discuss how couples can create new meaning in their relationships after betrayal and the importance of working together to develop a shared collaborative narrative of their history.

We also explore the steps and tools necessary to help couples heal and explain why it is so important for the person who has committed the betrayal to become a part of the healing process even though they are the person who is responsible for the hurting.

Please use this link to purchase Making Saves as referred in the podcast. Use the coupon code "helpingcouplesheal" for a 50 percent discount.

53: Shattering the Stigma: Providing Hope for Men Impacted by Betrayal Trauma Sep 14, 2023

Show notes

In the face of betrayal, healing may seem like an impossible task for male partners.

Male betrayed partners are often overlooked in the treatment of betrayal trauma. In this episode, Marnie and Duane address the challenges that male betrayed partners face in the aftermath of betrayal and emphasize the need for support in their healing process.

Men are often taught to be strong and emotionally stoic, making it difficult to seek help when they experience betrayal. The void of resources specifically for men reinforces this.

You're not alone in your pain. We see you, we hear you, and we are creating resources and support specifically for male betrayed partners.

- Marnie Breecker

While female betrayed partners, in general, have gained much more attention and resources in the last decade, men often continue to be overlooked. This podcast episode addresses the need to create safe spaces where men can express their hurt without judgment. We provide valuable insights about how the socialization of men discourages asking for help and acknowledging their pain and emphasize that acknowledging the hurt is the first crucial step toward healing.

To all the betrayed men listening, we want you to know that we recognize that your voices need to be heard, your pain acknowledged and specific resources and support dedicated to your healing.

We all deserve to heal, regardless of gender.

Betrayal does not come in one gender. When we are betrayed by the person we love the most, it does not matter what your external life is like. What you have lost is what matters.

- Duane Osterlind

The critical moments in this episode are:

00:01:27 - Differences between male and female betrayed partners,

00:03:59 - Male betrayed partners as an underserved population,

00:07:03 - Shame and stigma faced by male betrayed partners,

00:09:01 - Delayed response of male betrayed partners,

00:15:13 - Importance of Trust

Find out more about our couples workshop.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

52: Embracing a Restorative Justice Model After Betrayal Aug 07, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, hosts Marnie Breecker and Duane Osterlind emphasize the importance of adopting a restorative justice model when healing a relationship after betrayal.

They advocate for moving away from a punitive mindset and instead focusing on healing, repairing the harm caused, and fostering understanding.

The hosts address common misconceptions, such as the idea that showing compassion to the betraying partner neglects or disrespects the betrayed partner. They stress that the restorative approach respects the humanity of everyone involved and allows for accountability and meaningful repair.

By embracing this model, couples can work towards true healing and wholeness in their relationships, both in the short term and for a lifetime.

The hosts highlight that the restorative justice model has been proven effective in reducing the likelihood of reoffending and increasing recovery and success rates in healing.

They invite listeners to consider this approach and reassure them of their dedication to supporting individuals on their healing journey.

Find out more about our workshop.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

51: In Each Other's Care with Stan Tatkin Jun 29, 2023

Show notes

In this episode, Marnie and Duane welcome Stan Tatkin back to the Helping Couples Heal podcast to continue their discussion about healing relationships after betrayal and to talk about his new book In Each Other's Care: A Guide to the Most Common Relationship Conflicts and How to Work Through Them.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to understand how to create relationships based on fairness, justice, and mutual sensitivity and how to make them thrive long-term.

Check out our free webinar on healing your relationship after betrayal trauma.

https://workshop.helpingcouplesheal.com/

50: The Power of Personal Advocacy and Collaboration in Betrayal Trauma Treatment May 22, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk about being responsible for your healing and what that means. While building a treatment team is critical for successful recovery and healing, advocating for yourself is equally important.

Therapy/therapeutic coaching is a collaboration and partnership between the treating professional and the client/clients.

Learning to advocate for yourself and be a collaborative partner in this process is crucial to staying on a path that's right for you/your relationship as you heal from the trauma of betrayal.

Learn more about the HCH 2-Day Couples Workshop at:

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

49: A Call to Men with Ted Bunch Apr 17, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of The Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk to Ted Bunch, author, educator, activist, lecturer, and Chief Development Officer at A Call to Men, about the collective socialization of Men, the "Man Box" and how these social constructs directly impact our lives and relationships and, specifically, infidelity, betrayal, and sex and pornography addiction.

Since A Call To Men was founded in 2002, they have trained more than a million people and worked with organizations around the world, including the National Football League, National Basketball Association, National Hockey League, Major League Baseball, Major League Soccer, Uber, Deloitte, Harry’s, J.P. Morgan, the United States Military, the U.S. Department of Justice, the United Nations, and colleges and universities across the country.

Learn more about our workshop here:

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

48: Ambiguous Grief with Stephanie Sarazin Mar 29, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of the Helping Couple Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with author Stephanie Sarazin about her book "Soulbroken: A Guidebook For Your Journey Through Ambiguous Grief," written in the aftermath of her own experience of intimate betrayal. Frequently, betrayed partners report intense feelings of grief as a result of the discovery of betrayal. Grief is a word we are all familiar with, but grieving someone who is still alive is altogether less familiar and certainly less understood. In our interview with Stephanie, we dive deep into understanding the emotional pain of a changed or lost relationship with someone you love.

To learn more about how our workshop could help your relationship heal, click the link below.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

47: Help Them Heal with Carol the Coach Feb 23, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Carol Juergensen Sheets (AKA Carol the Coach) about Help. Them. Heal., her newest book about helping couples heal their relationship after sexual betrayal. She also shares about the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM) and how she trains professionals in this model to help them in their work with clients in moving towards relational healing and post-traumatic growth.

Learn more about our Helping Couples Heal workshop at https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

46: You Can't Think Your Way Out of Trauma Jan 24, 2023

Show notes

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane talk with Gemini Adams, Trauma Recovery Specialist, Educator, Author, and HCH Coach, about the importance of including somatic practices in the treatment of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). Talk therapy and coaching have tremendous value and are often much-needed resources for individuals suffering from mental health issues, life stressors, grief, and relationship problems. Talking also has some limitations when it comes to healing complex trauma and calming a dysregulated nervous system.

After the discovery of betrayal, both partners often experience acute and chronic stress, emotional overwhelm, and relational trauma, which disrupts their ability to feel safe with themselves and may result in survival responses that increase anxiety, anger, depression, despair, and/or dissociation. Suppose you are walking the path of healing from betrayal trauma. In that case, this conversation will help you understand the importance of integrating somatic practices to help return your nervous system to safety, reduce trauma responses and move toward a greater capacity for connection, communication, and inner peace.

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/our-coaches/

45: Imago Dialogue/Safe Conversations with Harville & Helen - Part 2 Dec 14, 2022

Show notes

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie and Duane bring you part 2 of their conversation with Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt.

Harville and Helen talk about the history of IMAGO dialogue (now called Safe Conversations) and share their social vision of moving from an individualistic civilization to a relational civilization as the next stage of human social evolution. They explain how they have devoted themselves to taking a therapeutic intervention (IMAGO dialogue) that was historically taught only in a therapeutic setting and bringing it into the culture to teach all human beings how to talk.

We do a deep dive into the neuroscience behind the dialogue's efficacy, the 4 tenets of the dialogue and how the structure and safety create the necessary conditions for safe conversations.

Want to learn more about our couples workshop?

https://helpingcouplesheal.com/workshop/

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