Hello Dysfunction

Latest Episodes:

S1 Ep83: Crest With Sparkles Jun 18, 2020

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Family drama, celebrities in trouble, a heart attack scare. Police are being erased from tv, company branding is getting a much needed makeover and a few businesses that won’t survive the pandemic. Some day to day objects that can be surprisingly useful, don’t sell content that isn’t yours! And now’s a great time to explore some online dating.
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S1 Ep82: She Ate The Carpet Jun 10, 2020

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We’re back after a break, discussing some of what’s going on in the world. The importance of always speaking up, in the RIGHT way. Problematic family members don’t get a pass. Including Dottie. Crystal has once again expanded her squad. The Bay Area is slowly opening back up and never underestimate the value of good customer service.
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BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

S1 Ep81: Bitch, She's On TikTok May 28, 2020

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It’s been a long hot week and we’re still under quarantine. Sometimes “friends” can be weird. Please practice some online etiquette, Crystal is now offering legal advice and lending out her purse. Pata Fria’s houseguest is showing off and Carolyn is acting out. Weird news, cool things to watch and stand up for our black brothers and sisters or be exiled, it’s not a choice. Enjoy xo.
*If you or someone you know needs to be tested for Covid-19 please call 1-888-634-1123

S1 Ep80: Is Lucy Missing Money? May 20, 2020

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Happy Birthday Malcolm X and Pata Fria. Dottie is on her way out, a new animal is on the scene and pelvic pain is the worst. Find out if Crystal is under investigation and don’t let missing fingers and toes be a deal breaker.
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To receive 10% off of your first month head to BetterHelp.com/HELLO, again that’s BetterHelp.com/HELLO for 10% off your first month.

S1 Ep79: My Tits Were My Best Personality Trait May 14, 2020

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We're back again wishing Stevie Wonder and Dottie a happy birthday. Crystal's animal rescue foundation has re-homed all the kittens as she continues work as a full-time contractor. We share some tips on how not to train your dog, and get ready for bell bottoms because they're back. A little frustrating celebrity news and some tv recommendations.
We hope you enjoy xo

S1 Ep78: Your Butthole Is Not For Vengeance May 06, 2020

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We're back from a break because let's face it, sometimes life takes over. Cinco de Mayo is for drinking, we visit lots of weird news, and why were all grandparents so beautiful? Some parenting talk, new film and book recommendations and keep Crisco out of your god damn cookies. Enjoy.
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S1 Ep77: Hit It With Something Wet Apr 22, 2020

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Our brains are getting bored and we’re all dreamers. Home school is stressful. Health over capitalism. Must see show/film recommendations. Frankenstein is freezing and it’s a shitty time for a money scam. Crystal takes us down a dark path about cleanliness and if you don’t want to barter w your landlord don't ruin it for everyone else.
Enjoy.

S1 Ep76: Mom’s New Sex Toy Apr 16, 2020

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Same old shit, different day. Crystal and Pata Fria handled a joint dog catching assignment. Happy Birthday to Crystal’s mom Charlene. Pata Fria is doing a new form of charity work. Don’t expect Crystal to change her cleaning routine. Be careful how you speak to/in front of your kids. No show can really top The Office and Trump is ready to colonize other planets.
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S1 Ep75: Sobriety Swim Test Apr 09, 2020

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Lonely days, disturbing dreams, some family dysfunction, sassy tones and lots of tv
xo
Betterhelp.com/Hello

S1 Ep74: I LOVE sex Apr 03, 2020

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Keeping in touch with you guys during the social distancing. This week we discuss lucid dreams, a new baby, ridiculous dads, investigating your partner, tiger king and the inability to get motivated lately may not be your fault...

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