Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Latest Episodes:

Ep 47 Working with a Child's Rigid Behaviors Sep 25, 2018

Show notes

This week we define how deep-rooted fears cause emotional projects, and how parents experience them as well as children.

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An Entirely New Spin on Kids and Sharing Sep 11, 2018

Show notes

To share, or not to share, is that the question?

So many parents in our parent groups and The Parent Club come to us with questions about sharing, it's a subject that we knew we had to cover!

Why is sharing such a hot-topic conversation?

Well, sharing brings on big feelings for parents and children and there are so many differing thoughts and views on how to handle sharing.

And sharing can feel unfair, or questionable.

Like when your child demands another child's toy at a playgroup, for instance, it can feel like second nature to make him or her wait. But when another child demands a toy from yours, we often feel propelled to hand it over.

But, what if we went beyond what fair sharing looks like, and into why sharing so often doesn't happen? What if we treated the symptom, instead of the problem?

Try This Entirely New Spin on Sharing

So today, Abigail and Elle share an entirely new spin on parenting, with some concrete tools on handling sharing with the children in your lives.

Join us this week and listen to An Entirely New Spin on Kids and Sharing

More Resources About Sharing

At Hand in Hand Parenting, we're fans of this "I'll be with you while you wait," strategy. This way of listening to a child has multiple benefits for your child's emotional health, and it also stops the back and forth taking turns that can be so frustrating and stressful to put in place.

Find out more about that here It's Mine! All About Sharing

keep connected

We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

Wish parenting was less stressful?

Join Hand in Hand's Parent Club for support and community.

Growth Mindset, Winning, and Why It's Important for Your Child Sep 04, 2018

Show notes

How can we help children towards building a positive self-identity? An "I Can!" attitude?

This week Abigail shares the life-changing moment she cracked her tens times tables at 8-years-old, and how this win led to a paradigm shift in mindset - between what she thought she could do and what she could actually do.

A sense of accomplishment and winning can spur a sense of interest, self-directed learning and discovery, but how can we work with a child to help them win at challenging tasks, even when we do not feel good or confident about the task?

And how can that support change in our children's outlook and influence how they view their abilities for the rest of their lives?

One Tool You Can Use To Build Resilience and Confidence

In an age of entitlement, we're talking about why it is still important to cultivate a growth mindset - a mindset that allows us to celebrate our wins, our children's wins and makes space for winning - and losing.

How Can We Foster Growth Mindset with our Kids?

Now, what if your child is not yet attuned to his or her own greatness, even if you are? On the episode, we also examine the ways kids can fight their own abilities, why things feel hard for them and one tool you have to help your child shine.

Join us and listen to Growth Mindset, Winning, and Why It's Important for Your Child:

How to support your child and a sense of self-identity
What notions do we have as parents that might set up roadblocks for our kids as learners and winners?
How can we foster a climate of growth mindset?
What can we do to support a child that resists?
Why failure matters too

keep connected

We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

Don't forget to subscribe!

Wish Parenting was less stressful? Join Hand in Hand's Parent Club for support and community. Your own Parent Club with moderated forums, live call-ins and resources.

Happier Parenting: Why Owning Your Parenting is Key Aug 28, 2018

Show notes

Have you ever woken up in the morning and vowed to yourself that you are going to make it A GREAT DAY? And then, 10 minutes later, your kids are bickering over who got the best bowl, homework is missing, and you can't find your purse?

And it's like, seriously?!! What happened?

And it continues like that, on a downward spiral, all through the day.

Worrying about getting to school on time, sniping at your children who are sniping at each other, bribing a kid to take a class, threatening a kid to EAT SOMETHING, yelling at a kid to get IN THE SHOWER.

Forget happier, peaceful, supportive parenting! At this point, you don't much like your kids. You don't like the way you handled things so you don't even like yourself. There doesn't feel much to be happy about!

And then you get into bed and wonder - how am I going to face all that again tomorrow?

The Key to Happier Parenting Is This...

But what if you could change that? What if you could go to bed content in being the parent you are, confident in the decisions you made.

Happier, because you own your parenting?

That's what we're talking about on the podcast today. Owning your parenting means making decisions based on your own family's needs, and feeling empowered not powerless when moments get sticky.

Owning your parenting means, ultimately, being a happier parent and in this episode, Elle and Abigail talk about how to get to that point.

We find out:

How false expectations can wreck our parenting experience
How to love the kids you have not the kid you wanted
How to feel happier about yourself as a parent even when things don't go as planned
Getting past the "I shoulds," "I coulds," and "I bet other people are..." comparison parenting

Parenting is tough, but when we can own parenting, we can remain strong, sure and secure when our kids put us through our paces.

And when we own our parenting, we can love them fiercely, no matter what.

What could be happier than that?

More resources on Happier Parenting

Hand in Hand Parenting isn't a one size fits all approach. Instead, the five tools can be used and adapted for all of your parenting challenges as you need them. Read more about them here in Learn Five Tools That Will Transform The Way You Parent In One Week

The book Listen: Five Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges is available now in paperback, ebook or audio and lists hundreds of ways real-life parents use the tools.

Listen to a section of the audiobook here

Read What if Parenting Is an Emotional Practice?

keep connected

We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

Wish parenting was less stressful?

Join Hand in Hand's Parent Club for support and community.

How Do You Respond To Your Kid's Questions? Aug 21, 2018

Show notes

Abigail responds to a mom who has difficulties answering her young daughter's questions - most likely because it feels like answering will confirm her child's worst suspicions!

And Elle admits finding some of her kid's simple questions difficult - especially when they ask her if she's leaving for work.

Even when she's half out the door, she admits, she doesn't want to 'fess up and just tell them she's going.

What's going on?

Avoidance!

Getting Honest about Honest Parenting

This week on the podcast Abigail and Elle get honest about answering children's questions honestly.

Abigail talks about how children pick up on avoidance, and the science of how the brain perceives what you see and feel, plus the confusion that ensues when presented with a different picture.

The hosts also reveal why some parents do feel uncomfortable with some questions and not others, and how to lean into questions, rather than make judgments about what a child is feeling, or simply run away!

If you've ever felt put on the spot and not wanting to answer your child's questions, join Abigail and Elle for an honest discussion on why, ultimately, it pays to answer kids questions honestly whenever possible - and how to do this in a way that will actually bring you and your children closer!

In this week's Episode:

Why don't we want to answer our kids' questions anyway?
How we can send our children tracking signals off if we avoid their questions
How being honest where possible sets kids up well for the future
Why we can better respond when we attempt to uncover the why behind questions
How to make answering questions about curiosity and connection, not battles and stand-offs

More Resources for Answering Your Kids Questions Honestly

Here's the e-book on decoding How Children's Emotions Work that Elle mentions, and this article talks about answering kids' core questions well.

keep connected

We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

Wish Parenting was less stressful? Join Hand in Hand's Parent Club for support and community. Your own Parent Club with moderated forums, live call-ins and resources.

A Four-Point Plan for Getting Back to School With Less Stress Aug 14, 2018

Show notes

Summer is winding down for Abigail and Elle. That means it's almost time for their kids to head back to school! So this week the hosts ask:

How do YOU feel?

That's also the first step Abigail and Elle outline in a four-point plan for getting back smoothly into the school routine.

Join us for a Back to School Connection Plan

We hear a lot about how difficult life is for our children going back to school, but what we hear about less is how difficult it can be for parents too! So this week we're asking:

What if you like a more laid-back routine?
What if you worked and felt you missed out on the holidays?
What if you have big issues making the school lunch, getting out early or battling over homework?
What if you just can't wait for school to start (like, yesterday!!)

Our feelings can have a lot to do with how our children react when school starts.

Add to that the fact that many children can react to the transition back to school with big feelings, whether that shows up in crying and meltdowns, or rigidity and defiance, and need us to anchor them more than usual.

If you need tips for dealing with all of these challenges and more, listen in as we share a four-point plan for getting back to school feeling less stressed and with fewer battles!

More Resources for a Less-Stress Transition Back To School

This extensive post details what children experience starting school and how you can work together to really boost connections and keep it strong: Starting School Part 1; How to Pack the Backpack

This post is also very helpful How to Keep Calm on School Mornings

If you find the Hand in Hand podcast helpful in your parenting, consider joining our Parent Club for even more help and support for your parenting. Click here to find out more and get a free 30-day free trial.

keep connected

We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

A Little Lite Listening Partnerships Demonstration Aug 07, 2018

Show notes

A lot of parents ask us about our tool for parents, the Listening Partnership, about how they should run and what they should sound like, so this week on the podcast Elle and Abigail give a demonstration of the tool.

New to Listening Partnerships? What Are They Anyway and How Do They Help Parents De-stress?

Listen Partnerships are one of Hand in Hand's five parenting tools and is the only tool to focus on parent self-care. These sessions can really help lighten the load!

Parents can use the tool as a space to air their confusions, stress or parenting challenges, with a parent who listens without offering solutions, for a set amount of time, before switching turns.

The tool is an excellent resource for parents, and allows them to clear blocked thoughts and emotions so that they can return to their families with renewed energy and enthusiasm for the tough role of parenting!

Abigail and Elle have both come to value the immense effect Listening Time can have on helping them in their parenting.

What Does a Listening Partnership Sound Like?

But lots of parents wonder about how LIstening Time really works or what a Listening Partnership "should" sound like. So, this week, Elle and Abigail switch listening time, with each focusing on parenting through the summer. Join us as we:

Set up the listening partnership turns and timing
Decide who records the time
Share our feelings on summer
Wrap up the Listening Time with a question for one another

If you've been reluctant or nervous to begin a Listening Partnership, or you've had doubts or worries about "doing it right," we hope you'll enjoy hearing to how this listening time unfolds and feel inspired to dive in.

More Resources About Hand in Hand's Tool of Listening Partnerships

Read about how Listening Partnerships can reduce stress and transform parenting

Get tips for your own Listening Time in Establishing Good Listening Partnerships and Knowing When to Move On

If you'd like to find a Listening Partner, join our Parent's Support Group on Facebook where lots of parents post looking for Listening Partnerships.

Learn the science behind why this kind of listening is so effective in this online class on Building a Listening Partnership with Hand in Hand founder Patty Wipfler. Find out how to select what topics will serve you best, and how to listen and respond well to a Listening Partner. Over 25 video and audio examples take you through the process step by step.

keep connected

We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Don't forget to subscribe!

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Wish Parenting was less stressful? Join Hand in Hand's Parent Club for support and community. Your own Parent Club with moderated forums, live call-ins and resources.

Sibling Rivalry: Abigail and Elle Talk Soothing Sibling Battles with Evie Granville Jul 30, 2018

Show notes

This week we're replaying a wonderful podcast we recorded on sibling rivalry with Evie Granville of Modern Manners for Moms and Dads.

Join us as we decode what's driving the behaviors between Evie's two children, and share with here how to approach Sibling Rivalry from a Hand in Hand approach.

On this special guest podcast, you'll learn:

What to do when your kids won't share
How to handle aggressive behaviors
And ways to prevent sibling rivalry before it even starts

Listen in to lots of anecdotes and real-life situations about brothers and sisters, battles and squabbles, love and connection in this episode!

More Resources for Easing Sibling Rivalry

This bumper guide to sibling rivalry has many solutions to help ease battles between siblings: A Hand in Hand Guide to Sibling Rivalry and if you want to add in a little humour, try these 15 Playful Ways to Solve Sibling Rivalry

And here is the link to our podcast on Brain Science that Abigail talks about.

Go to http://www.evieandsarah.com/ to listen to more of Evie's podcasts.

What To Do When The Kids Go Wild! Jul 24, 2018

Show notes

Imagine this. Your kids are on a playdate. Everything is fine. There are a few giggles. Some stomping. The next minute? The kids are laughing manically, and the house is so trashed it looks like it has seconds until it falls down around you.

The kids have gone wild.

What To Do When The Kids Go Wild!

This episode on the Hand in Hand Parenting Podcast we're talking about those moments kids seem to lose all control. Why does crazy happen and what can you do when it hits?

Ever felt like, as a Hand in Hand parent, you should be the playful parent, the one encouraging play? And then you find yourself standing in your kitchen being sprayed by the kids from outside by a water hose? That's what happened to one mom who came to Abigail asking, "How can I reign things in when my kids go wild!"

Abigail and Elle talk about the need for limits and how helpful they are, and how you can set good firm limits and STILL BE PLAYFUL!

Join us this week for a lively chat and discover:

What are the differences between being a playful parent and a permissive parent?
How to monitor behavior boundaries
When to step in and set a limit
How to step in when the child is not your own
Playful strategies to get everyone listening, on board with your limit and STILL having fun.

More resources for coping when kids get crazy!

This video Seven Ways To Help Kids Get Along gives you seven tools in seven minutes to help solve squabbling.

Keep connected

We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram.

Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message about challenges you might be facing in your parenting.

Wish Parenting was less stressful? Join Hand in Hand's Parent Club for support and community. Your own Parent Club with moderated forums, live call-ins and resources.

"Am I a Useless Parent?": Why There's No "Pass" or "Fail" in Parenting Jul 17, 2018

Show notes

Am I doing ok in parenting?

Am I failing in this thing that matters so much?

Did I mess this whole thing up?

If you come in search of answers in parenting and you find an approach that speaks to you, do you feel a higher pressure to "succeed" - in the approach and in your parenting?

So many of us ask this! And, from reading your thoughtful posts and comments, we see many of us worry that we are failing in Hand in Hand, or failing in parenting as a whole.

Well, we have news for you, beautiful parents.

You are failing nothing!

Counting Wins not Fails in Parenting

This week Abigail and Elle are talking about how we should be counting our wins differently, creating a mindset that asks why, and that can be celebrated.

We talk about finding the magic in good parenting tools - and then feeling lousy when we don't or can't use them well:

What if you know it helps to listen to your child calmly when they whine but instead you get filled with rage?
What if you know it helps to set limits closely but you still yell them out from the other room?
What if you know that play helps you connect but you are just too darn tired?

Well, what if you started asking why those things felt wrong, or hard, or odd for you? And what if you could count that as your win instead?

Because, guess what? You are never failing in parenting!

Join Abigail and Elle this week as they talk about addressing feelings of stress and failure in parenting, and how you can work past them. There's even a song about those horrible, no good, very bad days from Abigail!*

More Resources When You Feel You are Failing As a Parent

Get this free guide with Five Ideas That Make Parenting Less Stressful

Get a listening partner! We can't say this enough! Listening Partners are the place where you can go to get relief when you are filled with doubt and worry, have questions and want solutions. This is the place you figure out your parenting journey. Learn more about Listening Partnerships here.

Did you know our book Listen: Five Simple Tools To Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges is available on audio? Take five minutes out and listen to a sample here

keep connected

We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message

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