Hand in Hand Parenting: The Podcast

Latest Episodes:

How To Get A Defiant Child Moving When You Have to Be Somewhere Jul 23, 2019

Show notes

You just dropped one child at his playdate. Now you have 15 minutes to scoot across to the pool for your younger kid's swim lesson. Easy, right? Actually no. Your child is refusing to scoot. He doesn't want to put on his swim clothes. He won't go to the pool. "I HATE swim class," he yells defiantly. Why Reasoning Won't Work Oh, and when you tried reasoning? He kicked his scooter across the car park and laid flat on the tarmac. He isn't going anywhere. How Do You Set Limits WIth A Defiant Child? If you are using the Hand in Hand Tools you know that a child's defiance shows they are having a hard time. You also know that one of the best ways to work through this is by letting your defiant child work through their anger and frustration. Staylistening through their upset works great—when you have time. But What Happens When You Don't Have Time? Right now the clock ticking in your head sounds like a bomb waiting to explode. Your indecision on how to move forward mounts with every second that passes. You notice passersby eyeing up your situation, and you're ready to blow. Do you: A: Sit and listen to your child's outburst, and watch the clock tick past the start of the swim lesson. B: Pack your defiant child under one arm and the scooter under another and march over to the pool. C: Announce that class is off and suggest getting an ice-cream instead. You'll tackle this some other time. Surprise! None of these are right. And none of them are wrong! Today on the podcast we share ideas and tools that will help you decide how to respond when your child gets defiant and simply says "No." Listen in for: - Surefire strategies to prevent these stands-offs from happening in the first place - Why every limit you give your child is actually multiple limits bound together as one and how to unravel them - How to get clear on limits you want to hold and those you can let slip away - What to do when you absolutely, really, definitely need your child do something and they are defiant in saying no STAY CONNECTED We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges.;Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

Yes! You Can Playlisten When your Child is Upset Jul 17, 2019

Show notes

Your child grabs the one extra cookie you said he wasn't allowed…

What do you do?

Or your daughter whines the minute she sees you pull out peanut butter for her toast...

Or, when your son hears that his sister is having a sleepover he yells that you're a mean mom...and that you have wrinkles!

Yes he did.

To Play or Not to Play...That is the Question

Would you, could you playfully parent in these situations, or would you Staylisten to your child's upset?

A lot of parents ask us when to play and when to stay and we answer in the podcast this week:

When to play and when to stay...

When can you play and then stay…

And why would you stay then play…

Ok, we'll stop with the rhyming now and get down to business.

Listen to Yes! You can Playlisten when your child is upset. We're talking:

Discover the signals children use to tell you play is ok today or that it's better to stay...
Playful parenting ideas you can use when storm clouds are just brewing
How to move from Staylistening into play
How to decide if you are Staylistening too much when you could be playing instead
And why play isn't a substitute for Staylistening and why we can't replace tears with laughter

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We'd love to hear about your parenting challenges. You can follow Hand in Hand on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. Be sure to drop Elle and Abigail a message at podcast@handinhandparenting.org

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How To Potty Train Your Child in 10 Easy Years Jul 10, 2019

Show notes

Since we have all personally gone through potty training and we will all have to go through it with our kids, you'd think we'd have nailed down one, surefire potty training method.

But the 11,000 google results you get when you type in 'How to potty train my child,' clearly shows that a one-size-fits-all approach is about as likely as you getting a 5-minute shower with no disruptions.

Yerright.

Sadly, there is no magic potty training method. And sometimes it feels like you'll still be sitting with your child and wiping their butt when they go off to college! But, don't fear...

So Many Methods, So Many Questions

Potty-train in 3 days or wait till they lead?
Will pee but won't poop...
Is fine at home but won't pee at pre-school...
Pull-ups or bare bums?

The questions are endless.

Which is why we get wholly confused, flabbergasted, frustrated, impatient and exhausted when it comes to potty training.

Does this rite of passage have to be so arrrgh?

This week, a few ideas to help.

No matter which potty training method or approach you lean towards you can incorporate the Hand in Hand tools to de-stress the process. And we can certainly promise some fun solutions too.

This week, find out out how you can laugh, play and cry your way to the potty and back. You'll discover...

Play methods you can use to reduce potty pressure and power battles.
What to expect from the potty training years, whichever method you choose.
Why we veer clear of rewards and use laughter instead
A slowly-slowly approach that really works with fearful kids

We're talking the good, the bad and the stinky in potty training. Join us for How to Potty Train Your Child in 10 Easy Years and then get the super fun potty training games in 8 Ways to Make Potty Training Playful.

Join the waitlist for the Hand in Hand Parent Club. Entry is closed right now, but we'll be back open in the fall.

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Join Abigail's rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

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3 Smart, Sensitive Ways to Respond to Your Child's Anxiety Jul 03, 2019

Show notes

"Mom, I can't go to camp today. I have a stomachache."

This is the third time this week your child has complained of a sore stomach, and yet she shows no other symptoms of being unwell.

You wonder…is something else going on under the radar?

Does your child complain of stomachaches?
Does she get tearful or angry regularly, refuse to go places or try new things?
Does your child worry a lot, gets obsessive or compulsive? Does he or she act clingy or have trouble sleeping?

Or, do you see all of these?

what are the signs my child is anxious?

Child anxiety is on the rise, but even if your child has not been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, all children have anxious moments. And what can look like defiance or stubbornness can indicate your child is feeling anxious.

Reading the signs and responding to them with actionable strategies can help a child shake off anxiety and emerge stronger and more resilient.

try these 3 ideas to flip your child's anxiousness

On this episode of the Hand in Hand podcast, we look at the causes and signs of child anxiety, and Abigail shares three really useful flips you can use to turn your child's anxious behavior around. You'll share new insights and mindshifts that will point your child towards strength and confidence.

Listen now.

More on How the Hand in Hand Tools Work with trauma

You can learn more about the t herapeutic benefits of using Hand in Hand Parenting here. Get download.

Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!

Join Abigail's rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

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Why is my kid swearing? Jun 26, 2019

Show notes

Have you ever asked your child to do something simple, like pack their toys away before dinner? For a second they stare back and you wide-eyed, all chubby-cheeked cherubic sweetness.

And then they scrunch those eyes and tell you to $#@ off?

oh no, she didn't…

Kids who cuss are more common than you might think. If you put those terms into any search engine results throw up videos full of kids swearing.

Some people, apparently, find kids swearing hilarious.

Others not so much.

And as we share on the podcast this week where you are on the parenting swearing spectrum has much to do with how swear words showed up in your own childhood.

This week we're talking about why some kids swear with glee and other kids, well meh, they'd rather go draw a comic.
We're talking the parenting shame and humiliation that happens when your kid swears and what you can do.
We're talking about getting light around swearing while at the same time setting limits on sassy language.
And we're talking about how swearing can offer fertile grounds for connecting. Yes, you read that right, you can use swearing to bring you closer.

try a little four-letter fun…

And because this podcast is the shizzaz we're sharing four strategies you can use to get clear on where your family stands with swearing and handling your kids when their searing looks like its spiraling.

If you've been asking why is my kid swearing? Listen to the podcast this week and discover why there may are many reasons your child is swearing, and why none of them are bad.

a little something extra

Oh and here are 15 of Shakespeare's swears (that Abigail mentioned) and they are way too fun. Would thou wouldst burst?

This post shares more on why kids get hooked on bad words and how you can respond.

find your tribe School's out and so are we

Summer enrolment for the Parent Club is closing soon. Check out our special summer offer…before it's gone

Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!

Join Abigail's rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

Stay connected

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Try These Quick, Smart Tips to Conquer Your Parenting Overwhelm Jun 20, 2019

Show notes

You sink down on the rug in tears and wonder how you can ever keep going. Then you see your daughter's abandoned stuffie under the sofa, next to an overdue library book, so you scoop them out, tuck them on the shelf, shove your hair in a bun, and get started with the laundry.

What happened to your tears? You discarded them like your daughter did her stuffie.

Welcome to mom overwhelm.

Mom overwhelm is the science of feeling crushed by the weight of life and living it anyway!

This week, we're making space for overwhelm and talking about the ways we can bust through it.

If you feel like a cog in a wheel of making breakfast and answering email and rushing to activities and getting laundry done and finding lost library books and washing bodies and reading story books and wait, when did you last really see your partner?

Listen in.

quick smart tips to conquer your mom overwhelm

Today we talk turning that overwhelm around…

Why is overwhelm like eating a really hot curry
Why modern life creates a perfect environment for overwhelm to flourish
How to cultivate walk away moments
Why you need to listen to warnings as whispers and see if they grow loud
How redefining your mom role can create space and recognition
Why urgent and important are not the same thing
How to go to bed feeling happier you moved the needle

find your tribe School's out and so are we

Summer enrolment for the Parent Club is closing soon. Check out our special summer offer…before it's gone

Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!

Join Abigail's rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

Stay connected

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Who Else is Watching Your Power Struggles? Jun 12, 2019

Show notes

Read on to learn why it pays to keep positive with your kids

"Last cookie," you say, lightly.

"No." Your son says. Then he stuffs the cookie into his mouth, grabs three more and runs from the room.

You're just about to charge from the kitchen in a chase when your eyes fall on another set of eyes.

Your younger son.

Wide-eyed and wondering.

Who's in charge here? his eyes seem to say.

How far can we push you? Are you going to...lose it?

This week we're talking the kid that pushes your buttons...and the brothers and sisters who are watching.

How does what you say or do in the heat of the moment reflect on them?

Abigail shares a big win when she got her over-tired tween to bed early, despite his resistance at every opportunity. But what surprised her most was how her younger son responded.

Listen in and feel inspired if you:

Struggle with keeping calm in Staylistening
Feel like one of your kids is playing you or pushing your buttons
Get sucked into debate and reasoning with your child when you set a limit
You feel like one child takes up so much more of your energy than the other
Power battles between you and one child results in your kids taking sides
Feel like you always give in...

You'll see how your responses can impacts everyone in your house - including you! And why it pays to keep positive with your children in ways you might not imagine.

find your tribe School's out and so are we

Summer enrolment for the Parent Club is closing soon. Check out our special summer offer...before it's gone

Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!

Join Abigail's rocking new community and be mother-flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

Stay connected

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

How to Superboost your Parent Support Today Jun 05, 2019

Show notes

The baby woke at 4am.

His brother just 45 minutes later.

Since then you've been puked on, drawn on, and changed three diapers. You burnt a bagel and your kid tipped his cereal over in a rage. Now the baby is screaming because he's hungry and your son is pulling at your pants leg because he wants to play.

Oh yeah. And it's only 7.53am.

Who you gonna call?

Ghostbuster's won't help. But there is someone else. A special person who will let you scream about how bad your morning has been, and gently tell you they understand. Who will nod sympathetically and not judge you when you say that you are Just.Too.Tired.To.Play!

Who will laugh with you when you admit, embarrassingly, that you just wanted to fling that dumped out cereal bowl across the living room, pick up your bag and walk out of there forever. (Or at least just until you'd had a mani-pedi/shopping binge/peace and quiet.)

If you know Hand in Hand Parenting then you know that when the going gets tough we call…a listening partner.

There's no other place that offers quite the same level of support, care and nurturing when you are at the end of your rope with parenting. It eases exhaustion, lightens the mental load and makes room for more energy and enjoyment with your kids.

But are you using your listening time to the max?

This week Abigail shares a powerful story about how listening rescued her when she hit rock bottom in parenting, and her and Elle discuss the ways you can boost your listening time to make it even more empowering, supportive and freeing.

And if you haven't started a listening partnership, don't worry! There's plenty in the podcast for you – and some downloads below!

On How to Superboost Your Parent Support, you'll find:

Why making time honors your self-care and enhances the work and care you pour into your family
The times a light clearing out of your feelings can be useful versus times to probe deeper
Three ways to get more from your listening time and really boost your well-being
Still journaling? That's great – but why haven't you started listening? Overcoming the obstacles and actually getting started with Listening Time

find your tribe

Never heard of Listening Time? You'll find everything you need to know in this ebook.

Want to find a listening partner? Join our free Facebook community and post to get started.

Listen to our earlier podcast and discover how Listening Partnerships can sound.

Take the class!

Be the best listener you can be. Learn the art of connected active listening and discover how you like to be listened to. This in-depth online video course teaches steps to building your ideal listening partnership so you can change parenting for the better. Learn more.

Become Mother-Flipping-Awesome!

Join Abigail's rocking new community and be mother- flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

Stay connected

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

Do you know when your child needs you most of all? May 28, 2019

Show notes

The last time you asked them to tidy their crayons, they smashed the whole box on the floor and ripped up the color sheet.

You have to psyche yourself up when you need them to turn off the TV, because…BOOM! Epic meltdown.

Forget about asking for a hug. Your child wriggles away from your hand on his shoulder.

Does every request you make send your child into a raging meltdown?

You spend life walking on eggshells. (As well as Lego bricks.)

But, do you know what?

This is actually when your child needs you most of all.

But how do you get close when your child acts like a tiny tyrant, doing everything they can to push you away? When it's hard to even be in a room with them?

you need to get close when your child pushes you away. here's why.

This week, Abigail and Elle show you how to maximise a special tool you can use when you want to transform meltdowns into closeness and co-operation. Use it to stop power battles and turn your child's difficult, defiant behaviors around.

On the podcast this week:

Learn what your child's ongoing acts of aggression and rage are showing you
How to take shouting and screaming and turn then into smiles
Maximise the tool so you two can laugh, play and actually enjoy each other again.

If you are exhausted or confused by your child's rage and meltdowns, listen in now and get these simple solutions you can apply today.

get your guide to special time

New to Special Time? Here's a free chapter from our book Listen. Learn all about this amazing tool.

find your tribe

Join Abigail's rocking new community and be mother- flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

Stay connected

Get weekly tips, ideas, and inspiration for your parenting in our newsletter

How to Respond to Your Kid's Mistakes in a Way You Can Be Proud Of May 22, 2019

Show notes

Do you know how bad your child feels when they mess up?

They may look angry. They may look amused. They may show bravado.

But in every kid that messes up is a pit of shame, sadness, confusion and doubt about their own self-worth.

How do we know? Because aren't those the exact same feelings we adults feel when we mess up - when we really look inside?

And we parents often heap on that shame.

You get into blame and guilt, lectures and stand-offs. Just the way you were treated when you were little.

If you want to avoid the stand-offs, forced apologies, shame and humiliation we experienced when we messed up, we need new tools and new responses.

This week we share three ways to respond that will actually build trust and empathy with your child - whether mistakes are big or small!

Discover 3 Responses You Can Use To Build Trust and Avoid Shame

On this week's podcast, we're talking mistakes - when you make them and when your kid makes them. Listen in for:

Why confrontation and blame only builds kids shame and self-loathing
Why empathy isn't a soft response when it comes to mistakes
Why sharing your own mistakes maybe the best thing you can do when your child messes up
Three different approaches you can use to build trust when your child messes up (or feels like they have)
How to show your child that mistakes can be teachable moments

When mistakes happen in your house, these tools and ideas will guide and support your child and boost trust.

Join us this week for How to Respond to Your Kid's Mistakes in a Way You Can Be Proud Of

Here's the download Elle mentions. Reduce the stress of parenting! Get now

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Get ready to join Abigail's rocking new community and be mother- flipping-awesome. Go here to get registered now.

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