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Good Children — Comedy
Good Children

Childhood best friends Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella spent their youth chasing gold stars—now they’re just trying to stop sucking in their stomachs. Each week, they unpack a shared history of anxiety, performance, and the side effects of being a little too well-behaved.
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Copyright: © 2024 Joe Hegyes and Andrew Muscarella

Latest Episodes:

The Hunger Games Made Me Not Suicidal Apr 02, 2025

Show notes

WE'RE WEBBY NOMINATED VOTE HERE PLEASE!
This week, for the third time, we are bringing you back to the woods of Long Island, 2012, as Joe and Andrew partake in a life-or-death battle against fellow high schoolers in a dramatic re-enactment of The Hunger Games.

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Can A Zoo Be Ethical? And Other Moral Debates You Expect From This Podcast Mar 26, 2025

Show notes

This week we take a very serious look at zoos as Andrew presses Joe on the ethical boundaries of zookeepers and Joe argues for the proper care and conservation of endangered species. No, we’re not kidding, that’s what the episode is about.

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Midwest Is the Europe of America Mar 19, 2025

Show notes

This week we bring you along for the ride of a lifetime as we talk through our most recent set of live shows in the midwest. From a rental car debacle that almost ended in disaster to an elevator experience some could describe as impossible, we made it through by the skin of our teeth and the synthetic fibers of our Chappell Roan wigs.

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

You (Might) Have A Phone Addiction Mar 12, 2025

Show notes

This week we talk about our very complicated relationship to the internet, dating back to the dawn of social media and all the way up to the present day, where it’s lowkey our entire livelihood (and what that means for our mental health). We also talk about the addictive quality of going viral and how we secretly compare ourselves to each other. What happens when you think don’t measure up to your best friend?

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Well, Well, Wellness Mar 05, 2025

Show notes

Today we tackle wellness culture: from experiments in goop to cauliflower crust ending with some positive affirmations by Pharrell Williams.

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Jon Lovett on Math, Chipotle, & Long Island Feb 26, 2025

Show notes

Today we're joined by Gay Long Island Podcast Royalty: Jon Lovett. From a career in political speechwriting to a stint on Survivor, Jon traces his life back to his roots: a suburban upbringing on Long Island, New York.

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Body Keeps The Score, And, Girl, We’re Getting Our Ass Beat Feb 19, 2025

Show notes

LAST CHANCE Tickets for Indianapolis, Chicago, and Madison HERE!!

TW: Diet Culture, Body Image, and, girlllll, just some typical self-hating gays.

Today we move through our journeys with fitness as we giggle and gab about workout classes. From the dark room of SoulCyle to the comfort of an at-home workout, we’ve pretty much tried everything once. Certified Personal Trainer & Fitness Coach, Andrew, talks about his complicated relationship with the fitness world and Joe worries he might be regressing to a less body positive era of his life. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll immediately want to sign up for Patreon for a brand new bonus episode EVERY SINGLE THURSDAY AT 8PM EST!

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

If You’re In Your Darkest Hour: Click On This Feb 12, 2025

Show notes

This week, we are back on the timeless subject of Valentine’s Day. Joe and Andrew discuss angel food cake, the devil, Instagram flirting tactics, Hailee Steinfeld, Hailee Steinfeld’s dad, Sia’s Jamaican patois, and the mental and emotional state of one of our perpetually Valentine-less hosts, who will remain unnamed.

Tickets for Indianapolis, Chicago, and Madison HERE!!

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The Sick & Twisted Story of A Twink & A Redhead Feb 05, 2025

Show notes

This week we're joined by our IRL besties, Grant Gibbs and Ashley Gill AKA A Twink and a Redhead! We talk about our parallel lives growing up together in the tri-state area, our joint love of chain restaurants, and getting to know each other as neighbors in Brooklyn!

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What Cruise Ships Do To The Brain Jan 29, 2025

Show notes

Today we're talking CRUISING!!!!! Specifically the family vacation we took together in 2022 that was anything but smooth sailing.

Join the Patreon community for a brand new episode every Thursday night: patreon.com

HOSTS: Joe Hegyes & Andrew Muscarella

EDITOR: Kenzie Edmondson

FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM:

@goodchildrenpod

@andrewmuscarella

FOLLOW US ON TIKTOK:

@goodchildrenpod

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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