Hello Dysfunction

Latest Episodes:

S1 Ep93: Vaginal Preservation Aug 27, 2020

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Crystal is nervous about surgery and guys are really gross. Our air quality is awful and depression is on the rise. Kittens are available! vaginas weren't made for men and please use extreme care when introducing step-parents into your family. I May Destroy You, Perry Mason and The Rain are this week's tv suggestions. Stay safe and don't forget to subscribe!
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S1 Ep92: I'm A Receipt Keeping Bitch Aug 20, 2020

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This week we’re celebrating Crystal’s birthday, playing matchmaker and calling out bullshit. Unexpected places to blow off steam, listener write-ins and probably the worst birthing story you’ve ever heard. Stay cool, stay safe and subscribe xo
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Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep91: Ghosts Are Assholes Aug 14, 2020

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Waking up to some bad news, Crystal is Snow White in her dreams and don't ever question what someone else is purchasing. Fruit cocktail is tied to some uncomfortable memories, new paranormal things are happening and micro penises are more common than you think.
Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO
Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep90: The Spence Stinkies Aug 06, 2020

Show notes

Crystal is dressed like The Ultimate Warrior, Pata Fria is having contractions. Wear clean underwear for your medical procedures. Don’t have strangers text your kids, if you want Dottie or Crystal’s attention use cheese. Pregnancy really causes some unexpected surprises and body modifications have reached shocking new levels.
Join our Patreon!! patreon.com/hellodysfunction
Follow us on IG: instagram.com/hellodysfunction
Email us your questions/stories at: hellodysfunction@gmail.com

S1 Ep89: Maybe Don’t Eat Canned Meat Jul 30, 2020

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Welcome back...some babies have arrived, court went well, cats cast spells, watch out for things sucking your feet! Check expiration dates everywhere, don’t joke about anyone’s trauma, utilize social media now more than ever and bring back products from the 80s!
Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

S1 Ep88: Speaking Of Heavy Meats Jul 23, 2020

Show notes

We’re back with a bang and good news from our doctors! Crystal had a long visit inside a small chamber, spiders can’t be trusted, keep your kids close but give your doggies some space. Try new meats and always be aware of your surroundings. Some difficult news and code switching isn’t a good thing after all. Are re-born dolls doing more harm than good?
Enjoy xo

S1 Ep87: Kevin Is Famous Jul 16, 2020

Show notes

California is shut back down, we might lose the Oakland zoo, Crystal and Kevin made the news! Stop following problematic artists, Oklahoma natives are owed some rent and some listener write-ins are discussed.
Wear a mask, people.
Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

S1 Ep86: You Go Fight At Cheese Park Jul 09, 2020

Show notes

Happy Birthday Frida Kahlo. Fires, no sleep, bubonic plague and firecrackers. Racists exposing themselves, a sad election and a couple fights. Always put your own well being first and get out of your comfort zone.
Enjoy xo.

S1 Ep85: Just Leave Him Jul 02, 2020

Show notes

Busy busy week learning new technology. Crystal’s been diffusing family drama and Pata Fria is stressed from not working. Covid is alive and well and it looks like we’ll be charged for treatments after all. Headlines are usually lies and communication is always key.
Check out our sponsor!
BetterHelpRight now BetterHelp is offering a discount to our listeners. For 10% off your first month head over to betterhelp.com and use discount code HELLO, that’s betterhelp.com/HELLO

S1 Ep84: Always Wipe The Pee Off Jun 25, 2020

Show notes

Happy Juneteenth/Father’s Day/Birthday! The ghost is picking on Dottie, Corona is alive and well, please rinse your damn dishes and everyone needs to wipe. Natalia is at it again, we have some really awesome listeners. No family towels and the ground is still lava.
Enjoy xo

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