Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

Latest Episodes:

157: 7 Ways To Put the PLAY back in FOREPLAY and Make Sex Fun, Not Work Oct 20, 2023

Show notes

Today I want to talk about what to do when you want to want to have sex but you don't feel in the mood for it yet. Although it would be nice to get in the mood, you know that it's going to take time and energy to get there, and it's tempting to just postpone sexy time to another time when you'll have more energy. But when you think about scheduling sex, it feels like yet another thing to add to the to-do list. So there it goes again: sex feels like work rather than play, and it gets put on the back burner. Again.

This episode covers reasons that couples struggle with play and foreplay, and then 7 actionable ways to add relaxed playfulness into your relationship and sexual encounters!

Remember that if you plan on building an exciting, intimate marriage that lasts a lifetime, it requires healthy doses of newness injected into your marriage regularly. We all go through seasons, but the best way to keep your sex life out of a rut is to keep things fresh and new.

Some of the suggestions in this episode are going to take some effort to prepare. But even the preparation can be part of the fun! It builds anticipation!

Here are links to some of the resources discussed in today's episode:

156: How the 9 Personality Types Influence Your Sex Life, According to Relationship Expert Christa Hardin Oct 13, 2023

Show notes

The famous psychologist Carl Jung once said, "The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed."

Intimate marriages require a lot of intimate contact in terms of body, mind, head, and soul. It's also why I believe marriage, especially sex in marriage, is the most sure-fire path to grow up and mature to attain your best and highest version of yourself.

The principles I want to share with you in today's episode is that when you have a better grasp of your own light and shadow, and your spouse's light and shadow, you can work with each other's strengths to create a remarkable marriage. This requires self awareness and practice of course.

One of the tools I've found that has helped me understand myself and my wife better is the Enneagram personality typing. Today I've invited Christa Hardin to my podcast to talk more about it. I've read her recent book, The Enneagram and Marriage, and I wanted her to share some of her insights and experience with you to help you get your marriage on.

You can learn more about her book and purchase it on her website or Amazon.

Free enneagram test: https://personalitypath.com/free-enneagram-personality-test/

If you like this content, check out getyourmarriageon.com for more:

155: Sex is Weird: Embracing the Awkward, Fetishes, Butt Stuff, and Building a Marriage for Two - Q&A Oct 06, 2023

Show notes

I love hearing your success stories! If you would like to share yours on the podcast, please fill out this form.

This episode covers six of the anonymous questions I've received this month. You all sure send me some really good questions! If you would like to submit an anonymous question, you can do so on our website.

Today we answer questions about fetishes, shame, anal play and how we overcome awkwardness and the "gross factor." I also address talking to our partners about the hard stuff, what to do when we don't share their perspective or want them to do something differently. Ultimately, it's all about how we can know and be known by our spouses and make room for both spouses to be equal partners in all things.

Thanks for listening!

If you like this content, check out getyourmarriageon.com for more:

154: Good Vibrations: How To Close the Orgasm Gap in Your Marriage Tonight, Featuring Amanda Louder Sep 29, 2023

Show notes

I strongly believe one of the paths to a stronger marriage is by doing the work necessary to have a great sex life as a couple.

Why start with sex? It's because there's such a strong link between pleasure and connection. When you increase and broaden the pleasure you experience as a couple, you'll find your emotional and spiritual connection deepen as well.

Besides, doing the work necessary to have great sex forces individuals to learn how to deeply love their spouse like they've never loved before; it requires trust, self-confidence, and an open heart. In short, developing your sexual relationship leads to more personal growth than anything else.

Unfortunately, there's an orgasm gap in many marriages. Although orgasm isn't the only measure of a great sex life, it's a good enough proxy measure for the pleasure a couple enjoys in sex. I believe women are just as capable of sexual pleasure than men, if not more capable than men. And even though just about every person on the planet is capable of experiencing the pleasure of orgasm in sex, in far too many marriages women aren't experience orgasm as frequently as men do.

Today my guest is my friend Amanda Louder. Amanda is a fellow marriage and intimacy coach. She is the host of the podcast, Sex For Saints. We're going to talk about practical strategies to help you overcome your orgasm gaps in your marriage today. We're also going to talk about sex toys that are used as an aid for pleasure as a couple. Did you know that over 70% of those that responded to my poll on Instagram say that they have used or currently use a vibrator? Many people are curious about trying a vibrator but don't know where to go to buy one without feeling weird about it. If that's you, open the Intimately Us app and go to the Learn Section, then Products We Love for my personal recommendations from trusted companies and brands.

153: How a Sexy Bedroom Game Took Our Sex Life to the Next Level with Dan & Emily Purcell Sep 22, 2023

Show notes

RETREAT FLASH SALE: We've sold out of the main hotel (Hotel Lucy), but we're offering some spots at an overflow hotel next door at a discounted rate! It's $300 off right now through Sunday, September 24. PLUS, if you send us a DM on Instagram @getyourmarriageon, we'll send you a code to get another $100 off! This is the best price you'll get, so don't delay! Get the details here.

***

We're going back in time a couple years today as I'm bringing back an episode from our archives. I'm doing this for a few reasons:

We have acquired many new listeners on this podcast.
Related to number 1, many of you may not have heard my origin story and the background to Get Your Marriage On! and our app Intimately Us.
The biggest reason this episode is really special to me is my wonderful wife, Emily, who is as introverted as they come, was willing to be a guest on this podcast with me, so you get to hear her voice and her side of the story as well.

We were interviewed by a friend, Ariel Finlanson, who hosts the podcast Ladies Talking Love.

I do the Get Your Marriage On! podcast because I want to share what I'm learning with everyone. The reality is I'm not that different from many of you. I am on this journey and I'm just so excited that you can come along with me for the ride as I share the things that I'm learning alongside with you.

152: Your Sexual Fantasies: Once Upon a Time in a Bedroom Far, Far Away Sep 15, 2023

Show notes

Just a few spots left for our retreat! Register today!

After Dark Role-Play Workshop is tonight (Sep 15)!

Sexual fantasies can let you explore and try on new ideas to break away from the mundane and ordinary. When used properly, they can deepen your appreciation for what you have as well as take your relationship to new heights!

I hope by the end of this episode you're convinced of the value of sexual fantasies in your relationship as well as specific tools on how you can use your sexual fantasies to deepen your intimate connection as a couple as well as make sex really fun and exciting!

Along the way today, I'm going to answer questions I've received from many of you such as these:

"I'm embarrassed to tell my husband that I fantasize during sex. Is there anything wrong with that?"

"How do I tell my spouse about my fantasies?"

"I asked my wife what her sexual fantasies are. She said she doesn't have any. I find it hard to believe anyone doesn't have sexual fantasies. Does she really not have any or is she just reluctant to tell me?"

"I'm embarrassed about my fantasies. They're inappropriate! What's wrong with me?"

"My spouse keeps telling me about his fantasies and I'm put off by it! How do I tell him how I feel about it?"

151: How a "Good Girl" and Her Husband Bravely Chose a Better Sex Life: A Sextimony Sep 08, 2023

Show notes

Any of you with children are quite familiar with stages of child development. However, less talked about and less understood until recently are stages of adult development. As adults, our bodies may have grown, but our mind and spirits still continue to grow.

I love this interview you're about to hear with my friend Tammy.

It's an inspiring and relatable story about Tammy and her husband, Jake, and how they grew and progressed in their relationship. Tammy talks about her journey to break out of a limiting mindset and to embrace her own sexual desires and needs. She mentions that a turning point was when her husband enrolled them in a course related to sexual development and introduced her to a couple's retreat.

These experiences opened her eyes to the possibility of change and growth in this area. We also discuss how curiosity, open-mindedness, and gradual steps were key components of Tammy's journey. She describes a process of shedding her need for external validation, which allowed her to change and grow without being dependent on other people's opinions.

She also emphasizes the importance of self reflection learning how to love herself.

I hope this episode also inspires and gives hopes to listeners who wish their spouse would step up more in the sexual arena in their marriage. Listen closely to what Jake did that gave room for Tammy to grow and try new things.

If you're looking for support in your growth and intimacy in your marriage like Tammy and Jake did, I highly recommend you get on our website and book a spot at our upcoming couples retreat in Texas at the end of October. Our retreats are romantic, they're fun, as well as really in depth. They're a perfect balance of instruction and unstructured downtime to really enjoy a getaway with your lover. It's right around the corner, and spots are filling up quickly, so please register today.

150: Black Belt Sex Tips 3.0 Sep 01, 2023

Show notes

SEXTEMBER STARTS TODAY (September 1)! Read here for more.

Many of our podcast episodes are interviews with guests. I often invite my guests to share what I call a black belt sex tip. The idea for this comes from my own martial arts training I did for 13 years, and it applies to building a great sexual relationship with your spouse in your marriage too. It's that there's always going to be a next level.

Your growth never stops. You must master the basics before enjoying the higher level tactics in training. So, this is episode number 150. And I want to give you a roundup of the best black belt sex tips that my guests have taught me over the last 50 episodes. It's geared towards couples that have mastered the basics and are ready for their next level.

We have just a few openings left for our October Marriage and Intimacy Retreat in Granbury, Texas, which is just outside of the Dallas Fort Worth area. It's limited to about 20 couples only. You get to spend 4 days and 3 nights with your sweetheart, receive great instruction, enjoy good company, eat excellent food, participate in fun activities, and enjoy beautiful surroundings.

Besides, we take you on a deep dive into your relationship to help you unlock your next level to a closer and more intimate relationships and better sex in your relationship. Sign up today!

149: Afraid Your Husband Will Reject or Ignore You AGAIN tonight? Featuring Dr. Laurie Watson Aug 25, 2023

Show notes

What popular media has taught us

The media and stereotypical culture norms show that men are the ones usually sexually pursuing while the women are seducing and being pursued. Our culture is saturated with these tropes and themes: think James Bond, Indiana Jones, or many other shows that show this theme.

But what happens if you're in a marriage where you, as the wife, find yourself often pursuing him? And he's the one withdrawing, needing to be wooed? Or you're the one with more acceptance and freedom about your sexuality, eager to explore and pursue novelty and sexual fun while he's not so sure about his sexuality or has a lot of hangups?

Is it because you're not attractive enough?

It's common for women in these marriages to feel like they must not be attractive enough. You might have gone through a lot of effort to look and dress pretty (or undress) for the occasion and his rejection can really hurt. It's disregulating to feel rejected, and you wonder what's wrong with you. It's easy to get reactive in these situations, and start a downward spiral. You may even be wondering what you can do to get him interested in you sexually, or wonder why he withdraws, encouraging you to pursue even more.

Let's ask a therapist AND higher desire wife

My guest today is Dr. Laurie Watson. She's a sex therapist and marriage therapist and also a married woman who is the one with more sexual desire and the pursuer in her own marriage. I figured she's uniquely qualified to answer questions I've had about higher desire wives. I've found this conversation enlightening and refreshing. Laurie even gives very specific step-by-step suggestions on how to approach the subject with your spouse and how to build a better sexual relationship.

Get Help

If you're in a marriage where there's hard feelings because of a gap between the pursuer or distancer, or find differences in sexual desire levels to be a sore topic, don't stay there in misery. Get help. Check out Next Level, my coaching program for couples. You can meet with me and my team. It's really affordable, flexible, has TONS of value, and geared towards busy couples.

Another option is our in-person intensive in Dallas Forth Worth Texas area this October. Our retreats are 4 days, 3 nights and are in-depth and challenging in a good way. They're also really fun and romantic too! We have a few spots left. You can reserve your spot here!

Free Coaching

Come experience what coaching is like with my free marriage coaching hour on September 1. Register here!

148: How Hannah Learned to Love Sex and Her Body (Next Level Sneak Peek) Aug 18, 2023

Show notes

Expert marriage coaching can facilitate accelerated growth, overcoming obstacles in weeks or months that might otherwise take years to do on your own. Coaching has made a huge impact on my marriage. Two years ago, I went back to school and learned how to coach others too. I'm now full time with Get Marriage On! and I desire nothing more than to help you have a fulfilling, intimate marriage!

Today, you get to be like a fly on the wall, listening in to a real coaching session with a wonderful couple, Hannah and James. (Note that these aren't their real names and I have permission to share this excerpt with you.)

I want to invite you to try marriage coaching with me. I have an extremely affordable program unlike anything else out there.

I call it Next Level because I believe no matter where you are or where you think you are in your marriage now, there's always going to be a next level. My program is designed to help you reach your next level through our weekly calls, a private podcast, its own dedicated mobile app that ties you to the community of hundreds of other next levelers.

And it comes with tons of bonuses. There's also a men's and women's private group, and you can be as anonymous as you would like to be and participate as much or as little as you're comfortable doing.

And if you're still unsure, on Friday, September 1st at noon Mountain Time, I'll be hosting a free marriage coaching hour, where you can come and get coached at no charge to see how it can benefit you.

And if you'd like a more intensive experience, check out our couples retreat coming up on October 26! It's going to be amazing!

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