Good Children

Latest Episodes:

The Rules of Open Relationships Aug 20, 2025

Show notes

This week, the boys break down the phenomena of open relationships. Who sets the rules? Who gets to play? Do you tell your partner about your hookups? And more. Plus: hear from a concerned listener (Grant Gibbs) as they share their trials and tribulations on the outside of someone else's relationship.

Join us on Patreon! No filter. No notes. No pants (optional). New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST: https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod

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The Death of Body Positivity Aug 13, 2025

Show notes

*TW: This week's episode touches on some very real themes surrounding body dysmorphia and weight loss drugs.* Today we're breaking down our ever-changing relationships to our bodies in a GLP-1 dominated society.

New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST on Patreon. No filter. No notes. No pants (optional): https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod

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Click it and earn points. He’s serious. This is not an ad.

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmonson
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod
https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/
https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella

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How It Feels to Fall for a Boy for the First Time Aug 06, 2025

Show notes

Did someone order an episode of Love, Victor? This week, we’re talking our first gay romances. Joe met a boy at the Met and spent the summer in museum corners, on crowded trains, on dates that felt like a movie. Andrew kissed someone under fireworks and fell into weeks of new friends, nights at Stonewall, rose petals, the works. It was tender. It was formative. It was a little embarrassing in retrospect. New episodes drop Thursdays at 8PM EST on Patreon. No filter. No notes. No pants (optional): https://www.patreon.com/goodchildrenpod Joe’s Chase Sapphire referral link: https://www.referyourchasecard.com/19t/Z5YLLGK01K Click it and earn points. He’s serious. This is not an ad. HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella EDITOR: Kenzie Edmonson FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/ https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella

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Going to Poundtown at the Beach Jul 30, 2025

Show notes

Good Children: The Podcast is known for its fearless, unflinching commitment to investigative journalism. This week, we take on the most urgent question of our time: why does summer in New York City make us so h*rny, sweaty, and lowkey depressed? From cruising at the beach to falling in love on the L train, we examine the intersection of heat, humidity, and boob sweat.

Guys I’m so serious, use my Chase Sapphire referral link so we all win. Earn 100,000 points with Sapphire Reserve® or 75,000 bonus points with Sapphire Preferred®: https://www.referyourchasecard.com/19t/Z5YLLGK01K THIS IS NOT AN AD!

Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmonson
LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:
https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod
https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/
https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella

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Sitting, Scooping, and Sucking: Bathroom Politics Jul 23, 2025

Show notes

Good Children: The Podcast continues its brave, Pulitzer-adjacent coverage of the issues that matter. This week, we investigate the modern bathroom: a space for releasing, for sucking, for crying, and wondering when you'll buy toilet paper again. From the architectural injustice of door-to-floor stalls to the unspoken rules of public restroom etiquette, we’re naming names, pointing fingers, and asking the question no one else will: do you sit and scoop?

Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

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Bagels: A Definitive Ranking Jul 16, 2025

Show notes

Good Children: The Podcast prides itself on award-winning journalism that isn't afraid to ask the hard-hitting questions that might make other comedian podcast duos uncomfortable. This week, we're tackling our toughest subject yet: would you f*ck that bagel?

Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

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Early Signs of Daddy Puberty Jul 09, 2025

Show notes

This week, we’re talking Daddy Puberty: the slow, confusing transformation from boy to twink to… Daddy. Is it a mindset? A muscle mass threshold? A beard-to-hair ratio? We break down the biology, the psychology, and the pop culture mythology of what it really means to enter your Daddy Era. Plus: pop culture daddies from childhood and a debate over whether being called “Daddy” is a compliment or a cry for help.

Find us on Patreon: no filter, no notes, and no pants (optional). New episodes drop every Thursday at 8PM EST. Only here: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

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Escaping The Fire Island Hookup Forest Jul 02, 2025

Show notes

This week, we embed ourselves deep inside the myth, the legend, the cautionary tale that is Fire Island. Our mission? To uncover the truth behind the infamous Belvedere Hotel, an all-nude, men-only boarding house perched just beyond the bounds of good judgment. What begins as an overnight getaway quickly spirals into blackouts at drag brunch, fighting for our lives in the Meat Rack, and late-night cruising that felt more like The Blair Witch Project than a vacation. Join us as we investigate the intersection of queerness, liberation, and public sex, one towel at a time.
Find us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmonson
LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/ https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella

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From The Archive: Who Drank At My 17th Birthday Party? Jun 25, 2025

Show notes

ONE WEEK UNTIL WE'RE BACK WITH NEW EPISODES! Thanks for your patience <3 In the meantime, find us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/goodchildrenpod

This week, travel back to a cold case from 2013 in which 12 beer cans were discovered at Joe's 17th birthday party.

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella
LISTEN: https://linktr.ee/goodchildren
FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/goodchildrenpod https://www.instagram.com/joehegyes/ https://www.instagram.com/andrewmuscarella

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From The Archive: Bear in the Woods (S4E7) Jun 19, 2025

Show notes

Thank you for your patience as we plan our next season, we'll be back shortly with brand new episodes starting in July! (Happy Pride Month, am I right?)

Until then, join us for a weekend in nature that changed our lives forever.*

*a few weeks.

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

@goodchildrenpod

@joehegyes

@andrewmuscarella

@goodchildrenpod

@bequietjoe

@andrew_musky

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