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Gumball Love Podcast — Health
Gumball Love Podcast

Ever had a guy ghost you? He’s into you and suddenly he pulls away or cheats? Does he leave and come back into your life? This is a Gumball Guy. Gumball Love is attention addiction.

Attention is just like a Gumball, temporarily intense and sweet but soon the effect is gone. Guys addicted to the “Gumball” (any flavor of attention), get a high from the excitement, adoration and validation. During this cycle they appear to be falling in love. When the high is gone they pull away, ghost or cheat leaving you feeling confused, rejected and heartbroken.

I’m your host, Melissa Roberts, professional relationship coach, creator of Gumball Love and the Back to You Academy. If you’re ready to stop the cycle of toxic men, get through the break up once and for all, and finally get back to YOU, you are in the right place. This journey is about healing your heart, and you are encouraged to take the pace that is just right for you. In the process, you will build a foundation of confidence and strength that will make you unshakable, I promise. So get ready to level up your mindset and your lifestyle, as you awaken the seeds of greatness that are waiting to burst into full bloom. Let’s do this!

Find Melissa Roberts at www.GumballLove.com
Instagram: @MelissaJaneRoberts
Email: Melissa@GumballLove.com
Facebook group: Gumball Love VIP Clubhouse

Latest Episodes:

Why isn't he texting back? Jan 11, 2021

Show notes

We've all been there...you're texting back and forth with a guy, and the responses are pretty quick in the beginning, everything is exciting, you're getting the butterflies....and gradually, the responses get slower and slower to be returned (or, it's very sudden that he's taking so long to reply).

You start to freak out, thinking he's not interested in you, he's texting another girl, or whatever else our creative minds think up! Your natural response may be to scold him and educate him on how he should be responding, but I want you to consider a different approach.

In this episode, I walk you through the reasons why he may not be texting back right away, why you shouldn't freak out and start imagining worse case scenarios, why you should just wait it out, and what it looks like when you're texting a healthy guy.

Other episodes mentioned

5 signs to tell early on he's not the right one

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

How to Deal with Gaslighting Jan 04, 2021

Show notes

In this episode, we're digging into gaslighting. If you haven't heard of gaslighting before, it's defined as: "Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that's seen in abusive relationships. It's the act of manipulating a person by forcing them to question their thoughts, memories, and the events occurring around them. A victim of gaslighting can be pushed so far that they question their own sanity."

If you've ever been in a situation where someone was accusing you of something that you really don't remember doing or saying, or they're totally exaggerating something you did or said and making you doubt your own judgement of reality, you're likely being gaslit.

In this episode, we cover:

What is gaslighting and how to recognize it
Example situations of gaslighting you may find yourself in
When you are most vulnerable to gaslighting
The psychological reason for why people gaslight others
How to deal with gaslighting in a safe way
Things to avoid doing when someone is gaslighting you

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

THE WHITE GUMBALL: Prove Yourself To Me Dec 28, 2020

Show notes

When you're in a new relationship or just starting to go on a few dates with a guy, do you ever feel like you're being evaluated against some checklist on a clipboard?

He says things like, "When you do that it reminds me of my ex, who cheated on me..." or "I have trust issues so I can't handle it when you...". Then you find yourself doing backflips and performing trying to prove that you won't hurt him like the last girl. Things will be different this time, I'm not like the other girls!!

But he's still skeptical. And the more energy you spend trying to prove yourself, the more you lose part of your identity, the more your self confidence weakens, and the more you fall under his control.

And the more dopamine hits he gets so he can feel soothed, comforted by the fact that you probably won't leave him like the last girl.

Welcome to the last episode in this "flavors of attention" series! We've covered each Gumball flavor/color that correlates to a type of attention addiction that a Gumball Guy may have. The final episode covers The White Gumball: Prove Yourself To Me. It's white because you can picture a doctor in a white coat with a clipboard looking very skeptical and evaluating you.

After listening to this full series (links down below), you'll likely start to notice these behavioral patterns of guys you're dating or in a relationship with, and notice when you're giving them gumballs. When this happens, no need to judge yourself or to leave the relationship right away. Just becoming aware and observing are the first steps!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

Gumball Flavors Series:

THE PINK GUMBALL: ITS ALL ABOUT ME Dec 14, 2020

Show notes

When a guy wants the Pink Gumball type of attention, he's the one who always makes every conversation about him. You could say anything, and he'll always turn it back to him. Or when he gives you a gift, it's not for the joy of watching you light up when you receive it, it's about him being able to take all the credit for finding the gift, or how much money he spent on it, etc.

Tune in to hear more about how you can spot when a guy wants this gumball, and how to respond. This episode is also jam packed with motivation and encouragement on finding the one, so if you need a pick me up, this is it!!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

Gumball Flavors Series:

THE PURPLE GUMBALL: CHASE ME Dec 07, 2020

Show notes

"Work is so crazy right now, but we should meet up soon." -text from a guy who wants the Purple Gumball

This episode is all about the Purple Gumball, or the guy who gets high off you chasing and pursuing him. He's the guy who says and does just enough to keep you reeled in, but doesn't actually offer anything valuable to your life. He just takes and takes.

He's the one who's always "too busy" and "not ready to date"...even though he's messaging you on a dating site.

You may start to question...why is he not excited to meet with me? Is there something wrong with me?

It is NOT about you. A person who doesn't respect another person's time, doesn't respect themselves.

Tune in to listen to the full break down of the Purple Gumball, and how you can respond to this behavior.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

Gumball Flavors Series:

THE BLUE GUMBALL: Pity Me Nov 29, 2020

Show notes

This episode is about the Blue Gumball, or as I like to call it, "Pity Me". This is the guy (or person, if it's one of your friends or family members), who is always complaining about everything and wants your constant sympathy and pity. You try and give them advice, but they never take action on anything. They just want to hear themselves complain.

We all have our low moments where sometimes we just want to vent, and we just need a pep talk. But there is a difference between this, and the unhealthy attention addiction.

I break this down further in the episode, as well as how to spot when a guy wants a Blue Gumball, and when you are giving the Blue Gumball. I also offer suggestions about how to respond to the Blue Gumball, immediately shutting it down so you're not giving away your precious energy, love and nurturing to someone who will actually receive and appreciate it.

If you think you're dealing with a Gumball Guy and feeling stuck, sad, confused, alone...PLEASE don't hesitate to book a call with me! I promise I'm not scary:) No situation is too messy...I love the mess! Check the links below to get in touch!

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

Other Suggested Episodes:

The Green Gumball: Compete with Her for Me Nov 23, 2020

Show notes

The Green Gumball: Green with Envy, Compete with Her for Me, is the guy who you'll be sitting with at your first or second date and he says, "I've gone on a few dates with this other girl, and I really thought she was it for me, but now that I've met you...I really like you too. I'm just not sure."

Just imagine, how do you feel in that moment?

You may feel the sudden urge to prove yourself worthy. Prove that YOU'RE the right choice, and start to compete with her. And that's exactly what gives him the high.

Know that none of what he does is about you. It is HIS insecurity, and he's just manipulating you and trying to get a reaction so he can feel better about himself.

In this episode, I give you all the red flags of a Green Gumball, how to respond when you're on a date with one or in a relationship with one, and how to stop going after these types of guys.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

THE YELLOW GUMBALL: ENTERTAIN ME Nov 16, 2020

Show notes

Does it feel like you always have to be entertaining your guy, or he's bored?

A while back I'd started a series assigning a different color or "flavor of attention" to each type of Gumball Guy.

I've already done an episode on the Red Gumball, which is the guy who is all about sex, and the Orange Gumball, which is the guy who wants the intense drama.

In this episode, I talk about the Yellow Gumball, which is the guy who wants you to entertain him or put all your attention on him.

He's that guy who is like a giant fussy baby...always too hot, too cold, the music is too loud or not loud enough, he's tired, he's bored at the party asking how much longer you have to stay.

He's looking on his phone rather than paying attention to anyone around him, if the attention isn't on him he's uninterested.

We talk about:

How to identify if he's a Red, Orange, or Yellow Gumball
How to respond to the Yellow Gumball guy, especially if they're a family member and can't always be avoided
Why we attract the Yellow Gumball
Sneak peak of the rest of the upcoming colors

Other episodes mentioned:

The Red Gumball: sex, porn, strip clubs, prostitutes, want a sexy picture, compliments on body, friends with benefits
The Orange Gumball: drama. storms out. stonewalls, picks fights. punishes you when you don't do what he wants. calls you crazy. calls you names

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

How to See Your Value When You Don't Feel Like Enough Nov 09, 2020

Show notes

In this episode, I'm answering your questions!

**Trigger warning: suicide is discussed in this episode**

We've got scenarios like..

After the fifth date, when things seemed to be going great and even the topic of marriage was touched upon, seemingly out of no where the guy says he doesn't think they're a good fit. Our girl wants to know, "What did I do wrong?"
A woman is worried she isn't as established or successful in her career as the potential guy is
Lastly, an ex boyfriend told a woman that she wasn't good in bed. Then, she saw a new guy for a bit, and the guy ghosted her, so she believes it's confirmed that she's not good in bed

The answers to these questions lie in understanding our own unique value, as well as the importance of communication.

Tune in to learn how to see your own value and worth, especially when you don't feel good enough, and how to see ghosting from a whole new perspective.

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

Soni Pelty Left an Abusive Marriage, Discovered Herself, and Found Real Love Nov 02, 2020

Show notes

If you are currently considering leaving your marriage, going through a divorce, or dating after divorce, you're gonna want to listen to this episode for some serious inspiration!

Soni Pelty got married at age 19 through an arranged marriage, as is custom in her Indian heritage.

Things seemed fine the first couple months, until she discovered her husband's porn addiction.

After 22 years of dealing with this addiction, physical and emotional abuse, and fighting, Soni finally got the strength to leave the marriage after some wise words from her then 15 year old son.

In her 40's and getting back into the dating game, Soni went on 300..yes, 300 dates!! With very clear intentions about what she wanted, until she finally found the man of her dreams and got remarried!

But it wasn't just about finding the man. The most important part for Soni was finding herself and realizing her worth. Now, she helps other women do the same as a relationship coach.

Highlights of this episode:

Soni explains the process of arranged marriage and what this experience was like for her at 19 years old
How her marriage began to fall apart and what finally led her to divorce him
Advice for women currently considering divorcing, or recently divorced
How Soni began to discover herself and what she wants, and her journey going on 300 dates and finding the love of her life

Follow and Work with Soni

Follow and Work with Melissa

The Back to You Academy is officially closed, but you can still work with Melissa one-on-one! Click here to view services or reach out via email: melissa@gumballlove.com
Direct Message Melissa on Instagram, @themelissaleger
Join the VIP Facebook group

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